WORD of the DAY 2023
The Word for the Day is TRY!
I cannot promise anyone, including myself that what I have on my schedule, my path for today will be achieved. As we all know and have experienced life comes with little surprises, it’s the bleeps on the radar that can take us off the track; walking in circles trying to find our way or taking the fork in the road that may not lead to the destination we thought we were aiming for.
On my podcast, Avoid the Maze, I have referenced on a number of the shows that as a young girl, age 9 -13, I pictured myself getting married one day and living down the street from parents. I clearly saw my husband and children having dinner at my parent’s house every Friday night, and on Sundays they would come to my home for brunch, bagels and lox galore. I identified with that plan until I was 14 years old and my family moved to Minneapolis. The pictures in my head changed over the years, and if I am honest they continue to, that is what living is all about.
Each day I wake up with some form of a plan, my work schedule and my husband’s are noted on our work calendar which prepares me for day, week, and month. Even though they may be recorded as important, or need to do, or want to do, they may not be completed if we change our paths.
Have you ever taken a walk through the park, and I choose the shortest path, you know if you TRY the shortest path, you will be successful. However, along the way you see something to your left and turn in that direction as you TRY to locate the ‘item’ that distracted you. Sometimes what we thought we saw never appears again and now it is up to us to try to determine if this is the right path or not. If it’s not, what can we learn along the way. You’ve heard the expression, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” Each adventure even if it was considered wrong, finding a positive element means. ‘WE TRIED’.
For the last couple of months I have wandered off my path, some days walking in circles and other days not moving at all. Hindsight has revealed to me that I intentionally made the choice to wander, and develop new milestones just by trying. The success I have witnessed is being less of a stickler, and onloading what I have called my OCD habits, to be less rigid and more mindful of my emotions.
All I can do is try to find the path that best suits me without the risk of loss for the people around me who may be surprised by the changes in my daily routines. I am trying to be more flexible and adaptable and enjoy the moments when I have nothing planned or turning something planned into something else. I have the choice to feel free as the wind or to establish a task that is pleasing to me.
What Have you Tried Today?
 Is it a mirage -something that appears real or possible but is not in fact so.  To try means to make an attempt – trying is not winning or losing!  To make a selection
The Word of the Day is FRIEND
39 years ago today, Richard, my best friend and soul mate and I got married in Rabbi Isenberg’s office with Dave & Debbie Meredith standing up for us (although at the time it was a secret). The marriage in the Rabbi’s study was planned by Rich and I as the court date to secure being my oldest son’s (Steve) primary legal guardian was scheduled for the following week. The family therapist and my attorney both agreed in 1984 that going to court married would be an added benefit for retaining custody in the Cleveland area.
The following week when we went to court – the judge approved that the custody arrangements remain as they were and Steve would continue to live with us as his primary home. Did we need to get married? No! But we did, because we loved each other, and we were (and still are) best friends. On that rainy Friday morning, February 3, 1984, Rich was not in love with me, and I did not want to get married to retain custody. I wanted the Judge to approve the status quo because Rich and I were providing him with a happy home.
Once the court session was over and the status did not change – Rich and I began talking of having a wedding and inviting friends and family to join in our love and friendship. We began seeking venues and ideas for another service and reception. Unlike many couples at the time we chose to do everything on our own from the venue, food choices flowers, photography as well as my dress and the blue contacts he got so I would look at eyes and see a deep blue and magic would happen. (It turns out Rich had a difficult time with the contacts and they were worn one time prior to the wedding and never again.)
We asked Rabbi Cherise to marry us as Rich and I formed a bond with her at the Temple and she led the conversion classes I attended with Rich, although I asked him not to convert, which he did not. Our love has nothing to do with religion.
In July on or about the 15th of the month I will write about our second wedding. What you should know about wedding number one, is that we went into giving each other permission to end our relationship as Rich continued to say he loved me but he was not IN LOVE WITH ME.
Even on July 15th as we said our “I Do’s”, what may have been missing in love was secure with compassion and friendship.
So why did we get married twice well I think it was to show family and friends and ourselves that this relationship was meant to be. We have been through some lows and found ourselves challenged to the point of frustration, but we have never given up. Our marriage is the one thing that Rich and I know we can count on. We have accepted that we may not agree and we may get angry but in the end we kiss and make-up. Rich was not and is not my Knight in Shining Armor. He is the part of me that has completed my Whole!
The Word of the Day is APPRECIATION
In July of 2022 Rich was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. He was told he was in the very beginning stages (1 or 2) of the disease, and he could wait to see if it stabilized or have it treated. Treatment could be AGGRESSIVE, or PINPOINT RADIATION 5 days a week for 9 weeks would non-evasive. We chose the RADIATION, as we both wanted to ensure that the CANCER Treatment would do its work, KILLING the CANCER.
Today Rich went for his first check-up, Radiation Concluded on January 6th. He took a PSA test on Thursday and today he met with his Urologist. His PSA prior to Radiation was 4.1, today it is 1.7 and dropping. His level should be blow 1.0 within 6 – 12 months of finishing treatment. (WE ARE APPRECIATIVE!)
[PSA levels under 4 ng/ml are generally considered normal, while levels over 4 ng/ml are considered abnormal. PSA levels between 4 and 10 ng/ml indicate a risk of prostate cancer higher than normal. When the PSA level is above 10 ng/ml, risk of prostate cancer is much higher.]
We are Appreciative for Rich’s Doctor for providing the guidance for the treatment and to the Cancer Center for treating him and providing him with positive energy. Waking up at 4 am to get to the Center by 6:30 am for nine weeks was worth it when we received the good news today!
To all our friends and family please take your health options seriously. I know that sometimes we choose to ignore symptoms and believe no news is good news. The truth in knowing what is or isn’t allows us to make choices. Rich had a variety of choices to treat or not treat his Cancer. Together we took the time to review his options and make a choice.
Rich’s younger brother also had prostate cancer. His was not caught early, and his only choice was radical surgery. His brother had additional health issues that led to his early death this past December. Rich and his brother Dave were total opposites. Richard has always been proactive with his health where David chose to ignore his medical history.
Today I am Appreciative that Rich and I can continue to plan and play and continue to make memories together. We know there are NO GUARANTEES, but we continue to make choices to keep us healthy and together!
The Word of the Day is BELIEVE
I remember a quote I learned penned by Theodore Hetzel, “If you will it, it is no dream.” This quote was directed at the founding of Israel as the Jewish Homeland. Although my belief mays not be as lofty as my ancestors wanting a land to identify with, my wishes may be and unless I believe I can obtain them they may slip through my fingers.
If you believe in a peaceful world and dream of the many ways this could become a reality it begins with the will to make the first step. Don’t wait for someone else, begin the journey and others will follow. Sometimes we need to set the pace. And if you believe and no one follows, let me take their path while you are honest with your beliefs.
I have shared that when I was younger I didn’t have the self confidence that I embody today. I grew up in a community where it appeared to me that someone (everyone) was better than me. Because I assumed I wasn’t worthy I created my own sadness while believing someone else was causing my tears. It’s not unusual for pre-teens/teens/and young adults to compare themselves to others and identify with being less of a person. Our society has encouraged those thoughts selling images rather than authentic values.
Well today I am not as influenced as I once was with the media, social as well as through advertisement. Today I tend to use my brain to filter through the other beliefs and weight the situation. The more accurate information I obtain will provide me the awareness and step through the process. To believe does not ALWAYS lead to the pot of gold. We may have a vision and believe in the process and the end results, however not all pots are equal.
Someone suggested to me she once had a goal to own a Ferrari, however what was important to her than is no longer. Today she wants to drive a Ferrari around the racetrack, and she believes she can and will. When her dream/goal was to own a Ferrari, she had no plan to achieve it. Her plan to drive the Ferrari begins in her network and she is taking one step/contact at a time. She is a believer and so am I.
The Word of the Day is BLAH
There is nothing wrong but today is what I call a BLAH Day. Nothing ‘bad’ has occurred in fact I wish for a day like this often and yet when it comes about I feel like something is missing when in fact it’s a day where I don’t have to do anything, and yet my brain keeps trying to tell me to do something, something productive. I know we all need down time, to get out of the hamster cage and slow down. However, I have programmed myself to believe that busy equals a step up the ladder to success.
The word success means to complete a task; accomplish an item towards your goal/purpose. My goal and purpose for today was to be laid back, so if I feel BLAH is that a bad thing, or a positive manifestation for today.
The word BLAH refers to something boring or without meaning and yet I am not truly bored and my life has meaning…So why then do I feel out of sorts?
I know why! My parents laid the groundwork for busy and even my father’s daily naps were part of the routine. Back in the day before cellphones and my mother planned her day around working, shopping, cooking, and phone calls. After dinner my mom had her routine of calls to her sister Annie, (some days she added her sister Jean), her girlfriends were called as well and it may have been Rosie one night, Blanche the other, and Sylvia the next. Occasionally her busy schedule include a Maj night out or a meeting with one of the many organizations she was actively involved in. At least one night a week you would catch my mother at her sewing machine until 11 pm or midnight, completing an outfit for herself, me, or one of friends or family members who requested something new. My dad’s busy began getting up early in the morning to be first in the bathroom and prepare for work. For many years his busy time came after he dressed for work and before his morning coffee. He would Davin (saying the morning prayers to G-D, the divinity.) Dad’s was mapped out that even his after to dinner nap was part of his schedule.
Just because my parents were SOOOOOOOO busy, I have finally accepted that keeping yourself active and engaged in things that provide you the positive energy to enjoy your life, is the key to happiness. When we add tasks to our list that provide us with little to no energy, we find ourselves associated BLAH with something negative and it doesn’t have to be…
As I sit here writing about my word of the DAY I am enjoying the memories flashing in front of my eyes of my mom still dressed from work and often still in her heels, sitting in the kitchen with the long telephone cord, as she chit chats with my Auntie Annie (Deja Vue’), I think I heard this conversation yesterday, and maybe the day before. I can visualize my Pops napping in ‘his’ recliner snoring softly while Dragnet or Wagon Train played on the TV. When dad woke he had time to answer our questions we may have about our homework or something that happened to us during the day. Part of his routine was to a bed time snack always prepared by his loving wife, my momma who would stop mid-stream on whatever she as doing , threw something yummy together.
So my BLAH has now turned to smiles and pictures filming in my head and reminding me that we are all busy in our own way walking towards our dream!
The Word of the Day (Feeling of the Day) Pressure
Although I have worked very hard on being mindful, and in touch with my physical, emotional, and mental health this week has been difficult for me. I have been explaining myself repeatedly to those around me (in my home) and those I work with (colleagues and clients) as well as friends and strangers in various locations I have been to. At one time I would blame this ANGST on the Grey Skies and Cold of a Cleveland Winter, and yet I refuse to do that because the feelings I have are not from Meteorological Cosmos.
Personal Intelligence has shown be that something is brewing, and I may or may not know why and if I want to change the state of this feeling, the word I have chosen for today, I need to tap into it and I hope this blog will lead me there.
I see in front of me many opportunities all coming with CHALLENGES that I wish were not there. However, since they are blocking my path, I have to find a way to slay them or turn them into opportunities.
I have recently learned that empathy, exploration, innovation, navigation, and, activate are the Sage Powers of Positive Intelligence – a 6 week course I have attended and I recommend highly.
The empathy must be for myself as well as for others so the connects I am making will have a combination of emotions (it is not one sided.)
It is time for me explore and process in ways I may have restricted myself from doing in the past. This means exploring what I know and what I am learning and find a path where the positive and negative meet to create a stronger thought process.
I can be innovated, I do not have to take the same road, journey that others may choose to follow. Mindfulness will provide with several paths (ideas) to follow, and this is my opportunity.
The tools I have gained along the way will allow me to navigate the path I am traveling down. It may not be easy, but the GPS will provide me with the chance to go forward or take the multi-prong fork in the road.
And with the knowledge I have I need to take this opportunity and activate it and see where it leads me.
There is not one outside force that is pressuring (maybe many that I have not connected to) me as I attempt to leap forward. I know we talk about baby steps but the baby steps I have been taking for months has not been positive and I must take the fork in the road and run, leap, at my pace. My activation sage will see me through the process as I proceed.
Today I announce freely that I am reaching out to the many Coaches I have worked with on Avoid the Maze, and the many individuals that have reached out to newclevelandradio.net thanking me (and my podcasters) for sharing information that has not only be enlightening but has allowed them to find more positivity in their daily life. Today is the day I offer up my services to be the COACH ADVOCATE I created. Please accept me into your circles, I will help connect you with a variety of coaches that I hope will fit your needs. I will do the vetting for the Coaches and help them streamline doing what they do best COACHING! What I do best is help you in seeking out the best coach for your current needs. Today I ask you to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org I will set up a time to meet with you over zoom and we will talk about coaching as well as your expectations. Let me assist you in becoming the person you want to be if you are struggling with the how’s and whys of change.
As the month of January is fading into the distance let’s choose to be our best and to live our lives with purpose.
YOU ARE MY PURPOSE. Let me take the pressure off you as we focus on the positive.
My Word of the Day is TIME!
How often have you said “I need more time to do this…” Have you wished that there was more then 24 hours in a day? Why is that some of us fill up our time often pushing ourselves over the edge?
I used to be envious of others who use a Day-Timer, or some form of calendar that captured all the To Do’s and What If’s in one holy grail of a book. When I began tracking what I perceived had to be accomplish each day, I felt as if I was on my way to SUCCESS. (Boy, was I wrong.)
My large (Maroon) Day-Timer held so much information that I felt I was in overload each day and my OCD tendencies required me to fill up my hours and not allow excuses to change my “Holy Grail”.
To be honest I was not able to accomplish all I planned in an 8- or 9-hours day and soon I was expanding my day to 12 hours putting in time to eat (usually on the GO) and to spend time with my husband and son. I was sure I was Super Women, the problem I had was I had no time to launder my CAPE.
Little did I know at the time I was creating not only bad habits, but also poor health issues. If I think my sleep pattern is poor now, it was worse. I kept my Day-Timer next to my bed and every time I woke up thinking of something I would write it down. Sometimes when I wrote it my brain was not functioning with my hand and the scribbled notes would take a chunk of my TIME each day to decipher it.
With Smartphones, laptops, and iPads, I became more enthralled with filling up my hours so I could show off to others how busy I was/am to prove I was on the path to Success, another word I will address soon.
As some of you may know specifically if you follow me on social media and or listen to the podcasts at newclevelandradio.net, I am working very hard at breaking the myths of Success. For instance, this weekend working my IT Sales/Support job, I had a goal to train a minimum of 8 employees during my 4-hour shifts at the store. Knowing that training is the last thing employees want to do, and management wants their staff to do, I chose to go in with the mindset that I could do this. Instead of adding it to my calendar, I accepted it was already on my calendar for my time at the store. Before proceeding with my task, accepting this was not an extra step I was adding to my workload. My approach was I am here to do this now and my attitude was I will do my best. I did not allow myself to be pressured as time ticked away on electronic watch as well as my laptop. Day 1 Saturday I was able to train 6 individuals, this meant that on Day 2, Sunday my goal was to train 2 or more and again I didn’t need more hours in the day because this task was included in my 4 four-hour shift. Day 2, not only did I train 3 staff members upon arrival, but I also trained an additional 5 (and all this with little effort except for a positive mindset.)
Last year I chose to start a new podcast at newclevelandradio.net, “Avoid the Maze”. At the same time, I joined Podmatch.com where I have met some wonderful coaches, mentors, podcasters, and podcast guest. In all my excitement I began booking podcasts that were filling up my days (and this also included the podcasts that are part of the newclevelandradio lineup. Additionally, I was recovering from some health issues, my husband was diagnosed with early-stage prostate cancer, and our son was moving out of state. My electronic calendar was constantly reminding me of one more thing I had to do…or did I?
June, July, and August, my favorite time of year is all a blur. I added to the mix a seminar series on, “Personal Intelligence”. I was so consumed with everything else on my plate I was not giving myself the opportunity to learn, or at least that is what I thought. However, I while continuing with ‘PI’ I realize that I was learning and using the techniques that are helping me make changes that enhance my ‘time’.
Personal Intelligence has provided me with a better understanding as to why I do things the way I do and to be more mindful of my actions and interactions with other people. I have been open to seeing what I may have been ignoring and possibly missing out on. Thinking more clearly and allowing myself ‘to change’ even though change can be intimidating.
One of the major changes I have chosen is to look at is my “time” in a more productive manner. My calendar does not need to be full, from the moment I get up until I lay my head on my pillow at night. It’s ok to have items/chores/tasks on my calendar but I must be willing to give myself the “OK” if I chose not to do something or move it to another day and time. It is about choosing when to say YES and when to say NO to myself.
My OCD tendencies have been my biggest challenge. Spending much of my life trying to be successful so other people would like me, has not worked. I have been a do it now person as well as constant volunteer and saying YES to prove I Can Do It! This behavior has worn me out and made me angry, because I was not taking the necessary breaths I needed. My oxygen mask was being used by everyone else except me.
Join me in learning how to use TIME wisely. Join me in learning how to enjoy the little successes and not dwell on the big ones. Today my biggest success may be writing this blog. If you were to look at my calendar, there will a number of other tasks to complete today – but I have a CHOICE!
Selfcare – self-care includes everything related to staying physically healthy — including hygiene, nutrition, and seeking medical care when …
- Take a Nap
- Eat Healthy
These are just a few ideas as we begin 2023