Being a Widow – Part 5

My name is Karen, and I am a widow.

I am still Mrs.  Historical etiquette considers it proper to continue to honor your marriage and the legacy of your husband.  According to the late Emily Post, a widow’s title does not change after her husband’s death.

Historically, Mrs. has been considered the proper and respectful title for a widow who wishes to continue honoring her marriage and her husband’s legacy. Even Emily Post affirmed that a widow’s title does not change after her spouse’s death.

However, in modern times, some women feel that “Mrs.” defines them too narrowly or signals that they are unavailable for companionship. They prefer “Ms.” as a way to reclaim their identity. And that is perfectly valid. The point is simple: we have a choice. No woman’s identity should be dictated by societal norms or assumptions — not in marriage, not in widowhood, not ever.

The same truth applies to wedding and engagement rings. For many of us, these rings are not just jewelry; they are part of our story, our skin, our heart. They carry emotional weight and the history of a life built with intention. There is no rule — written or unwritten — that requires us to remove them. They were given in love, and they remain ours in love.

Some argue that rings are identity markers, symbols of a commitment between partners. And yes, our vows included “in sickness and in health… until death do us part.” But death does not erase devotion. When the heart stops beating, the relationship changes form — it does not disappear. Many widows and widowers continue to honor their vows even as they evolve, heal, and redefine themselves. We carry the energy of love forward. Our vows transform, and so do we. How we are addressed, and whether we wear our rings, is a deeply personal decision.

As a widow, I am not technically single, nor am I married in the traditional sense. I am not divorced. I am placed in a category society calls “widow,” a word that often conjures an outdated image of an old woman draped in black — a picture that does not reflect who most of us are.

I took my vows to Richard and lived them fully. We walked through life with mutual devotion, clarity, and courage. I held his hand for decades, through joy and through the unimaginable. And now, I choose not to crumble. I am on a healing journey, living my vows in a new way — by honoring that life still matters. Not just for me, but for you too.

This is my journey.

If you are walking this path too, I invite you to join me.

#YesICan Coaching with Karen

Email: Kh.yesican1@gmail.com