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Women’s eNews is running a series that I created: The Ovary Office. The intent of this series is to inspire and encourage WOMEN to run for office. While there are women who have thrown their hat into the Presidential ring, there are many women – in small towns and big cities across this Country – who are standing tall and standing up and fighting for justice. Women who know that mud will be slung, dirt will be dug up, and nasty and cruel words will be said about them. But run they must. For their rights, for human rights, for their children, for their friends and co-workers; for all of humanity. Perhaps you’re as exhausted as I am by the bully pulpit and men who not only disregard women, but treat women as second and third class citizens, men who believe that rape is God’s will, and abuse of power is their right.
Lori Sokol and I met a few years ago and just like that magic happened: we determined that we would try our very best to make this world kinder and better; that we would stand up to racism and sexism and homophobia and xenophobia and abuse of power, that we would create opportunities for all women to have a voice.
Lori Sokol is one of my very favorite Warrior SHEroes, and every single day without fail she rises – without fail – so in my world, my little corner of the world, Lori IS the occasion that I rise up to.
In order for The Ovary Office to continue it’s profound & important work – and for Lori (& WEN) to continue interviews and articles and making a ruckus – making sure women who run for office will be heard and seen and yes, voted in – money needs to be raised.
Lori will be reaching out soon through Women’s eNews and giving Tuesday and I hope that you can dig in a bit and donate to this extraordinary series.
We have the power to change the world, we do, through our words, through our actions, through our hearts, through our deep desire to take back this Country.
We are Mother Earth and we will not be destroyed or discarded or abused.
Those days are long over.
Hey reader, I have a question for you. What is it like, being cisgender in the tech industry? What sort of challenges have you faced? Do people treat you well? It must be really scary, being yourself in such a competitive and high-speed environment.
If you’ve never been asked these questions before, then congratulations; you are not an out transgender person who works in tech. In fact, it’s possible that you may have asked somebody else these questions in the recent past. That’s OK! It’s natural to be curious, and I’m sure you want to be a good ally to your trans coworkers. How will you know how to act if you don’t ask questions, right?
Today’s your lucky day, because I am going to tell you the definitive answer to “what does it mean to be transgender in the workplace?” After you read this, you will never have to ask another trans techie about their experiences, because you will already know the answer, and will be able to act accordingly.
Are you ready?
Being a transgender person in the workplace means having this exact conversation, over and over and over, forever. The question can only be answered by the question itself, ad infinitum. We often spend so much time justifying our presence to others that it begins to feel like our reason for being there in the first place. Why are we here? We’re here to tell you why we’re here.
I’m not here to make you feel bad for asking these questions. Well, maybe a little bit, but I want you to understand when your well-intentioned allyship stops being helpful and starts being intrusive. The fact of the matter is that we’ve got a job to do here, same as you; we just have a few more obstacles to maneuver around as we do it.
If you are serious about making your office a more inclusive environment, remember that changing these things is hard work. Your LGBTQIA+ coworkers will probably want to help or advise you, but it’s as unreasonable to expect them to do it all for you as it would be to have employees with mobility issues to commission handicapped parking spots. We can do it, but it’s not in our job description, and it’s an unnecessary amount of physical and emotional labor to demand of us on top of the actual work we are there to do.
With that in mind, here are some easy steps you can take towards making your workplace welcoming to transgender people. This list is by no means exhaustive, but you’ll find that even these small changes can have a remarkably positive effect on morale, engagement, and teamwork.
First and foremost, respect people’s pronouns. Yes, including the singular “they”, and yes, including ones you haven’t seen before. Consistently misgendering people is the fastest way to make them feel that they are in a hostile environment. Model correct pronoun use yourself, and reprimand cisgender employees who refuse to do so themselves.
Will you get pronouns wrong? Almost certainly. Contrary to what the media may tell you, transgender workers can tell the difference between mistakes and malice. When you do slip up, apologize, correct, and move on. Dramatic mea culpas do more to make us uncomfortable than using the wrong pronoun now and then ever could, because it makes us feel like the jerks in the situation.
An easy way to head off these confrontations is to normalize including pronouns when introductions are called for. This might seem odd to you; one complaint I’ve heard several times from cisgender people is “but my pronouns are obvious.” Good for you, but this isn’t the case for everybody. If the only employees in your company that introduce themselves with their pronouns are transgender, then that’s a way they are othered, a marker that they are separate from everyone else. By making pronouns a default part of introductions, then this barrier between cis and trans workers is torn down.
Does this seem like a lot? It really isn’t, but be prepared for pushback. For some people, even this small amount of consideration will be far too much. The people who push back hardest will probably surprise you; some of them will be people you’ve worked alongside for years, people whose politics you thought you understood. Transphobia isn’t limited to any side of the political spectrum, and can be found in even the most empathetic and liberal individuals.
This leads us to a harsh truth. Transphobia cannot be tolerated in the workplace, whether it manifests as refusing to respect a coworker’s pronouns or harassing them for using the correct bathroom. When it occurs, if you really are serious about fostering an inclusive environment, then your transgender employees will look to you for support. Be prepared to offer sensitivity and diversity training to employees who exhibit transphobic behavior. Stricter disciplinary actions may even become necessary.
Being an ally isn’t easy; as somebody once told me, it’s a verb, not an adjective. It means putting yourself out there, to serve as a shield between your marginalized employees and those that would harm them through actions and words. It also means being open to criticism, and accepting that you do not understand transgender people’s experiences the way you understand your own. If you have the strength, humility, and empathy, then you can make your workplace a beacon of inclusion.
A little Wednesday SHErmon for all of us humans who believe we need to shrink or cower or make ourselves small for someone else to be big or seen or visible; for those of us who allow others to take up more space thinking we’re being generous & kind when in truth we are being nice & yes, dare I say a bit fearful, for those of us who believe we are less than when in truth we are fucking epic and much more; we are so much more.
This post is for all the humans, every single one, who need to know that their lives are massive, huge, fierce as all mighty fuck.
The list of #NoMore
- Taking shit from anyone.
- Letting others cut ahead in line & in life.
- Being a doormat, a punching bag.
- Berating your life.
- Belittling your life.
- Begrudging your life.
- Bemoaning your life.
- Stepping aside, standing in the background, standing off to the side.
- Putting your glorious sexy messy life on hold.
- Selling yourself short.
- Accepting less than.
- Giving away the goods & the goodie bag.
- Letting others take what is rightfully yours.
- Believing the ‘blood is thicker than water’ bullshit.
- Believing you’re not enough.
- Carrying the burden of someone else’s shame & guilt.
- Allowing someone else’s abuse, cruelty to define you.
- Accepting crumbs.
- Living someone else’s version of the life you want to live.
- Believing all the bad awful ugly shit someone else says about you so they can feel taller and bigger and more powerful. Fuck that shit.
- Letting the bullies win.
- Living in the closet.
- Staying small.
- Staying invisible.
- Staying put.
- Staying silent.
Wearing clothes that don’t fit, shoes that are too tight, sweaters with moth eaten holes, jeans that no longer zip, tee-shirts with stains, panties that are torn and frayed, bras with underwires, boxer shorts with no elasticity, tattoos filled with hate; no more being uncomfortable in your own skin.
Believing your flaws and your fuck ups and your foibles and all your mistakes are who you are, and not how far you’ve come.
Republican: You Can’t Impeach Trump for a Crime He Does ‘All the Time.’ So re-elect a serial criminal next November? The Republican Party is now a criminal organization with a blind allegiance to a ruthless and evil bigot and racist. The Party of Trump is the Confederate Party reborn. America is facing a new Civil War and the Republicans have denied the memory of Lincoln. The future of our Democratic Republic is in grave danger. This week will determine if we still believe No One Is Above The Law.
You have to love this woman!
I woke up to a slew of comments from men who denigrated a woman who was assaulted; what vile words, what vicious and volatile comments. Just plain ugly.
I would like to remind all men out there – even the good ones, the kind ones, the generous and loving ones, even the ones who raised their children alone, the single dad’s – a little nudge this morning: we birth you, we bring you into this world; we nurture you and cradle you and coddle you; we feed you and hold you, we rock you when you’re in pain or can’t sleep; we are Mother’s Milk and Mother Earth.
Stop demeaning us, stop belittling us, stop battering us and bruising us, stop vilifying us, stop violating us, stop pushing us aside, pushing us into corners, stop slandering us, stop silencing us, stop beating us, stop assaulting us – verbally & physically.
We are mother’s and sister’s and co-worker’s and neighbors; we are wives and lovers and friends and partners.
Please, for god sake, stop hurting us.
We pushed & pushed & pushed and brought you into this world: say thank you.
When something goes wrong what do you do? You check it out and try to resolve the error! At least that is what I do- but no amount of check this, check that resolve the issues of our incoming sound not recording. The soundboard reflects that all is well, and even the software we use for our podcasting indicates it is working, but when played back you hear me LOUD and clear in the studio, but YOU the podcaster are not heard!
So I went to Guitar Center thinking it was a soundboard problem and I was prepared to purchase a new board ($$$$$,) however, they informed me the Professional Mackie Board we use is working well. We went through the connections, and we reviewed the levers and knobs, and they were ensuring that it was OK.
Rich and I came home and tested it again, and we still had problems, but we kept at it, and finally, we thought we had it FIXED. However, after two-plus recordings yesterday, we are still not working!
I am not sure if it’s the skype™ connection, the software, or Windows 10™ that recently updated. So I am ASKING YOU – I AM NOT TOO PROUD does anyone know anything about soundboards, recording software that has been working for three years and then one day it STOPS.
Podcasting here in the studio or remotely is not affected; however, more than ½ of our podcasts are recording using skype™ for the incoming line.
Suggestions are welcome please email email@example.com
Our newest podcast features musicians doing what they do best write, produce and share their art check this out.
In about one hour I will be using the Uber App (Morgan Malone) https://www.spreaker.com/show/lyft-diaries-morgan-lyft-uber-driver. Like many of you, I am not comfortable when it comes to doing something for the first time, especially if it means causing a problem for myself or others. When I decided I would use Uber to get me to the hospital this morning I was not anxious, in fact, I was feeling invincible that day, Helen Reddy – I Am Woman (1971) – YouTube.
However, last night I had to have my son Alex download the app and walk me through using it (easy peasy!) I also did a shoutout on Facebook asking how early do I need to request my ride since it is an hour away. My doctor only performs surgery on Mondays on the far west side of town, and I live South and East. Oh well! In addition to all this I know I am stressing because I have had a migraine since Saturday despite my monthly injection and meds. The medication has been working, so I am assuming that this is my brain and nervous system acting up.
Before a year ago I never had heard of Pelvic Floor therapy or surgery. It seems to be the new age surgery. “Pelvic floor reconstruction is a group of surgical procedures used to treat pelvic organ prolapse, a condition that occurs when the muscles of the pelvic floor are weakened or damaged, often due to childbirth. Other causes include repeated heavy lifting, chronic disease, or surgery.”
“Healing takes around three months, so during this time, I should avoid any task that can put pressure on the repair i.e. lifting, straining, vigorous exercise, coughing and constipation.
Although it is recommended to take six weeks off work, I plan to be at my computer tomorrow Tuesday; it’s What In the World with Paul Seaburn and his sidekick, John. https://www.spreaker.com/show/what-in-the-world-with-paul-seaburn-2019
I love my Cleveland Indians, and I have since the early 80s were when I moved from Cincinnati to Northeast Ohio. Born in Detroit, Michigan I grew up being a Tigers fan, and then I move to Minneapolis, and I followed the Twins because of Harmon Killebrew (https://www.baseball-reference.com/players/k/killeha01.shtml), my father’s name was Harmon too so of course, I rooted for them in the 60s. When living in Philadelphia I did not adopt the Phillies, I went back to my original home team the Tigers and continued to love the Tigers until I connected with my boys of summer, The Cleveland Indians.
The Indians were not a strong contender in the 80s, but they did put in the effort at the old ballpark where I first saw them play. When they moved to Progressive Field (known as Jacob’s Field in the day), I continued to root for them as Alex was introduced to the game as young as the age of 2. Each year they put in the effort sometimes more than others, but you can’t betray them, you must continue to support them in sickness and in health, reciting the vows of marriage to the players who give it their all!
Take me out to the Ball Game and let me root for the home team, “if they don’t win it’s a shame!” But remember, no one wins it all, all the time. Let us not judge but enjoy the spirit of the season with this group of talented players and staff who began in Grand Rapids, Michigan in 1894.
First, there was a team called the Cleveland Spiders playing from 1887 to 1889 at League Park, disbanding in 1889.
The Grand Rapids Rustlers became the Cleveland Lake Shores, and in 1901 they were known as the Bluebirds.
In 1902 another name changes occurred, and they were known as the Naps named by a newspaper write-in contest.
However in 1915, the team was renamed to the Cleveland Indians, The nickname “Indians” may reference the Cleveland Spiders baseball club during the time when Louis Sockalexis, a Native American, had played in Cleveland (1897–99).
As history goes the Indians have been good, great, and not so good! However, they are our team, and this is our hometown, isn’t it time we treated them with respect?
Please join me as the baseball season slowly comes to an end and support the men and women who are part of the Cleveland Indians organization. It takes a village, and the town the Dolan’s have built is one that I am proud to call my own!