WORD of the DAY 2023

Word of the Day was influenced by Gary Moss – https://just4thespellofit.com/word-of-the-day/

The Word for the Day is MOVEMENT

If I am moving life is good.  I got up and walked down to the kitchen where I proceeded to make my iced coffee for the day.

At 4:45 am when my alarm went off on my phone, I walked upstairs to remind my husband it was time for him to rise and shine for work.

At 6:15am I made breakfast for my husband, and I warmed up a muffin for him and a cinnamon roll for myself (the cinnamon roll did not agree with my stomach!)

At 6:45 am I kissed my husband goodbye wishing him a good day.

I proceeded to the living room where I sat down to watch the last segment of The Diplomat.  I hope they continue with the story!

By 9 am I was showered and dressed, put a load of laundry in the washer (and that damn cinnamon roll is still wreaking havoc with my stomach!)

Since my daily/business computer is at Geek Squad getting setup again due to some errors in the original setup, I am working on my previous computer, which is not as nice as my Samsung i7 EVO…

Now, back to the word of the day. I believe it is important for all of us, despite any disabilities we have we can find something in our being to move.  Your legs, arms, eyes, mouth, and for those that can, wiggle your ears.  It may even be the thought of movement and getting your brain thinking and creating.  With movement we can make what looks like a grey and cloudy day into a day of sunshine.  Look out at the clouds and know on the other side of the grey sky is that big yellow ball of fire we call the sun.

When my internal alarm clock goes off, I get up and move around.  I can always find something that needs to be completed and that just might include Netflix.  Making that first move of the day is your way of welcoming new beginnings.  Each day is a gift we receive and it is up to us to make it our best.

 

 

 

 

 

Word for the Day is Confusion

Have you ever noticed that your way of explaining something or learning something new is different than how others perceive the same information?  I have been struggling over some directions for a project I am working on. The documentation is 100 pages plus and yet there is this quick guide that is one page long however it is not complete – except for a small portion of the project.  And the information in the additional 99 plus pages is poorly written and the screen shots provided are not exactly the same as what you will encounter when attempting the project.  Yes I say attempting because I have not been able to get a large portion of this assignment completed and or correct.

Every time I ask for help, and yes I am asking (not too proud), I get a lot of verbiage that is not answering my questions confusing me further.  So today I tried again and reached out to the lead on the project who masterly confused me and without suggesting that I go to page 30 and follow the directions up to page 40 that I will be successful, however that it was I have garnered from his Gobble -D Gook!

I don’t mind making mistakes if I can learn from them however, when the instructions are not clear and you guess at each step – well that is Confusing and Frustrating, but I will leave the word at CONFUSING.

I love to bake and using a cookbook is the best way to learn to cook and bake.  A well-written cookbook will identify the ingredients you need to complete the project.

Then it will provide instructions that may state – add 1 cup of butter into the mixing bowl.  Add 1 cup of sugar with the butter run the electric mixer on medium to high and allow the butter and sugar to look smooth and creamy.  Each step tells you what to add, how to add it/mix-it as well as describe the consistency.  If you don’t like to follow instructions learning how to cook and bake may not be the activity for you, but it can teach you how to follow instructions.

Instructions should be laid out simply for the first time user and as you repeat the instructions over time you will also learn how to add your personal touch, taking a short cut it needed or wanted.

When we become confused, confusion can lead to frustration, frustration to anger, as well as poor self judgement on our abilities.  Life need not be filled with misunderstandings and together we need to learn to communicate with each other and that begins with listening and not assuming.

The next time you are feeling confused step back, avoid the maze but looking around and looking for the clues that brought you to the place of uncertainty.  Sometimes the clear answer is in front of us and all we need to do is step away and look at it from another angle and sometimes that includes asking for HELP!

 

 

Word for the Day is Home

Today I traveled with my husband for an assignment in the Detroit area.  Last week when he accepted this assignment the weather was warm and balmy in Cleveland, today when we left at 9 am it was rainy, windy, foggy, and cold.  Arriving in the Detroit it is icy, flurries, cold and slippery.  What should have been a 3 hour trip between weather and construction took 6 hours.  Upon arriving he was told I could not assist him as the bank to not authorize me.  I was planning on meeting up with our friend Dennis after the assignment but now I am sitting in a Starbucks while Rich goes off to his assignment.  Dennis is meeting up with me and I am sure when Rich finishes this project he will be exhausted.  Luckily, we did get a room for the night …

The word HOME has many different meanings for me.  I was born in Detroit and lived here until I was 14 years-old, we lived in St. Louis Park, MN, for four years and I returned to the Detroit area (Oak Park) for the last three months of my senior year, living here until I got married (to husband 1) in 1971.  Detroit is home because my parents and grandparents lived here and are residing at Machpelah Cemetery in Ferndale, Michigan.  Great grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and my baby niece Laurie are laid to rest there as well.

I have lived in the Cleveland area the majority of my life and although it is where my home is my heart is still here with my Bagley School Mates, many of us are connected through Facebook despite the city, state or country we may be residing in. I have cousins in the area as well as friends who are my surrogate family met through youth group 60 yeas ago.  (How can that be I don’t feel like I am about to turn 73 this Saturday.)

Home to me is where I share my heart.  To my classmates and youth group friends in Minnesota, I am grateful for our Facebook connection as well and many of you have taken a piece of my heart and I feel blessed.  One such friend is Carol Wexler Kalnow, who now lives in Ohio, small world!

Home is also in Chicago, Fort Worth, Southern California, and Saratoga Springs…My children, brothers and their families are a significant part of my life and purpose.  Purpose is the reason for taking the steps towards the future.  Purpose gives us hope and allows us to set a direction and timeline.  Purpose is the Reason we choose to be self-aware.  With purpose comes intention and the intention is ours.  Being home whether in my physical house or with the people who provide me purpose, happiness regains in my heart.

Word of the Day is Appreciation

To truly appreciate something or someone it is important that you are mindful.  If you just begun reading my Word for the Day page, please note as a human with flaws, I do not write or post daily.  I am working to add this to my daily tasks, however; some days I just don’t feel like writing, or I allow myself to become hijacked by other thoughts, situations, and individuals.

The training I took through Positive Intelligence this past summer and continue to work on in a small group weekly chat has opened doors for me, some of which I did not realize were closed.  I love the fact that by listening to our brain we are Happy, Sad, or teeter tottering between the too.  Sometimes SAD is so far down into a black hole it feels as if we will never see the light of day again (depression/anxiety).  Even happiness can be negatively perceived as we question all the Whys, Shoulda, and Coulda’s.  However, this 6-week training and the continued discussion within a small group setting has opened my eyes. (There is a big beautiful world in front of me and I can learn to enjoy it!)

The Judge is often our own thinking, hearing the voices from years past, like in the cartoons of the 50s with the Devil (Negative Voices) on one shoulder and the Angel (Positive Voices) on the other.  When we are mindful, we can listen and choose what path we want to take.  The opposite is true when we allow the negative chatter to dominate our thoughts.  Unlike a therapy session, this group coaching practice on Positive Intelligence may be the answer for so many of us who shut ourselves off.  (Since taking the course I have learned so much about myself, the most important thing is I have a voice.)

When the word Appreciation came into my realm of thinking today, I believe it was because I have chosen to be mindful.  Mindfulness allows me to see and hear and evaluate my thoughts and decisions.  When my thoughts are mine, and not those of others around me or past negative thoughts still in my head; that is when Appreciate my capabilities of being right or wrong as I navigate down the path of my choice.

I have a lot to APPRECIATE, life may have it’s ups and downs but when you allow yourself to venture for those UP Moments….

The Word of the Day is two Words, I CAN!

I have a history of saying “I Can’t” but every time someone needs help I don’t stop to think if I CAN OR I CAN’T, I volunteer!  This has caused me nightmares and some harm along the way because I was not taught that we learn from our failures, so I always had to find away at minimum complete the task at hand.

Let me provide a quick story.  I have been working as a training, sales support, product influencer for almost 6 years.  Recently I was told of an additional project I could lend my time to (and get paid) I chose to jump in head first.  After feeling like a failure due to the many hardware and software issues I encountered I chose to quit.  However, with in a week I ask the lead on the project if I could come back.  I chose to return because I noted something in the project documentation that indicated many of the problems I was facing were not issues for me to deal with and I was to concentrate on what I could do, not on what I couldn’t do.  Now this is not my attitude in life.  It is important for me to do a task well and see it through completion.

Last week I returned to this assignment and I concentrated on what I could accomplish and not what I couldn’t.  I took the initiative to document the information to explain why certain tasks were not completed/ not ignored/ but observed for a future remedy.

With this mindset I am not going into the project feeling defeated and if fact when I walk out now I am proud of what I can do.  I had to remind myself I am only human and I have a variety of skill sets.  It is important to be self-aware.  I need not make excuses and it is not about right or wrong it’s being able and confident to see the glass half-full.

For me gaining confidence began with listening to the people around me and choosing who complimented my needs and who didn’t.  I realized that I had a circle of people that included too many negative thinkers and that enhanced my poor self-image.  Over the last two years I have been treated for an autoimmune condition and the medication blew me up like a big balloon.  When I looked in the mirror and stood on the scale I wanted to cry but I had to accept that this was temporary and it was important to treat the disease.  I found that I had to focus on other “things” that I saw in my reflection.  I focused on my eyes, my hair that I’ve been growing out and I wore clothing that had some camouflaging results if only in my eyes.

I began looking inside and bringing out what was meaningful to me and when necessary prepared by asking questions and asking for help.

When I chose these two words for today, I saw myself, just like Marlo Thomas in “That Girl” finding her reflect on the Marque in NYC; and Mary Tyler Moore, smiling and twirling and throwing her hate in the air.  To be confident is to be yourself, the one you love.

 

The Word of the Day is ME

The word ME is not a selfish word, even if the subject is about thinking about ME!  How often do we take care of our personal needs, not including:

Brushing our teeth, taking a shower, dressing appropriately in clean cloths, and starting the day with a cup of coffee.

When do we go above and beyond the routine, taking a moment to breath in, hold, and release to remove the toxins in our mind and body?  When do we allow ourselves a few more moments of sleep/rest before taking care of someone else?  When do we stop and look, and listen for the beat of our heart?  And when do we stop listening to the voices in our head that say, “NO”, “CAN’T”, “STOP”, or “Who the Fuck do you think you are?”

When did I buy-in to the bullshit that helping everyone else was my purpose in life while putting myself last?

When did I last look in the mirror without seeing, fat, ugly, and stupid?

In 2006 I accepted a job from a private college as a High School Presenter.  It was my job to go to local high schools and talk to 11th and 12th graders about the importance of a college degree and hopefully signup at the college for which I worked.  I love presenting and answering their questions honestly and my success at the college led to a full-time recruiter.  I was good at my job and within a year it was my career.  However I was feeling like a fraud working at a college and only having an Associates Degree.  In 2008 I took a year of online Educational Credit courses convincing myself I could study, learn and retain so why not finish my degree.  In the Fall of 2008 my youngest son was a Freshman in College, my husband re-enrolled to complete his Degree and move on to a Masters, and I did the same.  This is the third time in my life I took a leap forward for ME!

The first was my divorce in 1978, scared shitless and alone, I knew I was not happy, I felt unloved by my husband, and I need to escape.

The second time was meeting my current and last husband, and picking up and moving into his circle, I needed a new start.  (40+ years ago)

In the Fall of 2009 I was convinced I could manage college, work, family, and whatever was thrown at me and began my journey to a Bachelor’s degree and a Master’s License in the field of Communications.

Until recently I may have said I did these three things but I was selfish.  Divorce was not easy on me but caused problems for my oldest son.  Meeting my current and last husband, moving to his city with my oldest son but I did it despite the consequences that came with it.  Receiving my degree often meant that some of the tasks I did at work and home suffered a bit, but I always found a way to pick up the pieces.

Since my youngest son’s diagnosis in 1996 of being on the Spectrum (at that time it was called Asperger’s, today it is now as on the Spectrum,) I became his advocate trying to slay dragons and often get burned by their angry fire.  Even today as he is navigating life in a city that feels strange, and loving his new job (career) and the accolades that come with it, I find that the ME I want to be gets diminished with his needs (as well as others).

In a perfect world I would not feel as if I was being pulled in directions I do not want to travel, and yet I am the only one who has the chose to take another path.  This is my journey, and my journey includes the interruptions from people I care about and for.  It is my choice when to say yes or no.  I have learned that I am not making good choices when I am not mindful of my response.

I am not selfish; I am creating boundaries to keep ME safe.  If I need time to take a nap, a walk, or listen to music, or say NO, it is to provide me with the strength I need to keep moving forward.  I am the only one who decides if I am Happy or Sad.

There may be someone who is trying to take a piece of me for their needs and it is important that I am self-aware and choose ME!

When I choose ME, I will consider if you may walk the path along side of ME.

 

The Word of the Day is Music

There has always been music in my life.  My father was a would be poet lyricist and he was forever producing something for someone’s birthday, or mitzvah of any kind.  My dad was even ballsy enough to send a poem to President Richard Nixon and to President Jimmy Carter.  He may have written to others but those two I remember well, and wondered what they thought of, Words by Harmon.

I chose the word music because of my relationship with the many sounds that speak to my heart.

What is the true meaning of music?

music. noun. mu·​sic ˈmyü-zik.: the art of producing pleasing or expressive combinations of tones especially with melody, rhythm, and usually harmony.

When I was younger I could carry a tune and singing and swaying to music brought me happiness.  I would often close my eyes and dream of performing on stage, or dancing with my Prince Charming in the most Romantic Way.  I was part of Glee Club all the way through 12th Grade, and I considered taking a music performance class in college, but I got cold feet.  I was diagnosed with thyroid disease when I was 20 years old and I have sub total removal of my thyroid gland in 1970.  As I was recuperating from surgery I went through a voice change and learned that my vocal cords were nicked and my voice and range were impacted by it.  Although I didn’t think much of it over the years when I have tried to sing the notes I could hit early on are just not available to me.  Possibly if I been treated by a voice specialist I might be singing in and out of the shower.

However, when I know I am not irritating others I sing/ especially alone in my car.  Music is the medicine that sooths me and directs me to see things/life more clearly.

Today I was honored to have Lauren Taslitz and Danny Ursetti on my podcast, to very talented writers and producers of music. I shared with them that I grew up in a home that played records and I watched my mother and father dance in the living room to music of Como, Sinatra, Mathis, and more.  My brother Joel has been in the music industry as a performer, engineer, producer, writer, etc., for most of his life.  My oldest son manages music groups (mostly alternative music), and my youngest has performed, as well as writes lyrics to the sounds playing in his head interrupted by other fellow musicians who assemble it as one piece.

And while I was podcasting, Burt Freeman Bacharach an American composer, songwriter, record producer, and pianist passed away at the age of 94.  He lived a good life, a long life, and he left behind music that will be part of our tapestry.

As I age I am more aware of the talent that has left this sweet earth and I kindle those memories to keep their spirit alive.  Tonight, the lyrics, “What the World Needs Now is Love, Sweet Love!” plays in my head – I heard the melody and Burt’s expertise at the piano… I pray his beautiful music will provide us a path of goodness and begin turning our lives around so we can experience Love in our World.

Burt Bacharach – I Say a Little Prayer© lyrics

The moment I wake up Before I put on my makeup I say a little prayer for you While combing my hair, now And wonder what dress to wear, now I say a little prayer for you Forever, forever, you’ll stay in my heart And I will love you Forever, and ever, we never will part Oh, how I’ll love you Together, together, that’s how it must be To live without you Would only mean heartbreak for me I run for the bus, dear While riding I think of us, dear I say a little prayer for you At work, I just take time And all through my coffee break-time I say a little prayer for you Forever, forever, you’ll stay in my heart And I will love you Forever, and ever, we never will part

Oh, how I’ll love you Together, together, that’s how it must be To live without you Would only mean heartbreak for me I say a little prayer for you I say a little prayer for you Forever, forever, you’ll stay in my heart And I will love you Forever, and ever, we never will part Oh, how I’ll love you Together, together, that’s how it must be To live without you Would only mean heartbreak for me My darling, believe me For me there is no one, but you Please love me, too I’m in love with you Answer my prayer Say you love me, too. Why don’t you answer my prayer? You know, every day I say a little pra

 

The Word for the Day is TRY!

I cannot promise anyone, including myself that what I have on my schedule, my path for today will be achieved.  As we all know and have experienced life comes with little surprises, it’s the bleeps on the radar that can take us off the track; walking in circles trying to find our way or taking the fork in the road that may not lead to the destination we thought we were aiming for.

On my podcast, Avoid the Maze, I have referenced on a number of the shows that as a young girl, age 9 -13, I pictured myself getting married one day and living down the street from parents.  I clearly saw my husband and children having dinner at my parent’s house every Friday night, and on Sundays they would come to my home for brunch, bagels and lox galore.  I identified with that plan until I was 14 years old and my family moved to Minneapolis.  The pictures in my head changed over the years, and if I am honest they continue to, that is what living is all about.

Each day I wake up with some form of a plan, my work schedule and my husband’s are noted on our work calendar which prepares me for day, week, and month.  Even though they may be recorded as important, or need to do, or want to do, they may not be completed if we change our paths.

Have you ever taken a walk through the park, and I choose the shortest path, you know if you TRY the shortest path, you will be successful.  However, along the way you see something to your left and turn in that direction as you TRY to locate the ‘item’ that distracted you[1].  Sometimes what we thought we saw never appears again and now it is up to us to try to determine if this is the right path or not.  If it’s not, what can we learn along the way.  You’ve heard the expression, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” Each adventure even if it was considered wrong, finding a positive element means. ‘WE TRIED’.[2]

For the last couple of months I have wandered off my path, some days walking in circles and other days not moving at all.  Hindsight has revealed to me that I intentionally made the choice to wander, and develop new milestones just by trying.  The success I have witnessed is being less of a stickler, and onloading what I have called my OCD habits, to be less rigid and more mindful of my emotions.

All I can do is try to find the path that best suits me without the risk of loss for the people around me who may be surprised by the changes in my daily routines.  I am trying to be more flexible and adaptable and enjoy the moments when I have nothing planned or turning something planned into something else.  I have the choice[3] to feel free as the wind or to establish a task that is pleasing to me.

What Have you Tried Today?

 

[1] Is it a mirage -something that appears real or possible but is not in fact so.

[2] To try means to make an attempt – trying is not winning or losing!

[3] To make a selection

The Word of the Day is FRIEND

39 years ago today, Richard, my best friend and soul mate and I got married in Rabbi Isenberg’s office with Dave & Debbie Meredith standing up for us (although at the time it was a secret).  The marriage in the Rabbi’s study was planned by Rich and I as the court date to secure being my oldest son’s (Steve) primary legal guardian was scheduled for the following week.  The family therapist and my attorney both agreed in 1984 that going to court married would be an added benefit for retaining custody in the Cleveland area.

The following week when we went to court – the judge approved that the custody arrangements remain as they were and Steve would continue to live with us as his primary home.  Did we need to get married?  No!  But we did, because we loved each other, and we were (and still are) best friends.  On that rainy Friday morning, February 3, 1984, Rich was not in love with me, and I did not want to get married to retain custody.  I wanted the Judge to approve the status quo because Rich and I were providing him with a happy home.

Once the court session was over and the status did not change – Rich and I began talking of having a wedding and inviting friends and family to join in our love and friendship.  We began seeking venues and ideas for another service and reception.  Unlike many couples at the time we chose to do everything on our own from the venue, food choices flowers, photography as well as my dress and the blue contacts he got so I would look at eyes and see a deep blue and magic would happen.  (It turns out Rich had a difficult time with the contacts and they were worn one time prior to the wedding and never again.)

We asked Rabbi Cherise to marry us as Rich and I formed a bond with her at the Temple and she led the conversion classes I attended with Rich, although I asked him not to convert, which he did not.  Our love has nothing to do with religion.

In July on or about the 15th of the month I will write about our second wedding.  What you should know about wedding number one, is that we went into giving each other permission to end our relationship as Rich continued to say he loved me but he was not IN LOVE WITH ME.

Even on July 15th as we said our “I Do’s”, what may have been missing in love was secure with compassion and friendship.

So why did we get married twice well I think it was to show family and friends and ourselves that this relationship was meant to be.  We have been through some lows and found ourselves challenged to the point of frustration, but we have never given up. Our marriage is the one thing that Rich and I know we can count on.  We have accepted that we may not agree and we may get angry but in the end we kiss and make-up.  Rich was not and is not my Knight in Shining Armor.  He is the part of me that has completed my Whole!

 

The Word of the Day is APPRECIATION

In July of 2022 Rich was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer.  He was told he was in the very beginning stages (1 or 2) of the disease, and he could wait to see if it stabilized or have it treated. Treatment could be AGGRESSIVE, or PINPOINT RADIATION 5 days a week for 9 weeks would non-evasive.  We chose the RADIATION, as we both wanted to ensure that the CANCER Treatment would do its work, KILLING the CANCER.

Today Rich went for his first check-up, Radiation Concluded on January 6th.  He took a PSA test on Thursday and today he met with his Urologist.  His PSA prior to Radiation was 4.1, today it is 1.7 and dropping.  His level should be blow 1.0 within 6 – 12 months of finishing treatment. (WE ARE APPRECIATIVE!)

[PSA levels under 4 ng/ml are generally considered normal, while levels over 4 ng/ml are considered abnormal. PSA levels between 4 and 10 ng/ml indicate a risk of prostate cancer higher than normal. When the PSA level is above 10 ng/ml, risk of prostate cancer is much higher.]

We are Appreciative for Rich’s Doctor for providing the guidance for the treatment and to the Cancer Center for treating him and providing him with positive energy.  Waking up at 4 am to get to the Center by 6:30 am for nine weeks was worth it when we received the good news today!

To all our friends and family please take your health options seriously. I know that sometimes we choose to ignore symptoms and believe no news is good news.  The truth in knowing what is or isn’t allows us to make choices.  Rich had a variety of choices to treat or not treat his Cancer.  Together we took the time to review his options and make a choice.

Rich’s younger brother also had prostate cancer. His was not caught early, and his only choice was radical surgery.  His brother had additional health issues that led to his early death this past December.  Rich and his brother Dave were total opposites.  Richard has always been proactive with his health where David chose to ignore his medical history.

Today I am Appreciative that Rich and I can continue to plan and play and continue to make memories together.  We know there are NO GUARANTEES, but we continue to make choices to keep us healthy and together!

The Word of the Day is BELIEVE

I remember a quote I learned penned by Theodore Hetzel, “If you will it, it is no dream.”  This quote was directed at the founding of Israel as the Jewish Homeland.  Although my belief mays not be as lofty as my ancestors wanting a land to identify with, my wishes may be and unless I believe I can obtain them they may slip through my fingers.

If you believe in a peaceful world and dream of the many ways this could become a reality it begins with the will to make the first step.  Don’t wait for someone else, begin the journey and others will follow.  Sometimes we need to set the pace. And if you believe and no one follows, let me take their path while you are honest with your beliefs.

I have shared that when I was younger I didn’t have the self confidence that I embody today.  I grew up in a community where it appeared to me that someone (everyone) was better than me.  Because I assumed I wasn’t worthy I created my own sadness while believing someone else was causing my tears.  It’s not unusual for pre-teens/teens/and young adults to compare themselves to others and identify with being less of a person.  Our society has encouraged those thoughts selling images rather than authentic values.

Well today I am not as influenced as I once was with the media, social as well as through advertisement.  Today I tend to use my brain to filter through the other beliefs and weight the situation.  The more accurate information I obtain will provide me the awareness and step through the process.  To believe does not ALWAYS lead to the pot of gold.  We may have a vision and believe in the process and the end results, however not all pots are equal.

Someone suggested to me she once had a goal to own a Ferrari, however what was important to her than is no longer.  Today she wants to drive a Ferrari around the racetrack, and she believes she can and will.  When her dream/goal was to own a Ferrari, she had no plan to achieve it.  Her plan to drive the Ferrari begins in her network and she is taking one step/contact at a time.  She is a believer and so am I.

The Word of the Day is BLAH

There is nothing wrong but today is what I call a BLAH Day.  Nothing ‘bad’ has occurred in fact I wish for a day like this often and yet when it comes about I feel like something is missing when in fact it’s a day where I don’t have to do anything, and yet my brain keeps trying to tell me to do something, something productive.  I know we all need down time, to get out of the hamster cage and slow down.  However, I have programmed myself to believe that busy equals a step up the ladder to success.

The word success means to complete a task; accomplish an item towards your goal/purpose.  My goal and purpose for today was to be laid back, so if I feel BLAH is that a bad thing, or a positive manifestation for today.

The word BLAH refers to something boring or without meaning and yet I am not truly bored and my life has meaning…So why then do I feel out of sorts?

I know why!  My parents laid the groundwork for busy and even my father’s daily naps were part of the routine.  Back in the day before cellphones and my mother planned her day around working, shopping, cooking, and phone calls. After dinner my mom had her routine of calls to her sister Annie, (some days she added her sister Jean), her girlfriends were called as well and it may have been Rosie one night, Blanche the other, and Sylvia the next.  Occasionally her busy schedule include a Maj night out or a meeting with one of the many organizations she was actively involved in.  At least one night a week you would catch my mother at her sewing machine until 11 pm or midnight, completing an outfit for herself, me, or one of friends or family members who requested something new. My dad’s busy began getting up early in the morning to be first in the bathroom and prepare for work.  For many years his busy time came after he dressed for work and before his morning coffee. He would Davin (saying the morning prayers to G-D, the divinity.)  Dad’s was mapped out that even his after to dinner nap was part of his schedule.

Just because my parents were SOOOOOOOO busy, I have finally accepted that keeping yourself active and engaged in things that provide you the positive energy to enjoy your life, is the key to happiness.  When we add tasks to our list that provide us with little to no energy, we find ourselves associated BLAH with something negative and it doesn’t have to be…

As I sit here writing about my word of the DAY I am enjoying the memories flashing in front of my eyes of my mom still dressed from work and often still in her heels, sitting in the kitchen with the long telephone cord, as she chit chats with my Auntie Annie (Deja Vue’), I think I heard this conversation yesterday, and maybe the day before.  I can visualize my Pops napping in ‘his’ recliner snoring softly while Dragnet or Wagon Train played on the TV.  When dad woke he had time to answer our questions we may have about our homework or something that happened to us during the day.  Part of his routine was to a bed time snack always prepared by his loving wife, my momma who would stop mid-stream on whatever she as doing , threw something yummy together.

So my BLAH has now turned to smiles and pictures filming in my head and reminding me that we are all busy in our own way walking towards our dream!

 

The Word of the Day (Feeling of the Day) Pressure

Although I have worked very hard on being mindful, and in touch with my physical, emotional, and mental health this week has been difficult for me.  I have been explaining myself repeatedly to those around me (in my home) and those I work with (colleagues and clients) as well as friends and strangers in various locations I have been to.  At one time I would blame this ANGST on the Grey Skies and Cold of a Cleveland Winter, and yet I refuse to do that because the feelings I have are not from Meteorological Cosmos.

Personal Intelligence has shown be that something is brewing, and I may or may not know why and if I want to change the state of this feeling, the word I have chosen for today, I need to tap into it and I hope this blog will lead me there.

I see in front of me many opportunities all coming with CHALLENGES that I wish were not there.  However, since they are blocking my path, I have to find a way to slay them or turn them into opportunities.

I have recently learned that empathy, exploration, innovation, navigation, and, activate are the Sage Powers of Positive Intelligence – a 6 week course I have attended and I recommend highly.

The empathy must be for myself as well as for others so the connects I am making will have a combination of emotions (it is not one sided.)

It is time for me explore and process in ways I may have restricted myself from doing in the past.  This means exploring what I know and what I am learning and find a path where the positive and negative meet to create a stronger thought process.

I can be innovated, I do not have to take the same road, journey that others may choose to follow.  Mindfulness will provide with several paths (ideas) to follow, and this is my opportunity.

The tools I have gained along the way will allow me to navigate the path I am traveling down.  It may not be easy, but the GPS will provide me with the chance to go forward or take the multi-prong fork in the road.

And with the knowledge I have I need to take this opportunity and activate it and see where it leads me.

There is not one outside force that is pressuring (maybe many that I have not connected to) me as I attempt to leap forward.  I know we talk about baby steps but the baby steps I have been taking for months has not been positive and I must take the fork in the road and run, leap, at my pace.  My activation sage will see me through the process as I proceed.

Today I announce freely that I am reaching out to the many Coaches I have worked with on Avoid the Maze, and the many individuals that have reached out to newclevelandradio.net thanking me (and my podcasters) for sharing information that has not only be enlightening but has allowed them to find more positivity in their daily life.  Today is the day I offer up my services to be the COACH ADVOCATE I created.  Please accept me into your circles, I will help connect you with a variety of coaches that I hope will fit your needs.  I will do the vetting for the Coaches and help them streamline doing what they do best COACHING!  What I do best is help you in seeking out the best coach for your current needs.  Today I ask you to email me at newclevelandradio@gmail.com  I will set up a time to meet with you over zoom and we will talk about coaching as well as your expectations.  Let me assist you in becoming the person you want to be if you are struggling with the how’s and whys of change.

As the month of January is fading into the distance let’s choose to be our best and to live our lives with purpose.

YOU ARE MY PURPOSE.  Let me take the pressure off you as we focus on the positive.

My Word of the Day is TIME!

How often have you said “I need more time to do this…”  Have you wished that there was more then 24 hours in a day?  Why is that some of us fill up our time often pushing ourselves over the edge?

I used to be envious of others who use a Day-Timer, or some form of calendar that captured all the To Do’s and What If’s in one holy grail of a book.  When I began tracking what I perceived had to be accomplish each day, I felt as if I was on my way to SUCCESS.  (Boy, was I wrong.)

My large (Maroon) Day-Timer held so much information that I felt I was in overload each day and my OCD tendencies required me to fill up my hours and not allow excuses to change my “Holy Grail”.

To be honest I was not able to accomplish all I planned in an 8- or 9-hours day and soon I was expanding my day to 12 hours putting in time to eat (usually on the GO) and to spend time with my husband and son.  I was sure I was Super Women, the problem I had was I had no time to launder my CAPE.

Little did I know at the time I was creating not only bad habits, but also poor health issues.  If I think my sleep pattern is poor now, it was worse.  I kept my Day-Timer next to my bed and every time I woke up thinking of something I would write it down.  Sometimes when I wrote it my brain was not functioning with my hand and the scribbled notes would take a chunk of my TIME each day to decipher it.

With Smartphones, laptops, and iPads, I became more enthralled with filling up my hours so I could show off to others how busy I was/am to prove I was on the path to Success, another word I will address soon.

As some of you may know specifically if you follow me on social media and or listen to the podcasts at newclevelandradio.net, I am working very hard at breaking the myths of Success.  For instance, this weekend working my IT Sales/Support job, I had a goal to train a minimum of 8 employees during my 4-hour shifts at the store.  Knowing that training is the last thing employees want to do, and management wants their staff to do, I chose to go in with the mindset that I could do this.  Instead of adding it to my calendar, I accepted it was already on my calendar for my time at the store.  Before proceeding with my task, accepting this was not an extra step I was adding to my workload.  My approach was I am here to do this now and my attitude was I will do my best.  I did not allow myself to be pressured as time ticked away on electronic watch as well as my laptop.  Day 1 Saturday I was able to train 6 individuals, this meant that on Day 2, Sunday my goal was to train 2 or more and again I didn’t need more hours in the day because this task was included in my 4 four-hour shift.  Day 2, not only did I train 3 staff members upon arrival, but I also trained an additional 5 (and all this with little effort except for a positive mindset.)

Last year I chose to start a new podcast at newclevelandradio.net, “Avoid the Maze”.  At the same time, I joined Podmatch.com where I have met some wonderful coaches, mentors, podcasters, and podcast guest.  In all my excitement I began booking podcasts that were filling up my days (and this also included the podcasts that are part of the newclevelandradio lineup.  Additionally, I was recovering from some health issues, my husband was diagnosed with early-stage prostate cancer, and our son was moving out of state.  My electronic calendar was constantly reminding me of one more thing I had to do…or did I?

June, July, and August, my favorite time of year is all a blur.  I added to the mix a seminar series on, “Personal Intelligence”.  I was so consumed with everything else on my plate I was not giving myself the opportunity to learn, or at least that is what I thought.  However, I while continuing with ‘PI’ I realize that I was learning and using the techniques that are helping me make changes that enhance my ‘time’.

Personal Intelligence has provided me with a better understanding as to why I do things the way I do and to be more mindful of my actions and interactions with other people.  I have been open to seeing what I may have been ignoring and possibly missing out on.  Thinking more clearly and allowing myself ‘to change’ even though change can be intimidating.

One of the major changes I have chosen is to look at is my “time” in a more productive manner. My calendar does not need to be full, from the moment I get up until I lay my head on my pillow at night. It’s ok to have items/chores/tasks on my calendar but I must be willing to give myself the “OK” if I chose not to do something or move it to another day and time.  It is about choosing when to say YES and when to say NO to myself.

My OCD tendencies have been my biggest challenge.  Spending much of my life trying to be successful so other people would like me, has not worked. I have been a do it now person as well as constant volunteer and saying YES to prove I Can Do It!  This behavior has worn me out and made me angry, because I was not taking the necessary breaths I needed.  My oxygen mask was being used by everyone else except me.

Join me in learning how to use TIME wisely.  Join me in learning how to enjoy the little successes and not dwell on the big ones.  Today my biggest success may be writing this blog.  If you were to look at my calendar, there will a number of other tasks to complete today – but I have a CHOICE!

Selfcare – self-care includes everything related to staying physically healthy — including hygiene, nutrition, and seeking medical care when …

  1. Take a Nap
  2. Eat Healthy
  3. Exercise
  4. Smile
  5. Participate
  6. Inclusion

These are just a few ideas as we begin 2023