February 3, what this date means to me.
Forty years ago on February 3, 1984, Rich and I got married by Rabbi Eisenberg (May he REST in PEACE), witnessed by friends Debbie and Dave. Although I had been living with Rich since 1982, and we talked about marriage it was extremely important for me that when he asked and I said, “YES”, it would be for life.
I came into our relationship with what is often termed as baggage. I had been divorced for almost 2 years and I had custody of my son from that marriage who was almost 5 years old. I was living in Cincinnati when we met and Rich lived in Peninsula, Ohio, a 5-hour drive that I took every couple of weeks leading up to moving in, in 1982. We made the long-distance relationship work so moving in was the next step.
We became an instant family, accepted by his parents and his friends. However, we faced numerous obstacles including the cost of transportation so my son (Steve) could visit his father. Rich was involved from the get-go, but it started to take a toll on our relationship. Soon after we settled in my ex-husband was not happy about our new living relationship and this soon turned into a custody issue dragging us all through the court system. Although the court continued to grant me custody, on February 8, 1984, we were scheduled to go to court and face the judge. My attorney at the time suggested if we wanted to retain custody, we should get married. This led to our marriage in the Rabbi’s study on February 3, 1984.
Rich and I agreed to go through the formality, however I did not want to get married until this issue was resolved. Since I did not have that choice, we agreed to silently get married, if it didn’t work, we said we would end it in the future or plan another wedding that would include family and friends. Yes, we won custody in court after spending a lot of money (well worth it for my son), we returned home and decided to plan a summer wedding and we chose the date, July 15th.
Yes, this year we will be married for forty-years twice, does that mean we have been married for 80 years????
Now let’s talk about marriage. I am grateful for my first marriage as my son Steve is a gift from that union. Although I initially blamed his father for not (never) loving me, time has healed those wounds as I realize we were young when we met and got married and we were so different from each other that those differences divided us and created what now I see as a toxic marriage. I have learned so much over the years and acknowledge the divorce was needed for us to find our personal happiness. My son’s father and his wife will also be celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary this year.
When I met my husband, Rich, I realized for me that the second time was the charm. I married my best friend, and I became his lover and go to person. It has not been easy, we have faced numerous challenges and we have tripped over the obstacles, but even when we have stumbled and fell, we got up and brushed ourselves off and kissed and made-up.
Kissing and making up doesn’t mean you have to give up your opinion and turn your differences into a mutual like, it’s ok to be different and not always OK with each other.
Rich and I made it through a custody issues, two weddings in one year, and bringing family and friends together to accept our union even when some said it would not last. (Thank you all for the challenge but somehow, we have made it.)
Rich and I struggled having a child, many rounds of IVF that we were told would be covered by my insurance only to find out that they weren’t, and we had a billed of $40,000+ to pay. Three plus years of dreaming, hoping, and praying, and a miscarriage, in December 1989 we were finally pregnant. (This pregnancy almost didn’t happen, the night before the insemination, I was molested by a doctor.) With the love and support of my husband and my OB/GYN I went through the procedure because we knew it was the right decision.
Not easy getting pregnant, and not an easy pregnancy. Sick for the first three months, and Braxton-Hicks’s contractions for the last three months, we brought Alex into the World in August 1990. And all went well for the first 30 days until our baby became violently ill and underwent abdominal surgery. When we brought him home all went well for 6 years. At six Alex was diagnosed with Autism/Aspergers and faced the challenges of what Special Needs meant.
Alex made us better and stronger as we did our best, adjusting when needed, and allowing him and us to live in a more traditional and normal state. Life is not like in the Hallmark™ movies, and Facebook has provided me with the insight that ‘perfect’ does not exist, well maybe for an hour or two when we are playing at something we like and want to do. I wouldn’t change a thing, well maybe a few tweaks here and there.
Today, I have three special men in my life, my husband Rich, my son Steve, and my son Alex. I love all three of them and I feel blessed they love and like me too. As a teenager all I wanted was that one special guy and I was living to find him. When I met Rich (at Helene and Lanny’s wedding rehearsal, I was not looking for a relationship) I was beginning to feel secure as a single woman, single mom, and being single. However, as fate may have it, once I met Rich something clicked, and that feeling is still within me. I am with my person, and despite the fact that not every moment in the day is perfect, I would be lost without this man who continues to provide me with my independence. I am blessed that he accepted my oldest son and has been a father and friend figure for him for 40+ years. Rich is a wonderful father and has been involved from the first moment we conceived. He has been by side when we experienced the loss and miscarriages. He developed a strong loving bond with my parents and brothers taking a seat at the table.
When I told my mother Rich and I were getting married she commented, “The first time you marry for love, the second time for money…” Although this was to be a long-standing joke between us, I told her this time is for a lasting friendship/love with a man called Rich.
Here is to 40 Plus!
I LOVE RICH
Hope you like our new modified look
A special thanks to
Doug Wilber and Cherished Companions – Care Notes
Melinda Smith – Heart Mojo
Alison, Candace, Carol & Kristy – GRIEF BeLIEF
Candace Pollock – The Intentionality Gurus
Elise Marie Collins – How to Super Age
Paul Seaburn – What in the World
Karen Hale & guests – Avoid the Maze
2024 we will be adding 2 new shows and working on another 2 for mid 2024
Join in to the listening of AVOID the MAZE –
Reminiscing on Radio and Parenting and MORE…
|Karen and Glenn discussed Glenn’s experiences with jury duty and parenting, as well as their shared history in radio broadcasting. Glenn expressed his appreciation for being able to share his deep thoughts on the airwaves, and the two reminisced about changes in the radio industry over the years. They also discussed their respective journeys into and through broadcasting, with Karen sharing her story of being dissuaded from pursuing a career in communications and broadcasting by her parents.
|Glenn’s Musical and Televisual Journey
|Glenn shared his life experiences and career journey, starting from his teenage years when he began developing interests in music and cooking. He shared how his love for entertaining people led him to pursue a career in music and piano teaching. However, he faced a dilemma between his passions and the realities of the financial compensation. Later, an unexpected event occurred when he was noticed by Conan O’Brien on his show, which led him to consider a career in television. Finally, he decided to enroll in broadcasting school in 1996 to become a behind-the-scenes professional, but ended up taking an internship at Q104.
|Glenn’s Journey From Song Parodies to Positive Thinking
|Glenn, known initially for his funny song parodies, shared how he transitioned to a deeper thinker and positive person. He credited this change to his radio show where he was paid to maintain a good mood and provide a positive listening experience for his audience. Despite initial challenges, he found that the more he worked at being happy, the more natural it became. He also noted that his job required him to be in a good mood regardless of personal issues, which he found cathartic. Glenn’s journey from a funny song man to a deep thinking man was a result of his effort to force happiness until it became natural.
|Therapy Through Personal Writing
|Glenn and Karen (Avoid the Maze) shared their experiences of using personal writing as a form of therapy. Glenn expressed that sharing struggles and experiences on blogs and posts provided him with comfort and guidance, and possibly did the same for others. Karen agreed, reflecting on her podcasting experiences and the impact that reaching just one person can have. They discussed their processes for writing and dealing with emotions, with Karen acknowledging she often starts with a negative feeling but then seeks out a quote or realization that shifts her perspective to a positive outcome. Both agreed that their writing often reflected their experiences and emotions, and they preferred to share possible solutions or personal experiences rather than just their opinions.
|Emotional Support in Relationships
|Karen and Glenn discussed the emotional journey of friends and family members moving away and the importance of expressing emotions. Karen shares how she felt when her son moved to Texas but also saw it as an exciting new chapter. Glenn shares his childhood experience of not having a father and how this influenced his emotional intelligence and parenting style. Both agree on the importance of breaking down traditional gender roles in parenting and being emotionally supportive for their children.
|Parenting Perspectives: Love, Routines, and Diagnosis
|Glenn and Karen-shared their experiences with parenting and raising children. Glenn emphasized the importance of being present for children and making them feel loved, appreciated, and listened to, rather than constantly giving them tasks and chores. He also shared that having routines and making children accountable for their actions had helped in their family. In contrast, Karen shared her experience with her son’s autism diagnosis. She explained that while the diagnosis changed how others treated her son, they tried to maintain a sense of normalcy at home. She also stressed the importance of not treating children differently based on their diagnosis.
|Parenting Philosophies and Personal Growth
|Karen and Glenn engaged in a dialogue about parenting philosophies, emphasizing the importance of equipping children with problem-solving and communication skills. Glenn shared a personal story of overcoming a bully situation as a child, which taught him the value of standing up for oneself. They both stressed the role of parents in guiding children’s personal growth and the importance of seeking additional resources for guidance. They also shared their experiences with their children, highlighting the evolution of their relationships and the self-discovery and understanding that comes with parenthood.
|Love, Conflict, and Tech: A Marriage Conversation
|Karen and Glenn had a detailed conversation about the evolution of love in a married relationship. They highlighted how love changes from initial attraction and infatuation to deeper commitment and understanding through shared trials and tribulations. Glenn emphasized the importance of resolving conflicts respectfully, particularly in front of children, to foster relationship strength and understanding. They also discussed the importance of arguments in relationships, noting that they provide an opportunity to learn from each other as long as they don’t cause resentment. Glenn shared his experiences and perspectives on personal growth and change, focusing on the role of technology, including the Odyssey app for radio listening, and encouraged embracing new technological advancements.
I am frustrated, angry and getting myself worked up into a state of depression. I do not understand how humans can become evil barbaric animals. Why is it necessary to become satanic and demand that if you do not fit a certain mold you are not worthy to live? Why is there so much hate against Israel! Even though it was named as a Jewish state in 1948, the Jewish population had not denied non- Jews to live within the borders. The Jews/Israeli’s did not start the fighting, and in fact if you ask many Jews living or visiting in Israel that the population is welcoming to all. It is the extremist that cause the wars and killing, destruction and my question is WHY. As children we learn to share and be polite and yet somewhere along the way the EXTREMISTS world wide start pulling innocent individuals into their circle or they kill them! In every religion isn’t killing for the sake of killing a sin of some format!
I have never had the honor of making Aliyah to Israel. The one time I had hoped and planned to go to Israel was in my senior year of high school, 1968, not the safest time, and yet when is the safe time to go, with those who hate just because of someone’s religion, traditions, and heritage.
In a conversation I had with my son the other day we were talking about our various friends we have and not once did we identify them as Black, Negro, African American, Asian, German, Christian, Moslem, Jewish, or LGBTQ+. Through work, in our neighborhoods, in the groups we have joined for social justice we know a variety of people and we do not select our friends based on their looks or their differences. I just learned one of my best friends is on the opposite of the political spectrum than I am and yet we are friends and we share so many other things in common and she is nice, why would I throw a friendship away. I will listen her side and she will listen to my side if we choose to share or we will leave those topics for our own personal use.
I do not tell my friends, business colleagues, or family members what to believe or not to believe. I do not want them to tell me either, however; I believe we all should be in relationships where we can voice our opinions without judgement from self or others. Changing from hate to love is not going to happen over night but we each can take one step to stop the hate and peace will be the winner. Are you willing to stop your hate?
The Dallas Wings are an American professional basketball team based in Arlington, Texas. The Wings play in the Western Conference in the Women’s National Basketball Association. Prior to this year I was totally unaware of the WNBA, but I love this young team.
This team was one of the first WNBA expansion teams in 1998 as the Detroit Shock (Detroit is my birthplace but Arlington, Texas area holds my heart!)
They are second in the Western Conference Division and will be moving into the playoffs.
The Dallas Wings (18-14) defeated the Washington Mystics (15-17), 97-84, on Sunday, August 20 to increase their win streak to three games.
They play tonight (Tuesday 8/22/23) Minnesota against the Lynx, another city I once called home.
Thursday night they will be back in Arlington to play against the Lynx on their home court.
Newclevelandradio.net & What in the World with Paul Seaburn are cheering loud and clear – please join us!
Learn more: https://wings.wnba.com/
Yesterday, July 15, 2023
Richard and I celebrated 39 years of marriage, but we’ve been together 41 years – as they say “Oy Vay!” Rich and I are not much on celebrations. In fact, in the early years, just as we are now, we were both working to make ends meet. Sometimes we drive up to Detroit to see my family for a free dinner out, and other times it was my dear mother-in-law who always made sure we did something special. That meant not going to McDonalds, but maybe to Pizza Hut for an all you can eat buffet. (Do they still have that?)
Once Alex was born our celebration included him and we went out to entertain him more than ourselves.
This year was different. For the first time in 32 years, we were alone for our anniversary. Alex is working and living in Fort Worth and circumstances did not provide him with the opportunity to come home. Steve was just here for Mother’s Day and truly he should be on vacation (he works too hard.) However, last night we were joined for dinner with new friends Kristi & Rob (who are now our new family). I met Kristi a year ago through an online group and despite our age differences and backgrounds growing up I know we are kindred spirits. Dinner was fun as they got Rich to share stories on how we met (Thank you Iris, Lanny & Helene), how he proposed (a long story, anyone for a McDonald’s), and much more including his life before we met…
Kristi picked up on something I posted yesterday that it was our anniversary (not the original reason for going out), and gave us the sweetest loving card, but also had a piece of chocolate Oreo cake brought to the table with a candle. The dinner and evening were wonderful, and it was simple. (Kristi and Rob, we must do this again, before next year!!!)
I know for some birthdays and anniversaries are celebrated for days and I hear some celebrate the whole month. We have never been like that, nor do I think we ever will be. The reality is we love each other as well as like each other and spending our lives together is a celebration. This year I missed so many of the people who were part of our celebration on July 15, 2024, including our parents who became friends and family over the years. My in-laws and my mom and dad enjoyed the company of each other, and they would get together when they were both in Florida and when my parents came to visit us.
Sadly, in addition to our parents no longer being with us, we have experienced the loss of friends, and other relatives who made our day a true MITZVAH. On that day I never thought we would experience the losses we have in 39 years. Naïve as I was, I thought our parents would be with us year after year to continue to acknowledge the longevity of our marriage.
When we announced, we were getting married we had friends who swore we would never last. Well to those who thought it or said it out loud, “Looks like we made it” despite the Manilow lyrics – we did not leave each other to find another. In fact, our gift to each other was a renewal for yet another year. We are on to 40!
I was not an athlete growing up. If and when I ran I always got a pain in my right side, so I chose not to run. Also my family sorta convinced me that I was a KLUTZ. I was forever bumping into things or falling down and getting hurt. However, once I got to college I got interested in being a sports spectator, however back in the day females were Cheer Leaders very few participated in sports like Basketball.
I have my personal reasons why this team is ‘my team’ and why I choose to celebrate them. However, I am here to share their remarkable record and encourage you to check them out. If you live outside the Dallas area you can watch many of their games through your ABC Affiliate or ION.
I’ve been home about 36 hours and I am trying to catch up. Leaving Alex yesterday was not easy, we both agreed the time I spent with him was needed, and not just for his recuperation from surgery. Although I am his mother, being in his home made me take a step back. I did help him get organized something he’s been trying to do since he moved in December, but with work, Christmas break, and returning after the holidays ill, he just never got his things in order.
I respected his need for privacy, and he respected my efforts to keep him comfortable and on the road to wellness. Knowing that he still has a few weeks before he will be feeling more normal, I had to return home and leave him to sail his ship.
Sometimes as parents we tend to jump in and do the work for our kids and then one day, they have a problem, and they don’t know how to handle it. However, Alex has been observing us all these years and he is navigating his ship, steering away from the ice burgs. As a mom observing her child who is a young adult live on his own and prosper is a warm feeling of well done!
I think my fatigue is catching up with me and a good night’s sleep is needed. Tonight, when I lay my head on my pillow I know my sweet dreams will include both of my sons and my husband who are very special to me.
Good night, Rich…
Good night, Steve
Good night, Alex
“you are my sunshine…”