11 January 2026

Why Do I Keep Saying Yes? A Lesson I’m Still Learning

Sometimes the only honest place to begin is with a question: Why?

Why am I doing work you’re fully capable of doing yourself?
Why do I jump in to help when my own needs go unnoticed?
Why do I expect you to know what I want without me ever saying it out loud?
Why am I so afraid of “flipping your switch”—or is it really my own switch I’m trying not to trigger?
Why do I feel anger rising in me while you sit there smiling, untouched by the weight I’m carrying?

And the biggest question of all: Is the problem you… or is it me?

These are the moments that send me back to my journal, back to my blog, back to the work I do as a Life Coach. Because the truth I’ve learned—over and over—is that most of the time, the issue isn’t “them.”
It’s us.
It’s the patterns we’ve built.
It’s the roles we’ve rehearsed for decades.
It’s the quiet ways we allow ourselves to be used, even unintentionally, because we’re trying to keep the happiness scale balanced.

Today was one of those days.

I was sitting in my office doing tasks for my husband. He never asked. I volunteered. At first, it felt fine—helpful, even. But the deeper I got into it, the more irritated I became. Not with myself, but with him. And that’s when I had to pull the brake.

Not on the task.
On my reaction.

If I’m going to be angry, the anger belongs with me.
I took on something I didn’t need to take on.
I expected him to say, “No honey, I’ll do it.”
He didn’t.
And why would he? I already said I would handle it.

It reminded me of old workplace patterns—me hunkering down to do my job and someone else’s, while they watched gratefully from the sidelines. No one offered help because I had already stepped into the role.

I’m still learning—sometimes the hard way—when to offer, when to step back, and when to say no. I’m also learning not to blame others for the expectations I create.

So, I paused.
I breathed.
I looked out my office window and let the wind carry away the frustration, the disappointment, the heaviness in my chest. Anger has a way of settling into the body, and I could feel exactly where it lived. With each breath, I let it move out.

And then I remembered something I’ve known for years but still forget:

The toughest enemy I’ve ever faced is myself.
There is no room in my life for self‑punishment.
Not anymore.

Letting go—physically and emotionally—isn’t easy. But it’s necessary.
And it takes time.

So, if you’re reading this and recognizing yourself in these words, take this as a gentle reminder:

• Give yourself grace.
• Understand your patterns.
• Release the anger that isn’t serving you.
• And breathe your way back to yourself.

#yesican Coaching with Karen