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I’ve been home about 36 hours and I am trying to catch up. Leaving Alex yesterday was not easy, we both agreed the time I spent with him was needed, and not just for his recuperation from surgery. Although I am his mother, being in his home made me take a step back. I did help him get organized something he’s been trying to do since he moved in December, but with work, Christmas break, and returning after the holidays ill, he just never got his things in order.
I respected his need for privacy, and he respected my efforts to keep him comfortable and on the road to wellness. Knowing that he still has a few weeks before he will be feeling more normal, I had to return home and leave him to sail his ship.
Sometimes as parents we tend to jump in and do the work for our kids and then one day, they have a problem, and they don’t know how to handle it. However, Alex has been observing us all these years and he is navigating his ship, steering away from the ice burgs. As a mom observing her child who is a young adult live on his own and prosper is a warm feeling of well done!
I think my fatigue is catching up with me and a good night’s sleep is needed. Tonight, when I lay my head on my pillow I know my sweet dreams will include both of my sons and my husband who are very special to me.
Good night, Rich…
Good night, Steve
Good night, Alex
“you are my sunshine…”
15 April 2023
I tell people all the time how amazing they are because each one of us is amazing in our rights. However, for most of my life even when I thought I was amazing I did not believe it. In fact for years, any good or great ideas I had I would link to someone else taking the backseat (just in case I was wrong). No I was placing on someone if it went wrong in fact I often stepped up taking the blame…
I have worked with therapists many times over the years trying to find that feel good place in my life and after weeks or months of therapy I found them showing me the door because they believed I had found that space in my life. Little did they know, I didn’t.
Coaching has helped me find the answers I need for the questions and doubts I have. I’ve learned to brush off the negative voices in my head and listen to the pain and confusion they represent and use new skillsets to muffle their voices. (‘In Positive Intelligence, Shirzad Chamine helps you achieve your true potential in life and work by shifting your inner balance of power.’) I will be recommending this program to all my clients. It continues to help me balance my thoughts and actions to reflect the person I am choosing to be.
If you sign up for a coaching 6 week session with me I will assist you in finding yourself. You will be doing the work, I will provide you with tools that will help you today and into the future. These tools will assist you in creating a mindset that reflects your wants and needs. If I am not the ‘right’ coach for you I will provide you with contacts with other coaches that may specialize in the area of life you want to work on.
To benefit from coaching you must be vulnerable, be honest with yourself and your coach. What is said in a coaching session is confidential. I will share my stories with you as well and just as I will respect your privacy, I expect the same in return.
Until the second week of July I have a special introductory fee for a 6 week coaching session, feel free to contact me at email@example.com
A week ago, last night my son, Alex, called me crying in pain. Just thirty minutes earlier he and I were kibitzing on the phone. Initially he was incoherent, and I had to just listen and soothingly ask him to slow down. He described his pain that suddenly hit him as the worst GAS pain he ever had. I tried using my coaching skills to help him through this. Unfortunately, he had nothing at home to take for GAS pain!
I suggested he call EMS. I may be “doctor-mom” at home, but I’m not a doctor. He suffered for 12 hours before he called EMS. Once in the ER they aggressively attempted to identify the pain source and quickly ruled out any heart issues despite the pain across his chest. However, the ultrasound pointed to his gallbladder, and yet they continued to run tests to confirm it was gallbladder, and they finally gave him morphine to mask the pain. The surgeon came in around 6 pm (21 hours after this pain started) and discussed removing his gallbladder.
My husband and I searched for airline tickets to take us from Cleveland to Dallas so we could be there with Alex. Leaving Cleveland at 7 am we got to Dallas by 10:30 and went directly to the hospital to find Alex waiting for surgery. They finally took him into surgery at 1:30 pm, and the plan was to do a robotic gall bladder removal that would be less invasive. However, the doctor found his gallbladder to be 2 to 3 times its size filled with stones, the gallbladder was ripe to burst and if it had it could have been fatal! So, a one-hour procedure turned into 3 hours.
Alex’s dad left for home on Tuesday morning, and I am here in Fort Worth until Sunday morning. Each day he shows signs of healing and taking less pain medication as well.
I’ve had this great opportunity to spend time with my son in his home which has limited furnishings which has tested my ability to get comfortable on an air bed and sitting on a patio type chair. But all is good, and I enjoy his company when he is not sleeping, tweeting, or playing a video game.
Today we took a UBER to his office so he could organize his arrangements to work from home for at least the next week. At his office today not one person, but everyone I met shared their love for Alex. Until today, the staff only knew he was sick but would be OK, his boss and HR knew the extent of it. So, as he shared his story of what has transpired in the last week, they were all so glad to know he really would be OK, and pleased to see that I was around to help him through this week.
When Alex left our home in December to drive the 1000 miles to Texas I cried like a baby, and thought my heart was broken forever. However, as any parent knows when your child leaves to follow their dreams, time will prove that your heart will heal. My heart began the healing process with each phone call hearing his voice and sharing his experiences.
However, the night of Wednesday, April 5th brought me the emotional pain Alex was suffering physically. Although I insisted, he call EMS he was choosing to suffer rather than go to the hospital and as he said, spend money… All I could 1000 miles away was attempt to comfort him as he asked me to stay on the phone with him, hoping the pain would subside. Tonight, I feel such relief that my son is healing and prospering. He is where he should be, creating his career path and living life on his own. Now I realize his father and I taught him well, and I am proud of the man he is, even without a gallbladder!