AMY FERRIS _ Thanks for the Smile and Hope
Even though I am bone tired, truly bone fucking tired I am thankfully not worrying about iKen today, so thankful that I can put that – worry – into a box & close the lid for the time being – so, I’m gonna try my best to encourage you with some good shit.
Here’s what I know, or more appropriately what I knew when I opened my eyes this morning: for three years plus now fear has been the very foundation of this travesty of a regime led by a fucking bully. The man who lives in the White House has been filling stadiums – rallies – spreading fear & hate, inciting violence, encouraging anti-semitism and sexism and misogyny and homophobia, igniting anger and vitriol. For three years he has thrown a match onto the embers and he acts and speaks and tweets with such disdain and such disregard for humanity.
And now here we are – fear manifested: we can’t touch or hug or love each other in person. We can’t visit loved ones who are sick, we can’t fly to see friends who hold our hearts in their hands, we can’t go to concerts or movies or festivals or restaurants. We can’t fall in love and hold that human – who we have waited for – in our arms. We isolate and hibernate and keep a distance. We wear masks and gloves and stand six feet apart and those who are dying from this horrific pandemic are now six feet under. Six feet, how ironic.
Here’s the good shit:
We get to wake the fuck up.
We get to wake up to our own heart, our own desires, our wants and our needs and think about what it is we want this world, our world, to look like – how we want it to look and feel and smell like. Because right now we get to sit with our own lives, our own hearts and souls and decide how we want to live from this moment on. From this moment on. Right now we get to choose a different path, choose a different mate if the one we’re with is causing us grief or abusing us, abusing the privilege of our lives; right now we get to say no, no more, to what and who causes us suffering & unwanted pain, we get to say yes to what and who we have wanted but have been afraid of wanting, right now we get to awaken that very thing that has been laying dormant in our bodies and our souls because other folks didn’t think it or us were good enough. Fuck that. Right now, while we are sitting in our homes or apartments or on a bench outside inhaling some fresh air – isolating, hibernating, keeping the world at bay, at arms length – we get to have personal time to go in deep and excavate and bring out what we have abandoned, what we left for dead, what we gave up on; that dream, that human, that creative path, that piece of writing that needs to be written or rewritten, that canvas that needs some color, the piano that needs tinkling, that song that needs to be written and sung, that dance that needs a bit more choreography, that voice that needs to be heard.
So let’s try to stop worrying incessantly – I know, almost impossible – and let’s put the fear in a corner somewhere for the time being – I know, I know, it’s the “when hell freezes over” concept – but still, let’s try and let’s find the beauty within our own lives and start thinking about who we wanna be and what we want this world to look like and how we want to live and how we wanna love because when this virus slows down and starts to retreat we – we, the humans – get to create a better world for everyone – everyone – and please, for the sake of all fuck, do not let anyone, not one soul, ever tell you again that you can’t do or be what you have dreamed of doing and being your entire life because now, right now, is the opportunity for us to stand in that truth.
The life that you led that you did not like, that no longer fit you, that needed to expand and grow but was kept in a small little box – that life you do not have to go back to; let us all create a bigger and better life because the worst that can happen is that we go back to mediocrity and the fear that is the very foundation of this Presidential regime.
Be fucking huge.