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Sharing is Caring especially when it comes to AUTISM

The following is something I read on Facebook today, although I do not know this mother personally, I understand her story all to well.  I believe her story, as I have seen this all too familiar scenario played out due to ignorance as well as unawareness to our special needs community.  Our communities are not comprised of all perfectly “normal” human specimens.  In fact, the quote that normal is only a setting on a washing machine or dryer is very true.  As we are all snowflakes, not one of us is identical to another, we all have our quirks.

When will we learn to be tolerant, accepting, and encompass the diversities we encounter on a daily basis?  When trusted medical doctors, nurses, and other healthcare officials cannot be trusted, it is time to change the system.  Approximately 17 years ago a Psychiatrist at the Cuyahoga County Board of Mental Retardation, informed my son (who was 11 at the time), my husband and myself, that he (our son) should give up his dreams and passion for baseball.  She told him his dreams were too lofty and that he was destined to living in a half-way house and performing menial jobs.

As parents, we refused to listen, and we argued with her that she was wrong despite a complete case study she provided us with to prove her point.  Today, not only did my son graduate high school with a 3.0+ GPA, attend college and receive a BS in Business Management, he has also been an Autism Advocate, and for over a year he has worked with the Cleveland Indians and has accepted two advancements.  He is living his passionate dream despite the ignorance of a “trusted” professional.  If we had listened and given into her diagnosis (not the one of our son’s neurologist) we would have not only ruined our son’s life but destroyed much of ours as well.

Anyone who knows someone on the spectrum most likely has a similar story, and we must continue to bring the REAL SPECTRUM AWARE to light.  April may be Autism Awareness Month, but for the one out of sixty-four and their families, Autism Awareness must be every day.  #IGNORANCENOTACCEPTED! #webothhavesonsbythenameofAlex

 

APRIL IS AUTISM AWARENESS/ACCEPTANCE MONTH
Why this is so important to me and many of my very dear friends…

Our story that changed me forever…

June 2015 Alex had a horrible sinus infection. He was in terrible pain, but because his verbal skills are limited, he did not know how to express how he was feeling. All he knew is he needed relief from the pain. He ended up hitting himself which resulted in 2 black eyes. As my poor “Gentle Giant” baby was lying in bed that night, his eye started to bleed. Although I was very skeptical on how he would be treated there I knew (thought) he needed to go to the hospital where they would give him something to make him feel better.  And that my friends is where Alex and my Horrific Nightmare Began…

Before this, I think we kind of lived in a bubble. Beachwood is kind of a small town where most people know each other. So most people knew Alex for the funny, smart, fun loving, Gentle Giant he is. On top of that, he attended an Autism School. So acceptance in the community was just part of our world. Never did I imagine he would go to a hospital 10 minutes away from our house where the minute he came through the doors, he was treated like a monster.

All these doctors saw was a 6’4” man with 2 black eyes not happy. They didn’t care that he was not happy because he was in pain. When I told them he had autism, they actually said to me “We have never had anyone here with autism before” I called Bullshit on them. “Really? 1 in 64 and he is your first?”

They put him in 4 point restraints and sedated him. They would not treat his sinus infection even though I insisted. I stayed with him 24/7. I slept in a metal folding chair and only left for a couple each night when someone I trusted at the time would come so I could shower. I heard and saw everything that went on. I would tell them he is in pain. I would beg them to give him something for his pain. They would say “He is sedated he doesn’t feel anything” I could see he was in pain. They didn’t care. To them, he wasn’t a person. He got pneumonia and ended up on a ventilator. This went on for 3 WEEKS! I fought with them, I yelled they DIDN’T CARE!! I tried telling them what a wonderful boy he is. THEY DIDN’T CARE!! To them he was a very large disabled “monster” The doctors would talk around me. Like I wasn’t there. They told me if he got out they wanted to send him to a mental hospital. They treated him like a crazy monster. They didn’t care; I was his mother and legal guardian. They acted like I knew nothing about him. They didn’t believe anything I told them. Me and others that saw him never said the words but knew he was going to die there. They were going to kill him. I begged for him to get transferred out of there. I thought of ways to sneak him out. Finally, after 3 weeks, they sent him by ambulance to the main Clinic where after 2 more weeks they were able to get him off the ventilator. He was left immobile. They wanted to send him to rehab, and I said “NO. NO MORE. I WILL DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING TO HAVE HIM REHAB AT HOME!”

Thank God Alex has the Fershtman determination and hard work ethic. It took a while but he had to learn to walk and feed himself again. And most importantly he had to learn to TRUST again.
He had nightmares from this experience. I slept with him every night for 1 year. I still have nightmares. And unlike Alex, I have not learned to trust again.
You know how they say “Once you are in Hell nothing else frightens you” It is true. I was there and I do not get intimidated by anything anymore. Alex and I are both fighters. We are survivors. If we made it through Hell we can make it through anything!
Even making this move. I knew it was the best thing for both of us but I thought the transition might be a little hard for him. However, I knew we would get through it. If we survived our horrific nightmare we would survive transition issues. Thankfully he has been so happy here since day one! I promise This will NEVER HAPPEN TO ALEX AGAIN! I WILL DO ANYTHING AND I REALLY MEAN ANYTHING TO MAKE SURE IT DOESN’T!! And I also promise I will make sure everybody will always treat him as the sweet, loving funny person he is!

AND WE AS A COMMUNITY NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT WHAT HAPPENED TO ALEX NEVER EVER HAPPENS TO ANYONE AGAIN!!!

REMEMBER, PEOPLE WITH DIFFERENT NEEDS ARE STILL PEOPLE AND DESERVE TO BE TREATED AS PEOPLE!!! NOBODY’S LIFE IS WORTHLESS BECAUSE THEY HAVE ANY KIND OF SPECIAL NEEDS!!!

And I don’t care who you are if I hear you say otherwise I will call you out on it every time!!!

THIS IS NOT A POLITICAL STATEMENT SO PLEASE DON’T MAKE IT ONE!
THIS IS A STATEMENT ABOUT PEOPLE PERIOD!!!
AND A STATEMENT ABOUT AUTISM AWARENESS AND ACCEPTANCE!!

ps. I cannot promise that this is my only Autism Post this month… so Buckle Your Seatbelts Kids!!

***Annette Scott & Sandi Fershtman – thank you for sharing and now let’s home we can touch the hearts of humanity (and medical professionals) to understand that Autism touches us all!

 

Supporting Each Other in Harmony

Well, it has been a whirlwind around here both in the house of the HALE family as well as newclevelandradio.net.  March is birthday month for both my husband and me, and I am exactly three weeks older than him almost to the minute.  Richard (my husband of thirty-five years,) is my best friend.  When you spend 35 years with someone as intimately as we have there are days when you hate (ok, dislike) the person you love.  We both have had our share of those days, but love in our case does conquer all!

In addition to birthday’s many of you know I have been battling the migraine issues again, and I am awaiting an appointment with a neurologist in April.  Not that I have wanted to wish March away but leaving the winter behind and finally getting the opportunity to find some answers for my headaches I will be glad to say good-bye to March (Madness.)

April looks exciting to me as the Cleveland Indians return on April 1st, for another fun season.  Although I am hoping for a winning one, I just enjoy the boys of summer, and I will not get into the politics of the game and players!  So let’s play ball!  Peanuts anyone?

In addition to baseball, newclevelandradio.net will be introducing a new show with local musician, comedian, and writer, Charlie Wiener.  Charlies is my favorite writer, and I am excited to say we will be discussing his books, his characters, who they truly are or are not and ask you our followers to read, listen and participate.

Also in the month to come, CARE NOTES with Doug Wilber from Cherished Companions returns.  New episodes on home care for the elderly, special needs, or even good old everyday assistance.  We have touched on this message in the past with so many of us living a fair distance from our loved ones, or unable to assist, businesses like Cherished Companions are a necessity, but they tend to do it as an award-winning organization.

Senior Moments will be returning as well, no official date has been set, but I understand Bradley and Heather Greene have a lot of new topics to cover as well as hear what is important to you.

My life is a blessing despite my migraines.  I am working with a variety of very interesting people, and every show delivers a message of hope with smiles, hugs, and friendship.  If we cannot provide a hand in person, we hope we are doing so virtually.

Our podcasts are now available on Spotify if you search the name of the podcast it will pop up for you or go to the page of the show to follow the link.  http://newclevelandradio.net/podcast-replays/

Happy Spring and let’s continue to support each other in harmony!

 

EVERY SUNDAY is a New DAY and YOUR BIRTHDAY

It is Sunday, for many considered a day of rest that may consist of sleeping late into the late morning or early afternoon hours.  Years ago, Sunday was my lazy day, waking up to a new week, brunching or lunching with my husband, running errands in joyous harmony to GOLD CIRCLE™, prior to the TARGET™, days.  We always found a bargain or two while picking up the essentials like toilet paper, napkins, laundry soap as well other fine household items we didn’t need.  As we sauntered through the aisles we knew at the end of this weekly journey we would take our stash home and realize we forgot the most important item of the week, but we never identified what that item was!

Remember Yesterday – Live for Today

Those were the days when we first bought the Sunday newspaper, The Plain Dealer™, and cut out the coupons and checked out what was on sale before we stepped inside the doors of our Sunday retreat.  The newspaper was more golden than the GOLD CIRCLE™.  The Sunday edition was packed full of fun stuff like the comics in living color, and Parade Magazine™ that was sure to have a story of fun-filled information for reading, not scanning.  That paper went to breakfast with us, and we staled out our time as did many weeding through the paper from the front page headlines to the comics, magazines, ads, and flyers.  Great articles appeared in The Plain Dealer™, Jane Scott, Michael Heaton, Connie Schultz, Terry Pluto, and my friend Chuck Yarborough, just to name a few.

“Sunday, Sunday here again in tidy attire
You read the color supplement, the TV guide”

Today, Sunday is just another day, working; as most of us have more than one job in today’s economic debacle.  I feel blessed as I am about to reach the big 69 tomorrow that I am able and capable to be on my feet supporting sales and earning a few extra dollars.  I do this because I have learned through my upbringing that we must continue to venture through life and not only adapt to changes but to change for the betterment without bitterness.  I may have been raised in the 50s and 60s with the voice of encouragement telling me that if I worked hard, I too would have a suburban home, two cars in the garage and much more than just a chicken in the pot.  However, to maintain all that I was encouraged to work hard for comes with a price.


Appreciating Yourself so Others will Too!

I could complain that as I reach this pinnacle in life that I am still scratching and clawing to build a better lifestyle (not necessarily all financial), that will allow me to live fully.  That lifestyle includes working on Saturday and Sunday and meeting new people and supporting their wants and needs providing guidance.  My weekend gig is much like my weekday life with newclevelandradio.net, I work with various individuals, and I am their guide and support in sharing their message, compassion, and life providing us all options on which fork in the road will lead us to Sunday, the first day of the week.


Treat Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday

As the Days to Love Yourself and Wish Yourself

A Happy Birthday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

Tomorrow
March 4th

 

I Could Blame Charlie Wiener

 

I could blame Charlie Wiener for the fact that I am wide awake at 4:33 a.m., on a Sunday morning. However, it is because of Charlie that I am filled with the enthusiasm that life provides.  I am cherishing his writings in, American Stories, just as I did in the sequel, Carrie Come to Me Smiling.

 

 

Like the character Kim, we all have lived a life that too often we look back on and say; it’s not enough; my existence means nothing.  We may think that everyone is succeeding while we are barely capable to tread water.  Our accomplishments whether little or big have been buried in the crevices of our brain and we do not acknowledge them.  Instead for many of us, myself include, spelled in all CAPITAL LETTERS, wake up one day and ask is this LIFE?

 

 

Sadly for some, they run away from all that they have created, accomplished, and achieved, and try to start anew.  The truth is we cannot run away from ourselves, but we can learn from the past and remold ourselves.  We, you and I are the designers of this moment in time.  Nothing will change for the better or worse unless we mold the clay, pick up a paintbrush and add some color to the landscape or sketch out the inner feelings that may be holding us back from appreciating the beauty of life.

 

 

Some people wait until an event in their life rings a bell and allows the freedom to choose.  The bell may be a lottery winning or a diagnosis of what we may refer to as “ill”-fate.  The reality is a lottery winning may cause other ill-fated issues, whereas a diagnosis of dying is something we all live with from the moment we are born.  For some the end comes sooner than for others, but, it is up to each of us to make the most of each day and to not squander it away.

 

Our world is filled with books that tell stories some are fictional others are based on facts, research, and emotional concepts.  Reading can provide us with inspiration and a road map.  The road map is not going to be a straight line; it will have curves and ups and downs and detours as well as roadblocks.  However, it is up to us as the intelligent life form to find our way, not allowing the walls to close in on us.

 

Kim, the character in American Stories is on a path collecting stories, and although the strangers she meets are as different from her as night is to day, there is a commonality.  The commonality is that we are all trying to find, the comfort of peace within ourselves so we may enjoy the beauty that surrounds us.  This is what empowers me to share my journey with you and to create a platform where we come together as different individuals finding our sameness.  Charlie has captured my soul in his writing; I feel as if he is writing about me as well as you!

 

Empower yourself to live.  It is Sunday, February 24th, 2019, do not waste another minute.  My dear friend, Norman Tischler lived life to the fullest.  The riches he recently left behind are the people whom he touched, whether with his music, his words, a bear hug, or just a look that said, “I love you!”  I now belong to a world of strangers who are friends by association and the enthusiasm of being part of the story!

American Stories = Life

As I read American Stories, by K. Adrian Zonneville, aka Charlie Weiner, I now know that these books were written for a much deeper purpose than Charlie will ever understand, nor will I.  You see, when I chose to really live my life, not just go through the motions, I became interested in helping others in a manner in which my future would be enriched.  Enrichment is not in the form of financial gain, although a little extra in the pocket and bank might provide a little less of a burden, the love and friendships I am adding into my experiences here on earth are much more valuable.

As a young child, from the age of 9 or 10 years old, I struggled with making friends and being accepted.  Just prior to puberty I became gawky and unsure of myself.  I wanted so much to be part of the IN GROUP I literally pushed myself out of the inner circles.  However, looking back with hindsight, I was not totally on the fringe, I was somewhere between the core and edge, and if I had known what empowerment was, I may be a different person today.

My desire to be part of the click ate at my soul and caused me many embittered thoughts that I carried on my back that weighed me down.  I allowed my pre-pubescent years to hold me in a place that was not safe.  I did creep out of that maze of feelings throughout my life, but I kept getting pulled back like I was tethered to that time.  However, within the last five years I cut the teether and have begun running through the maze of life with hands up over my head, and every once in a while you may actually hear my shouts of ‘Glee.’

Reading American Stories, I understand that my mission in life is to experience and guide and be guided.  I am no longer living with clouded eyes and heart, I am open to awareness, and that is what empowers me.  I have no guarantees as to what tomorrow will bring, but I have the control to make each moment my best.  I must continue to breathe in the life that guides me!

Difficult Roads – Beautiful Destinations

I have just begun reading, American Stories, by one of my newest favorite authors, Charlie Weiner, aka, K. Adrain Zonnerville.  It always takes me a chapter plus to get mesmerized by his storytelling and descriptions of life as seen and approached by his characters.  This morning, waking early, as usual, I picked up the book and began my day reading.  I stopped at the point when the main character identifies that she is a collector of sorts.  She collects stories!  I realized at that moment in time why this book as well as the sequel that I read first, speak to me.  I too am a collector, not of stories, but of people.

 

Don’t get nervous; I am not collecting people and keeping them bound up.  I am collecting people, like you, and me and encouraging them to live free, sing, dance, and express themselves in the medium that provides them joy.  I am not a Pollyanna and do not expect that happiness means never feeling sad, angry, unappreciated, or any negativity.  What I do expect at least from myself is to face each obstacle with as much positive energy to move around it or through it when the Wonder Woman in me pushes onward.

 

I have spent the better part of my almost 69 years trying to be like you, and I now know, I want to be me.  I once believed in the lyrics sung by Frank Sinatra, “All of me Come on get all of me Can’t you see I’m just a mess without you…”  Spending one’s life trying to fit in when you feel like the square peg in the round hole, is not living.  However, lessons can be learned, and one day you may wake up and become a collector of sorts.  As I gather new friends and revive relationships with old friends, I appreciate how precious life is.  It is a gift to follow our journey and share our experiences.  We are all guides in this amazing universe.

 

Although Carrie, the main character in American Stories may be dying, in reality, she is alive.  She teaches us that death does not have to destroy; it can be a lesson that teaches us how to fulfill dreams and appreciate each other.  By taking one step in front of another, we can create a path that provides us joy as we journey forward.

 

Join me here at newclevelandradio.net as we continue to podcast and provide you with opportunities.  Let us become empowered to appreciate our strengths!

Happy February 1, 2019

February has many fine meanings for me.  First, it’s the month before my birth month.  It’s a short month, and soon it will be Spring, that makes me smile a lot.  However, this month is full of challenges that could be obstacles.

Tomorrow, February 2nd, Puxatawney Phil sticks his head out of the ground, looks for his shadow, and always, without question announces six more weeks of winter.  Winter not being my favorite season, especially this past week with sub-zero temperatures, I am not to keen on listening to his premonition for the end of winter.

On February 3, 1984, my best friend, my partner, became my husband.  We had a private ceremony on that day.  Although we had every intention to marry, we married on that day to prove to a custody judge that our relationship was legitimate and retaining custody of my oldest son was appropriate.  Although this is a day to celebrate, we chose to have a wedding with all the trimmings in July of that same year, to share with friends and family, not for maintaining custody.  However, 20 years to the day, my POPs passed away.  Now that day and date are filled with a rush of emotions.  Additionally this year on said date, I will be attending a Memorial Service (Funeral) for a cherished musician who recently befriended me.

February 4 for most of my life was a great day, my favorite cousin, Gloria celebrated her birthday just four weeks prior to mine.  As soon as I was old enough to send her cards or call her to wish her a happy day, my yearly routine included this very special girl.  In my mind, she will always be the cute petite cousin who I looked up to with respect and so much love.  Sadly, my Gloria passed away just weeks before my mother in 2016.  I am blessed to still be in touch with her children and grandchildren keeping that connection alive and bright.

February 14th has never been special in my past.  I was not the young girl in high school or college with boys or a boy sending me flowers, and or professing love for me.  Although my husband of 35 year treats me special every day, Valentine’s Day is just another day in our lives.  Rich refuses to be nice to me for just one day!  (I am blessed.)

One reason I loved this short month is that my mother was a Leap Year Baby.  It became a standing joke that not only was my mother shorter than all of her children; she was also younger in birthdays!  When mom died on October 11, 2016, she was 96 in years but 24 in Birthdays.  (Don’t worry, we never let her go a year without a celebration, she enjoyed birthday wishes on the 28th of February and the 1st of March.)

So as this month begins I will face it head-on.  Each day is another step closer to my favorite seasons, Spring, Summer & Fall.  Join me in sharing memories that will warm us adding sunshine and smiles into our lives.  We are not guaranteed a future, that is why we must live in the present!

 

The Empowerment Journey

If you leave in Cleveland, Ohio or any other Midwest or Northern state having a snowstorm is not unusual this time of year.  It’s funny, growing up in Detroit, Michigan, we had a lot of snow in the winter. much more than what we have today, and yet we never stopped.  But many of us here are hunkered down.  My Beetle will not make it out of the garage the snow is so deep, and my condo sub-division has no idea when we will get plowed.  Alex’s car is under siege by the snow, and there is a layer of ice under the snow.  I guess back in the day we had warmer clothing, studs on our tires and a STUDDLY BURLY guy in our home or down the block who was always available and able to shovel someone out.  I’m not complaining but sharing how soft so many of us have become, myself included.

Four years ago I fell on the ice during the winter and broke my femur requiring surgery and two weeks in rehab.  I refuse to put myself in that same position. Therefore I am willing to be soft!  But with softness comes empowerment and my theme for today is empowering myself to accept what is!  When we empowered we give ourselves the opportunity to become stronger and more confident in our choices.  For me, I am making choices that make me happy without contributing to someone else’s unhappiness.

A special thanks to Candace Pollock of the Intentionality Gurus,  Candace has guided me through her bi-weekly podcast with newclevelandradio.net to listen to my overactive brain and allow my heart and soul to respond, if necessary.  The words, “if necessary” is my personal mantra, not everything is necessary just because my thoughts dictate it at the moment.[i]

Katie the Carlady soon to be podcasting with newclevelandradio.net.  Katie will be bringing coffee and cars to our venue.  Katie’s backstory has been a journey that has led her to be an influential individual for many, and many of those individuals may never have met her.  She is full of energy and brings out the best in others.  I have only known Katie for a year, and yet I am mesmerized by her.  For the first time in my life I am not wishing to be her, but to capture her dynamism and light my drive.

CANCER SUCKS, and I hope I will never have to experience the cobblestone path Melinda has traveled.  However, she brightens my smile and my approach to health and wellness.  Melinda posts Facebook Live moments regarding the “Heart Mojo,” the spirit and words she will share in her upcoming podcasts in February!  Melinda as well as Katie, and Candace will be joining me in a new venture that kicks off this Wednesday night.

Please join us, Wednesday, January 23rd, 2019, at Vista Springs, Greenbriar, in Parma, Ohio.  We will be hosting a Meet & Greet for women and men that have a story (personal journey) to share that will enlighten the lives of others.  It’s time for each one of us to shed the angst from the fall out around us and seek a path that will allow us to live with heart.  We must let our heart and soul fill our brain with the peace and lightness we all deserve.  Please feel free to join us at 6 pm – 8:30 pm where Vista Springs will host the event, bringing us together for the “Empowerment Journey.”

The “Empowerment Journey,” this is your chance to share, learn, and be the person you want to be. 

[i] (https://www.spreaker.com/show/the-intentionality-gurus-with-candace-2018) & (https://www.spreaker.com/show/the-intentionality-gurus-candace-2019)

 

It’s a New Year with Some New Podcasts

2019 will be bringing you some new podcasts as well as a return of, Senior Moments with Bradley & Heather Greene.  We are waiting with great anticipation to welcome them back after a hiatus.

Katie O’Toole Smith will be joining newclevelandradio.net, sharing the message that “all things are possible!”  It’s more than a saying or a spiritual belief.  “If you give up it means you never tried,” and with the support of others, there is no reason not to try!  (First show is scheduled for Thursday, February 14, 2019, @ 6 pm EST)

Melinda Smith will share thoughts on positivity and not in a cheesy condescending way, but woman-to-woman, person-to-person.  It’s not about right or wrong; it’s about facing challenging and creating new opportunities.  As Helen Kellet stated, “Although the world is  full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.”  (First show is scheduled for Monday, February 11, 2019, @ 6 pm EST) MY HEART MOJO

It is this poem by Edgar Guest that my pops repeatedly quoted that encourages me to face each challenge as an opportunity!

Somebody said that it couldn’t be done
But he with a chuckle replied
That “maybe it couldn’t,” but he would be one
Who wouldn’t say so till he’d tried.
So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin
On his face. If he worried he hid it.
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn’t be done, and he did it!
Somebody scoffed: “Oh, you’ll never do that;
At least no one ever has done it;”
But he took off his coat and he took off his hat
And the first thing we knew he’d begun it.
With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,
Without any doubting or quiddit,
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn’t be done, and he did it.
There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,
There are thousands to prophesy failure,
There are thousands to point out to you one by one,
The dangers that wait to assail you.
But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,
Just take off your coat and go to it;
Just start in to sing as you tackle the thing
That “cannot be done,” and you’ll do it.

Proud to Announce on this Day 1 January 2019

I am so proud to share that my oldest son, Steve Rogovin, he is now a part owner in a new restaurant in Chicago.  “Brothers and Sisters.”  https://www.chicagotribune.com/dining/ct-food-brothers-and-sisters-opening-soon-20181018-story.html

Steve is also a practicing attorney with the law firm, MPSLaw in Chicago.

If you find yourself in the Chicago area, please check out, “Brothers and Sisters.” Brothers and Sisters, 2119 W. Chicago Ave., www.brothersandsisters.fun