Daily Comments 2020
My poor family and friends, I’m not a real patient person. I was brought up by parents that taught me to be ahead of the timeline, procrastinating was not an option. Everything was prioritized as most important so before the term multi-tasking became a usable term, we all multi-tasked. Although I have worked on slowing down and appreciate the sunshine, smiles, laughter, and solitude, I still jump in with two feet and my whole body is encompassed in the task(s). Time is very definitive in my life while many others often don’t even know what day of the week it is let alone what the time of day is. For me, if it’s not on my calendar and laid out in bits and pieces, my routine becomes hazardous and that will reflect on how I respond to my responsibilities. So I Have Been A DO IT NOW PERSON!
I am working on patience with myself and others and I am getting better, but I sometimes imposed my standards on others and that is not fair. However, what I think is fair is for individuals to be open about their expectations and using a word from yesterday, collaborate on how your differences can be utilized in a successful manner. Without communication we make assumptions and we all know what is said about assuming. I have no intention of making an ASS out of U and Me!
Today I am going to focus on being mindful which will slow me down me step one to being patient with myself and others.
Mindfulness will allow me to observe before reacting and when I do react, I will do so with true intentions, not expectations that often lead to frustration.
My decision making will be thoughtful and not reactive, calming my anxiety and that of others.
This is not an overnight change, it will take time and practice, but it is my word to a healthier tomorrow, PATIENCE.
My word for the day is S K E P T I C A L
Being skeptical is not a negative word, it is a positive term. To be skeptical means you are not easily convinced, you may have doubts and reservations. We can agree to work together even when we don’t agree. It is not about compromise it is about collaboration. Let me give a very personal example. I like a well-maintained home, I contribute to cleaning and organizing 85% of our house. My husband and son collaborate with me, we work together to keep all common areas neat, clean and maintained. My son’s room is kept in the manner in which he is most comfortable, and occasionally I may enter the room to tidying it up to my specifications, but within his comfort zone. My husband’s home office has been taken over by the studio and newclevelandradio work site. Since my husband is a collector of things this room is not designed in my image but we work together to make the studio copasetic.
I am skeptical when it comes to believing that my family members like living in chaos, what I have accepted is that it is difficult for them not create this environment and it makes them who they are. However, we have collaborated on what works for us despite the doubts we may each have.
I am skeptical when people find it imperative to say, “it’s my way or the highway!” We all have opinions and those thoughts and ideas are necessary for us to learn and grow and enrich our lives. Why does someone believe they are Right when others are Wrong? Isn’t time to all skepticism bring us together to agree to disagree?
My Word for the Day is Content!
What does content mean to you? For me, it is more than just being satisfied. I am happy and accepting of where I am today. This journey in life is not always satisfying, causing discontentment at times, but the moments of contentment are to be cherished and remembered no matter how big or small they may be. Memories can take us down a path that either brightens our smile or creates a frown of sadness on our lips. Both are necessary for us to find true happiness.
Happiness does not mean you are 100% perfect in your thoughts and feelings; however, it can lead you to that comfortable hug with or without human touch. We have the power to create that internal process that induces satisfaction.
Not everyone can get to this “destination” without taking a step in the direction. To make that first step, we must want to find that inner peace that ignites our endorphins with pleasant feelings leading to that sense of contentment. Please do not say it’s impossible because the word impossible really means I’M POSSIBLE. When you repeat that word in this manner, “I’m Possible,” then, and only then will you find your inner peace, which will allow you to be content.
MY Word for the Day DOIT
My DO IT List
- Wake up with my husband at 5 am and help him prepare for his day at work
- Emails with potential podcasters
- Extra today – remove tarnish from silverware – it’s overdue
- Shower and Dress for the Day
- Take a 5 – 10-minute break
- Work on JFTSOI.com website
- Write Blog for newclevelandradio.net
- Podcast with Hilarities – comedian Mike Vecchione
- Post and social media podcast
- Run personal errands
- Take a 5 -10-minute break
- Call to potential podcaster
- Prepare information for What in the World with Paul Seaburn
- 2 -4 record two sessions with new podcaster PaulSaul
- Post and social media podcast
- 6:30 podcast with Katie the Carlady and her guest
- Post and social media podcast
Candace Pollock, https://www.spreaker.com/show/the-intentionality-gurus-candace-2018-20, recommended an exercise for me as well as those listening to the podcasts that making a To-Do List allows us to focus on what is necessary for us to complete in a time frame and feel accomplished. Although my list for today is only eighteen items, I know I will add more as the day progresses because nothing in life is consistent, there is always that little something that appears as a must-do, or I want to do, or should I do.
My word for today is actually two words, a phrase, “Do It!) It refers to any task you want to achieve, including rest, play, and work. Although I may have appointments on my calendar for today does not mean that is all that is planned there is always something else. Take for example yesterday, I had a meeting at 3 pm at Panera and a scheduled podcast back here in the studio at 5 pm. In order to achieve those to items sufficiently, I added in purchase take-out dinner at Panera to give me the time I needed to complete my day. However, a glitch in my system, changed the take-out menu I brought home to going out to east when my workload was completed at 7 pm. Although a much-needed dinner out, it changed my To-Do List, and that is something I have to learn how to embrace.
I have shared over the years of writing and podcasting I am a do it now person, but I am learning to take the do it now and tune it down to do it (when). Last night I put the takeout food in the fridge, went out to dinner, and tonight last night’s menu will be served. The point I am trying to make if for some reason you have not read into it is the list of tasks provides me with a map just if I were on a treasure hunt. Once completed I win the prize, the pleasure and peace of mind that I am accomplished!
My word for the day is self-conscious but not in the negative connotation. Often when that term is used, we think of someone insecure in their own skin. In fact, for most of my life, that was a pretty good definition of me. I would never have thought I would wake up someday and look in the mirror and see my inner beauty. While striving to be a good person and making others happy, I compared myself to others and saw their beauty and my flaws. My first recollection of feeling insecure I was only ten or eleven years old, my body still growing but not as shapely as I had hoped to be as I developed into a teenager. A friend of the family who was a year older had similar body issues, and our shared pediatrician put her on diet pills and voila, she was noticed. I asked my mother if Dr. Birnbaum would do the same for me, and without hesitation, she made me an appointment. Well, the miracle pill did not turn me into the svelte young woman I wanted to be as I stumbled into years of feeling less than others. Without much more detail, I will say my negative internal talk started at an early age and continued well in my adulthood.
Your mother and father, aunts, uncles, and cousins may tell you, you are pretty. However, you may interpret those words with a “but” at the end. Growing up in the 50s and 60s, there were so many “beautiful” role models, and yet I allowed myself to compare my hair to theirs, my eyes, lips, and all parts external, including my clothing and makeup. Sadly, I felt that I was falling short and not by a little but a lot.
I realized how much time I wasted feeling less desirable, and this became paramount in my life this week. I may have mentioned that I have started back on Facebook Live to share my word of the day and fulfill my growth and maturity. Selfishly I am doing this for me to focus on the good; however, if it helps one person in addition to myself, I have added value to this world. I would love to see children growing up with a positive sense of self.
When I dressed and showered on Monday and applied my makeup, I felt good about me. However, a cousin who watched the video suggested that I change the color of lipstick, her opinion was it was not becoming. I took her suggestion, why not, and used a brighter, darker hue yesterday. From the moment I applied it, I felt uncomfortable but chose to step out of my comfort zone. After recording my Facebook live, I thought about wiping off the lipstick, but I didn’t. Writing about this and discussing it on FB live, a very good friend started sending me websites that might help me adapt new makeup technics. I had opened myself up to people offering advice, and I realized that this was said and submitted in kindness.
However, the bottom line is I may apply some changes, and I may not because I am pleased with who I am. I am turning the word self-conscious into a positive term to mean I am conscious of myself.
Accept me for who I am!
Forgiveness is essential if we are going to create a community of peace and awareness. I once was a grudge holder, and all that did for me is make me sad, anxious, and depressed. I typically held in those unforgiving feelings until I needed to bring them out and attempt to prove I was right, and someone else was wrong. The problem with that was those thoughts festered deep inside of me and changed in color, texture, and meaning. When I spewed them back out, it was like I was talking in tongues, and not only did I not understand my anger, it created deep wounds where it should have been a calming touch.
Forgiveness is not a matter of right or wrong, it identifies that you/me are willing to agree to disagree while finding the common thread that brings us together. To be capable of forgiveness, we must accept our personal faults and values. It takes strength to admit to the errors of our ways, but it can bring a calming, soothing effect from the tips of our toes to the top of our heads.
Create a bond with yourself and learn to like you, and others will follow.
My word for the day is cognizant. I chose it based on a conversation my brother Gary, and I had during the recording of his podcast. Being aware of your surroundings is essential; watching where you make your next step may stop you from walking in “shit.” The word “shit” as a noun means feces or do-do. It also is a term for a mean and useless person. Keeping our eyes open and looking in all directions can provide us with a broader range of opportunities.
When we are open to new ideas and experiences, our world expands. Life is no longer one-sided; it is dimensional. Having dimensions in our lives provides us depth and additional substance broadening our abilities and providing us the tools to the person we want to be.
It has taken me a long time some sixty-plus years to become comfortable in my own skin. It is never too late for you!
Most recently, I have met several women who have turned my sense of self around. When I was younger, I would have thought these same women were out of our league. However, there is no league! F-those clicks and ratings we put on other people for being smarter, prettier, more accomplished, etc. Beauty is skin deep; the sad part is most of us are hiding behind a mask of make-up (clothing) that we see first and make that terrible assumption of whether that person is perfect or not. To become precise, one must go through a series of mistakes. We learn from the errors we make, and often from a mistake, an invention is born. Make yourself that invention if that is what you chose.
I’m not sure why I allowed myself to live with insecurities that kept me down, but I refuse to do it anymore. Life is an adventure meant to be experienced, and experience does not depend on wealth or having a significant other. I am blessed I have my best friend as my significant other (husband). Come February 3, 2020; we will celebrate thirty-six years of marriage. The secret to that is communication, and when we are misunderstood, it is not time to give up, misunderstanding is the opportunity to get it right.
I ‘m determined to get it right!
Saturday, January 11, 2020
When even the simplest changes in our lives occur, it can throw us off track or even worst feeling unbalanced. However, nothing stays the same. You may believe your lifestyle is routine and monotonous, no two days are exactly alike. Sometimes we need to heighten our awareness to notice the nuances that make living unique.
For a little over a year and a quarter, I was holding down a part-time weekend IT Rep assignment. In addition to the weekend hours, I spent an hour plus each week training and re-training myself on technologies that would assist me in being the best (or better) at my job. In addition to the work itself, I enjoyed the interaction with the consumers. Even the customers that may have been rude or refused to accept my knowledge since “I was only a woman.” The millennial staff at the store kept me feeling young as they received me as one of their peers. You can learn a lot from young people, even things you wished you knew nothing about! (LOL)
This is the second weekend I’m not working, and I am feeling lost. I had a routine of sorts, and now I am trying to fill the void. I am not trying to make things happen, in fact, thanks to Candace Pollock, The Intentionality Gurus, https://www.spreaker.com/show/the-intentionality-gurus-candace-2018-20, I have been coached and guided. The guidance leads me to think now before I leap and to be aware of the change and embrace it, even if it hurts. Once we become more mindful of who we are and what we want, then and only then can we make the best choices. If we are not cognizant and sense those feelings from the inside out, we may not fulfill our needs (and wants.)
Requirements are a necessity like nourishment and safety. However, for most humans, that is not enough as we can dream and create visions of what we want. We may wish to live in a Mansion, but we may only need a one-bedroom home. It is our dreams, and the focus to make those dreams reality is what may take us from that one-bedroom home to a larger home getting us closer to what we want. Each step forward is a success, but only if it genuinely makes you happy if you are not satisfied, it may be time to reevaluate and seek a more intimate awareness. Mindfulness!
To be mindful is to pay attention to our thoughts. There is no right or wrong (except in the case of hurting another or breaking the law.) Even if the next task you approach is difficult, and you cannot complete it on your own, it is OK to ask for guidance or assistance. Accepting the fact that no one is perfect at all things is allowing yourself to receive yourself for what you know and what you don’t.
If you are like me, you may have grown-up learning you needed to get perfect or near-perfect scores on your tests in school. For many like myself, this fear of not being excellent created average or below-average scores for me. The stress of having to have the correct answers somehow caused me to lack confidence, and all I remember from my younger school days is the phrase, YOU ARE WRONG! Sadly, I was not taught how to turn a negative into a positive, and I did a lot of downhill spiraling. However, it’s never too late to turn that around, and I have. I found my niche being mindful even before it was something discussed. I learned to reach for the happy moments and the things that shine happiness upon me.
So, despite the changes I have experienced most recently, I am looking through open eyes and turned up hearing aids for the next idea that leads me down yet another path in this journey called life.
Wednesday, 8 January 2020
This morning I am taking a few minutes to reflect, and I hope you will indulge me.
In 2012 I took a lateral promotion at the college where I was working. I move from one campus to another with the hopes and beliefs that this was my stepping-stone. However, I sensed from the first day I settled into my new office that a change of scenery may not have been the answer. From day one, I struggled to fit in, and I worked harder each day. I took on my tasks plus those of others, believing that this would prove that I was indispensable. Today I can look back and, with hindsight, realize this was a huge mistake. Within months I developed anxiety that I had never experienced before. Getting on the highway to drive to work took continuous self-talk that I was OK while my heart pounded as I visualized myself dying in an accident, not my fault! My direct manager at the time was a previous co-worker of mine who was almost a third of my age, and she treated me as if I was a child, at least that was my perception. Without TMI, there was no way I could explain to her or others what I was going through. I wasn’t sure I knew myself. I continued to demand more of myself and put those expectations on others, and this led to my illness, in name, DEPRESSION.
In February of 2014, I broke down. I was pathetic; I could not look at myself in the mirror. I could not go back into an environment that was toxic to me. It doesn’t matter if I made it toxic or the expectations of others for me created this situation, but I knew I needed a change. I wasn’t afraid to admit my weakness and get help from a doctor and create a lifestyle change with my family. I knew if I didn’t do this, I would die a prolonged anxious death going more in-depth into depression. I put myself in the hands of health professionals, and I went through a series of them until I found myself, and I have chosen to stay in their care to remain mentally healthy. Finding the right medical team to work with is essential. I knew the journey was mine, and although I needed guidance, I had to take the lead with their helping hands.
I will always be in recovery like any addiction, anxiety, and depression are mine. When I try to prove myself, I work so hard to be YOU that I leave ME behind, and I develop anger, which leads to depression. Since I have lived the majority of life in this manner, it felt natural even though it hurt and made me cry inside and out. I was a crier, today…not so much. Sappy movies bring me to tears, and real loss and change make me cry, but I don’t walk around with a black cloud over my head anymore. I look for the sun shining in the background, and I allow it to creep into my brain and visualize the inner beauty in all that surrounds me.
I have chosen to share this today as we will be beginning a new podcast series, “Sherapy,” and I will be the first patient/client to go through this session. I am excited because I know I am going to learn so much more about myself as I peel back the layers of the onion. Since 2014 I have come along way — that bleak February. I thought I was lost forever. When asked what I wanted to do going forward, I felt I had no other solution than to return to the college where I was working. The more I thought about that; I would decline in my recovery. However, trying to reinvent your self at the age of 63 initially felt impossible until my son reminded me, I was still only 39, I was just going to celebrate the 25th anniversary of my 39th year.
With my newly earned college degree and graduate studies in Communications, I turned to blogging and from blogging podcasting. I recreated myself to the person I could admire. This new Karen was not afraid to make mistakes; she was going to learn from them as they came along. This was when I knew I was healing, but to remain healthy, I must be open, share, and express myself. When I look in the mirror today, I see a warrior or, as Amy Ferris calls women like me, a Shero!
January 7, 2020, It was almost Pneumonia and because of that – we did not roll out our new shows yesterday, January 6th! The Fing Cold was much more and I was hoping and praying it wasn’t but a trip to the doctor was what I needed to knock some sense into me. Do not take a cold or flu lightly as it can turn deadly. If I had waited an extra day or two I would be in the hospital with Pneumonia. However, 2 days on antibiotics and I am almost back to normal, however, I am working at a slower pace. This was a glaring reminder to me that I must take care of me. My family tries but when you have two men in your life and they have been catered to, to a degree or more, they often do not see beyond the tip of their noses. They love me and mean well, but they often believe that if they just leave me alone, I will get better! (Didn’t they even notice the laundry was cared for, and the dishwasher run and dishes put away, along with make my own meals?) Ok, it’s my own DAMN fault and when I begin “Sherapy” with Sherry Amatenstein on her podcast we will address the issue. I also will discuss this subject with Candace Pollock on “The Intentionality Gurus,” between therapy and personal coaching I will get this down!
January 4, 2020, No Fing Cold will Stop Me
Well here it is the first weekend of the new year; a new decade and I am fighting a cold. My husband had this not so wonderful virus that he passed off to me, he was sick over Christmas and into New Years and I’ve been brewing for a couple of days. I can only hope that this runs its course quickly as I refuse to feel so DAM Fing Crappy!
Monday, January 6th we begin to roll out some new shows. The first is Sherapy an online podcast therapy session. Our host Sherry Amatemstein (https://newclevelandradio.net/sherapy-real-therapy-with-sherry-amatenstein-3/) will seek out individuals like myself that want to work through issues, sharing their stories and her guidance over a series of live recorded podcasts. Individuals may remain anonymous or be an open book as I have offered to do. I am excited to participate in this podcast venture and watch it grow for Sherry and those who join us along the journey of introspection.
Also on the 6th, I will reintroduce you to Michael Gershe, the founder of The Magic Of Life Foundation and author of ‘The Magic of Life: A Son’s Story of Hope after Tragedy, Grief and a Speedo ‘ Michael and I will explore not only his life but the impact he has made on others and we will invite those he has touched to participate in this monthly podcast. Make sure you have a box of tissue handy, but also note Michael does stand-up comedy so he will also make you laugh. Michael participates in the “Don’t forget to laugh” Comedy series that is part of Heart Mojo with Melinda Smith.
Speaking of Melinda, she will begin our 2020 season with Heart Mojo and her guest, Kelli M Davis. Kelli is a Metastatic Breast Cancer Survivor. Melinda will share Kelli’s journey with me and you as we grow the Heart Mojo Podcast now bi-weekly. Also, look for a second podcast Melinda and I will be hosting together, “Are You Ready For The Future?”
On Thursday of last week, Carlady Talk with Katie the Carlady changed her podcast name from Coffee and Cars with Katie the Carlady. Since most people identify Katie as the Carlady we are leading off with that. I am so proud of Katie for taking the next step to grow this program as she has so many wonderful connections that will help us all become better educated in purchasing, leasing, or renting a car. We all need to get from point A to B and if you live in a city like Cleveland, Ohio public transportation is not the best solution. So when you need a car or must maintain your vehicle, or finance it and get the best insurance coverage for your needs, this is a podcast that will empower you! https://www.spreaker.com/show/carlady-talk-with-katie-the-car-lady
This is just the beginning as What in the World with Paul Seaburn (https://www.spreaker.com/show/what-in-the-world-with-paul-seaburn_1) returns on Tuesday, January 7th and we will be broadcasting from the newclevelandradio.net studios. We have some big plans for this show, and we are looking for sponsors. We are very lucky to have Paul with us as he has been in the comedy business for eons, and he once was a staff writer for Jay Leno, as well as other fine comics. Please contact me for more information firstname.lastname@example.org
January 1, 2020 TRADITIONS
Just as New Year’s Eve is celebrated by tradition for many, so is January 1st, New Year’s Day. When I met my husband in the early 80s, he informed me that it was good luck to eat pork and sauerkraut on the 1st day of the year. Although I didn’t question him out loud, I wondered, even to this day, what happens to those individuals for religious or dietary restrictions do not eat pork? Ok, so it was his family’s tradition, and my family didn’t have a special meal, dance or ritual on this day, except to watch FOOTBALL, like the U of Michigan, as I am today. Since I don’t keep a kosher home and I enjoy the taste of pork, I use his mother’s recipe, and I make a pork tenderloin and sauerkraut bake with a roux (pronounced “roo,”) sauce.
What I do for my family today I do because I want to, not because I must. I have spent too many years doing what I thought I had to do to please others, so in return, they would like me. However, that did not work well for me as I spent much of my life resenting others as I attempted to make them smile while inside, I was filling up with tears. Recently I shared with Sherry Amatenstein, of Sherapy, that I was known as a cry baby in my family. It is only through self-reflection that I now realize those tears I shed were the identification of myself. I wanted to be the person everyone liked, and yet I didn’t like myself. I tried so hard to be someone I wasn’t that I caused my emotional havoc. Since I now recognize this about myself, I am looking forward to the first session of Sherapy on Monday, January 6th, when I openly participate in a therapy session via podcast. Future participants in this podcast may share their stories with Sherry anonymously. I have chosen to be an open book because I want to face my issues and not hide behind the truth. I like myself now, and I am anxiously looking forward to where this journey will take me. If I can assist just one person with my stories, I will have made the right choice.
My wish for you is that 2020 leads you to find your truths and happiness. Know that each day will not be perfect, and sometimes you will smile, as well as shed some tears. You will not agree with all you hear, but you will be aware of the differences and accept others as you want them to acknowledge you as well. This can be a year that brings us peace and happiness even with the imperfections and flaws that will accompany it. It is up to us make our heart swell with sunshine whether we keep the flames of a tradition burning or ignite new ones that will enlighten us all.