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http://www.lupus.org/ohio/events/entry/Dancing-with-the-Cleveland-Stars-August-Edition

Twenty-seven years ago, at this time, I was in the final stages of labor.  A baby boy that we had dubbed, Bart, was soon to emerge “Into the Light” and be officially named, Alexander Edwin Hale.  With Richard on my left, my wonderfully supportive mother-in-law, Loretta in the birthing room, and Stanley Pollack, MD taking the lead we were prepared for this wondrous occasion.  It had taken a while to get from A to B and finally to Z, despite the fact that Alex has an older brother by fifteen years his senior; time and different biological factors including dad’s, took a toll on conceiving and our emotional journey.

Just minutes before Alex’s emergence into the world, panic struck Dr. Pollack’s face as he noted the heart monitor for our precious cargo flatline.  I was unaware of anything as my epidural kept me pain-free and when I was told to start pushing, I just did as I was told, although I felt nothing while I sense the emergency in his tone while watching my husband’s face knowing there was no reason for alarm.  Rich was trying to get Stanley Pollack’s attention as he noted the monitoring belt on my swollen pregnant belly had come undone, thus the reason for the flat line.  However, within minutes at 9:31 am on August 17, 1990, Bart became, Alex Edwin Hale.

Unlike fifteen years before when my son Steve was whisked away and placed in a plastic bag for warmth, Alex was placed on my chest. I cradled him in my arms, and I introduced myself to him before he was temporarily removed to be cleaned-up, checked out and returned to his father and me.  In fact, before I held him, grandma Loretta held him. Loretta was an extraordinary person in our lives, and for the 17 plus years she was in Alex’s life she was an exceptional Gran, and we were blessed to have her in our lives.

Despite the rest I needed, Alex roomed with me so I could bond with him and my attempt to nurse my child was something I so desperately wanted to attempt.  I had read up on nursing and believed it would be in the best interest not only for his health and wellness but mine.  And so, rooming together was the first step.

That first night, a Friday in the year 1990, Alex met his big brother Steve, his Godparents Helen and Lanny Light, his Baube and Zayde and reunited with his Gran.  A big night for a little fellow who was not even twenty-four hours old.  He was drawing attention and gaining the love and approval from those he met.  Richard and I could not stop marveling over this little miracle that we “worked” so hard to conceive.

However, it was not smooth sailing…Within days, Alex was not nursing, and even bottle feeding was unsuccessful.  We went to lactation classes, and we both failed, and I had to feed him with a dropper, similar to a sick little bird.  His pediatrician nor the lactation specialist could figure out the situation, and yet a mother knows when there is something wrong with her child.  I kept asking questions only to be told not to look for problems.

One evening after inviting family over for a home cooked meal I sat down to feed Alex with the dropper, and he started projectile vomiting, and it was black (BLOOD).  We called into his pediatrician’s office, and we were told to come right in on a Sunday night.  Within minutes of a quick exam were ushered to UH Rainbow and Babies Children’s Hospital where Alex was admitted.  After a late night of testing, they prepared us for the worst a bowel obstruction which meant extensive surgery.  We sat among other parents going through the same or worst diagnosis’s, and we listened, and paced, drank coffee and coke holding our baby and dozing on and off.

It took two days to get a diagnosis which was rare in our circumstance, but Alex had Pyloric stenosis.  This is an uncommon digestive disorder in infants that blocks food from entering the digestive system.  Typically, if found it is found in the first-born male of the mother and Alex is my second born male.  It is corrected by surgery, and he had surgery.  Because he was my second born, they did not consider this diagnosis until everything else ruled out and a medical student actual felt the olive shaped pit in the intestine which is a giveaway symptom.

Now we had a healthy baby, or so we thought until Alex was about eighteen months old.  Although thriving well and happy, he had a habit of head banging.  Also, he had GI problems that his doctor felt required further diagnosis.  Alex was also prone to Strep throat and ear infections but did not register the feeling of pain until it reached the maximum fever pitch.  A visit back to Rainbow and Babies for intensive studies kept our precious toddler in the hospital.  Although he was not diagnosed with Autism or Asperger’s at that time, we did meet with Dr. Max Wiznitzer, and many of the symptoms were revealed.

1. An increased head circumference
2. GI Issues
3. Head Banging
4. OCD
5. Hyperactivity
6. Hi- Intelligence in areas beyond training

We came home with no diagnosis, and it was recommended we attempt to toilet train and watch for additional symptoms.  As with many males, Alex was delayed in potty training.  Once he was diagnosed on the spectrum, it provided us with answers why. However, our medical team never considered the early diagnosis.

First grade, Fire Drill!  Alex hides under his desk and will not come out.  His teacher practically had to pull him out from under his desk as he hovered holding his ears in terror.  We were called into the school.  This brings back memories of going to Sea World and Alex hiding under the seats in the arena of the Shamu Show; the echoes made his ears hurt.  Going to the circus was always an event. Alex enjoyed it until he got there, then the noise was so loud and the lights so bright he would bury his head in my lap.  It was at this meeting with the school psychologist that it was suggested Alex might have Aspergers / Autism.

1996 MY HEART SKIPPED A BEAT – MY PERFECT BABY BOY – NOW WHAT!

The last 21 years have been difficult.  However, they have been a journey that has led us to a life of promise, hope, and great love and affection as a family.  We have fought the devil of a diagnosis that we thought was our enemy until we (all of us) learned to embrace and accept that this is what makes Alex and us so unique, special, and US!  Without Autism, we wouldn’t be who we are today!

Alex didn’t just develop Autism in 1996, he was born with it, and we loved him in utero and from his emergence into our world that he shares with you.  He should not be judged for his diagnosis nor should we, but he has been and so have we as have so many others.  Autism is not a disease that is contagious. It is neurologic and sociological, and it is what makes us all special in this world.

Alex like many others will never be cured, but he adapts to the world around him just as we all should, and I ask each of you, to learn to be tolerant with the Alex’s of the world who may look different, think different, walk or talk in their unique manner.  Remember, if they are different to you, you are different to them as well.  Join in and wish them a Happy Day whether it is their birthday or not.  Don’t wait, tomorrow may or may not come.

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Dates u Never Forget

42 years ago today, a baby boy was whisked out of my arms, in fact, he had barely spent any time in my arms in the first 24 hours of his life.  However, just before he was 24 hours old, I was approached by the hospital pediatrician that my newborn son was being transported to the ICU at the Children’s Hospital in Cincinnati.  As a young mother, this being my first born I sat in my hospital bed in utter shock!  My husband at the time was home sleeping, and I was alone in a semi-private hospital room with tears streaming down my face and no sounds coming out of my mouth.  My brain went numb, and I thought I had died!

What was wrong?  My baby looked just fine, but I was told he wasn’t and no one knew what was wrong….it was suggested I call my family for support.

Just as the doctor said those words the phone rang, and it was my cousin Gloria calling to wish us well and to ask about baby Steven, at which time I gave out a mysterious scream that even chilled my blood.  Nursed and doctors came running into my room, and all I remember is someone taking the phone from me and talking to my cousin.  It sounded like a Charlie Brown cartoon…..it was all sounds no words and the blood-curdling scream kept resonating through my ears.

My husband arrived shortly after all this transpired and left soon after to be with our son, while I was still confined to bed.  My parents called wanting answers which of course I could not supply, and guilt sank in wondering what I must have done to create this situation.

Twelve days later Steven was released from the hospital, and he was pronounced to be a healthy and happy baby,  In fact, the whole time he was in the ICU, nurses, and doctors asked us why he was brought in, there was never a definite diagnosis.  The only reason given was a mistake in his birth record.  It was not noted he was a suction forceps delivery, therefore the cause of the enlarged soft spot that was misdiagnosed as encephalitis.  Once treatment began it had to be completed, however, he never was identified with any other symptoms.

Yesterday, my first born, celebrated his forty-second birthday, I am blessed.

“If you talk about it, it’s a dream, if you envision it, it’s possible, but if you schedule it, it’s real.”

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Helen and Evan – I should have called you

Momma – I’m Finally LEARNING

July 4th is the day we traditionally celebrate the Independence our forefathers designed for us as they established the Declaration of Independence 241 years ago.  However, for many of us today, the concept of Independence is not as idealistic as it once was and in fact, we have become cynical of what it truly means to be free to choose to have a voice and believe in what feels right for ourselves and our family without harm to our neighbors.  On July 4, 1776, without computers and the internet and twitter, our forefathers communicated with the American people.  Through dialogue they drafted this declaration that was to lead forward, it was the first step of many with amendments to adapt to change.  However, it is in my opinion, that rumbling we are feeling under our feet and in the skies this holiday weekend is our forefathers roll over in their graves.  They are trying to get our attention just as we are here at newclevelandradio.net.  It is time to bring you, our listeners what you want to hear, and allow you to share your voice in return.  Together we must come together and collaborate and become a powerful union.  We must accept our differences to build upon and mature not allowing our differences to destroy us.  Independence allows us the opportunity to explore the best in ourselves that will bring out the best in each other.

Join us in celebrating a “Positive Attitude.”

I have felt like a victim!  Well, that’s my fault!  I have come to the conclusion I am not the victim, and I want to create a dialogue show around the issue…

Are you a mother or father who feels like you have to do everything around the house, for your spouse, your children, parents, siblings, friends, etc.  Do you sometimes feel like you are the only one who is “doing” while others take personal time to nap, play video games, watch TV or ignore the dishes in the sink or even turn on the dishwasher?

Do you ask for help and then wonder why you have to ask for it, are you responsible for everything?  OR did you just assume all the responsibility?

Let’s get this discussion going. This morning when I came downstairs again, there were dishes in the sink, and the dishwasher cycle was complete. I knew that the subject in our home which left the dirty dishes in the sink could have unloaded the dishwasher and put the dirty dishes in the washer, however, without thought did not.  I add, without thought because I the self-imposed victim have shown time and time again that in the morning voila, the dishwasher is emptied and dirty dishes are placed inside.  (MAGIC MOM)

I no longer want to be a victim, so I must change, but I am not alone!  It’s time we have fun with this conversation, and I am looking for a couple of co-hosts, moms or dads to join me on newclevelandradio.net to talk about being the responsible one and wanting to make a change and “how do we do it!”  (All in fun!)  440-526-1530 KIKI