Daily Comments 2024

 

I am feeling disturbed and upset over something I read on Facebook early this morning.  I joined two groups, The Ethel Circle and Adult Orphans.  The majority of the people in this group are 50+.  What I am finding disturbing is how many women are living in relationships that are toxic and dangerous.  It appears their spouses or significant others are becoming personal vigilantes as they follow the RIGHT-WING RADICALS online and watch the RIGHT-WING news on T.V.  One woman wrote that her husband (retired) sits on the computer all day watching videos and news and he is preparing for the revolution.  She says their bedroom is an arsenal.  She is scared for her own life or what her husband may do.  Her comments are alarming because a majority of the responses to her post other women are confirming they too feel like their spouse is preparing for the next civil war.  Although there are some (in the minority) who claim she is overreacting.

With all the mass shootings and the wars raging in our world this scares me.  Why are resorting to preparing for war who in their right mind wants to destroy the American Dream and Promise.  Although I don’t believe we need guns, I will accept if you are trained and mentally capable of owning and using a gun for your personal defense, you have the right to bare arms.  But that does not include an arsenal or taking that weapon out into public and shooting directly or randomly.  When we see the misuse of weapons, collecting them and preparing for the WAR, it’s time to report this to the authorities and if nothing else get some mental health intervention for the RADICALS.

I am blessed that my husband and I may disagree on some issues but one issue we agree on is we do not need a gun or a weapon to defend ourselves.  We do not want to harm anyone including ourselves.  You have a choice to make but I would hope we would all agree killing is murder and murder is against not only our civil laws but most if not all our religious laws.

  • I don’t like living in fear!  
  • I want to feel safe when I go to a sports celebration and not fear someone will be there killing innocent people.
  • I want to feel safe when I go to a concert and that radicals won’t be there kidnapping and killing innocent people.
  • I want to feel safe when I go to a big box store to shop or the local mall to shop and stroll.
  • I want to feel safe when I drive down the street and turn around in someone’s driveway because I am going in the wrong direction.
  • I want to feel safe and create friendships with my neighbors.
  • I want to feel safe going for a walk in the park or following the trails without fear of being hurt in any way.
  • I want to feel safe when I call the police …
  • I want to feel safe – there once was a time I did!

 

Yesterday was not a GREAT Day – someone whom I care about was having a bad day.  Listening to them vent hurt my heart and soul.  My feelings for this individual made me mindful of how difficult our world can be today, despite technology that we once believed would make our lives simpler and happier.  (Be careful what you wish for.)  However, our global world has put more demands on us and the pressures many are living with create volcanic explosions.

I grew up in the 50s and 60s and life was simpler.  Meeting people and developing friendships was much easier.  We had less fears, in fact many of us were not afraid to leave our doors unlocked and neighbors and friends would stop by and walk into our homes without knocking or ringing doorbells.  When our phones rang, we ran to answer them, they weren’t in our hands, and they didn’t display who the caller was.  We just said hello and had conversations.

Today a conversation is considered a text message, having a conversation on the phone for Generation X and even Millennials is rare.  And since we are all in such a hurry, text messages are acronyms and emojis.  Trying to stay up with the technology even as a Baby Boomer I too find too many of my conversations are in text form.  I miss having a real verbal conversation, maybe that’s why I love podcasting and coaching because I have the opportunity to use words and sentences, what a concept.

Going back to yesterday I believe one of the reasons this person was having a bad day is that the texting may have led to the doom and gloom they were feeling developed out of simple words that did not complete a sentence and lead to overthinking and processing over and over what they thought the words meant.  I have found myself in similar situations and then I remember, I have a voice and I use it.

I doubt we will ever get back to the simplicity of my childhood, but my challenge is to reach out and talk to people, allow others to hear your words and ask you questions and build a conversation.

Conversation – “a talk, especially an informal one, between two or more people, in which news and ideas are exchanged.”

 


Growing up I loved and hated Sundays. I enjoyed the activities I was involved in such as Sunday school with friends like Blanche or youth group where I found my groove both in Michigan and Minnesota.  My earliest recollection of Sunday’s was a pilgrimage to visit both sets of my grandparents.  My mom’s parents, Baube & Zayde Freedman, were my old fashion loving grandparents who had migrated to the United States in the early 1900s from Horoduck (which was a village in Russia, now part of Belarus.  We would begin our day visiting Baube & Zayde first and often my aunts and uncles would be visiting as well with their children my cousins.  After an hour or so we would go visit Grandma Jen and Grandpa and often one of Grandma’s cousins Henrietta or Hilda, or his sister Rose would be visiting as well.  Also, grandpa’s brother Joe was a frequent visitor.  (By the way both my Grandpa Abe Moss and his brother Joe Moss played baseball with the Holland Wooden Shoes a barnstorming team.)

Sunday was a ritual day even as those rituals changed as I all grew older I was pulled in different directions.

What I hated about Sundays was school was the next day and that meant the day was cut short in order to prepare for the return to the daily routine.  My memories of school are not ‘terrible’ but I found it difficult moving from one subject to another and switching gears.  Although I have never been diagnosed with ADD I can see signs of that in my past.  Actually, I wonder if that is what led me to be more Type A (and a bit OCD).  For the last 10+ years I have been working on reducing that Type A personality and today is an example of that.

The traditional Sundays were eliminated from my life when I got married and started raising a family of my own.  Neither my first husband, nor my current husband of 40 years liked living on a schedule or being responsible for visiting family or friends.  Sundays have just been whatever days except for the ten years I worked a part-time job on Saturday’s and Sunday’s.  However, it has been two years since Sunday is just another day and often like today, I escape into what I call laziness and allow myself to nap or just do nothing special.  Yet something always propels me to get up and write my blog.  My blog/journaling provides me with focus through my memories.

I have recently networked with several groups where I am virtually meeting other people like me who may be noticing what was and what is and too often asking is “This all there is?”  For me I am still evolving and finding how to adapt some of my old ways with some new and refreshing ways.  The words mindful and awareness keep me looking forward to who I truly want to be and each day I am in the right place.  (Because I choose to be.)

When we are children, we develop a picture in our minds of who we will be when we grow up and for me that picture has changed over the years.  I have allowed myself to redraw those pictures, but I do not throw the old ones away (those are my memories).  I use my memories to create new pictures and develop my journey which is forever evolving.

Not everyone has this mindset and for many years I fell off my path and allowed negativity to encroach my life.  The day I realized I was blaming everyone else for my unhappiness was the day I chose to tackle happiness. I truly found my happiness when I chose to move and spend 2 ½ months with my mother as she was facing her end of life (and was unaware of it.)  Without an apology to my husband and my youngest son I knew that I had to do this not just for her but for me.  It was difficult being 3+ hours away from home but it worked for all of us.  When my husband and son could get away, they would travel to spend a day or two with me while I was attentive to mom’s needs.  Although this was not a happy situation with the assistance of my brother Joel and some of mom’s wonderful care givers, I was able to smile, laugh and cry with my mom and all who loved her.  Today some of my memories of this time make me smile.  When mom was lucid, she would make remarks there were cute and funny, and when her memory confused her, she still brought humor in her words and actions.  The one thing I will remember for the rest of my life is when mom was asked how many children she had, her answer was 6 (she had 3).  When she would list off our names as, Joel, Joel, Gary, Joel, Joel & Gary.  If you asked her about Kiki (me) she would say, “Oy, she was a troublemaker.  In the last week of her life, she thought my name was Gital.  The morning of her funeral I learned Gital was her Baube.

So how did I get from stating I loved and hated Sundays… I think it’s because my memories of Sunday are so profound, and I identify with my family who helped shape me into the woman I am.  I am proud that I have chosen to find happiness even when my children live hundreds of miles away as do my brothers and their families. I cherish our phone calls, emails, text messages and visits when they occur and in the meantime reach into my bag of tools that keep me smiling from the inside out.

May today put a smile on your face.

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

Yesican.ncr@gmail.com

440 526 1530


“Expectations are not based on reality. They are observations, expected realities, or beliefs of what you think will happen. Expectations of others stop us from acting as our highest selves and reaching our full potential.”

Jay Shetty

I just read this quote and it created one of those ‘AHA MOMENTS”!  Ask yourself this question: Are you doing things others expect of you, or are you doing things for yourself?

You are never too old (or too young) to follow your dreams.  Do not put them on hold because others expect you to…

 


“Groundhog Day (Pennsylvania GermanGrund’sau dåkGrundsaudaagGrundsow DawgMurmeltiertagNova ScotiaDaks Day)[1] is a tradition observed in the United States and Canada on February 2 of every year. It derives from the Pennsylvania Dutch superstition that if a groundhog emerges from its burrow on this day and sees its shadow, it will retreat to its den and winter will go on for six more weeks; if it does not see its shadow, spring will arrive early.”

Ok this tradition makes no sense to me!  If the groundhog emerges and sees his shadow, why does that mean 6 weeks till Spring?  I would think sunshine and the warmth from the sun would be an indicator of an early Spring.  Living in Northeast Ohio I live for sunshine and during the Winter we get very little direct sun as it hides behind the clouds.  It’s a tradition and we all await to get the message from Punxsutawney Phil to tell us we will have 6 more weeks of Winter.

Scientifically we all know Spring does not start until March 20-21st; “The vernal equinox, or spring equinox, occurs on March 20 or 21 in the Northern Hemisphere. This is when the sun crosses the celestial equator, an imaginary line in the sky above the Earth’s equator, from south to north. The vernal equinox marks the moment when the Earth’s equator is directly aligned with the sun.”

I am not trying to take away the Hoopla that Punxsutawney Phil creates.  We all need something to cheer for, even though we no truth, there is no Little Leprechaun for St. Patrick’s Day, there is no Easter Bunny, and Uncle Sam is not a real person, and I am sorry to report there is no Santa Claus or Chanukah Harry.  (But it fun to think that they all do, giving us pathway to fun!)

So, whatever the results are, we will all celebrate Spring on March 20, 2024, however, there is no guarantee Winter will linger into the next season.  My advice to all, embrace today cloudy or sunny, freezing cold or cold, and don’t wait till tomorrow to get out and enjoy the day.  Listen to the birds singing (they are), look for some of the trees and bushes developing for the next season to arrive.  Find the beauty if only for a moment!

Winter is not my favorite season as I don’t like the cold, but I have always lived in a city that experiences 4 seasons a year.  My secret to getting through the winter is getting involved in something that I appreciate, and I won’t let the cold take away from me.  YOU CAN DO THIS TOO!

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

Yesican.ncr@gmail.com

440 526 1530

 


February 1, 2024 Are you feeling blue or grey today?  I love the color blue and the various shades of this hue.  When I think I am blue (“Feeling blue” is an idiom that describes a feeling of sadness, melancholy, or gloominess. It can also mean feeling somber, glum, depressed, unhappy, dispirited, or sorrowful), I look for the yellow (the sun) that can elevate my mood.  It is a normal feeling however gaining the tools to reduce or eliminate the sensations of sadness, melancholy, and gloominess are essential for YOU and ME to live our best lives.

For the past 3+ years I have been hosting the “Avoid the Maze” podcast.  https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSdL23sBfggnxQkcre4xD9_TvFIAzBZ3N

The majority of my guests are Coaches, Mentors, Trainers, and entrepreneurs.  Not only do I learn from them, but they are also learning from me as well.  I am finding new tools to use or modifying old tools.  It’s all about making the choices that make us happy.  For the majority of my life, I lived by the motto; “Make Someone Happy and You Will Be Happy Too.”  However, happiness comes from within, and it is up to us to use our tools to fuel our personal positive emotions.

What it took me 50+ years to understand was it is not selfish to approach our emotions and create our own sunlight and let that shine down to assist others to find their joy

When you live in a 4-season environment where the winter months are more GREY than Blue, it is imperative to find the light whether it is the sun behind the clouds or the lighting in your room where you can see beyond the GREY.

11 years ago, when I was pushed out of my Corporate America job that was paying me exceptionally well, I fell into a deep depression.  It did not help (or maybe it did) that I experienced this during the grayest winter months, February & March 2013.  For the first week I found myself laying in bed with my curtains open feeling, “WHY ME-WHAT NOW!”

My medical team helped me through this and although I did not want to resort to medication, I needed it to get me up and out of bed.  I needed it to find my purpose and within a month I found a part-time job writing blogs for the Health Care Industry.  The vision in these podcasts were formed around becoming a Senior Adult and living your best self (with or without a lot of retirement money.)  My research became my toolbox and the more I learned the happier and healthier I became.  To this day I am still on medication, a much lower dose as maintenance because I know and understand that this is one of my tools. I’ve taken to exercising regularly to keep my body and mind strong and even with some setbacks like my fall last summer, I knew I would and could recover from it.  I learned how the power of our mindful thoughts can provide us with a path to happiness.  (As an aside, when I fell last summer initially, I could not use my left leg.  I laid in a hospital bed for four days and it wasn’t until they transferred me to rehab that I started to use my left leg, painfully and slowly getting stronger with less pain.)

Pain may develop at the drop of a hat.  One moment you are feeling happy and strong and then something happens and shatters those emotions due to the hurt that has invaded your body and mind.  If we have a first aide kit available when life happens it will be easier to get through pain.

Here is another example of dealing with pain.  From that same accident and the physical therapy, I went through to heal my injuries, one of those injuries was masked.  What I mean is I was concentrating so much on my left leg that the pain in my right arm was not as obvious.   However, in the Fall I had a follow up appointment with my doctor, and I mentioned that my right arm was experiencing pain and it kept me up at night.  Assuming it was arthritis I began treating it as such but by December I was routed for Physical Therapy, and I am still in treatment.  What was identified as arthritis is a rotator cuff injury.  I am religiously going to PT and doing exercises at home and what I have learned is these exercises may be a lifetime commitment.  When I develop new skills if I formulate them into my life as just one additional thing to do, like brushing my teeth, it is less of a choir than thinking of it as exercise.  Even at 74, I can make changes to enhance my life.  I do not have to resort to moan and groan…Yes, I do complain (to my husband) but I do not use it as an excuse to eliminate any happiness I am achieving.

As a coach I have a huge bag of challenges that I have worked through, I use my educational expertise my lifetime know-how to coach my clients.

If you are facing a challenge please contact me, the first visit is FREE – Don’t wait till…

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

Yesican.ncr@gmail.com

440 526 1530

 


January 31, 2024  It’s almost February, we have already traveled through 1/12 of 2024.  I am looking forward to the growth I intend to create with #yesican Coaching with Karen and newclevelandradio.net the parent platform for Coaching and Podcasting.

I first want to acknowledge that I am ignoring all the hype some Coaches and Podcasters are spouting about the key to a 6-figure income.  We all know it takes money to make money and for those who are coaching and podding, we don’t all have deep pockets.  Now I understand everyone wants to make a buck but it’s like hiring an attorney every time you feel wronged and want to prove a point, it is the attorney who is making the money first…

I have gotten caught up in purchasing classes online and, the get rich books only fill someone else’s pockets.  Not everyone is scamming US, but I have learned before I spend another dime, I need to do some research and ask myself is this for real?

When I was in the process of creating and building newclevelandradio.net, I saw the need to offer an opportunity to podcasters to bring their message to our platform keeping our rates to a minimum and provide the podcasters with a venue to promote their messages.  Our podcasters do not have to be concerned with the technical side of recording, uploading, and initial promotions.  I encourage our podcasters to do crossover interviews to increase their exposure and to develop a network of supporters.

When I expanded the business and created #yesican coaching under the newclevelandradio.net umbrella I did so to offer experience and educational expertise to clients who want to make changes in their life needing assistance to face what they see as challenges and lead them to opportunities.  The coaching fees are on a sliding scale to provide my services for those who are facing financial challenges.  I am not podcasting nor coaching to earn 6 figures.  If I do that will be a bonus, however, I have learned it is more important to do what you LOVE to DO and for me that is sharing, caring, and offering to assist others in need.

Contact me today.

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

Yesican.ncr@gmail.com

440 526 1530


January 21, 2024 Good morning – for most of us we have faced a week or more of Frigid Temperatures and too many inches of Snow!  However, the weather bureau claims that we (nationwide) are in for a warmup, a thaw and Rain instead of Snow and that could mean additional challenges feed to us by mother nature.  Now, I grew up in Michigan, and went to high school in Minnesota, returned to Michigan, lived in Philadelphia, Cincinnati and for over 40 years in Northeast Ohio.  I am not a stranger to winter weather, but I do not like it!

In Michigan I was exposed to the winter harshness.  I walked to school (not miles) since we did not have busing.  We bundled up wearing leggings, mittens, boots, scarves and often looked like the Michelin Man™.  Despite not liking winter I played outside in the snow, went sledding, made snow angels, and built snow forts and attempted ice skating (I was very wobbly!)  When I lived in Philadelphia winters were not as harsh as Michigan and Minnesota, and Cincinnati was also much milder.  Since living in Cleveland, other than the constant grey winter skies I cannot complain about the winter, but I am not a fan!

Compared to some many across the United States the winter storm we just experienced was mild in comparison.  Buffalo, NY sure got hit hard 5 -6 feet of snow that the Buffalo Bills fans came out to shovel out the stadium for today’s Superbowl playoff game.  (I think the stadium needs a dome!)  I am blessed that my husband and I have a roof over our heads that comes with a working furnace that keeps us warm.  However, I know there are millions who are homeless with no where to go and the municipal areas are doing what they can to provide warming stations and shelters, however we should not have so many displaced people.

So many of us are on the verge of being homeless.  Jobs are not secure as they once were in the 50s, 60s, and 70s.  Too many jobs today are part-time or contract.  My husband has been a contract worker for the majority of our 40+ years together.  What that means he makes good money when he is under contract, however, contracts are typically not continuous.  If the company can get someone else to do the job ‘cheaper’ guess what happens?  Even having your own business is not secure because there is always someone else offering your product or services and customers and clients will check out the competition.

The above was not to scare you or believe it all dooms day rhetoric.  However, the reality is that your neighbor, sibling, parent, or one of your 1,000s of friends on Facebook, may be teetering on homelessness.

I read a message the other day on Facebook written by a neighbor who invited us to an estate sale.  The women who lived in the home that will be sold as well as her belongings had to go on Medicaid and has zero funds to support herself, whatever is made on her belongings at the estate sale will help.  She has no immediate family and the distant family and friends she had (not including her neighbor) gave up on her as she sank further and further into poverty and homelessness.  Her neighbor has helped her navigate and she is moving into an assisted living facility that accepts Medicaid.  Sadly, the majority of the facilities are not the nicest, but they offer shelter and food.  I do not believe this was the path this woman had planned for her life, but circumstances challenged and her, and she is one of many.

I chose to write about this subject today so we can all be more proactive and connect with family and friends before we may find ourselves in a dire situation.  The wealthy may tell us we should have saved more over the years but the reality of it is some of us never had enough to save or we had to use our savings just to make it one day at a time.

I ask each one of you as you read this to think of one thing you can do to help another-some people are tying scarves, coats, and hats to light poles or bridge over passes for someone in need to take and stay warm.  Instead of handing the pan handler money put together snack bags or toiletry bags, or warm clothing – they need immediate substance.  We all can do something simple.  And for those that can do more, provide shelter in an empty office building or providing supplies to the soup kitchens…let’s do it, you never know who may need it today, and it maybe you tomorrow.

 


January 15th, a Monday legal holiday here in the United States.  To day is a day to commemorate Dr. Luther King. It saddens me that despite that fact his is a legal holiday we have not learned to accept each other as equals.  You may think you are smarter or better in some manner than another, but the reality is we all have out strengths and weaknesses.  If we could throw out the entitlement that so many people believe in, we would all live more peacefully and happily.

If we take the words of Martin Luther King and apply them to all scenarios in our life, we might be that peg that contributes to a better life for all.  We do not require and or need some of the things we possess, I have experienced doing with less and being happy.  However, it is not for me nor you to judge what others select as their needs!  So how do we change this belief system and learn to be inclusive, kind, and caring.

I am saying that if we are reaching to succeed and meet our wants that we should not feel selfish, ashamed, or unworthy.  We are entitled as free-thinking humans to want and gain the possessions that we believe identify us; however as human beings with a brain that allows us to think and process, maybe we don’t need what we think we need!  I have been asked if I had one wish to make what would it be?  For years my answer was more money to pay my bills!  However, I have learned that the more money we have the more we spend and unless we are frugal and mindful, we may never have enough.  Another wish I had was for good health.  Until recently I did not equate that with what I could do to ensure good health.  It may not be 100% perfect and reliable but eating healthier, exercising, and reducing my stress levels has helped considerably.

Yes, I still get daily migraines, but I have found tools that provide me with relief or at minimum a reduction in pain and discomfort.

I may be treating a rotator cuff injury, I have no idea when it got injured, and I am still meeting my demands on my daily schedule although I may approach them with more ease.

Winter weather has not been my friend in the past, but I refuse to waste my energy in complaining or fighting the inevitable seasonal change.  I focus on what is yet to come Spring will be here soon and today despite sub zero temperatures the glorious sun is shining bright.

I allow my medical team to treat me for mild depression.  I don’t want to feel the grey and blackness that I had in the past.  I also treat myself to mindfulness and accepting that my thoughts can be changed.  Not everyone who suffers from depression has the energy to refocus and even if they do, they may not have the support system.  Support systems come in many shapes and sizes and one size does not fit all.  It me years, decades to find my support system.  Strangely it began with my youngest son who was also experiencing depressive thoughts.  When he recognized my symptoms, he brought them to my attention, and I sought medical assistance.  I grew up in a home where depression was not a word that my family would use or recognize.

My son also sought additional medical assistance to recognize his highs and lows, learning new tools that would help him as well as share with others. Once again, we are all unique and what works for one may not work for another but when we recognize what we really need and want, life is much more beautiful.  It takes time and energy to heal whatever pain we may be experiencing.  We must get involved and face it head on and learn to move through it to get to the other side.  It is OK to ask for help, asking for help only makes us stronger.

Today the pain of antisemitism is all around us and we are inflicting hate on others through prejudiced thoughts and harboring hate for someone who is politically, religiously, and or culturally different.

Dr. King preached: “Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”


It is already January 12th; we are 12 days into 2024 – what have you accomplished?

My father used to tell me to find my happy place each day; when I found it, I would be at my personal best, and I could accomplish anything!  Although I doubted him for a long time, as I matured, I found wisdom in his words.  When we are happy, we believe in ourselves and the energy flows.  Often it is so contagious that others around us begin to excel as well.

On the 7th day of January, I felt as if I was not well.  I could not pinpoint what was wrong but all I wanted to do was curl into a ball and just wait out whatever was brewing inside.  However, the words of my father resonated in my thoughts, and I looked for that happy place and I found it!  I may have a cold/virus and physically I may not feel well, allowing my emotions to find the positive glow of the day has helped me through this.

It is easy to feel the pain whether physical or emotional and allow that pain to engulf us, however I choose not to.  I look for the light at the end of the tunnel and sprint towards it.  Each day we have choices to make and I choose to smile rather than frown and to laugh rather than cry…but even I must be reminded that each step I take is an accomplishment.


75 Best Thank-You Messages and Words of AppreciationJanuary 7, 2024  Thank you for being supportive of newclevelandradio.net (Avoid the Maze) and #YESICAN coaching with Karen.

During the months of January and February I am offering a special pricing for coaching to all new clients.  I am honestly empathetic to what I hear so many people are saying regarding their financial commitments.  However, I believe we all need to have a Coach/Mentor/Therapist or someone who can assist us to find happiness.  Too often we are caught up in the day-to-day ‘crap’ that takes us down a path that may not fill our needs.  It is also apparent that many of us may not know what those needs are until we develop a relationship with someone who can walk our path and help find the road markers.

Coaching guides the individual to learn how to check-in with themselves.  I truly learned this technique through Positive Intelligence and my wonderful guide and coach.

Reflect on experiences positive and negative and identify why they fit into specific categories – this takes mindfulness another area of our thought process we must exercise to find happiness.

When working with a coach it is important to check in with that guide.  It is significant that you trust the conversations you have are one-on-one and your privacy is significant in your working relationship.  It is also OK to ask for guidance.

Learning to be assertive and following your path is the key to your happiness. Observing others is OK but do not expect that you will follow the same road maps.

Be good to yourself.  Stop judging every move you may make or assume that everything you do is perfect.  Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them.

Whether your coach provides you with learning assessments or not it is important that you take the time to review who you are and where you want to go.  Sometimes it is best to see things in black and white.

Assess your relationships – you cannot change another person – even if they change to be accepted – if they don’t believe in the change, it will not last.  You are only responsible for yourself.

I am looking forward to working with you as a guest on Avoid the Maze, possibly receiving coaching referrals, or being a guest on your podcast.  I also would like to team up with some of you and create an online program advocating coaching.  Those of us who coach we know the importance of this process and many of us are being coached as well.

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

Yesican.ncr@gmail.com

440 526 1530


January 5, 2024 – The Golden Bachelor has not only been a great success for ABC and Disney, but it has also brought hope to many individuals that love is not just for the young.  We are never too old to find that significant other if that is what will complete us.

As I watched the reality series which we all know is somewhat scripted I swore to myself if I was ever in a position of being single again, I would never put myself through the ‘cattiness’ often displayed in this series.  However, understanding that there is a great portion of the dialogue that is created for entertainment, that a majority of the women truly developed long lasting friendships as observed in the wedding special for Gerry and Theresa.

I want to encourage everyone to find love with self-first. In my younger stages of life, I was always searching for someone to love and find love in return.  If you don’t love and respect yourself, it is difficult to establish that with someone else.  I truly am blessed that I am married to my best friend.  Rich has taught me what true love is. Our true love is not about romantic dinners, expensive gifts, and the glitz of a Hallmark™ movie.  Our love is sharing the everyday issues of life together, and sometimes it means we compromise, picking our battles before they develop into a war.

My paternal grandmother told me the secret to a successful marriage was not going to bed/sleep angry.  Although I understood her secret to success it took me a long time to drop the anger or dispute before closing out the day.  Anger often creates a mountain out of a mole hill.  It is easier to smooth out the mole hill, whereas the mountain is rugged often causing danger as it grows larger.

You may be reading this and thinking, wow Karen, you lucked out and yes, I have but it took work to get to where I am today.  Life is a journey, and we must continue to walk the path that leads us to our purpose.  As we continue to evolve through life the journey may shift from North to South with a sharp right or left turn.  Just like the Golden Bachelor, things may not be what they seem, and it is up to each of us to take off the rose-colored glasses and find the beauty in reality.

Susan, who performed the marriage ceremony for Gerry and Theresa was also one of the Bachelorettes in this series, she too was looking for love/. She hoped she and Gerry would find it together, however she knew it truly about following your heart.  I believe Gerry kept her in the mix as long as he did was due to the loving friendship and connection they had.  When she left the mansion, she encouraged him to follow his heart which was selecting Theresa.  Susan may not have found her Golden Bachelor to marry but she found a love of friendship which may be her pot of gold

I have been identified as a pleaser in every personality or psychological survey I have taken.  If I could, I would encourage everyone that is not selfish to please yourself.  We need to learn how to be in relationships while still caring for ourselves.  When the oxygen mask appears, take a deep breath before you help someone else.

Happiness is the experience of joy, feeling content, and being the positive, finding the sunlight behind the clouds, feeling the warmth from the sun on a cold winter day, and finding your purpose that beings a smile to your lips from deep inside your heart.

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

Yesican.ncr@gmail.com

440 526 1530


January 4, 2024  Do you ever ask yourself, “When is it my turn?”  Before you assume this is a ‘pity party’ blog, it’s not!  However, I have concluded that it has not been my turn because I have made the choice to be available to others.  Being a people pleaser or attempting to be a people fixer has been the path I have traveled the majority of my life.  This year I will be turning 74 and I am working on being a Karen pleaser and a Karen fixer.  For the last 10 plus years my focus has been in finding my purpose and creating personal happiness.  This is a work in process and this morning I asked myself that question, “WHEN?”

As a wife I established a responsibility in my marriage, now going on 40 years I am finding some of those responsibilities overwhelm me.  However, I continue to choose to follow the path I created more than half of my life ago and I am realizing that maybe I need a new focus.  No, not divorce or an affair, just to re-identify if what I chose to do 40+ years ago is still necessary today.  My husband is my best friend and the love of my life but there are times I want to scream, do it yourself and instead I begrudgingly do whatever it is to keep him happy.  (OOPS – it doesn’t work that way!)  If I am unhappy, he picks up on it and it alters his mood.  I am trying to use the tools I have collected over the years to reduce my unhappiness, taking my turn!

As a mother (with two grown sons) I find myself still trying to be their protector and taking on their distress with the hope to connect and reduce their stress/unhappiness.  However, coaching has taught me that it doesn’t work that way.  In fact, when I allow their anxieties to creep into my veins it is not healthy for any of us, particularly me.  I don’t expect them to respond to my needs in that way and I need to continue to work on allowing them to experience and feel in their manner.  So, I asked myself how I can release this energy and use it for ‘my turn’.

Holidays have always been difficult for me and in 2024 I am going to take some time to understand why so I may release the anxiety I bring upon myself.  2023 holiday’s, including Mother’s Day was spent with my family.  I had no expectations which provided me lasting happiness. I am no longer waiting for that Hallmark™ movie plot to be part of my life. What this past year has provided me with is a better understanding of who I am which I will continue to share in blogging, podcasting, and coaching.  I am challenging myself to say ‘no’ when it makes me happy.  I will say ‘yes’ when I know that is the best answer, although sometimes the best answer is based on the old tapes that rewind within us and remind us of the past.

I am accepting it’s ‘OK’ to ask the question, “When is it my turn?”  This will be my reminder that I need to make a choice and the choice is mine even if the answer is, “Not Now!”

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

Yesican.ncr@gmail.com

440 526 1530


 

January 1, 2024 – who would have thought that, yet another year is in our rearview mirror.  I can honestly say that despite upsets (WARS ranging in the world) and antisemitism, and the pure hate being spoken among many, I do believe the majority of us are kind, loving, humans.  I have chosen to believe in GOOD rather than to focus on the negativity that only produces more angst.

Growing up I witnessed family discord and all it produced was sadness, and then one day, the family members put their negativity away and the discord was no more.  I wish it was that easy and the Russians – Putin, would shake hands with the Ukraine’s -Zelensky, and the war would end.  And wouldn’t it be wonderful if the Middle East would learn to live in harmony and respect those who think and look differently?

OK, if I cannot convince the world to live in peace and harmony with respect for one another I can at least live my life in this manner.  I have known discrimination and I have pledged to never treat another human in such a disrespectful way.  I am no better than anyone else, and no one else is better than me.  We all can be our best selves and if we strive to be our best, we need not be better.

In my almost 74 years I have learned that not everyone will like me or agree with me and that’s OK; that means I do not have to like or agree with everyone, but we are all entitled to our opinions and choices without hurting or injuring another.

As a Personal Change Coach #YESICAN coaching with Karen, I support my clients with the opportunity to become their best selves.  I work on myself daily through self-care as well as caring for others. I have learned to be mindful and make choices that are meaningful for me and those around me.

Please join me in starting 2024 with developing opportunities of Kindness for yourself and others.

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

Yesican.ncr@gmail.com

440 526 1530