Sunday Morning and Wide Awake

The healthy rule of thumb is that we all need a good solid 8 hours of sleep per night.  Our brain needs to rest and refresh.  Sadly, my mind is on 99% of the time, and it battles the concept of sleep even when I feel depleted.  It’s not that I don’t sleep at all, and I am not sure that is humanly possible.  However, when tired I fall asleep and continuously wake up every 45- 6o minutes.  Today, Sunday, August 12, 2018, I crawled out of bed at 5 a.m. with the hope that I would feel drowsy soon after and climb back into bed.  No such luck, it is almost 7 a.m., and I have answered emails, followed up on some show notes and have played a couple of hands of MAJ.

Soon I will be putting on my exercise garb and head over to Anytime Fitness (Sagamore Hills) and get my groove on.  I have become obsessed with wellness and despite the lack of sleep.

About a year ago I asked a RUNNER why they ran.  To me, it looked not only exhausting but almost like torture to the body.  The answer she provided me with as do other runners I have met is that running is something you do for yourself.  If you prefer being outdoors rather than on the treadmill it provides you the opportunity to observe nature through sight, smell, and sounds. Needing a change in my life at that time, wanting to lose weight and be fit I started the journey to observe running.  I began with walking (outdoors) and loving my solitude even when walking in the rain or the gloomy chill of early winter.  However, as the seasons changed into a bitter snowy winter, I began the journey at Anytime Fitness.  Within a month I was hooked, and then I became ill and had to take a hiatus.

At the end of April, I was given the green light to begin again, and I did!  However, this time I added the APP – Lose It, and life is even brighter.  What I have learned is if you want something badly enough you will make the changes and take the steps that will lead you to what is essential.  For me, it always has about liking myself so others would like me, but most of my life I did not like me.  I always wanted what “she” was having even if I didn’t like it.  I used to believe if I could be more like “her” my life would be complete.

Now, I want to be like me and make the choices that inspire me to be the best I can be, and that does not mean better than YOU or anyone else.  I wake up and choose to live and enjoy the day, and when I hit the downs (which is normal), I seek out a new path to turn things around.

I had shared in the past that in 1968 when I graduated and started college my parent’s hopes and dreams were that I would get my teaching degree and an MRS.  Little did my parents know I was studying communications and broadcasting.  After two years of college and struggling through the deception, I told my parents I had been lying, and despite illness, I had completed an Associates Degree.  My parents assumed I had wasted good money and refused to let me continue on their dime.  However, as many moms and dads of that generation, they were pleased that I was also earning my MRS.

To sum it all up, I thought I was happy and convinced myself that this was my journey. However, it changed numerous times, including divorce.

For me, the sun shines on the gloomiest of days when I am true to myself, and that means putting myself first without being selfish.  In the past, my time was for everyone else, now I am included, despite the lack of sleep.

Oh well…it’s just sleep.




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