Finding Happiness #YESICAN Coaching with Karen
12/8/24 YOUNGER?
I have been watching a series on Paramount+ called, ‘Younger’, it’s about a young woman in her forties who is divorced with a college age daughter who has been a stay-at-home mom raising her daughter but now finds herself single and looking for a job after years out of the market. When she is turned down for various positions (illegally but due to her age), she is convinced by a friend to lie about her age. She does, she poses as a 26-year-old in a millennial world, lands a job but now must continue to lie as she passes off as young woman in an AGEST Society.
Have you ever thought, ‘if only I was younger’? Then what? Are we ever at the right age at the right time? And why do we have to focus on a number, shouldn’t we all be living at our best using our abilities to gain the personal success we chose to achieve? It’s never to late to make changes as the world continues to evolve so do we as individuals.
There once was a time I would have said this is all bunk, that we chose our paths early on and the fork in the road was for others, not us. However, at the age of 50 I landed a job in a youthful atmosphere, and I began working with high school juniors and seniors as a college presenter. At the time my youngest son was a junior in high school and my oldest son was in his early 30s advancing his career. Just as both of my sons were venturing into uncharted waters so was I and I felt like a young teen myself. I jumped into this new position with anticipation and hope and dug deep into my abilities to be my best self. I worked at this job for almost ten years when I was pushed towards the exit door. I allowed my younger counterparts in the office to make me feel less of the person I was and had grown to like. Please note I use the word allowed, because I fed into their comments, and I allowed it to destroy myself esteem. That was before I read this quote; “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt.
As I walked out of my corporate America job that provided me and my family with a nice salary, I cried until I kicked myself in the butt! Actually, it was my youngest son who share the words with me I had always used with him, “You can be the person you want to be, ignore the noise around you.” That was my wake-up call and today I share that with whoever wants to listen and choose to be happy.
Happy, happiness is an emotion, and we CAN control our emotions if we build our toolbox to carry with us through life. We have choices and even when we experience the hurt that comes through the actions and words of another, it is our choice to either let go or hold on to what causes us pain. The question we must ask ourselves is this how we want to feel and if the answer is no, open the toolbox and use the screwdriver to make some adjustments, or take out the file to smooth the edges, or the hammer to secure connection. Do whatever it takes…
The series I am watching continues to go on from season to season and I have spent a lot of time bingeing, but it is teaching me that if we are not authentic with ourselves we cannot expect others to be truthful with us. When we look at ourselves in the mirror we see our reflection and that includes the clothing we have chosen to wear, or the style of our hair, or any other embellishments that we may have added. That reflection is only who we are now. It is our inner self that is authentic and sometimes coaching is the first step to the happy emotion.
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
[email protected]
https://newclevelandradio.net/yesican-a-personal-coaching-journey/
440 526 1530
11/28/24 Thanksgiving Day
Happy Thanksgiving to all – While traveling to Saratoga Springs I sat in the back seat listening to ‘other’ podcasts to hear new and different material as well as to learn from others providing the same media services we do at newclevelandradio.net. One of the podcasts was on dealing with the stress of the season whether it be the weather changes, the holiday with family and friends, or the Elephant in the room known as politics and religion.
The podcaster a young woman from Mexico, her family legally migrated here many years ago and they are and have been U.S. citizens for year. She shared that she and her parents do not hold the same political views, and they have resolved the communication in this way.
- Do not try to convince each other to change sides- your beliefs are your beliefs, and you have a personal system of analyzing your thoughts and developing your conclusions.
- Find some common threads such as you want to be healthy, what is your plan to move forward, listen without judgement and support the commonality. The majority of people wish for happiness, peace and health.
- Happiness is an inside job, we al must find what stirs those emotions and use that energy to provide that emotion for ourselves. With happiness we often see smiles and gestures of kindness and be open to absorbing those positive vibes.
- Keeping controversary out of the conversation will provide peace. This young woman talked about playing games to cut the stress and tension that may occur. Refrain from judgement because you are opening yourself up to be judged as well.
- Find the space you need to take a deep breath, stretch and or just move away to settle any unhealthy thoughts. This includes not allowing others at your table to bully you to eat something that you don’t want. Just say something like, “let me think about it”, or “looks good but I am full right now”. No more explanation!
- If you are spending the holiday solo and feeling sorry for yourself – ask yourself how you can change this for the next holiday. Just one little thing that you can do, it may be letting others know you have spent the day alone.
- Some people like to use holiday time to spend in quiet solitude. This is their time to read, write, binge watch, connect with nature or just slow down from their fast-paced life.
I love being with family and I have learned to be an observer. Normally I am very involved in conversations connecting to diverse individuals. However, my immediate and extended family can be so diverse that it is difficult for me to follow their conversations as they are all talking at once and I can feel lost. One of those reasons is that I wear hearing aids and as great as they are sometimes the confusion with multiple people talking becomes difficult for me to decipher. And this leads me to another point to take in consideration.
When you are out celebrating whether in a small circle or a large gathering there will be people who speak in different dialects, use words that may not be appropriate in our thoughts, or maybe experiencing episodes of ADHD, or Bipolar which can alter the atmosphere and mood within seconds. We must be mindful and stop with the judgement that turns a fun time into something ugly.
The time spent with others is not a singular event it should encompass all who have come together.
I wish you happiness – dig deep and find it. Make someone Happy – That Means U!
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
[email protected]
https://newclevelandradio.net/yesican-a-personal-coaching-journey/
440 526 1530
11/12/24
In 16 days, many of us will be sitting down to a Thanksgiving dinner. The holiday is often a time for family and friends to feast and express gratitude. However, not everyone is privileged to have a family or friends to celebrate as the Hallmark™ cards, and movies imply. If you are one of the privileged and please know it is a privilege, maybe it’s time to extend a kindness to someone less privileged such as the elderly and the misplaced veterans of our society.
I have felt misplaced in the past even when I was not totally alone. For many years my husband and I had part-time jobs that included working the Wednesday night before the holiday as well as black Friday. For weeks prior to Thanksgiving, I would hear all the chatter of family/friend’s gatherings as I prepared a table for three (for my husband, son, and myself). I wanted to return to the family home I grew up in that was always festive at holiday time despite some of the heated discussions that might occur (with love). However, my family was scattered hundreds of miles from my home and my choices were limited. Friends in the area assumed that I too would be joining a festive dinner!
For many years I felt alone and abandoned and worked so hard to make our little family meal meaningful. Despite my work hours a Thanksgiving feast was made, maybe not with a full-size turkey, but a roasted turkey leg for my son, and a shared carved turkey breast for my husband and me. Of course there were all the trimmings, and too much food for three people. We did keep one tradition that stemmed back to my dad, brothers, uncles, and cousins, we would watch the Detroit Lions football game and bet on how much they would lose by. (They were known for losing!)
Today as I look back at that handful of years feeling displaced by our circumstances, I now realize how blessed I was, and I understand the difference of feeling alone and feeling lonely. Yes, I missed what I thought everyone else was experiencing while not being mindful of what I had. I recognize now how easy it is to make ourselves sad when we have the energy to make ourselves happy. It may not be easy, but we can obtain the tools to turn the sad/lonely thoughts into happiness.
Although it may sound ‘corny’ we can learn to express gratitude. Take a few minutes to reflect on what you have to be grateful for. It may be a memory of years past and it may be something that lurks in your future. Think about the last breath you took and focus on the now.
With that breath practice a form of meditation and be mindful of your breathing. Allow yourself to feel whole if just for a second. It’s not about perfection it is about finding your core and grounding your thoughts.
It’s ‘OK’ to take the time to be quiet, still, and unproductive but it’s also ‘OK’ to move (exercise) and create a mood elevating energy. A friend once told me her Thanksgiving holiday is about her being alone in nature. She chooses to visit an area where she can breath in the Autumn season, spend time cocooning, reading, listening to music and be content with herself. THIS IS A CHOICE!
If connecting with others is your personal need host friends and family or volunteering to help in senior citizens home or a homeless shelter. You aren’t the only one feeling abandoned and the need to connect may be fulfilling beyond measure.
Sometimes gratitude can be developed as we pursue hobbies or our talents that we have allowed to lay dormant. Engaging in something that brings you joy is as important if not more so than sitting at a Thanksgiving dinner. Begin today by creating a plan to engage in the happiness.
Everyone has a different perception and path to reach their happy place. It begins with self-reflection and turning negatives into positives. The song lyric, “Make someone happy and you will be happy too…” is not always true. Until you are experiencing those moments of joy and achievement it will be difficult for you to help others.
It begins with your plan, and know you are the master of the blueprint. You have the ability to challenge your design and take a new path, redesigning yourself from the inside out. This is your life, be grateful for each new day and make it your best.
Ask for guidance – I am here – let’s create your toolkit
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
[email protected]
https://newclevelandradio.net/yesican-a-personal-coaching-journey/
440 526 1530
***Ask about the end of the year Coaching Special that has been extended!
10/6/24
Do you believe everything you hear? Do you believe everything you read on social media? If so, you are doing yourself an injustice. Just because someone tells you that world is flat, don’t you think you have the right to see the validity in their statement. Too often we just accept the words of another because we assume they know.
Sadly, much misinformation begins in our homes. We want to believe our parents, grandparents and adult family members will be honest with us and will not abuse us for their amusement however as a life coach I have heard how dangerous some family members can be. As children we need the support of mature, respectable adults to teach us right from wrong without leading us in the wrong direction.
Too often abuse is happening in the home and children succumb to the hands of the abuser because they are the adults to whom we are taught to look up to. When they take you down the wrong path you feel scared, and the fear numbs you to silence, until you find your voice, and that may be many years later! (Who is going to believe you?)
In my life coaching practice, I am working mostly with women who have experienced being gaslighted, abused, and their tormentor continues to live within them years, decades later. For many of these women now in their 50s, 60s and 70s are standing up to their past fears and working to resolve the guilt they have harbored for 10, 20 or more years. Often their abuser has passed on and yet they have carried the what they identify as the shame throughout their life’s journey. They want to be free, and they reach out for guidance.
As a life coach I will not judge I will be there to help each client create a toolbox so she may face the demons of yesterday and silence them, so they do not continue to haunt her thoughts. It is not as easy as just saying I will not think about, it is about facing those thoughts and hammer them down with new techniques that work for you. Some clients take to meditation, others to revert to dance or high impact exercise. I have seen some create a mantra or take words from a poem or song and repeat those words out loud or silently when those negative thoughts infiltrate their brain. It is possible to take control, but you must be willing to make the changes you need to way you think and respond. Too often it is difficult to do this on your own and that is why Therapist, Counselors, and Coaches are prepared to assist you.
If my clients are grieving over the what they were exposed to in the past I will often recommend that they work with a Grief Coach. A grief coach will provide them with different tools to process their feelings. It is not about pushing the feelings away it’s about facing them and understand you now have the control. The past can be put away as you find the tools to heal…(you will find them.)
On this Sunday if you are scrolling through social media and you are feeling that emptiness as some describes their perfect Sunday with family, know that it may or may not be perfect, it is all perception. With the right tools you too will be able to perceive your day as perfect. We all can choose how we want to feel.
I am here to help you through the path you are walking down…
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
[email protected]
https://newclevelandradio.net/yesican-a-personal-coaching-journey/
440 526 1530
9/29/24
Have you asked yourself ‘what makes me happy?’
That’s a profound question! Finding what makes you happy can be a journey of self-discovery. Have you had any moments or activities recently that brought you joy or a sense of fulfillment? Sometimes reflecting on those can provide valuable insights. If you’d like, I can share some strategies or exercises that might help you explore this further. What do you think?
The definition of happiness is: ‘the state of being happy” – Content, Satisfied, Pleasured, Cheerful, Joyful, Blissful, etc…
Happiness is an emotion that is complex and multifaceted often described at being fulfilled. It may also be identified as a subject of well-being. As humans we have the ability to feel an express emotions however sometimes that feelings are based on what we believe is expected of us and our reaction to life.
Reflecting on what happiness means to you personally can be a valuable exercise. What aspects of these definitions resonate with you the most?
Don’t fool yourself, happiness is not a one-way street. The phrase, “Make someone happy and you will be happy too,” does not always work. Too often that one way path may lead to a dead-end as you witness the joy you may bring to others leaving yourself feeling empty. It is imperative that we will our hearts with the joy we provide others with.
Happiness does not live alone inside our emotional framework it shares space with the challenges that we can turn into opportunities. We have the choice to allow stress and discomfort to inflict wounds on what we perceive to be our happiness, or we can find the tools to keep us content. We cannot expect life to be all rainbows and lollipops, and we do not have to let it rain on our parade either.
You and I have the choice to actively pursue happiness. It may not be effortless, but if we practice gratitude, set goals and engage in behaviors that will bring us joy and fulfillment. When we share our emotions with others we build a multi-lane highway fostering relationship that are fulfilling and providing both when giving and receiving.
Communication is the key ingredient to sharing our emotions and express our vulnerable selves to others without fear of judgement. Not only is it important for you to recognize your emotions but to have the ability to understand others and to be empathetic.
As a coach, I have the ability to help you explore your path to happiness.
Here are some strategies I will use:
Self-reflection
Goal setting
Mindfulness
Identifying strengths (Positive Affirmations)
Create positive relationships
Self-care
Using these strategies you and I will build a toolbox that you will be able to take on your life’s journey. It is never too late.
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
[email protected]
https://newclevelandradio.net/yesican-a-personal-coaching-journey/
440 526 1530
22 September 2024
Let’s talk about LONELINESS and if we truly are?
Loneliness is complex and often is expressed as a distressing emotion rising from the loss of connections. Sometimes we have no control over the loss, but we do have the control to replenish the missing pieces.
Loneliness is uncomfortable despite the cause, and it often leads to a feeling of polarization that divides us from what we want and what we have. Too often we forget that we have the control to make the changes that will take us out of this psychological realm of feeling unwanted.
Due to social media, and too often the painting of perfect relationships, we allow ourselves to fall into the deep abyss of isolation. Unless we choose to fill the void we are experiencing.
Loneliness often happens when we start a new job or begin something new where we are not yet part of the group. This is a normal emotion and if we accept from the first step forward we will feel this way, we can manage those feelings that may stand in our way of accepting and being accepted.
If you and I put ourselves in the shoes of others when we walk into a new/different environment we will understand that they too may be just as uncomfortable. When we allow our negative talk to separate ourselves we feed on loneliness and often create an overwhelming scenario that may not exist.
If loneliness is one of your saboteurs, you may want to take some time to work through the cause for your negative feelings. Your saboteurs can be silenced if you understand what brings out the thoughts that interfere and cause you pain. It is important to remember, you are allowing them to impact your happiness. Through positive self-talk and coaching you can learn to squash those thoughts.
It is important to differentiate between being alone and loneliness. We can be in a room of family and friends and feel lonely. We can also being in a large crowd of strangers and feel engaged in watching and observing others. For some being alone is a piece of heaven where they can think and do what they want without depending on others or having someone depending on them. Knowing the difference is essential to our emotional happiness.
Too often the emotional feeling of being lonely often stems from the need to be wanted by someone(s). Even if you are wanted by another you may still feel unheard or unseen creating those sensations of loneliness.
The holidays are coming upon us and social media emphasizes the family, friends, and co-workers celebrating. However, you may not have family and friends close by and you may not have the connections with your co-workers to share the season with. Instead, you begin to feel the separation from what you believe everyone else is relishing in. But you need to ask yourself what you can do to ensure you enjoy the holidays without the burden of feeling lonely. You may want to be alone and if you choose that, you are not lonely, you are responding to your personal needs and providing yourself with self-care. For some, spending time with family is not just chaotic but often is self-destructive, and that can cause the emotions of being lonely when you are not alone.
If you and I start planning what will fill our needs during a time when we may believe we are the only ones feeling miserable during the holiday season, we will be happy as well.
I grew up in a large family of aunts, cousins, grandparents on both sides of the family well including extended members to our family gatherings. I grew up thinking it would always be like it was when I was 5, 9, and 14. However as the cousins became teenagers and young adults, family gatherings changed and they got smaller and smaller every year, except for the occasional family reunion dinners. As we all went our separate ways through marriage and or careers we moved even further apart and holidays and special occasions, at least for me, were lonely.
What I chose to do was create new traditions and accept that many of those family events in my younger years weren’t all as joyous as I remembered. For a number of years while my youngest son still lived at home, specifically after his paternal grandmother died, we began going to the movies on Christmas Day and having a Jewish Christmas Dinner at a local Chinese Restaurant. Since my mother passed way 8 years ago we drive to upstate New York to have Thanksgiving with my brother and his family.
I am prepared to alter these traditions when driving to upstate New York becomes a chore and choosing to visit my sons over the Christmas and Channukah season. I understand that loneliness is a state of mind, and I have the choice, the mental capacity to be happy or sad.
What are you ready to change when the negative talk brings you to tears and you your thoughts stray to loneliness? Are you willing to make some changes and reach out to others who may be experiencing those same emotions? When I was going though my divorce 30+ years ago I felt isolate and lonely. I joined a group of singles and for the first holiday I organized a potluck dinner. I was so busy preparing that I did not feel lonely, and the group setting propelled me into my new reality, and I felt happy. That was the first step that allowed me to see how lonely I was in my marriage and for the first time in a long time I felt like this is where I belonged.
If you are feeling lonely – reach out and invite others to spend time with you. Accept that some, maybe many, will not want to get together but know it’s your choice to whom you reach out to and keep asking until you get that yes.
Become mindful of the difference between loneliness and being alone. Enjoy being alone and don’t turn it into loneliness. Positive talk is so important, and it is important to get to know yourself intimately.
Seek therapy or coaching to assist you in this new path you may be traveling. The road may feel bumpy at times and having a guide who can help you smooth out the path may be essential for your journey.
Loneliness can impact you physically if you don’t work through it. Be kind to yourself.
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
[email protected]
https://newclevelandradio.net/yesican-a-personal-coaching-journey/
440 526 1530
5 September 2024
What does it mean to be a Good Parent?
Do you have role models in your life that may have provided some guidance providing you with a blueprint you want to use with your children?
Being a good parent often involves a combination of love, support, and guidance. However, your culture may color those three components differently.
- Do you know what unconditional love is and are you prepared to provide this for your child/children. “Unconditional love is a type of love that is given freely, without conditions or expectations, and without regard for what is received in return”. It does not mean allowing your child/children to roam free – unconditional love does not mean without boundaries. (You are still the parent)
- Boundaries must be set, identified, and over time communicated for your child/children to understand them. We all need clear rules to understand what is expected of us, rules are for you as parent as well as for your child/children. It is important that boundaries are consistent; this will provide you and your child/children with security.
- Quality time spent with your child/children is not measured in minutes or dollars. It is important to engage in activities that your child/children enjoy. This is your opportunity to strengthen your bond with your child/children, to create open communication which will also create long lasting memories.
- Whether you had a good role model or not know how important is for you to be the best role model you can be. Your children will learn and copy your behaviors. It is important that are observers of your best behavior which should include kindness, honesty, respect, and being mindful.
- Teach and encourage independence: Begin by asking your child to make simple choices and to take responsibility. This may include offering them two choices for their breakfast, their responsibility will be to eat their choice with no fuss or complaint. Inviting your child to make choices should be age appropriate. Making choices, even simple ones, will help your child/children develop confidence and learn problem solving.
- Communicating openly does not include adult conversations. Again, if you encourage an open and honest communication you will be more aware of your child/children’s thoughts.
- Emotional support is extremely important – you do not have to agree with their emotions, but you must accept that emotions are personal. To be there for your child/children means you will offer comfort and reassurance even at the toughest of times. (This is not a free get out of jail card.)
- You cannot teach gratitude and empathy! You can display gratitude and empathy for your child/children to experience..
- It is your responsibility to promote good health. Engage in physical activities with your child/children, it is not enough to be a by-stander. You must provide healthy eating, and regular sleep routines, for yourself as well as your child/children.
- Attempt to close the generation gap by adapting to change. Parenting is continuous, even adults are still children…
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
[email protected]
https://newclevelandradio.net/yesican-a-personal-coaching-journey/
31 August 2024
Change is not EASY; I can guide U and help U
This is WHY!
Life Coaching can be a transformative decision for many reasons.
Are U Ready 4 Personal Growth?
- Make the commitment to identify and achieve your personal goals
- Develop tools to gain clarity about want you want in life – Together we will create a personal plan 4 U.
- Learn accountability – it begins with committing to yourself and the coaching process.
- Improve your relationships with enhanced communications skills.
- Gain the tools to turn OBSTACLES into learning experiences.
- Identify your work-life balance – this is your 1 time to live this life.
- Learn mindfulness allow yourself to B self-confident.
- Identify the difference between negative and positive feelings and strive 4 POSITIVITY.
My Inspiration for coaching came from being a Special Needs Mom – I now have the tools to B my best self. (Creating more each day!)
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
[email protected]
https://newclevelandradio.net/yesican-a-personal-coaching-journey/
440 526 1530
*Communications Major
*Certified Life Coach
*Certifications in various disciplines
*Life Learner
On August 8th I am offering my first Group Coaching Session for women. Women tend to ignore their needs being the caregiver or caretaker for others. Too many believe they are ‘too’ busy, and yet are restless and losing sleep trying to be perfect for others.
Are you aware that self-neglect can lead to lack of self-esteem and cognitive issues? For many women whether it is their career, job, or family pulling at them 24/7, they forget that they must put their oxygen mask on before helping others. If YOU are depleted YOU cannot provide the support YOU want or feel YOU need to.
The group sessions are 6 weeks long meeting Thursday afternoons from 4 -5 pm weekly from August 8th – September 19th. The Group limit is 6, this will allow for all participants to share and learn with other like-minded women. Group sessions are designed to be POSITIVE; participants will leave negativity behind and learn to find the positive in what may seem negative. The purpose of this group session is to learn and understand there is no reason to neglect ourselves, we can find the missing pieces in our puzzle and become the best versions of ourselves
For additional information and the special pricing for this group session contact #yesican Coaching with Karen.
One-on-One Sessions Available as well
#YESICAN coaching with Karen [email protected]
440 526 1530
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
Mahatma Gandhi
When I think of something that I believe may help you through your life’s journey I will share it here –
#yesican Coaching with Karen
Karen 1963 – My Bagley Days
In a few hours Rich and I will be traveling to Michigan for my Elementary (you read that right) Reunion. I attended Bagley from 1959 – 1964, prior to moving to St. Louis Park, Minnesota where I completed my Junior and Senior High Days. I do have many friends from St. Louis Park, but Bagley in Detroit, Michigan has some long-lasting memories including friendships. I feel so blessed that my classmates after 60 years still want to gather together. It’s true some will not be with us due to death, illness, and distance. However, I cannot wait to share the memories as well as catch up with some wonderful friends. Many of us are on Facebook and we have connections that have kept us from being strangers.
My husband decided to make this not only a special trip for me but as he has co-workers who actually work in Michigan while he is in Ohio he is taking some time to meet them in person (a reunion of sorts). Every morning and afternoon his team has virtual meetings, but this will be special, not just for him but for others on the team who are anxiously awaiting to see him.
I am choosing to share this for a number of reasons. First, I have read so many posts on Facebook of loneliness and loss of connection with friends and family. Too many, more women then men, are feeling isolated and almost fearful of meeting new people. In my loneliness (when it has crept into my soul) I have brought my memories into view to bring me smiles and recognition that I am not alone.
Secondly, it is never too late to reconnect with friends, family, and even co-workers that may not appear to be available. It just takes one person to make the connection either on social media, an email, a snail mail, and or a phone call.
Thirdly, I want to share that through Facebook I have reconnected with many friends from elementary school and beyond. Two such individuals are very special to me; one is Carol, and the other is Sally. Both of these friends went in different circle than me, but I shared classed with them and felt connected. Today I know these are just two individuals from my past that I could count on at any time. (They both live a distance from me it’s not like going cross town.
Lastly, I am sharing because I know that no one needs to be alone, there is always someone that is willing to be our friend (It does not need to be a BFF). However, sometimes we must step out of our comfort zone to reap the benefits. We have a choice, be lonely or fill the gap that is causing those emotions. Being alone is not the same as being lonely. In fact, I relish some of my alone time. When I go to the pool to walk and exercise, I am a loner. I want to concentrate on how the water feels and the results I am receiving. Water exercise, walking etc.…this is my YOGA and Meditation Time. Believe it or not we need this to survive all the chatter in the world and prepare us for being our best selves.
It has taken me a very long time to like and love myself (and not in a selfish manner). I truly believe if I don’t take care of me, no one will want to help, assist, or guide me if I am in need. I cannot be everything to everybody and expect they will feel the same towards me. People notice when you are not good to yourself and that can give them the liberty to not be good to you. So, WE HAVE the control!
Do yourself a favor take Control and if you need assistance
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
[email protected]
https://newclevelandradio.net/yesican-a-personal-coaching-journey/
440 526 1530
Since my visit to the Dallas area to see my youngest son, I have been experiencing a feeling of malaise. I am not ill but my allergies and an odd sense of feeling incomplete have been hovering over me. I spent a good portion of yesterday trying to be ultra mindful of my emotions as well as my physicality. I am experiencing working through a fog as I continue to move forward in a positive direction.
Life is not picture perfect and when we feel (we all will) out of sorts it is important to not let the imperfections bring out negativity. If I have learned nothing else in life, I understand that I am the driving force for my life. It is also important to realize that what I do in life both positive and negative touches those individuals with whom I am connected. If I have a bad day and allow the malaise to seep out of me, those who are in my path may be affected.
As a coach I have refined my toolkit to accommodate for these feelings and it sometimes feels as if I am the start line and I have a long road ahead of me to get a foot hold. But I know I can move and improve by pushing these feelings off my shoulders and releasing the burden they have created.
If you have taken the time to be intentional you may have noticed that change is possible as we are evolving through the thing called ‘LIFE’. Nothing stands still for long and if you or I choose to ignore the world around us we will become stagnant and just like the water in the pond [Bacteria in stagnant water can produce chemicals that make the water unsafe for organisms to live in and for people to be around.] If we become stagnant, we are not living our best life at the moment.
I have experienced anxiety and depression. I have had people in my life who chose to tell me I had no reason to go down that rabbit hole. However, sometimes we need to get back up. Sometimes we need to just acknowledge our feelings so we can get the guidance, support, or coaching to try something different to perfect your best swing!
“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” [Yogi Berra]
I challenge you to stop competing, listen to your needs, develop a pathway to extend your journey.
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
[email protected]
https://newclevelandradio.net/yesican-a-personal-coaching-journey/
440 526 1530
I recently have noticed women 50 and up commenting on how different their marriage is when they reach this milestone. Typically, it is the married woman who are recognizing and questioning if this it all life is about. Some are currently or still working at a job or a career. Their lifestyle is dependent on their income, and they know that Social Security alone will not allow them to enjoy life as they know it or they way they want to know it. Even in a long loving prosperous marriage they have doubts if they are fulfilled. I understand those feelings because I have experienced much of what others are saying.
For most of our married life my husband and I have worked multiple jobs. We made the choice to do so as we noted many employers on a whim will release employees and not tell them why. In the early 80s I was working for a well renown Insurance Company and I was making very good money. I was growing in my position and enjoyed the work, the other associates and the clients I was working with. However, my migraines got the better of me and the company thought they were doing me a favor and put me on long term disability. Instead of letting me work through my medical issue they chose what they considered best for me. I was not an invalid and sitting in the house on a day-to-day basis was making my migraines worse.
As I learned more about chronic migraines and other chronic conditions that millions of live with, I formed a non-profit organization called CPSG, The Chronic Pain Support Group. The concept behind this was to learn more about the options I had/and others have and bring individuals together to share their experiences and create opportunities. I kept the organization alive for seven years at which time I was pregnant with my youngest son. Once he was born, my previous employer who insisted I take long term disability, quickly removed me since I had delivered a child. The insurance company chose to believe if I was able to get pregnant with my migraines, I was able to return to work. Now this may have been a great plan, but they did not offer me my job back.
This was not the path I thought I was going to walk when I was a young girl dreaming of finding my prince charming, getting swept off my feet, and living happily ever after. In fact, my first marriage only last seven years with the gift of my oldest son. However, in the 80s I remarried (and we are still together celebrating 40 years this year.) Since I was detoured to yet another path, whether I realized it then or not, I developed resiliency. Resiliency is important in life as we do not always have the direct control, we need to be able to make changes to move forward and not get stuck in the maze.
What I am hearing from women
- Now that my husband and I are retired we spend less time together. We don’t like the same entertainment, so he sits in one room watching TV, and I sit in another.
(To some degree I can relate. We try to find mutually liked programs, movies, or music to listen to together. When we are on opposite ends, we give ourselves permission to follow our personal choice.)
- Now that my husband is retired, he still refuses to help me with the house chores. I feel like I am the maid and the cook!
(Although my husband is not retired now, he was for a short period of time, he did not do any chores unless I asked. If I asked, he did them but on his watch, not mine, and that was an irritant for me. I took a good like at what my expectations were and realized I was not being fair as nothing was urgent!)
- My sex drive has diminished and now my husband doesn’t even want to hug, kiss, or hold me. He says it only excites him and disappoints him.
(This may need more then a conversation. Both husband and wife need to understand if this is a medical or psychological problem. As we get older, we develop issues that make love making challenging. There is an opportunity to rekindle those feelings with professional help. Many women are suffering with Pelvic or Vaginal Prolapse. “Prolapse occurs when a woman's pelvic floor muscles, tissues and ligaments weaken and stretch. This can result in organs dropping out of their normal position. Vaginal prolapse refers to when the top of the vagina — also called the vaginal vault — sags and falls into the vaginal canal.” This can be painful as well as difficult to have intercourse.)
- My husband has a roving eye. He has not cheated on me, but he is always noticing other women and sharing his observations.
(My in-laws taught me something that I try to remember when my husband gets like this. My father-in-law always said when he stops looking it will be time for us to bury him. My husband is the same way. At times it annoys me but sometimes I realize it is his way to create a conversation. We’ve been married 40 years, and my husband still notices me!)
- Women of this age (I am generalizing) feel they have given up their wants and needs caring for their husband, being an impactful parent, possibly caring for their own parents or siblings. Many also believe they have worked a job that has had no meaning for them except for the paycheck. Sadly, see the clock ticking.
(Yes, the clock is ticking so now is the time to do something about it. Find your purpose, your interest, and share it out loud. Most likely your husband, children, parents, and friends have no idea what makes you happy. Now is the time to take care of you and you can start with baby steps if you are afraid of rocking the boat and tipping over. Writing and riding my bike are important to me and I give myself the opportunity to fulfill that need, it’s like putting the cherry on top of the sundae.)
Remember the song, “Don’t Worry Be Happy”?
What are you waiting for?
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
[email protected]
https://newclevelandradio.net/yesican-a-personal-coaching-journey/
440 526 1530
Thursday, I am into day 3 here in hot, humid, airless, Arlington, Texas. Yesterday I began the day cleaning my son’s one bedroom apartment. Young men have their version of clean and moms, specifically me, have a different perception on that subject. First it was ensuring the kitchen was clean so I could bake my mother’s chocolate chip cookies which will be delivered to my son’s office associates today. Last year for opening day I shipped out 5 dozen cookies. Since I knew I was coming into town for two games this year I chose to bake them here rather than shipping them last month for the first game of the season.
Once the baking was down and this time, I only made 4 1/2 dozen! [Larger cookies]
After baking and cleaning to my scale of perfection I took some real me time and watched a movie, “Unfrosted”. I tried watching this several times in the past, but I could not get into the slapstick humor, which isn’t really all that funny. But since I had nothing else to do and I just wanted to take ‘me’ time, I found it enjoyable enough to sit and veg!
It is not easy for me to just sit and do nothing. I have this internal need to prove to myself I am accomplishing something. However, yesterday I chose to listen to the coach inside of me that reminded me that was telling me it’s OK to just be. Notice the word I am referring to, CHOSE! I am not sure when my compulsion to ‘doing’ started but I remember as child between the ages of 9 and 14 creating chores for myself to complete, even creating some just to not be idle. I cannot tell you how many times I moved my furniture around in my bedroom and vacuumed my floors and dusted just so I could see my accomplishments. I have continued that pattern most of my life and I am now working on putting my drive where it best suits me and finding the opportunities to relax!
The experience I had yesterday was rewarding. I chose to clean and bake, and I chose to sit down for a couple of hours without any responsibilities.
I can hear my coaches ask me what did it feel like knowing you made the choices and two were extremely taxing on your body and one that allowed you to clear your mind and not feel compelled to multi-task in order to watch a movie? What I can truthfully say is it felt like a vacation. During the movie, again the greatest choice, but a choice, the pain in my shoulder and arm were less obvious and my brain did not wander to, “I need to do this or that!”
As a coach I am always reminding my clients that we can be our worst enemy or our BFF! When we choose to be our best friend forever, we make decisions that fulfill us and when we make bad decisions, we are our worst enemy. I have a friend who continuously has ‘issues’ happening to her. We all have minor mishaps, but she has one after another, after another. Her life is filled with stress as she takes on the problems of everyone and does not allow anyone to help her resolve her own. She is stubborn and truly unhappy.
As I identified my friend, I saw a lot of the ‘old Karen’ in the description of stubborn and unhappy. I blamed others for my mishaps and believed I had no control. I felt like I was walking under a black cloud waiting for lightening to strike me dead! When I finally allowed myself to look up and see that the black cloud that I believed was hovering over me wasn’t there I began to make choices and to push my worst enemy out of my brain!
For me it began by acknowledging I created a depressing state of being for myself and I saw how it was affecting not just me but those around me. I sought help from my medical providers and as it turns out this was the most important step that has led me to a healthier lifestyle. Clinically according to the DSM I was depressed. I began counseling and allowed my team to treat me medically as well. My medical team identified that living as a Type A personality led to some physical issues that needed to be addressed like high blood pressure and the beginning of heart failure.
Medication and counseling got me over the hump! I began listening to my BFF inside of me and learned how to ignore my worst enemy that even today tries to push me to make choices that are not good for me. When I hear those thoughts, I am more confident to choose not to follow in that direction. I now have more control over who I am and who I still want to be. I refuse to look at my best and think about the time I have wasted but instead accept that it led me to today.
If I could do one major thing it my life is to help you or someone you know who is struggling to be happy. I would like them to try to look at the sunrise or sunset and see the beauty in the colors that are produced. I would like them to find something that they did today be an achievement, even if that is getting up and out of bed! We get to choose our achievements and I can now look back on the last 74 years of my life and see my successes and let them pave the way for my future.
If you or someone you know needs a little guidance, I am available to guide them through #yesican coaching.
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
[email protected]
https://newclevelandradio.net/yesican-a-personal-coaching-journey/
440 526 1530
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSdL23sBfggmjrQLY_iaPtsrK-ls19Bh6
Have you ever been told you can’t do something? Who told you that and why did they tell you that?
My father once told me to leave the writing to him and my brothers. When I was younger, as much as I wanted to write I was missing the one thing that could make me a writer, the true want, the inspiration as well as the opportunity to be vulnerable.
Before the internet highway and affordable places to place my writing, the only ones who saw my scribbles were my dad, brother Gary and Joel. All three of them are true Wordsmiths. My mother referred to them without telling me to find another creative outlet. In fact, my mom, the baker, the seamstress, and the crafter wasn’t too sure I had those skills in my genes. My first attempt at sewing a dress was a disaster with one arm longer than the other and I could not figure out how to sew in the zipper without breaking the sewing machine needles. I now understand why I felt inadequate growing up. [My parents never used that word, inadequate, in fact they would find little things to focus on and praise. But that does not take away from what my inner self was screaming at me!]
As I sit here working today, I found a movie on Netflix that has caught my attention, “Geek Girl”. There are many, both girls and boys who are being bullied amongst their peers. Bullies tend to group together and point out the flaws they see in other people repeating to them what they can or cannot do and those words can drilled into their heads and can cause the feelings of inadequacy. If we (all the boys and girls) don’t listen to our hearts and achieve a path to personal passion, the bullies of the world will destroy us.
As you read this you may think my father and brothers were bullies, but they weren’t. My father was trying to lead me to what I truly had the passion for and once I stopped worrying about what others thought I developed the writing skills for me to share my thoughts and my stories. I don’t expect everyone to like what I write or even my style of writing because it’s not about them, it’s about me.
I chose to write a cookbook that included the recipes from my mother, grandmothers, and aunts. With each recipe I added a story about the recipe. I self-publishes this 25+ years ago and I sold a few copies but mostly handed them out to friends and relatives. I felt accomplished and still do. The cookbook took me on to writing beyond my dreams. Many of my employers saw my skillset and provided me with an avenue to create. Creating took me to writing blogs as a volunteer and also for income and that led me to podcasting and beyond.
So, what is success? Success is allowing yourself to explore your options and talents. (We all have talent!) At a younger age I could sing (maybe not professionally), but I could sing without harming the ears of anyone close-by. However, since my thyroid surgery in 1974 and my vocal cards being nicked, I can no longer sing, so a music career was not in the cards, and I have never learned to play an instrument and truly never have had an interest.
I did think I would be in T.V. either as a broadcaster or in entertainment of some sort but growing up in the 60s I was discouraged as broadcasting was a male dominated field. So, what was my path? It took me until I was in my 50s to find the path I chose to follow. I took one step after another, and I tripped and fell along the way. But I refused to be bullied or told that I can’t do something, so I keep forging ahead.
Some days are harder than others and that’s to be expected because the path I am following is life and life has obstacles, challenges, and grief that we all must experience to gain our personal success.
Tell yourself #yesican
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
[email protected]
https://newclevelandradio.net/yesican-a-personal-coaching-journey/
440 526 1530
Many of us walk through life working at what we identify as dead-end jobs. We get up every morning, prepare for work, and no matter if it’s full time, part time, or by assignment we have a choice to make it a positive experience. If we don’t and we find it drudgery everything else can appear to be dark and bleak traveling down a slippery slope.
I’ve been there on a number of occasions; however, I have had the positive working experiences due to the culture and mindset I chose to observe. We have choices whether you want to agree or not. When I was working for a for-profit college, I enjoyed my work but overtime I did not enjoy the culture. I fought those feelings that began turning positivity into negativity. My answer was to work longer and harder than the other associates with the belief I could make a difference. I did make a difference with the students I worked one-on-one with, but the culture was changing and in fact I was becoming a liability. Hard work and positive thinking were being crushed and I was soon forced out, I went kicking and screaming.
With the support of my husband and youngest son I followed a path that had been brewing inside of me for 30+ years. I took a leap of faith and began podcasting and building a future which brought me to newclevelandeadio.net and #yesican coaching with Karen. In 2013 I knew it was my turn and with a new force of confidence I began writing for the healthcare system providing blogs on aging and evolving and living our best lives. I went from providing my family with a nice annual income and benefits to zero income and placing the burden of income on my husband.
Over the last 11 years I have grown my business and I help support our lifestyle and most often it’s because I took the burden off my shoulders that was not fulfilling my mind, body, and soul. I do not promise you that if you choose to move forward and get out of the negativity and drudgery that life will be perfect but together, I can assist you with finding the positive thoughts that will ease the negative thoughts that may be plaguing you. Sometimes just the slightest change in attitude can make your life’s journey pleasant.
When you choose to make a change ask yourself the following questions and answer honestly.
- What do you value?
- Identify your strengths – not weaknesses!
- What do you enjoy – this is your answer not what you think someone else may enjoy.
- What are your priorities – to self, family, work, friends…
- Is your job a career or just a job? Does your job lead you in a direction of interest?
- When you look in the mirror can you tell yourself, “I love you?”
I will close with this story – My father was born in 1917 – within weeks of his birth he fell with the flu epidemic. His parents, my grandparents were told to prepare for his death. Instead of preparing for death they prayed for life and per Jewish Tradition added the name of Harmon, a relative who had lived a long life. From father went from Jay Moss to Jay Harmon Moss and was called Harmon his entire life, he lived to the age of 87. Although my father lived with a chronically ill heart his heart swelled with life. I remember my father starting his mornings looking into the bathroom mirror and bellowing, “Good Morning Handsome!” Despite living with chronic heart disease plus some other illnesses my father proceeded with life sharing love and positivity. His passion for writing never wavered and he accomplished being published (self-published).
My pops rarely said he couldn’t do something and one of his favorite poems to recite went l like this…It Couldn’t Be Done (By Edgar Albert Guest) and dad would remind my brothers and me with, “That maybe it couldn’t, but he would be one Who wouldn’t say so till he’d tried.”
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
[email protected]
https://newclevelandradio.net/yesican-a-personal-coaching-journey/
440 526 1530
If you listen to our podcast GRIEF BeLIEF (https://youtu.be/TrFzcST1Q-o)you may find this information helpful. This month on our podcast we centered our conversation on the expectations many have for specific holidays like Mother’s Day. Sadly, I have been reading how many mothers and want to be mother’s find this to be one day out of the year that they just want to sleep through. If I could wave my magic wand, I don’t have one, I would strike that emotional sadness away.
I have experienced this angst myself in the past feeling either isolated from what I expect and don’t receive or overwhelmed by giving to others with little if any acknowledgement. [The Why Me Syndrome?]
They say we get wiser as we age, and I believe we do if we acknowledge who we are and who we want to be. If we can do that [men and women alike] much of our sadness and wishes to hide under the covers for a day may be reduced if not totally eliminated from our thoughts. As humans we have the ability to change our thoughts and communicate them not only to ourselves but to those we are connected with. As we stated numerous times in this week’s podcast, COMMUNICATION is the key.
Communication- “the imparting or exchanging of information.” If we don’t communicate how will others know what we may want or need? The majority of my 74 years on this journey of life I was a poor communicator. It’s ironic that I chose to major in communications and although I had tools at my disposal, I did not use them or use them wisely. I grew up with poor self-esteem allowing one small group of classmates to make me feel unworthy. However, they had no idea as this was not their intent.
The quote, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” is attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt
Somehow, I gave this group of classmates’ permission to make me feel inferior and it took years for me to use my communication skills to shed the negativity that I created. I am now friends with many of them and this has brought me joy to understand that it was belief system that kept me from feeling positive about myself.
Choices we all have them. I just recorded a podcast with Holly Porter [https://adventurebucketwish.org/]. Holly and I discussed Long Covid and how it is affecting millions of people, some diagnosed but many not. We may never know the true effects of this deadly virus but what we do know is that it is real. It was not a government conspiracy and for those that sufferer with various ailments due to their exposure are chronically ill, some are actually living a nightmare without medical intervention. If you or someone you know has Long Covid you may want to follow Holly as well as share your story on her podcast.
When we make choices, it is important that we communicate the why. Communication is not a guarantee for acceptance, but it is a guarantee that you are living your authenticity.
“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” George Eliot
[Today I am who I want to be and that may change tomorrow- Khale]
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!” Audrey Hepburn
[I once thought I wasn’t possible until I tried the impossible – Khale]
“Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible” Francis of Assisi
[Walking through the maze of life I see the choices I can make – Khale]
“Try to be like the turtle – at ease in your own shell.” Bill Copeland
[It may have taken me 50+ years but I love my shell – Khale]
“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” John F. Kennedy
[Communication with honesty and kindness – Khale]
check out https://newclevelandradio.net/yesican-a-personal-coaching-journey/coaching-exercises-and-ideas/
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440 526 1530
Some pay 100s if not 1000s of dollars to lose weight or attempt to get in shape, but what most of us are forgetting, it’s not just what you eat or don’t eat and it’s not about how many hours you spend in the gym…It is more about your mindset. What is your mindset? Do you have a Why? Not a Shoulda? A Shoulda often collapses before you reach the goal. And what is the goal and is it realistic?
Do not believe the social media ads claiming you can lose 45 pounds in two weeks by taking special gummy each day…There is so much more to losing weight, getting into a shape you may desire, and looking like the image in the magazines or online.
Again, it begins with you and what you want and why. I may want to look like Taylor Swift, but that is not possible. First, I must ask myself why? Yes, she is attractive and has a nice figure and is talented and makes a lot of money, but realistically I need to focus on me and my style.
- At 74 I will not look like a 34-year-old Taylor Swift.
- Taylor is 5’11” – I’m 5’5” – I will never be as tall as her.
- Taylor has a talent that includes writing, composing, vocalizing, and dance – I am a writer but not of music and I enjoy her talents but mine are different.
- Taylor Swift has the passion to make money, I’ve never developed my passion of making money other than to assist in supporting my family.
Just these reasons alone neither I nor you can mold ourselves into someone else, because we all are individuals and that is what makes life so interesting and at times exciting. What we can do is be the best version of ourselves and it begins with being aware of our whys.
I have battled my weight for the 40 years. I am similar to many of you reading this. I have spent money on diet pills, diet plans, and medical tests to determine the cause of my weight gain and the difficulty in losing weight. When I began my quest for my coaching certification, I found the answers to my WHY. It wasn’t because I needed to look like a Taylor Swift, I needed to look like the best version of myself. The scale is one of the tools I have used in losing and maintaining my weight. Once the scale was my enemy, but it is no longer. It’s not the number the scale registers, it how I perceive myself and learning to accept that I am Perfectly, Imperfect!
As a podcaster I stare at my face for many hours in the day while I am recording, and I have learned to embrace my look. There once was a time that even looking in the mirror to put on my make-up, fix my hair or ensure my clothing looked good, I only saw the flaws and my self-esteemed was compromised. Today I choose to see the beauty whether it’s in my hair, my eyes, the color I have chosen to wear or the inner passion that is seeping through my pores, not seen but felt and feeling can feel magical.
I don’t pay 100s or 1000s to work with Coaches and I don’t charge my clients beyond their means. My clients choose to work with me to develop their self-esteem beyond what it is today. Together we take a journey and choose to walk through the Maze and find the answers to the questions that may be keeping us from being our happiest.
Happiness = a feeling of joy, a feeling of contentment, a feeling of pleasure, a feeling of satisfaction, a feeling of achievement, a feeling of exhilaration, a feeling of enjoyment, a feeling of bliss, a feeling of gladness, choosing to find the positive in where you are at the moment.
B U
I will B ME
Taylor Swift and others are already taken!
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440 526 1530
How do you react when someone tells you that they have found success by believing that they were worthy and capable of reaching the next rung on their ladder. Those of us who have found success use terms like I put it out there for the world to hear. Once I put it out there, I took the step forward and began creating my path.
What does success mean to you? At one time I thought it was measured in dollars and of course we all want to earn enough dollars to make a journey easier (at least we think it’s money that makes it easier,) but the reality is money is not THE ANSWER.
This morning in my podcast with Shane Jacobs (https://youtu.be/lglPEWds9-s) as well as my podcast yesterday with Ken Attard (https://youtu.be/AI3TTwEmD8k), we agreed that success begins with self-confidence and internal awareness.
For many years I wanted to be a source of assistance, guidance, and help not only myself but others (like you) find our true potential. It didn’t help me when others (parents, siblings, teachers, and friends) told me what my potential was, I needed to recognize it for myself. When I shared my dreams of taking my communication degree and skills to the next level many of those individuals provided me with negative feedback and tried to tell me to do something else. However, the reality was in each job, and career changes I had made, I always attempted to achieve success for me, not for someone else.
However, when I heard the negative remarks, I found myself feeling less competent and falling further down the ladder’s rung. I can remember a number of turning points as I evolved into who I am today and who I will be tomorrow.
I must admit as much as I love podcasting, before each podcast I hear those old inner voices telling me I can’t do it, I shouldn’t do it, and why the hell do you think you should do this? That last inner voice is my ignitor and I know I am going to do what I do, and I will be the best version of myself. I am not trying to be like anyone else, I am me, and I am worthy, and so are you.
I have shared in my writings and through my podcasts my youngest son, now an adult, was diagnosed at age 6 as being on the Spectrum. One day he was ‘normal’, the next day he had ‘special needs.’ Just the diagnosis changed how my son was treated in school and how my husband and I were supposed to adjust as parents. Labels can truly destroy our self esteem whether we create them for ourselves, or they are created for us. I am proud to say that my son as well as my husband and I realize that what we incurred along the way has provided all of us with the strength to succeed.
Success – my husband and I proved that our interfaith marriage would succeed. We chose from the beginning that our love and friendship was strong enough to endure our differences and communication has been the tool we use. (We just celebrated 40 years of marriage.)
Success – as a family we have struggled with jobs, careers, and financial occurrences, and we have found the road to manage our obstacles and challenges. Although it is not always easy, we continue to work together.
Success – learning to be independent while still being part of a team/family. We have found a mutual understanding on the need for alone time which is enhance our together time. If we nurture our souls that aura will be felt by those around us, specially the ones you love.
Success – being mindful of the needs of others and knowing when to say “No” or “Yes” while complementing our needs.
Yesterday and today, I succeeded in learning from two wonderful guests, Ken & Shane who have added success to my journey by just having the ability to share and learn from them.
As a Coach, I am here for you…
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440 526 1530
Coaching may just be the answer for you. Coaching is not counseling or therapy. When you work with a coach you lead the way, it is up to the coach to help you locate the tools that will assist you through your journey. Let me give you an example. My title at the for-profit college I worked at titled me with Senior Admissions Rep. However, I was coaching perspective students to look at their choices, the opportunities, and to assess the path that wanted to follow. I know when I graduated high school my path was set for me to attend college and my parents focused on me getting my teaching degree. I had other plans and I now realize I may not have chosen the best path at the time; I didn’t talk to anyone about the journey I was about to take. I did not want to be a teacher, I wanted to have a voice through communication. Initially I thought I wanted Social Work so I could help those less fortunate until I realized that wasn’t what I wanted either, I wanted to be on the radio, television, or on-stage sharing values with individuals like me who wanted to be something other than what their parents and or society suggested they be. It took me almost 30+ years until I got to be where I wanted to be.
For years I have been coaching others without wearing the label. I coached by helping others at the various jobs I had. I shared my strengths and helped others find their strengths. Focusing on what I could do best and what others did best built self-esteem and allowed me to grow, evolve and find my path that nurtures me. My father always pushed me to be my best, however I don’t think he truly saw my potential. Prior to his death in 2004 I was still searching for road that would lead me to my purpose. However, in 2016 while I was caring for my dying mother, I told her one day I would be back in an hour I had a podcast to record. Sweetly she asked, “Are you famous on the radio?” I responded, I am the most famous person in this apartment on the radio! Mom smiled brightly and she told me to go do my work. It was that day that I knew I had arrived. I was following my passion, and my passion was and is my purpose.
Shortly there, after I started a new podcast with Dr. Alicia Mindlin, Alicia and I discussed many issues on her podcast, Let’s Talk with Alicia on newclevelandradio.net. I didn’t realize it at first, but I sensed after a few months of podcasting that I was learning from Alicia that through these podcasts I was being indirectly coached. I developed an inner confidence that I had been searching for in my life and I believe it was due to Dr. Mindlin’s confidence that seeped into my veins. I’ve also been podcasting with Candace Pollock, The Intentionality Gurus on newclevelandradi.net and the concepts we discuss biweekly have helped me grow and become the best version of me.
The best teachers I have had throughout my life coached…they provided options, challenged me, and did not judge. I wasn’t afraid to make mistakes because they encouraged me to learn from mistakes, mistakes are knowledge! And now I am using my knowledge and the journey I’ve been on to help anyone who wants the support in making the change they need to feel fulfilled.
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440 526 1530
Friday, for many the end of the work week, for others the beginning of their weekend fun time, and for others it is just another day in the seven-day week. Not everyone gets excited for TGIF. Many individuals today are lonely, and their social interaction is in the workplace. However, when they go home at the end of the day or week they feel alone and lonely. This can be especially true for singles by choice or circumstances. This feeling does not only apply to singles as many couples experience the same emotional sadness.
Growing up I could not wait for the day to come that I could be excited for the weekend, however most weekends were let downs for me. Too often I found myself sitting alone in my bedroom wishing that I had something to do and someone to do it with. [Wishing, “feel or express a desire to do something. “They wish to become involved”] Wishes may be thoughts, but I learned I was the only one who had control over the wish to become involved.
I am a slow learner because I was not taking the steps I needed to get involved, instead I wished and wished until the stars in the sky vanished! That was the day when I looked up at a pitch-black sky and realized I had control over my loneliness
I belong to two online groups. One is the Ethel Circle, this group is made up of women typically 50 + years of age, the other is Elder Orphans. In both groups women are expressing how alone they feel. Many of these individuals (Baby Boomers) spent a good portion of their life working, some raising families, married, or divorced, and now as they are evolving in this new phase of life, they feel lonely. Many post anonymously as they fear someone may judge them. The truth is they are judging themselves as well as others and this makes it even more difficult to take a step forward to resolve this problem.
If you are mindful enough to recognize your alone and loneliness time you are the only one who can resolve the issue. If you are expressing it, it is an issue. Here are some tips.
- Don’t wait for someone to call you – pick up the phone and call a friend or a family member. Do not set expectations when you make this call. When you don’t set expectations, you protect yourself from hurt/disappointment.
- Volunteer at an organization that has meaning for you. You will meet other like-minded individuals and these new acquaintances may provide you with a new sense of belonging.
- Join a social or spiritual organization – choose wisely – follow your need when doing this, you need to feel a connection when you take that first step.
- Join a gym or yoga group – commit to enhancing your well being that includes your body and mind. Get the endorphins moving and you may find that being alone does not mean you have to feel lonely.
- Book clubs are another way to interact with others and often friendships begin in groups like this. If you are unable to get out of the home or traveling cross time is not an option, find a group online.
- Do not depend on your spouse/significant other to fill in the loneliness, they may not need the same stimulation as you do and it’s ok to take the time away and fill up your needs bucket.
- If you have grandchildren, it is important to remember that both they and their parents have their own needs bucket to fill up and it may not include time with you. Find the tools you need and use them to overflow your bucket.
- Find a coach, mentor, or someone who will not judge you and help guide you.
Life is worth living, take the time to live it.
I have climbed out of my loneliness by writing, podcasting, coaching, and learning to be kind to myself as I am to others. I used to get sad and lonely when my husband just wanted to sit in front of the TV watching oldies and napping. I no longer let his needs define me. If I want to do something I do it and what I have found he wants to be with me and more often than not, he will get out of his chair and spend time with me even if it means going grocery shopping. However, I am no longer dependent on having to wait for him to be with me. I love going to the community pool in the summer, he does not. That’s OK, I go he stays home and when I get home, we spend time together.
We have been married 40+ years and not every day or every moment of the days have been fun and exciting, but I finally understand how important communication is as well as following my heart…
I hope you can fill your bucket, one positive thought at a time.
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440 526 1530
It was just Friday, the beginning of the weekend, and now it is Sunday afternoon, and I am asking myself why do we wish each day away? Too often we are waiting and wish for that special day. The day comes and then it is over and what do we have to look forward to next? If we choose to live our lives fully, we always have something to look forward to while enjoying the now. Most of my life I lived for the future avoid my present. It is not until the last 10 plus years that I began appreciating the now and how it will influence the future. When I allow myself to appreciate where I am and how I got here I don’t have to waste my thoughts, only looking forward. If I miss the now, I am just existing and I choose to live fully.
Too much of my life I have spent in self-criticism, assuming others were thinking my thoughts. I could only see my flaws, and mistakes and I compounded them by not seeing that the flaws were dirt that could be washed off and the mistakes were learning messages on how I could change if I chose to. I was developing into a weakling and believing my negative thoughts until I learned that I had choices. We are capable of making choices I we allow ourselves the opportunity to stop seeking perfection.
I also realized I would not talk to another living soul the way I spoke and thought about myself. In fact, I was the cheerleader for everyone else, offering a hand to pull them out of the rut they may have fallen into. My voice provided them with comfort, and yet my voice was mean and vicious when it came to myself.
It took a wise woman who has become my friend to ask me a simple question, “Would you treat anyone as you treat yourself?” When I answered no, I heard myself for the first time and realized I had to stop being my own victim!
Have you been told that only crazy people hear voice in their head? Well, you are not crazy, and neither am I. I hear my inner voices asking me, telling me, what to do or not do. However, being aware of these voices, I now know I can decide whether to listen or ignore them. I am no longer afraid to make a mistake and learn from it. Many great things were developed by mistake:
- Sir Alexander Fleming, a scientist, accidentally left Petri dishes uncovered while studying bacteria – developing Penicillin.
- Wilson Greatbatch, an engineer, accidentally installed the wrong resistor into a heart rhythm recording device in 1956 – developing the Pacemaker
- Ruth Wakefield, co-owner of the Toll House Inn, chopped up a block of semi-sweet chocolate from Nestle to make chocolate cookies for her guests – now we all love chocolate chip cookies
- The slinky, silly putty, potato chips, plastic, and the microwave oven are just a few items that were created do to an error in calculation.
Think about this, if mistakes were made by some very intelligent people, maybe our mistake(s) will create a positive difference. Keep evolving and if you want support in being the best version of yourself – contact me at
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440 526 1530
On a Clear Day… Ok, it’s not a clear day here in the Cleveland, Ohio area. We have grey skies, overcast and the prediction of a lot of rain! 95% – that’s a lot. Although it’s not a clear day in the weather department my head is clear, and I am feeling positive, even though I am working through some challenges.
If you use social media, you will notice that there are two types of posts. The first is from the perfect family (individual) and everything on their page is about the amazing life they live with pictures to match. The second type is from the negativity ‘monsters’ who only see their cup as empty and no one is willing to fill it for them. Neither one of these posts are real, the few real ones show you both sides of the coin and often share that they are using the tools they have collected through life to work their challenges. Life may not be perfect today for them, and their post is not relatable.
Without mentioning names, I have a friend on Facebook who I met a number of years ago. She is a dynamo and I respect and admire her. She is an individual, a wife, a mother, a friend, an artist, and when she posts about the perfection of an event in her life or that of her family you know she/they are deserve it! They all work hard; they come together and support each other and those they connect with. So, when they encounter something negative, they are open and honest using their toolkit to work through the obstacles. I learn from all her posts. I will admit there is some envy for some of the opulence they experience, however I know they have created, nothing is given. My envy is also admiration, and I am mindful if I wanted what she has I could have it too, however, it takes work.
I am not afraid of work and if you know me or know my closest circle, they will tell you that I am a 24/7 being. I spent most of my past life being a do it now person. I have learned that even though that behavior felt right for me, I missed opportunities because I only saw what was in front of me, getting it done. Today I am more aware of where I came from and where I am going.
I will not complain and say being in a marriage with someone who is not as much of a go-getter as, has slowed me down. He is the true definition of a procrastinator. I allowed this to frustrate me for many years. I entitled him and I got down what he was doing. The more I entitled him the angrier I became but I didn’t understand what I was doing until…
It may have been an AHA Moment, but I think it was more like, I don’t like feeling angry and it’s my feelings, I own them so I must have the ability to change them. It was that realization I am not going to change my husband, he wasn’t going to change me, but I have choice as to how I let ‘things’ affect me.
The self-realization journey is ongoing. I find myself asking the basic questions, do I like how I am feeling? Where do I feel these emotions? Is there a benefit in feeling these sensations? What tools have I acquired to make this appropriately mine.
When you are feeling sad and someone says, “Don’t feel sad!”, how do you react? I used to get angry and argue saying things like, ‘you can’t tell me how to feel!’ Those around you do not have permission to invade your feelings. However, when others are aware of your thoughts and actions, they may be capable of coaching you through what might appear to be inappropriate. When my son was younger – elementary school age- when he became overwhelmed, he needed to be left alone. He had (still does) the tools for self-soothing. If interrupted his behavior may appear to be inappropriate. As a parent I wanted to make him feel better but often times I made things worse. WE ARE ONLY RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN EMOTIONS. Eleanor Roosevelt is quoted as saying, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. We all need to learn to be honest with ourselves in order to live the happiest life we are capable of creating.
“We come into this world alone, and we leave the same way, the time we spend in between … time spent alive, sharing, learning … together … is all that makes life worth living.” Money, fame, and popularity may contribute to your life, but they are not the ingredients that make life worth living.
My challenge to you is to be Happy – find one thing today that makes you smile!
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440 526 1530
When I began my coaching business, I did so not only to help my clients but to ensure that I continue to help myself. It is very important if we want to live a happy/successful life we must navigate our path in that direction. It may not be easy, but it is doable. Sometimes we need a little assistance/hand holding/help/guidance/support to help propel us in the right direction. It is OK to ask for HELP and that is just what I do as a Life ‘Change’ Coach. I help my clients view their obstacles as challenges, and their challenges as opportunities. Together I lead them to happiness and success if they want to achieve it.
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440 526 1530
Who takes care of you? I am not implying you aren’t capable of taking care of yourself but if you are like me, you are always thinking about what others need, family, friends, business associates and sometimes even strangers. As compassionate a person you may be, what about you? Who thinks about what you need?
The answer should be YOU! You should be taking care of your needs and that includes asking for assistance and telling others what they can do for you. We may be trying to read the minds of others and helping them before they ask, but not everyone is like that. In fact, most people are busy just living and they often wear blinders when it comes to being aware of what others may need.
I’ve been married to my husband, Rich, for 40 years and I still have to spell out what I may want or need when. He will not hesitate to help me, but he needs me to ask or tell him what I want. Here’s an example; when I get the COVID vaccine it typically makes me very sick and weak for 24 – 48 hours, I can barely get out of bed. Well, tomorrow I am scheduled for a dose of the vaccine. In the past I have not prepared him for what I may need and instead he tends to ‘ignore me’ letting me battle through it. However, he tends to be kind enough to ask me if I am hungry, but he is not familiar with the kitchen except to watch me prepare meals. His caring goes so far as to ask if I want something to eat and if so, he will assist me in making something. (NO WAY!)
It’s taken me almost 40 years to understand that I have spoiled him so I have ensured we have plenty of Propel™ in the refrigerator that he can bring me, along with Jell-O™ if I am interested. I will have food in the refrigerator and freezer that he can easily prepare for himself (he can use the microwave like a champ!). In order to care for myself I am preparing for him to care for himself and know what I may need including ice packs which have been needed in the past. We have no plans for this weekend to ensure if I have this reaction again, we are both prepared. That is self-care.
If I didn’t take the time to think this through, I might be an unhappy sick lady this weekend as I have been in the past. The last couple of times I had this reaction I felt abandon by him despite the fact he thought he was helpful, leaving me alone. As helpful as that may have been, if I had only told him or asked him for what I needed the situation would have been easier for me.
How often have we experienced a personal pity party because we didn’t ask for something we needed. How often have you ignore your needs? Again, if you are like me, too many times. So, isn’t it time to stop and think about yourself?
Take the time now to develop self-compassion. If you can’t like yourself why should someone else?
Provide self-kindness to yourself – don’t wait for someone else to show you kindness. To be kind to oneself you need to be your own best friend. Treat yourself as you would that best friend. Learn to be friendly, generous, and considerate. I love flowers and although my husband will say in passing, I should have bought you flowers, I now buy myself flowers. I have this vase that sits in the kitchen in front of the windows next to the sink and weekly I buy fresh flowers and place them in the vase. I get to enjoy them every time I am in the kitchen and my husband sees them when he takes his vitamins daily. The flowers make us both happy and this is one way of being self-generous. (Flowers don’t have to be expensive, they can be very affordable!)
My father used to greet each day looking in the mirror and saying, “Good morning handsome!” Yes, my dad was a good-looking gentleman, but his morning ritual was his way of being friendly to himself. Dad did not have to wait for someone to notice him, he noticed himself and prepared for his day. I have adapted this concept and I find something each morning while preparing for the day that I like about myself and I state it, being friendly to that image in the mirror.
For many years I did not consider my needs and I was the first one to shelve them in order to be friendly, and generous and considerate of others, however I found that I was feeling cheated. Now I take into consideration my needs as well, not being selfish but providing clarity for how I engage.
It takes practice to care for yourself without being selfish.
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440 526 1530
Last year, the Thursday before Good Friday, (Although that was April 6th, 2023), Alex finally gave in after 12+ of suffering in pain, he called EMS and was transported to the hospital. The following day he underwent emergency gall bladder surgery. It is situations like this that I have experienced on my life’s journey that have prepared me to be a life change coach. This is just one of many detours along my path that have provided me with wisdom.
The night prior to being transported to the hospital, my son called me asking “Doctor Mom” what he should do. He lives 1000 miles away on his own and at the time his friends were only work associates. Even though he called me for advice he didn’t like anything I suggested including calling 911. He was determined to work through the pain and go to work in the morning. As it turns out he had been suffering with gallbladder issues and had no idea…Surgery was not simple in his case if he had waited much longer his gallbladder could have burst. (That would have been awful as the poison in the gallbladder can be toxic.)
While I was helping Alex recover the two of us had some valuable time to have conversations that stirred me into the coaching arena. Now some of you may ask, “Does the world need another coach?” And you may ask do individuals take up coaching for the lack of working at a ‘real’ job?
[The modern incarnation of coaching can trace its roots back to the Human Potential Movement of the 1960s, a decade of exploration in human growth and development.]
In the 60s I was contemplating Social Work or Broadcasting for my future. My parents were very opinionated about Social Workers (it was not a favorable opinion), also they believed that broadcasting was not a future for a female. They actually told me to leave the broadcasting to ‘Huntley & Brinkley’, Walter Cronkite, and Peter Jennings. Mom and dad wanted me to be a teacher, Mr. Right and get married.
I thought coaches were just for Sport Teams and I was not a sports fan. Coaching was not on my horizon.
I went to college and earned a two-year degree in Communications, and I used my education in every job or volunteer position I became involved with. It was until 2006 when I began working at a private college that I used my communication skills and coached the students who entered my office to enroll. My managers were not always happy with my techniques because I believed in helping the prospective student search out their strengths and become mindful of what would make them happy. Just getting a college degree in a field that you have no interest in, in my mind, is a waste of money. There are so many opportunities to learn and create careers that may not need a degree.
At the cost of college today, and the insecurity in employment has paved away for not only coaching, but the opportunity to explore ourselves.
[Life coaching formally emerged during the 1980s and grew in popularity throughout the 1990s and 2000s. Some of the earliest life coaches focused on life planning, but the field eventually grew to encompass other life areas including relationships, finances, careers, health, and overall well-being.]
I just learned that [Thomas J. Leonard is known as the founding father of professional life coaching. Thomas’ big dream was that EVERYONE was a coach; And that the very best of the best would be called to become Professional Coaches.]
So, you may be asking how many life coaches there in the United States, not including yours truly, according to a 2023 survey there 51,446 employed as life coaches. Some businesses have one or two life coaches on their payroll, or they use the services of life coaches on a regular basis as consultants.
It was almost a year ago today, my youngest son Alex, during our conversations of healing and wellness, suggested I should be a coach. His recommendation led me to share that I had been certified for almost 2 years. I just wasn’t sure if I wanted to do it. When I heard my own voice, I knew yes, I wanted to use my experiences, opportunities, and empathy to coaching others and after our talk I posted online I was hanging up my virtual sign, “Open for Business.”
For me to achieve success I knew I had to specialize, and my experience in being an isolated special needs parent who felt all alone despite my family, and work associates. The diagnosis of my son created a friendship void, and I experienced being on a deserted island and I didn’t want others to feel the same. Additionally, I noted many women like me reach their 50s and 60s and ask the question ‘Is this all there is?’ From experiences I found out there is so much more, and we have the opportunity to begin again, and again.
One year later I use my podcasting and production of podcasts to offer listeners the opportunity to be the best version of themselves. We can turn lemons into lemonade or if we try, we might be capable of turning lemonade into lemons. Use the seeds in the lemonade and plant them and watch them germinate into a beautiful lemon tree. Sometimes we just need a little coaching to find our happy & healthy spot!
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440 526 1530
When you love, truly love deeply, you also experience pain. Life is not perfect and anyone who tries to tell you it is, run do not walk, away from them. The pain of grief is real and even a narcissistic individual will experience loss and pain.
Loss is not a thing, it’s an emotion and there is no right or wrong way to experience it.
When we are children, loss can be very hurtful when someone chooses not to play with us. The rejection often will cause us to ask the question WHY? We feel empty and tears and sometimes anger fill our souls.
As we get older and mature, we believe we are more prepared for loss whether we are referring to pet, a college rejection, a friend, first love, or just a change in ourselves… But how can we prepare for any of these situations without living in fear and negativity?
I was not prepared for my first miscarriage. In fact, I was shocked and that led to anger and anger led to denial. For those around me I thought denial was the best path, however many years later I realized it was not best for me and I relived the loss again when I miscarried a few years later. I remember the comments that were shared me:
“It’s for the best!” “Trust G-D” “You Can Try Again” “You know have two angels overlooking you!” (All I could say was – how do you know?)
I felt so much love while pregnant and the image of what could have been was painful, and yet the thought of who my beautiful children would have been made me smile and eventually brought me peace.
Loving deeply is when your children are hurting, experiencing their pain as if it’s yours. Or having a partner/spouse who is so much a part of you and experiences pain emotionally or physically that takes your breath away and hurts your heart so intensely that you think you are going to die. You wonder where you will get the strength to follow them on their journey.
My husband, my life partner of 40+ years, has been in good health the majority of our life together. Early on he experienced Graves Disease and went through radiation treatment which was successful. Thyroid disease treatment caused some other issues such as weight gain and difficulty with weight loss. He went through various career changes and lost his dad while still in his 30s. As a young adult he cared for his grandmother and his father and watched them die knowing all he could do was provide the care for them that he would want for himself.
Recently, Rich has been experiencing other health issues, he is a prostate cancer survivor, he is diabetic, and he is facing some changes that have been unidentified. Until recently, the last five years, he was a laid-back guy, not much phased him. If he got anxious or depressed it was short lived, that has changed, and it may be physical or could be the fear of aging.
We both look at aging differently. I am an evolver; I continue to look for opportunities and I challenge myself to see the glass ¾ full! Rich has become more of an ager, and with yesterday being his birthday he’s asking himself (and sometimes out loud as well), how much more time do I have? We will get through this together and along the way we will experience the roller coaster ride so if you hear us scream on the way down just know love, “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies” —Aristotle.
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440 526 1530
Similar to Carin Rockind, one of my Sheroes, I too wanted to be an Oprah as well. Not necessarily for the vast income she is reported to earning, but for the ability to assist, guide, and influence positivity for women in all demographics. Yes, there are role models of women in history that went from rags to riches taking their passion to fruition. Although I have not earned the financial wealth I am experiencing the richness of positivity. By sharing my tools with those that read or listen to my messages, I am successful.
I try to begin each morning writing my blog and posting it on newclevelandradio.net. Some days the message is listed under https://newclevelandradio.net/daily-comments-2024/ – if you look below this link the comments go back to Daily Comments in 2019 – and Word of the Day to 2022. This is my way of staying mindful of who I am and working to be the best version of myself. (To see all, you may need to scroll to your right.)
When my morning is disrupted, I find myself sitting at my computer later in the day and writing about something that has inspired me to share, sometimes it comes from Carin Rockind, (https://carinrockind.com/). I do get envious of her accomplishments, but I applaud them and hope more women will follow her. We may not all be able to attend her retreats (that sound amazing), but we can enjoy learning about them and turning envy into purpose, and that is what I do. We can create our personal retreats that include keeping company with like-minded positive people. Even if you can’t leave the comfort of your home, technology will connect us with the opportunity to nourish our souls.
As I have shared in previous blogs, I have joined The Ethel Circle (https://www.facebook.com/groups/theethelcircle) on Facebook as well as (Elder Orphans (Aging Alone). Most of the individuals in these two groups are positive looking for a community and many of us are now connecting with people who live in our communities (or close by). It is never too late to make friends and develop new relationships. The opportunities are immense, and these two groups speak to the positive messaging of Carin Rockind as well as Oprah, and me.
Unlike Oprah I cannot give you a car, and you a car, and you a ???? What I can give you like Oprah is the chance to develop the tools to complete you. I am not perfect (nor is Carin or Oprah), but we continue to work on ourselves to be our best and that is success.
Today is Sunday, March 17th, 2024, tomorrow will be Monday, March 18th and the days will continue to move forward. You can move forward to, but you must want to. Do it for you, not for your partner, your parents, siblings, children, or your business associates. If you can’t do it for you then sit down in the maze and stare at the walls surrounding, you. When you are ready, stand up and look forward, backwards, left, and right, and make a choice to move in a forward direction. Be mindful of your choices and allow yourself to make mistakes taking the right path that may be not so right. Learn why it’s not so right and pivot if needed. Remember tomorrow will be here either way but if you want your tomorrow to shine with positivity you must take the first step.
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440 526 1530
I love being a coach and if I can help you find the missing piece in your life that would be fulfilling for me. I too have had (and still do) missing pieces. Sometimes I just know there is a missing piece in my puzzle of life, but I can’t identify it. This morning, I thought I was going to lose a piece of me. The piece I am referring to is my husband, my best friend, and the love of my life.
If you have read the Word of the Day (DEPRESSION), my husband and I were trying to think positively but found ourselves with negative thoughts in regard to his health. We both were trying not to anticipate what may be bad news, but our brains gravitated in that direction. The elephant in the room was absorbing all the oxygen and we both began to spiral out of control. When his doctor’s office called to give us positive news, not negative, we could feel the oxygen fill our lungs and our hearts stopped aching for the possible negative results.
As a coach I help my clients focus on positivity and to be mindful with what takes them to the negative thoughts in their brain. The best part of coaching for me is that it reminds me to use my tools, my strengths to maneuver through the maze of life. Journaling/blogging is my best tool, it provides me with clarity as I observe myself from the inside out. Also, I observe myself through the eyes of those who want the best for me. I refuse to listen to individuals who are negative and judge me for what I might say or do. #yesican coaching with Karen was design for my turn, your turn to live our most authentic lives.
Please join me – share you journey…
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440 526 1530
So, you think someone else can benefit from coaching. I love it when I get referrals because I recognize that I am professionally recognized for the work that I love to do. However, when you refer someone, make sure you don’t set their expectations. Each client is a unique individual and they must want to participate in the coaching process. The client sets their goals and works towards making changes that reflect their needs, and they may not meet your choice of thought.
I understand wanting to help someone you truly care for and believing if they would only do X or Y instead of A or B, their life would be so much better. Please note that is your thought process and measurement for a happy life, it may not be theirs. As a coach I will listen/not judge. As a coach I will ask questions for clarification, so I am able to safely guide my clients. I will help my client find the words to define what they want and develop a process for them to reach their destination.
I will provide feedback without judgement; it is essential that I am supportive of the tasks my clients must complete to reach their goals. It is also imperative we both understand goals will evolve and more tasks will need to be completed
As a coach I will assist my clients by providing structure and asking them to reflect on their progress. One step at a time is the process. We do not set timelines as life continues to happen and change our directions and through coaching together, we will navigate the wind speeds.
You will learn to find motivation in making the changes that may be holding you back at the present time. Through the process you will create a toolbox that you will carry with you in preparation for those situations that may cause triggers reverting to behaviors you no longer want to possess.
It will be my job to help you explore the challenges that may have stopped or even crippled you in the past and acknowledge them for teaching you how to avoid them going forward.
As your coach I will share my educational knowledge as well as my personal experiences that have led me to this position where not only can I help you, I can continue to help myself live my best life.
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440 526 1530
Happy February 9, 2024 – 40 years ago today I proved before a court/judge I was a good mother, and my husband (Rich) was a good stepdad. Sadly, in the world we live in when couples get divorced, and children are involved, things can get ugly.
This is not a sad story, what this is a reminder to all that the anger and bitterness that may erupt from a divorce can be dissolved in time.
Although that court case allowed me to retain custody of my son, within a few years my son left my home and moved in with his dad, 5 hours away. I was hurt, devastated and all I had gained on that day 40 years ago felt meaningless. However, time would change that.
Both my ex and I had to mature, find love in new directions, and work to create a loving environment for our son who now lived with him and visited me. The hardest part of this new scenario was friends and relatives didn’t understand how I could give my son up and I tried to explain that I didn’t and never would fell on deaf ears. Their voices rang in my ears that I must have done something wrong. (As I look back over the years, I realize both my son and his dad needed the years together, just as I had my turn.)
I have said many times that I am blessed. I have two grown sons now who I love, and I know they love me. Yes, we have experienced some traumatic times, but we used them as learning lessons and sought out the positives to create what we have today.
I have been reading a lot of posts on Facebook, specifically from mothers who are feeling displaced by their adult children.
Stats:
“According to YouGov, more than one in four Americans are estranged from a parent, sibling, child, or grandparent. This figure is slightly higher for men, with 31% reporting estrangement compared to 27% of women.”
“According to a 1997 study, 7 percent of adult children have cut ties with their mother and 27 percent from their father.”
The stats also claim that the typical American lives within 18 miles of their family, but I am not sure I agree with that. In my family both my brothers and I lived much further distances from our parents and yet we remained close through phone calls, visits, and emails. My two sons also lived a distance from me and yet we have found a way to remain connected. Most of my friends have little or no family close by, it is part of our global society changes.
The knowledge I have gained from my first marriage / divorce/ and current marriage of 40 years is learning to accept our differences and seeking opportunities that provide personal happiness. This is not an easy challenge, but it is doable.
Looking back, I could have continued to be angry over my divorce/ the change in custody/ the loss of what I dreamt life could be or I could continue to reflect on how I could change my situation/ my thoughts to ensure I continued to seek the rainbow that lay ahead. Sometimes that rainbow begins to fade and the tools in my toolbox are brought out to help me through those cloudy moments. Today, the sunshine is increasing the smile on my lips. Today, I am happy because I chose to be! My sadness is just a learning tool to continue to seek the rainbow,
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440 526 1530
Yesterday I interviewed Hannah Lynn on Avoid the Maze (https://youtu.be/vLglZg40ufo). Hannah is much like me, and probably you as well. She is woman who believed she had to do it all, not just at home but at work for her career to ensure she could provide for her family. The resemblance I heard in our conversation was we created what I now call the monster within.
As far back as I remember I took on the responsibilities for not only my needs but for everyone around me. I have shared in many of my writings I was brought up to believe if you made someone happy that equated to your happiness. To a small degree that is true because it makes us feel good when someone shows appreciation for what we have done for them. However, at least for me I enabled too many people only to cause myself anxiety and anger. (the monster within)
Here is one example. When I was working in my corporate college job, I was always jumping in to help associates while fuming over the fact that they were coming in late, putting off projects that might affect me, or just trying to help my team shine. Most of them appreciated my help and depended on it as I enabled them, however I could not see what I was doing because I was constantly doing too much. This carried over into my home life and by the time my head hit the pillow at night I was so wound-up thinking of what I had to do next.
It has taken me a long time to work on breaking the habit of being the one who resolves the problems and picks up the pieces. Although I knew I didn’t have to be the one I was searching for my self-worth. I had zoned into successful women and men, and this is the picture of what I thought success was. It settled into my brain, and I tried to reach for success and happiness, not realizing what that even meant to me.
I knew I was in love with my husband but for a number of years I was unhappy. I was very confused as to how I could love him and want to be with him but there was an emptiness when it came to being happy. Although at the time I blamed the college I was working at that shoved me out the door causing me to fall into a depressive state, I now know I had to reach rock bottom, just as Hannah shares in the podcast.
I was blessed (still am) to have a husband and sons that supported me through this dark period. My older son did not have to face this situation as he lived out of town and was very busy with his career. Rich and Alex allowed me the time to get the help I needed and held my hand when I needed reassurance. What I learned was I need not be superwoman to be loved, happy, or successful.
To be successful the definition is to achieve popularity, profit, or distinction. What I learned was achieving popularity did not mean that everyone stood up and applauded when I walked in a room. For me it was the acceptance from family and friends without expectations. (Thank you, Dennis, for pointing this out to me.) We can profit from success that is not counted in just $’s, earning five figures may be all the success we need. Lastly the distinction was not about standing out in beauty or talent, it was the fact that I now could be my authentic self.
Some may read this and say I am full of SHIT! Because to be successful you must be Taylor Swift, Oprah Winfrey, Barach & Michelle Obama, etc. And yes, they are successful in their own right, but so am I, and you can be too.
Sometimes we are striving for something that we truly do not identify with, that was my problem and sometimes still is. Growing up I wanted to be just like the ‘popular – in crowd – girls’ but I wasn’t either by their definition or mine. I allowed those feelings of not being included guide me for almost ½ of my life, I did not start to mind shift until I reached my fifties. (Again, this is a work in process.)
When I began blogging and podcasting in 2014 (I actually had been blogging since 2010), I began looking at my purpose and how I wanted to live my life going forward. Occasionally I put up the barriers, the walls of the maze, and I would get stuck in the belief that I could not move forward. However, a poem my father recited to us growing up would pop into my head and I knew I was not stuck! (https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44314/it-couldnt-be-done) The words would propel me to look both ways and find the fork in the road and explore my options.
Early on in high school I knew what I wanted to do but I was distracted by my loving parents and family members. My purpose was to bring meaningful information to others, and I envisioned I would be in broadcasting even before Barbara Walters, Jane Pauley, and Oprah Winfrey paved the way for women. My parents wanted me to take what they called the safe route and become a teacher, but I chose not to. It took me many years after graduation from high school in 1968 to achieve my full degree in communications and my Master’s License in 2012.
I found my purpose through blogging and eventually through podcasting and now through coaching. I am using my experiences to relate to others, to learn from them and to share life’s tools that will help us find our success and happiness.
I have to remind myself there are millions of people who have very little financial wealth, and they are happy as they live their purpose authentically. There are also individuals with financial wealth that are extremely miserable, and they will never see their money is not buying them happiness.
My challenge to you is SEEK your PURPOSE!
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440 526 1530
As I sit here thinking about the last 6 months and the plans we made for my trip to Arlington, Texas to spend time with my youngest son, I am now preparing to return home. At the moment I am not sure when I will return or he will have time to come home for a visit, long or short. What I do know is that we will continue our daily phone calls and when we can plan the next visit we will.
This trip, unlike last Spring, Alex is healthy, happy, and content. He is beginning his second year with the Panther City Lacrosse Team and The Dallas Wings; the WNBA team and both teams are exciting to watch and grow. As the Merchandising Co-Ordinator for both teams, Alex is busy year-round, but he loves what he is doing, and the Management Group is marvelous! I have been honored to get to know some of the upper echelon individuals and they like my son, really, they like and respect my son. What else could a mother want.
It was with a heavy heart when Alex left the Guardians in the Spring of 2022 to advance his skills and career. It was not an easy decision as I witnessed him making application to various teams and interviewing with the knowledge that not one of the opportunities would keep him with home’s reach. As a parent I knew the time was right for him to make a move and all I could do was support his choices.
What I have witnessed this past week when I stopped by his office and made the rounds meeting or re-meeting those individuals he works with, I felt proud of my youngest, who at one time struggled socially. I observed that he has learned and overcome the issues that at one time made him feel alone and lonely, he has his toolbox.
The best holiday present I received was the quality of time we spent together. We have been cognizant of our need to have separateness even in a small apartment. Although this was not a vacation in the sense of spending time doing things to fulfill my needs, it was an opportunity to provide guidance without it being a parental lecture. I may have helped clean and organize his apartment, but I am smart enough to know that within a few days he will make the changes that suit him and his lifestyle. That’s OK, I came and did what he asked me to do, and that is my gift to him. My smile will continue to shine for a very long time.
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440 526 1530
December 7, 2023, the first night of Chanukah will begin at sundown tonight. (The reason Jewish holidays and celebrations begin in the evening is rooted in the biblical story of Creation, which teaches that God created night and then day; night came before day.) However, the blessings and holiday wishes on social media have already begun flooding my page and I feel sincere respect and love for my heritage. I am not a religious Jew, although I grew up in a more observant family than the family I have created, and I miss those days as well as appreciate the journey I have taken.
Chanukah is not the Jewish Christmas, despite many observe it in that manner. Chanukah is the festival of lights. It is a Jewish Festival (not a holiday) and we celebrate it a commemoration and rededication of the Second Temple in Jerusalem destroy during the Maccabean revolt. “The practice is described in the Talmud, which states that when Judas Maccabeus entered the Temple, he found only a small jar of oil that had not been defiled by Antiochus. The oil was enough to provide light for one night, but the miracle was it lasted for eight nights!”
For the next eight nights those that observe this festival will light their 8-candle menorah with slots for 9 candles. The 9th candle serves as the ‘SHAMUS’. The Shamus is the helper that lights the other candles.
When lighting the menorah, we go from right to left just as the written words in Hebrew align. Each night we light another candle, starting with one tonight and the 8th candle will be lit on December 14th.
Traditional foods for this festival of lights include foods cooked in oil:
- Latkes – potato pancakes
(my Baube used to slice apples and dip them into pancake batter and fry them to a golden-brown sprinkling cinnamon and sugar over them.) - Sufganiyot – the Hebrew name for Jelly Donuts (I learned about this on Sesame Street!)
- Chanukah gelt – this is chocolate wrapped in a gold foil with monetary amounts on them – gelt is money.
- Eggplant – with honey is the traditional dish in Spain.
- Vada – deep friend snacks are prepared and eaten in India and South Asia
- Loukouades- honey-soaked balls of dough, similar to donuts holes is the delicacy in Greece.
- Blintzes filled with fruit or cheese and fried like a Crepe are enjoyed in Hungary and Poland.
- Kibbeh – ground lamb, onion, bulger wheat, and spices rolled into a ball and fried is derived from Arabic meaning “to form into a ball,” is a popular dish present in various cultures and cuisines, including Lebanon, Syria, Palestine, Iraq, Turkey, and Israel
These are just a few items that I found googling foods for Chanukah. I will stick with my family’s tradition of crispy potato latkes with sour cream or apple sauce for dipping. (I’m hungry!)
Chanukah (or Hannukah) is “not the Jewish Christmas. The two holidays have nothing to do with each other except that they happen to fall in mid-winter.
Hanukkah is a minor Jewish holiday that celebrates the rededication of the second temple of Jerusalem. It commemorates the Maccabees’ victory over their Syrian Greek oppressors in 164 BCE, more than a century and a half before the birth of Jesus.”
To all who celebrate or not I wish you the miracle of finding your light and share your brightness in peace and love.
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440-526-1530
Coaching seems to be the catch ‘word’ or occupation for many today. When I was still in high school deciding who I wanted to be and how I wanted to be that person, I envisioned myself supporting others as a Social Worker or in the news media. However, in 1968 there were no women leaders in this industry. “For almost three decades, this trend continued, and it wasn’t until 1975 that a female had a prominent role in network sports broadcasting.” Phyllis George led the way in 1971 and I am sure her connection as Miss America propelled her career. Of course, Gloria Steinem and the Women’s movement also provided a path for women. However, by the time the industry opened up, I was married. Neither my husband at the time nor my family supported me in my dreams and so I traveled a different path. Well walking through life I joined women’s service groups as well as took jobs that provided me the opportunity to assist others.
Returning to college in 2009 and graduating in 2013 with my advanced degree in communications as well as testing and achieving certifications in various subjects including coaching has brought me to my career as a Personal Coach. My focus is individuals 50+ as well as parents caring for their Special Needs Children and Adult Children caring for their parents. I have selected this focus due to my experience and continued training in these areas.
To be a coach in today’s market one does not have to have a degree or certification. Life experience in the field one chooses to coach in should be a priority, however certification and continuing education often separated the coach from a GOOD COACH (there are exceptions). My passion in life has been to assist others find the ‘thing’ that makes them smile, brings pleasure to their life, and provides them with the passion to continue improving themselves. When I am not the right coach I look into my toolbox, and I refer my clients to other coaches who may serve them better.
If you or someone you know is looking for someone to walk along their journey and assist them in creating their toolbox, contact me. I may be the coach for you, or them!
Contact me at: #YESICAN coaching with Karen
Or
440 526 1530
Today is your day – in fact every day is your day. We all have opportunities in front of us but too often we are blinded by what we think others have. You’ve heard the saying, “The grass is greener on the other side”, until you walk over to the other side. If we are mindful, we will notice that we all face obstacles, however, it is how we choose to move forward, do we continue going in the same direction or do we take the fork in the road. Today is your chance to create lemons out of lemonade. #YESICAN!
Research indicates that coaching leads to “77% improvement in relationships, 67% improvement in teamwork, 61% improvement in job satisfaction, and 48% improvement in quality” for businesses.
What are you waiting for? Finding the right coach may be what you need to make today your day.
As your coach I will listen more than talk.
As your coach I will share with you as well.
As your coach I will not judge.
As your coach I expect you will not judge.
As your coach, if we agree someone else would be a more valuable coach, I will refer you.
As a coach each session is for you to build your toolbox.
“We are a work in progress, keeping work and you will progress!” (KMH)
Karen, #YESICAN [email protected]
The fears we have developed since 9/11 – it’s not just fear it is an anxiety level that has us questioning who do we trust?
Growing up it was not uncommon leaving your doors unlocked and opened in the city of Detroit. It was also the norm to be friendly with your neighbors, helping each other out and noting if something may be wrong. Knocking on someone’s door was neighborly, without fear of having a gun pointed at you or worst of all being shot! We have created a sad state of affairs when offering to help someone or asking for help may be perceived wrong.
I try to be responsive to my neighbors and strangers in stores. I want to believe that there are more ‘GOOD’ people than devious, angry, and violent people! I want to believe that we can bring back the community friendship and recreate a sense of caring for one another. I know there are some communities that are experiencing this lifestyle; however, they are few and far between. So, what will it take for us to come together again?
If you grew up in the 50s and 60s you most likely sat on your front porch or on the front lawn and shared the summer evenings with your community. I remember my mother would often go into the kitchen and put a bowl of fruit together and would share it with our neighbors. When the Good Humor™ man drove down the street if a child wanted an ice cream there was always an adult who offered. It was time that was simple, and children of all ages played together in the street, and it was SAFE.
Recently I joined the group called NEXTDOOR® and I have met some very nice people online and a few in person. I will admit I am skeptical, and I am trying to be safe and mindful as I create relationships in my community and beyond. It’s easy to be drawn into a relationship but I must remember this is 2024 and not 1959. I must also be willing to trust as I hope others will trust me in return. But the fears we have developed since the year 2000 (we thought the world might come to an end when we went from 1999 to 2000). I was one of the many IT individuals that was responsible for software testing to ensure a smooth and uneventful transition. As we all know, nothing sky did not fall, and we rang in the new century with ease.
But that was an event that has continued to cause us stress as technology has continued to grow and we are now questioning if I am BOT and has AI taken over for me? Even with technology designed to make our lives easier it is not necessarily any easier than it once was…
As a coach, podcaster, and website designer I spend many hours on the computer and even with my technology background and I am often at a loss when something on the software or hardware side is not working as it is intended. For my clients I had my stress and the anger it causes but inside I can feel the volcano ready to disrupt. The work that I do, and the anxiety technology lends to it, makes me yearn for a time when the majority of us worked from 9 -5 and enjoyed the evenings and weekends to contribute socially to our family and friends. But here I am on a Sunday working. No, I am not complaining because for those of us who are entrepreneurs it can be difficult to segment our lives identifying work, play, family, etc. However, we must provide ourselves with self-care so we can be the best version of ourselves so we can bring positive vibes to our family and community.
Today is our opportunity to make the changes we all so desperately need.
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440 526 1530
It’s ten days since the end of Chanukah, three days past the Winter Solstice, 1 day before Christmas, and 2 days before Kwanza, and 7 days until 2024 begins with renewed hope.
Every day should be a holiday, a day to celebrate to encourage us to be the best versions of ourselves and to share the love, kindness, and peace we all want and deserve.
This past week I have been visiting my youngest son and I must share this is one of the best gifts I have ever received. The week has not been perfect, but it has provided me with love, kindness, and peace. We are both very independent individuals, and our likes are not always on par with each other, but we have learned to navigate the road we are traveling down. My youngest son is one of my best friends and I am grateful for our relationship. I was lucky enough to establish this relationship with my oldest son some years back. How lucky can a parent be!
I have known the sadness of having an emotionally distant relationship with both of my sons. Those days taught us all a lesson and that is life is too short to hold grudges that can escalate into anger which often are the destructive behaviors in splitting up families. When you are lucky enough to recognize the battle before it becomes a full-blown war that is the perfect gift.
Over the past couple of weeks, I have seen firsthand in the stores or listening to my friends talk about the gift buying they are participating in, that the anxiety we put on ourselves to have that perfect holiday can cause us more distress than happiness. The best gift is the memories we create. Scroll through social media and note what your friends and family post when someone dear to them passes away. It is not about the big fancy wrapped gift they got it’s about something that person said to them or did for them, or the shared experience. Yes, gift giving keeps our economy alive and well, but love, kindness and peace are everlasting.
As a personal change Coach, I am helping my clients as well as myself to develop our best selves. We will never be perfect, but we are working on reaching our pinnacle. When my time is up on this earth I want to leave love, kindness, and peace in perpetual motion for all who follow.
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440 526 1530
Even coaches have days when they ask WHY?
Today is one of those days when I want to reach out to someone and ask WHY! But instead, I am sharing my frustration that is making me anxious and sad with you. I know this is temporary and I must dig deep into my toolbox before I become unraveled and have to repair more.
I feel like I’m in the middle of a renovation and I thought I had my design mapped out well. Yes, I was prepared that it may not be perfect, but I knew I could accept the final outcome. The renovation is not in my home, it is in my brain. The plan that I had is not working out and it is not up to me to fix. I must repeat that message to myself. Although the glitch in the plan, does not fall on my shoulders, if I allow the dust to fall around my feet that would be claiming responsibility and I can’t and I won’t. Coaching has taught me it is not about placing blame on someone else but accepting what I have control over.
I can allow the state of the renovation to trigger me, or I can take out my tools that provide me with the ability to see other opportunities. Errors must be looked at as challenges that provide us with various choices and one of those choices is to not allow them to trigger our frustration culminating in increased anxiety. It may not be easy, yet it is doable.
One of my tools is writing. Some identify it as journaling or blogging. For me it is like diarrhea of my thoughts and pounding out the words and editing my thoughts as my toolbox opens up with many options. In my younger days I used to do this with pen and paper, and I exploded my personal hurts on paper. I was a slow learner realizing my unfiltered thoughts often hurt others which was never my intention. Maturing and working with other coaches and being a coach myself I have learned that unfiltered thoughts turned me into a martyr. I do not want to be the person who suffers on behalf of another.
As I have formed my thoughts, I have been mindful of what is important. Mindfulness is the ability to be acutely present, to witness the physical and emotional sense of where we are and what we are doing. Mindfulness has taken me from a “do it now person” to let me feel this first person.
When things don’t go as planned what is your ‘MO’? ‘MO’ refers to modus operandi which is Latin for mode of operation or the method in which we respond. Mine used to be reactive, now I am more proactive. It has been said, “Hope for the BEST, Plan for the worst.” It does not have to be as decisive as that but it’s all about having a plan B and maybe a plan C. Sometimes what we may have thought would be the worst turns out to be BETTER than the BEST!
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440 526 1530
Have you ever felt like a fake? We often refer to this as imposter syndrome. It’s an emotional response to not having enough faith in our ability. We may not be faking it but if we believe someone is better than us, the insecurities of not being enough may surface. Now some fake their way through these feelings, others pull away from opportunities because these deep-rooted emotions sometimes paralyze their ability to process.
Recently when I was working with one of my coaching clients listening to what they wanted to work towards, internally I heard this voice that was telling me I was not qualified to coach. On the outside I looked and acted like the true professional, but on the inside, I began doubting my ability. Was I qualified or was I an imposter?
I just read that imposter syndrome is a sign that “we’re a work in progress, not that we are out of our depth.” That definition has helped me redeem myself as I believe we are all evolving and changing and with change we learn more, not just about the subject in front of us, but we learn more about ourselves.
I realized that on this specific day, my client’s needs were challenging me and as I listened, not just heard their words, initially I felt unqualified and allowed the thought of imposter syndrome to surface. The feelings I encountered allowed me to process and use this as an opportunity to learn what I needed to coach my client successfully. What I learned from this experience was that listening to understand is the key to communication and coaching. (I actually knew that from my educational training, but I needed the reminder.) This client needed me to listen, not just hear them, as they worked through their issue. No longer did I feel like an imposter but a professional who learned something new during that session.
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440-526-1530
I have a lot on my mind today so if this message comes seems a bit scattered or if my wording identifies confusion, I will blame it on my brain trying to juggle too many thoughts at once. I know scientists tend to refer to our brains as human computers. We tend to upload bits and pieces of information and like the older mechanical disc drives those bytes and pieces are scattered in our brain. To retrieve that information, we must patiently wait for all the scattered bytes to be pieced together to understand the information they represent. (Wow, don’t I sound techy?)
As you may know my youngest son moved to Texas for his career job last December. Except for a week in April when I was in Texas while he recuperated from emergency gall bladder surgery, we have not spent any quality time together. On Thursday evening of last week, he showed up at our door a couple days in advance of when we were expecting a visit from him. As much as I am loving having him home, I am also realizing how much has changed (for the better) for all of us. We, including my husband, are all much more respectful of each other. Alex may be our son, but he is a young adult and coming home for a visit includes us, and his many friends. Up until the time he moved to Texas he had been living with his since the day we brought him home from the hospital and sadly even as he grew into young adulthood, we still saw him as our child…I will always be his momma, but he is now our adult child.
Yes, when he arrived, he was welcomed into his old bedroom which I spent days cleaning, and I baked him his favorite chocolate chip cookies, and when I went to the grocery store, I bought a few extras that I knew he would appreciate it. I did for him what my mother did for me on the many trips I made back home over the years. I also remember the first trip back home was a little shocking because my old bedroom was now her sewing room, the beds were still; however, the fabric and all her paraphernalia for her sewing and kitting projects were scattered in the room. I had a place to stay but it did not resemble what I had left behind. It was that visit I had to pivot and follow the fork in the road knowing I was still loved and welcome, mom and dad had moved in different direction as I has as well.
Pivot is the word so many of us use today to identify the change in our direction and why change is necessary. To pivot is turn, spin, evolve, swivel, or rotate our position to accommodate our personal needs. When we choose to swerve to the right or left it is not done in a manner to be rude to others that may disagree with our selection of direction. To evolve as an individual to be our best selves we must make choices that tend to make us better without directly hurting others emotionally or physically. Can you imagine if we all made choices to be our best, not better than another, but better than who we were yesterday, the competition and anger in this world would not lead to war of words or WAR of any kind. I am not singing KUMBAYA, but my version of KUMBAYA is to focus on self in a non-selfish way. When we are at our best, we see the best in others, and we work in a peaceful and resourceful way.
When my son was still living at home as he grew into a young adult, we were all oblivious to it because one day was just like another. And even when we individually made choices and grew our best selves did not always come together in the dining room or living room, too often we were ships passing in the night.
Today, not only do I see the growth and maturity in my youngest son, I see him as a person, someone who brings the best parts of him to make us feel whole. I am finding that my coaching and reaching for the positive is now making me a better mother, wife, but most of all a better ME. I don’t always like how I look, or what I say, or how I do things, but I allow myself to feel and explore to hon in on what makes me, ME.
The proverb, “Beauty is the in the eye of the holder” means beauty cannot be judged objectively, for what one person finds beautiful or may not appeal to another. When I look into the mirror and say, “YUK who is that creature staring back at me,” it often is not the physical identity that is making me feel poorly, it is often something that I am harboring internally, causing my own poor judgement that can take me down the wrong path. If I catch myself and identify with my reflection in the mirror and allow myself to delve inside, I can become the best version of myself and spread positivity just in my being. Join me with one smile, positive gesture, and love in your heart to be kind to yourself and others.
For millions of Orthodox and Conservative Jews today is the second day of Rosh Hashanah. The Reformed movement observes one day. “The holiday is celebrated for two consecutive days because 2,000 to 3,000 years ago the Jewish calendar, which relies on the moon, wasn’t structured. Back then, the Jewish court in Jerusalem would make the determination of when each month would start.” The Reform movement follows: “Karaite Jews, who do not recognize Rabbinic Jewish oral law and rely on their own understanding of the Torah, observe only one day on the first of Tishri, since the second day is not mentioned in the Written Torah.”
The Karaite Jews also known as the Reformed movement have chosen to assimilate into the mainstream of society. Growing up Conservative (with a touch of Reformed Judaism thrown in), I made the choice as an adult to follow the reformed movement with touch of the Conservative movement thrown in.
Religion is a particular system of faith and worship, for some there is no one deity that guides them and for others there is comfort that a SUPERHUMAN power guides us into good and light. As a young Conservative Jewess, I rejoiced in my family traditions of attending synagogue, having family meal gatherings that included special delicacies including sweet kugel, tzimmes, apple and honey, a round raisin challah, kreplach, and chopped liver… If it was a school day and or workday, we were excused from normalcy to participate in the Holy Days. I feared the end of Yom Kippur when the book of life was sealed, I did not want to die nor lose any of my loved ones to death but, GOD made the final decision.
For many of us we hold on to religious or cultural beliefs to keep us safe and warm in a truth that has been passed on through our past generations. Knowing that my mother, her mother before her, and her descending grandmothers passed on their beliefs to protect and guide us.
In the Rosh Hashanah service, I attended (online), I noted in the passages we read the theme of humanity and that we all are guides. We each have the ability to face our challenges and create opportunities for ourselves and those that follow behind us to become the best versions of ourselves. Do not wait till that perfect time to become your best, today this moment succeed in taking that first step. Do not worry about the journey and how long and tedious it may be, it begins with just one step and is followed by many. The journey of life is meant to be shared, no one, not you or me needs to walk alone.
“Walk on through the wind, walk on through the rain, though your dreams be tossed and blown, walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart, and you’ll never walk alone, you’ll never walk alone.” (Song Lyrics and composition by Richard Rodgers.)
“You’ll Never Walk Alone is sung to the protagonist Billy Bigelow’s daughter after her dad has passed away during a botched robbery in the musical. The lyrics and the tone intend to offer words of conciliation to inspire her to keep going.”
I remember singing this song in choir in Junior High and although I found it haunting, I had no idea of its meaning, my job at the time was to memorize the lyrics and my alto tones. However, I have always found those words meaningful for me to move forward and to take one step at time, sometimes a Giant Step, and sometimes a baby step. I learned that if I kept moving, I was succeeding, living life!
As a Jewess, more culturally than religiously, I am walking forward to Yom Kippur the Day of Atonement the day that GOD (in theory) either writes our names in the Book of Life and we are extended for at least another year, or our names are left out and we face death in the year to come. I am walking forward not in fear but turning the obstacles and challenges into the positivity of life.
I welcome you with an extended hand to join me and accepting positivity into our lives and to create a more peaceful union. We do not have to agree on how we walk through life as long as we leave the negativity behind.
#YESICAN coaching with Karen
440 526 1530
When you want to make a change, you need to take a step forward, it need not be a giant step, and you do not have to say, “Mother May I?” You are the captain of your own ship, and you get to set the sails. If slow and steady works for you do not listen to others when they tell you to move faster, instead of sailing to use the outboard motor to reach your goal faster.
Sometimes it is difficult for us to stop listening to others and to listen to our heart. However, if you have a mission (especially one that has developed from your passion), you need to clearly understand how you plan to navigate your path.
When I started podcasting it was based on a passion that I cultivated while in high school some 38 years prior. I listened to the voices of others who told me I could not do what I wanted to, and I would be better off leaving the dream as a memory that some day I would look back at and say, they (the voices) were right. However, I chose (yes, I made a choice) to prove those voices wrong. I chose to use my communication skills in every job and career path I ventured into. However, in 2009 I prepared to return to college and earn my Bachelors and master’s license. I also made the choice to use my degree and I found podcasting and I have been in this field since 2012. But it was not just communications and broadcasting that I wanted to do, I wanted to Coach and assist others to find the path of life that fulfills them.
I don’t want to hear anyone say it’s not possible for them. It is possible if they make a choice to take that first step.
When I announced in April I was going to start coaching and use my training and experience I did not fill my calendar with clients. In fact, I have talked to many potential clients, however when I know someone is a better fit than me, I refer them to the best source. Does this mean I am not successful? My answer is ‘no’, success is measured by each of us there is no scale that weighs in to tell you if you are succeeding. My choice is to work with individuals that I know I can relate to, and they can relate to me. Together we find our success.
YESICAN coaching with Karen 440-526-1530 [email protected]
Each day when I wake up it is important for me to have a focus and purpose, even if that purpose is to lay around my house and binge watch TV. Now, that does not happen very often because my brain is always whirring with ideas and thoughts of tasks to complete. My mother used to tell me to always wear clean underwear. She would say, “God forbid you are in an accident, you should not be wearing soiled underwear.” This was my mother’s way of telling me to be dignified even in the worst of circumstances. Also, I think this is called, A Bubbe Meise, an old wives’ tale.
Even on what I call my lowest days I have followed her rule but not just for my underwear. I start each day with a fresh attitude and following my purpose.
As the Jewish High Holidays approach, I have been looking back at the past year(s) and reflecting on what I believe I did right and what I have may have done differently. I don’t believe I have been sinful towards myself or anyone else. I have allowed myself more opportunities to be mindful as well as learning from those opportunities. Growing up I saw the challenges and negativity as I tried to be perfect, not understanding that perfection is not real except getting 100% on a test. However, that may not be perfection either if your answers were memorized without substance to what the questions were.
When I returned to college in 2010, I chose to complete my degrees online. My choice was based on the fact that I had to put the effort into learning and not memorizing. My work would be reflecting in research and writing and not just memorizing information that had no meaning. When completing my master’s license in communications (with honors) I knew I had accomplished one task on my purpose. It was this accomplishment in 2013 that has provided me with choices to live my purpose.
So, what is that purpose? My purpose is to find the best in myself and to share it with others. It’s not about bragging or expecting others to follow my path. This is my opportunity to share what is real for me, allowing others to seek their purpose.
If you are questioning your beliefs, your path, your future it may be time to work with a coach who will assist you in unlocking the doors to the opportunities you may not see for yourself. #YESICAN coaching with Karen 440-526-1530 [email protected]
Wising everyone a Happy, Health, and Purposeful רֹאשׁ הַשָּׁנָה – 5784
May we be written in the Book of Life.
Labor Day weekend for many means time off from work and maybe experiencing last minute summer activities which may include preparing your lawn and flowers beds for the Autumn and Winter months to follow. For others it’s like any other weekend, no special plans except putting our white shoes and summer clothes in storage for the next 9 months (remember I live in Northeast Ohio where Summer is only 3 months long!)
According to the stats on Wikipedia we have been celebrating Labor Day for 141 years, since 1882. “Labor Day is a federal holiday in the United States celebrated on the first Monday in September to honor and recognize the American labor movement and the works and contributions of laborers to the development and achievements of the United States. The three-day weekend it falls on is called Labor Day Weekend.” Wikipedia
Labor Day is more than the SALES as businesses make the attempt to bring you in to BUY! The group of workers this holiday aims to celebrate will be employed while many of us play or sleep the hours away. They will tempt us with their advertising and hope will succumb to fill our wants, not necessarily our needs.
I too will be working but that is by choice, sharing my voice and listening to the voices of others who want or need to be heard. As a personal coach I know how important it is to be mindful of our emotions and to respect our feelings. Approaching our thoughts with love and kindness for ourselves is one way we can reduce anger and our negative thoughts from developing. Our anger is often a way for us to mask our hurt feelings. When we are emotionally aware our relationship with self and others is at its strongest.
As we begin this Labor Day Weekend and the 4th quarter of 2023, we may want to ask ourselves if we are where we want to be, and where is that? Personally, I spent the first 50 years of my life thinking and dreaming of where I wanted to be, and except on a few occasions I stepped forward to nurture my needs. Today I want to encourage you and those you may know to take the steps to fulfill your wants and needs. #YESICAN Coaching with Karen let’s take the journey together.
TIME
Do you ever ask yourself, “Where has the time gone?” There are 24 hours in a day, 168 hours in a week, and 8,736 hours in a year. We all have the same amount of time, however, depending on how we use the minutes and hours in our life often determines how we make the most from time.
Some of us are known as clock watchers. We wake up with just enough time to get ready for work, and once there we watch the clock until lunch time and the end of day. During those hours a work we fret over the time we are missing with family, errands, and just having fun. When we have that window of time, we often squander it, never finding the time for those things we identify as missing.
There are a group of us identified as work alcoholics. We go from one thing to another, keeping busy seems to be our reason for existing and we too do not find the time to all the things we claim we want to do because we are too busy doing something else. Sadly, we believe we must do it now and often that we are the only ones who can do it. (Whatever IT is!)
Personally, I spent more than half of my life being busy. The more I did the more valuable I thought I would be and appreciated. If you would have asked me at the end of the day what I had accomplished, I was too embarrassed that my multi-tasking was causing me to make mistakes and I grew up being told mistakes should not be made. I had to work harder to make the corrections to prove once again how capable I was.
Somewhere between the ages of 50 and 55, I finally got smart(er), and realized I was only fooling myself. I was working so hard because I didn’t want to squander the hours in each day, week, or year, and yet I was depleted. Waking up and asking myself, “Where has the time gone?” was not the life I wanted to live, I had to move forward. But how could I change?
I started going to therapy and the first therapist led me to grandiose ideas and after about four months of treatment realized I was going in the wrong direction AGAIN. I tried motivating myself but initially all the positive mantras I recited felt shallow and eventually I knew I needed something else. That something else was a mentor or coach, someone who would help me see what I wanted, not tell me what I want. I found a group of women who facing similar obstacles and realized that there were many paths I could take to create my new journey. I also learned that it was OK to make mistakes and learn from our mistakes. (What a concept!)
Because of my experiences, both positive and negative, I completed both my bachelors and master’s slowly changing my direction, finding my passion, and making it my focus. It’s been a slow and steady climb up the mountain where my coaches showed me, I could turn obstacles into challenges and challenges into personal successes.
Today at age 73 (proud to wear that number and share it), I am a podcaster, a podcast producer, a website designer, and a coach. I have accomplished this as I focused on my passion helping others while I help myself. I’m excited to share with my clients that we all have the ability to find happiness and that life is here for us to live it and use the time each day to smile. There will be days of tears and pure frustration but if we choose to find the sliver of sunshine come from behind the clouds we will smile.
“Keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.”
– Marilyn Monroe
For more information on #YESICAN coaching with Karen – [email protected]
Motivational Speaking
Some thoughts to consider from some well-known motivational speakers. I can almost guarantee you that these individuals did not aspire to be motivational speakers when they were children. However, they learn through others the need we all have, and motivation is the key. If you can think back to your days as a crawling baby being cheered up and motivated to walk, when you took those steps there was a reward waiting for you, often the comfort of your mother’s arms catching you before you fell. In a perfect world, parents are the first set of coaches in our life, followed by family, friends, teachers, etc.
Sadly, in our world today we are taught to tend to ourselves, and we are dependent on how well we were coached and if that is the direction in which we want to go. For some like me I was a rule follower and pleaser and did not take time to look both ways and alter my direction until the age of 50! Do not say you can’t make the changes you desire, you can, and #YESICAN coaching with Karen can guide you. Age is not just a number, but it is a number that allows you to say, #YESICAN!
Here are some quotes from Motivators that you may recognize.
Tony Robbins
“If you can’t, you must. If you must, you can.
This quote is the motivation I need to be the best ME – and I would like to assist you walk down the path that motivates YOU!
Wayne Dyer
“If you believe it will work out, you’ll see opportunities. If you believe it won’t, you will see obstacles.”
For many like me I saw opportunities as obstacles and too often turned and ran in the opposite direction. However, when I read this quote almost 10 years ago my brain shifted to turning obstacles into opportunities.
Jack Canfield
“Taking the first step is the difference between actually pursuing your passion and just dreaming about it.”
Dreaming can be so exhilarating, creating a present or a future of the ‘perfect’ life. However, dreams are stagnate they are stories we create from our subconscious more during sleep but also day dreaming with eyes wide one. Taking the first step, one at a time leading to our passion that calls for us.
Mel Robins
“I have a hard time finding the balance between not beating myself up when it doesn’t happen as fast as I’d like it to, and not wasting time while I wait for it to happen.”
I used to have a hard time – today working with coaches and providing coaching I have learn that if you can do it so can I, so I need to stop wasting time…
David Coggins
“Don’t stop when you’re tired. Stop when you’re done.”
I have to ask myself, am I tired or am I tired of trying. If I don’t keep trying, I will be left at this spot and is it where I want to be? If the answer is no, I must continue forging ahead. Follow my passion and you can too!
Karen at: [email protected]
When you choose happiness and positivity do not expect you will feel this 100% of the time. Something as simple as a song or witnessing something horrific can alter our emotional state and we are smiling and laughing one minute, and not the next. When coaches like me recommend finding the positive in the moment we need to be clear that is not always easy to conjure up that feeling, and that is OK. It is important for us to feel and sense our emotions and find the triggers for our contentment as well as for our anxieties.
Do not confuse anxiety with depression. Many professionals identify anxiety as: “Feeling nervous, restless, or tense. Having a sense of impending danger, panic, or doom. Having an increased heart rate.” While driving as I approach a bridge I experience anxiety, my brain keeps telling me to pull over or go another direction, when possible that is what I do, when it’s not my heart rate increases, I feel like screaming (and if alone I do scream), but if I am mindful I allow what ever is in front of me to be my focus and carry me to the other side.
When I tried to identify my anxiety, I was informed by one of my therapists that these four often may lead to those emotional (unrealistic) feelings.
- Generalized anxiety disorder
- Panic disorder
- Social anxiety disorder
- Various phobia-related disorders
Generalized anxiety disorder – for me this is over-thinking a situation. Starting a new job, working with a new client, taking a class, etc.
Panic disorder – this is what I experience when driving over a bridge or when confronted with heights.
Social anxiety disorder – we may not all suffer from this, however; many of us experience it. When you are in a crowd at a sporting event, movie theatre, or very large entertainment venue – the feelings of not belonging, not fitting in, experiencing imposter syndrome are just a few anxieties you may experience.
Phobia related disorders – I have a fear of rodents- I cannot look at them even on TV or in a Movie. I am so squeamish I feel ill, even thinking of them!
Happiness – although for some it’s the opposite of sadness, despair, or grief; for me happiness is a state of contentment even when I feel those emotions. Happiness for me is not all about. ‘Lollipops and rainbows or roses,” it often is my neutral gear that allows me to experience the sadness while looking forward to reaching the other end of the spectrum. I have learned that while others may enhance my happiness, I am the only one who can choose to be HAPPY.
Let me join you on your journey and let’s experience the path to your happiness!
email [email protected] for a free introductory coaching session
I have learned a lot about myself over the past couple of years. I learned that I am a good person and that the reflection I see in the mirror is who I am and if that reflection does not meet my mission in life to be the best version of myself then I, and I alone, must do something about it.
We all carry baggage with us through this journey called life. Some of the items we cart around are unnecessary, just like those heavy backpacks the youth of today carry around. Not only do they have their books, computer, and other necessities for school, but they also have items that may belong in the trash or lost items of clothing that may need laundering. I know I have been carrying a whole lot of negative feelings about myself and relationships and I was getting so bogged down my energy level for self-care was not a priority. However, my podcasting and desire to help others motivated me to shed some of the weight by emptying my backpack on the ground and sorting through those feelings and allowing myself to be honest and vulnerable.
Now my mother always said, “Don’t hang out your dirty laundry for others to see!” However, in this area of parenting I disagree with her. If I had been more honest with myself and others it is possible that I could have worked out these issues that weighed heavily on my shoulders.
I have chosen Coaching because I understand life and the twists and turns that we witness can stifle our needs, destroy our passions, and let us believe we have no options only obstacles with challenges. However, when you allow yourself to be honest you can open up a whole new world of positive emotions that allow you to see obstacles as something you can avoid by taking the fork in the road and being mindful to your selfcare. When you come face to face with the wall in the maze and stay there without looking to your right, to your left, to see the possibilities that await you.
Don’t end 2023 wishing you had taken a step forward and didn’t! What is your excuse, and please don’t say you don’t have time, that is a defense we have all used until we realize how worthwhile a 50-minute coaching session can be, it opens doors and opportunities. Provide yourself with the self-care you deserve.
Stop lying and spreading bullshit! I am tired of hearing how many coaches claim to be making 6 figures in a short amount of time counted by months and not years. In fact, they all want us to buy into their BS by offering classes or books on how they did it. Really??? There may be a handful of people who have created this wonderful business overnight but what are they charging their clients to earn 6 figures?
“The average cost of a life coach is $120 per hour, with a typical range of $75 to $200 per hour. “
Now if you are just starting out most coaches begin at a rate of $50 – $100, in order to make the 6 figures I will let you do the math…
The coaches who are earning upwards to $750 – $1000 per month per client either have a background in counseling or therapy and often are moving their practice over to coaching where it is self-paid, and the hassle of insurance is eliminated. However, let’s be honest, the majority of us searching for answers and choosing a coach to guide us do not have $1000 a month to pay out.
When I chose to begin my coaching practice, I designed it to be a resource for individuals like me who don’t have the funds to pay out enormous amounts of money. My clients find the funds that make the coaching affordable and beneficial. Although I agree that we must invest in ourselves I do not believe that the cost of investment should have my clients choosing whether they can eat or not, take medication or not, or give up the essentials they need to work to better themselves.
For those coaches who are truly making 6 figures a year just in their coaching practice alone I believe you had the resources/network/and investment to get to your rung on the ladder. However, earning a 6+ figure a year does not make you a better coach than individuals like me. I commend you on developing a program to sell to coaches and would be coaches, my question is to those of you who bought into these programs what is your real earning power?
I work with some great coaches, and I am impressed by the value they bring to their clients. I do not think they are 6+ figure earners, but they are the best of the best and clients there are proof of this.
I want to make an offer to those of you who may think I am crying over spilled milk, the fact that my clients may pay me less makes me want to do more for them. I am empathetic to the needs of my clients, and I will not take on a client that I do not think I can assist. I am willing to support those who may want to find someone other than me, and as a coach advocate, I do a lot of referrals.
If you are looking to become the best version of yourself, I am asking you to make a small investment in yourself. Don’t wait for 2024, January 1 is not a magical date. The magical date is today…
Call me at 440 526 1530 or email to: [email protected] – let’s talk and set up a personalized plan.
It Happened Again
So, it’s coming up on Flu Season time and Rich and I missed the last COVID update so Friday evening we were scheduled for our vaccines, and we also added the RSV one as well. With an autoimmune disorder (me) and diabetes (Rich) we are all about vaccines to keep us safe from those who may get sick and pass it our way. Since my first Pfizer COVID I have gotten sick each time for 24 – 48 hours. My symptoms are massive migraine (my Imitrex does not touch it), fatigue where every joint is painful, and movement is difficult and sometimes not possible. Just getting out of bed to use the toilet is excruciating with assistance. This weekend was no different! By midnight Friday night I was so exhausted, but I hurt so much I could not sleep. Each hour got worse and by Saturday morning I could not imagine feeling better. All day Saturday I tried slow breathing exercises and focusing on something to distract me, but it became more and more difficult as the day went on.
My husband tried his best to be supportive and caring but when he sees me like this, he gets scared and depressed. He knew I didn’t want him staring at me all day, so he excused himself and spent the day downstairs only coming up when I needed something like more water or a trip to the bathroom. Each time he would ask, “Are you feeling better?” and all I wanted to do was scream but couldn’t. Whatever was affecting me, I had a terrible dry mouth, fever and chills and then sweated it out. I was not a pretty sight. Around 7 or 7:30pm I thought I was feeling well enough to venture downstairs for some toast only to realize I could not keep my head up at the table…
Sunday morning, I woke up feeling better, still weak but able to maneuver on my own. I could barely eat breakfast and I was ready for a nap shortly after. I spent most of the day moving slowly, I felt like I had run a marathon, my body just did not want to cooperate. Late in the day Rich took me out for a late lunch and early dinner where oddly I was able to maintain a sense of well-being but once we got in the car, I just spaced out relaxing as best I could. The day was not a total loss but, being a beautiful summer day, I felt cheated out of missing it.
Today is Monday and I am glad I have nothing on my schedule as I needed today to regroup and find my land legs. I am feeling more like my natural self, and I will just put the last two days on the calendar of events I hope will be my worst. If so, I’m good to go.
This is not meant to tell others not to get vaccinated. Please note since this has happened to me before that is why we chose to have our vaccines on Friday night so any down time would not affect work or other obligations. I’m feeling positive that I can welcome Autumn with a healthier glow and plan for the beautiful days ahead. I may have missed a lot of summer due to health issues but as they say, “That’s Life!”
Just remember these lyrics sung by Frank Sinatra (Songwriter(s): Dean Kay; Kelly Gordon)
I said that’s life
(That’s life)
And as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks
Stomping on a dream
But I don’t let it, let it get me down
Cause this fine old world, it keeps spinnin’ around
I’ve been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet
A pawn and a king
I’ve been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing
Each time I find myself
Flat on my face
I pick myself up and get
Back in the race
I began #YESICAN coaching because my father always reminded his kids that if we want to do something we could do it. I watched my father battle health issues my whole life, and I was blessed to have my father in my life for 54 years. Despite my own health issues I face the challenges and create opportunities because, “That’s the GOOD Life.”
Karen at: [email protected]
Are you ready to make the changes in your life that you have chosen for yourself? If you would like the support of a COACH who has made changes to her journey and has found how to take the first and second steps, contact #YESICAN coaching with Karen at [email protected]
As a coach not only will I provide you with the tools to boost your confidence, improve your positive outlook, and assist you in using your voice more effectively, you will make the choices on how this will enhance your life’s journey. We will build the toolbox that will help you take your next step(s).
Together we will embrace our humanity. It is important that we begin the Coaching journey with compassion for ourselves. It is not uncommon we come to a coaching session filled with negativity, providing compassion to others leaving ourselves void.
If you continue to see yourself in a negative manner using words like should have, or I wish I had, or why was I so dumb? You may never reach your potential. Isn’t time to say, #YESICAN!
Begin your journey today –
Do you believe the hype you read on social media? Is everyone else finding their pot of gold and living life to the fullest…you know having a perfect life?
If you believe it, you are buying into a world of hurt. Life is not perfect. Occasionally we have perfect moments, but they fade into reality and unless we are willing to challenge ourselves and slay the windmills like Don Quixote, we may never be happy.
I have lived most of my life want to be more like someone else and it wasn’t until I took the steps to improve my life (and that means allowing myself to evolve into ME, and not YOU, or ANYONE else) was the day that I looked into the mirror and chose to like me.
Now I thought this was weird, but I remembering my father waking up each morning and looking in the bathroom mirror before he shaved or brush, shouting: “Good Morning Handsome.” Now my pops was a good-looking man and he was not being conceited he was setting the tone for his day with positivity.
My father was born in 1917 and within the first few months of his birthday he was a victim of the Spanish Flu. The doctors told his mother and father to plan a funeral, he was not expected to live. Yet he did to the age of 87, however the Spanish Flu affected his heart and as a young adult till his death he suffered with Angina. He was one of the first bypass surgeries at Harper Hospital in Detroit in December 1974. As a child and young adult, I remember sitting in hospital waiting rooms thinking my father was dying.
My father’s legacy to me was to open my eyes and make changes that would make me happier (not perfect.) It took me a long time to see his vision but when I started to make lifestyle changes, I began seeing the glass half full. Additionally, I ventured out of my comfort zone, and I am now able to make mistakes without fear and or judgement. This led me to podcasting and coaching.
Everyday I see people just like me, wanting more but they think they must reach the pot of gold. Without financial abundance they see more negative options than positive ones.
Let me ask you – all of you reading this, why is it that we believe if I get that next promotion and raise, or I win the lottery everything will be perfect (and as I have said there is no perfection!) I heard Bill Gates once told his employees that they would never receive all 10’s on an evaluation. The reason being that not even GOD is perfect. It is about the effort we put into our actions!
I used to describe myself as a people pleaser. In fact, I used that as my strength on various job interviews (and I did not win the job), the last time I used this comment I was told by the Interviewer to go home and reconsider my options and actions. When I asked why I was told that company had over 2000 employees and many of them would be levels above me. How did I plan on pleasing all of them – “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”. (Poet, John Lydgate and later adapted by President Lincoln).
What if you please others what does it take away from you?
We all need someone to coach us through life, not all the time but some of the time, and I can do that with you. We can take a walk down the road you would like to explore and determine though experience if this journey or if you need to take the next fork in the road.
In April 2023 when I announced I was opening my virtual door to Life Coaching, based on the podcast Avoid the Maze, I offered an introductory plan. This plan will go away on July 10th and so if you are anyone you know wants to dip your/their toes into working with me (#YESICAN) Karen, now is the time to set up a schedule that will work for you.
Many coaches, just like me, have chosen to use their degree, additional certifications, and life experiences to help others. I am not a therapist, I am not a doctor or a nurse, I will not be prescribing medication. What I will be doing is guiding you through what you want to do, and I may offer up pathways that you may not have considered. You will be the captain of your ship/coaching session. There is no right way or wrong way to proceed, accept you must face any change with a positive approach.
Four weeks ago, I fell and re-injured my femur. I was taken from the spot of the accident to the hospital ER. I was unable to move the lower left part of my body without excruciating pain. Once admitted to the hospital some 10 hours after the initial accident, I focused on how I would positively accept my diagnosis and work from that point to healing. Without much explanation here I was bedridden for 4 days and sent to a rehab facility. It was from that moment on, knowing my diagnosis and what I was going to have to do, I began biting the bullet and DOING IT. Every time I moved, and it hurt, 100 on a 1 -10 scale, I told myself it was going to be OK, I needed to slowly get myself back to moving. The 4 days flat on my back had already contributed to some negative signals to my body.
The Physical Therapists and the Aides at the facility were wonderful, they were patient, they showed me how to move with less pain, I learned new maneuvers that will be beneficial going forward. These individuals were my coaches and some still are as I continue in PT. It would be easy to say I can’t do it, but if I want to heal and get better, it is in my best interest to listen and create a new path for me. This is what I do with my clients. I will never tell them what to change and how to change it but if they are unhappy or feeling emotional pain, I will provide them with tools to assist them.
Just a bit of who I am – I am a daughter (even though both of my parents are deceased), I am a sister, a wife, a mother, sister-in-law, aunt, cousin, friend, writer, podcaster, software trainer, and coach. However, when we meet in a coaching situation, I am the girl next story that compared herself to the “in crowd”, wanting to look or be like someone else, always trying to please others to be excepted. But I got smart as an adult… “I am ME; I AM Just AS Different As YOU, Together we are UNIQUE!”
Coaching and Why You May Need It and Why I Need to Coach!
You may need a Coach and not a therapist if you are feeling anxious – Your anxiety may be treated with some simple tools that coaching will offer. The coaching community claims approximately 6.8 million Americans experience anxiety. Women are twice as likely to identify their anxiety and seek a resolution. This is not an exclusive group, anxiety is not about being rich or poor, it is an equal opportunity disorder that is controllable.
I get anxious as I drive down the freeway and a bridge or a large overpass is in my sight. Heights make me anxious, therefore a bridge or overpass signifies fear and results in my heart racing, voices tell me to pull over to the edge of the road. Although I have the urge to slam on my break and wait in the middle of the road for someone to take control of my car and get it to the other side, I always manage to do it myself, but it is physically painful. However, one of my mentors recommended that when I find myself in this situation, I need to have contact with the car in front of me and imagine that car is pulling me along to safety. With my eyes set forward on the back of the car and the license plate I cross that bridge or overpass with ease. I have the tools; I just need to use them!
As your coach I promise not to sympathize with you, but I will empathize with you.
As your coach I will encourage you to work through one issue at a time. One resolution may provide you with achieving the other things that you may want or need assistance resolving.
As your coach I promise to be open with you and share my wants and needs and the tools I use. A coaching session is not a competition is an opportunity for you to remove the weights you are carrying around. Think of coaching to clear out some of the weight in your backpack of concerns. Be mindful of the opportunities you will have to unload your overwhelming thoughts and know you are not alone.
As your coach, all “PERSONAL” information in our hourly coaching sessions will not be shared. I believe in your privacy and boundaries will be maintained by both of us.
Each session will be paid for in advance to ensure your commitment to our meeting.
Meetings will take place via zoom, and I recommend that my clients be in a safe and quiet place during our meetings.
It is important that you understand the difference between coaching, counseling, and therapy. I am trained in communications major. I have also taken online business courses for coaching, and I continue to take classes and meeting with my mentor coaches to be at my best for my clients.
Typically, I recommend 6 sessions – the first one is a get to know you at $0 cost.
The next 5 during my special offer through the end of July will be $25 each Payable prior to each session via PayPal. I will invoice you 24-48 hours prior to our meeting to give you the time to process payment.
(Please note the special fee plan will be honored for individuals who start their coaching with me before August 1, 2023.)
On August 1, 2023, my fee will be $50 per 1 hour session – $250 for 6 sessions, the first one at $0 as we both determine if you are the client for me and if I am the coach for you. If you and I both determine additional visits beyond the first 6 are needed, you will be charged $50 per session until we agree that you have progressed.
I am looking forward to being your coach, your guide, and providing you the assistance you may need, but you will be doing the work!
Tony Robbins says: ““Don’t find fault, find a remedy.”
Positive thoughts lead to Positive Actions, Negative Thoughts lead to a DEEP DARK HOLE! So let’s think positive.
Despite my son’s emergency surgery and playing doctor mom,
Despite this pinched nerve trying to render me UNABLE,
Coaching and the reason why you might want to seek me out. I may not have all the answers how to obtain the things we want in our life. However, I do know that the trial and error I have been able to find happiness and contentment through my life journey to date. Since I don’t have an expiration date stamped on my body, there is no reason for me to stop looking at what may lie ahead.
In the Personal Intelligence Program, designed by Shirzad Chamine, I was introduced to PQ reps. Now I must admit, as I took this 6-week course I was skeptical; however, I realized I learned a great deal and I have changed some bad habits into good habits. Even now as I sit here writing I am using some of those technics.
Candace Pollock, The Intentionality Gurus, took a group of us through the Positive Intelligence Course. Upon completing the course, a group of us chose to remain in an extended learning pod where we can discuss skills we have gained as PI focusing on feelings and how these physical, emotional, mental hi-jacks often produce unwanted results. Some of the technics I learned I have used in the past but like a physical exercise too often I stop because I want to believe, “I Got This.”
For example, one of the PQ Reps is simply rubbing your thumb up against your pointer finger. Shirzad walks you through a 1 -2-minute exercise and has you focus on the ridges of your thumb and finger. As I did this exercise, I became frustrated as I have no ridges, my finger pads are smooth. It took me weeks to find the exercise beneficial as I used this method, and it was about noticing the feeling and breaking away from a task or thoughts that were flooding through my mind. That simple exercise has strengthened my brain and heart to respond in a more positive state being present in the moment and not being judgmental.
Another technic I have learned is using my listening skills to be more aware of what is happening in my head and what I don’t want to hear in my head. Those sounds, voices, or photo reels that pop-up and pull us in the wrong direction can be harmful. In fact, for the last two years, I considered Coaching to be the path I wanted to enter down. When I completed my master’s license in 2013 – I began podcasting, blogging, and being a sideline cheer leader. In 2017 when I met Candace Pollock, we developed “The Intentionality Gurus” Podcast. From day one I have served as her guinea pig having her walk me through exercises or asking me questions that took me deep into my body, places I never explored in the past.
It was two years ago that I made a pledge to myself that I would take the steps to provide coaching to my clients (and I am seeking Clients as I write this.) Upon my announcement on April 1, 2023, I have been able to sign-on my first two clients. So, if are seeking guidance as you walk down the path of life, email me at [email protected]
We all need to stop saying and believing that we have an incurable life…
My father taught to never say, “I can’t.”
When I work with you know that I too have a past with various demons, but I continuously work on that part of my life because I am able to make changes and so can you.
#YES I CAN is the name of the personal coaching program I am offering. I have based the coaching style on “The Avoid the Maze” podcast. https://studio.youtube.com/podcast/Avoidthemaze
If you would like to learn more or sign up for a 6 week session please contact Karen at [email protected]
Special intro rates for the first 90 days of Business April through the first week of July 2023 will be $25/per 50 minute session or $150 for 6 weeks. As of the second week of July 2023 coaching rates will be established at $55/ per 50 minute session or $330 for 6 weeks. (Payment through Zelle of Paypal accepted. ) All sessions will be through Zoom.
Spaces are filling up for the Introductory Rate so please take a moment and consider facing the challenges you want to overcome. ONLY you CAN DO IT, so say, YES I CAN
This is not a Joke!
It may be April Fool’s Day but it is no Joke, I’ve been thinking about putting up a shingle that says:
Karen Moss Hale – Coach & Advocating for YOU!
My podcast Avoid the Maze has led me down the path to provide a safe and comfortable dialogue between myself as the coach and my clients.
My Credentials include the following:
My BA degree is in Communications plus I have obtained a Master’s License in Communications.
I was the founder of the “Chronic Pain Support Group” coaching those who suffer from Chronic Pain (50 million in the United States). Coaching included meeting with patients, doctors, nurses, therapists, and family members to assist in finding Pain Management Facilities and aligning individuals up with the proper resources.
As the Co-Founder of I’mPOSSIBLE I worked with my youngest son Alex to develop a coaching forum to educate and support individuals and their families with Special Needs.
I have worked as a trainer in various corporate venues including Chrysler, Ernst & Young, and BP America.
I have provided one on one training on various subjects including software and hardware, an essential today.
I was a Counselor by job description; however, I coached students in finding the career path they thought they wanted while looking at other opportunities that may fulfill their need more than their want.
As a podcaster I have used my communication skills to listen and respond, practicing mindfulness, which is necessary for a coach.
I have been a client of several coaches gaining the understanding from both sides of the table.
I have had a passion to be a positive influence for others walking their path with them and ensuring that they take each step with their eyes and mind wide open.
Coaching is not counseling or therapy. The coach, like me is there to walk the client through the steps it will take to achieve their personal goals.
[Today I proclaim I have a PURPOSE! In addition to Podcasting and coaching my Podcasters, I am seeking clients that I hope I can support them as they walk their path. If I am not the right fit, I will assist them in finding another coach. This is not about me; it is about extending that hand to someone in need.]
For the next three months as I begin this new journey, I will be offering a very special one-time fee. If you know of someone who may be looking for a coach, please contact me at: [email protected] in the subject line type COACH.
“Be Careful What You Wish For You Just May Get It …
Know what you wish for and be prepared for it…
HAPPINESS IS IN YOUR HEART…”
Karen Hale, Producer, Web Designer, Blogger & Coaching Advocate & Life Coach
Are you looking for a Coach? Someone to guide you through the challenges that you may find to be overwhelming or are pondering make a change in your life and you need some guidance (not therapy) contact me at [email protected] – let me provide you with a pathway to Coaching. Let’s share our journeys and find a path for you with the support you may need.
Karen [email protected]
Welcome to my new identity! Who said you can’t seek out a new career?
My new identity is Coach Advocate. To advocate means getting support from another person to help you express your views and wishes, and help you stand up for your rights. Someone who helps you in this way is called your advocate. I want to be your Coach Advocate.
Four years ago I began producing a podcast with Candace Pollock, The Intentionality Gurus. I chose to be her guinea pig for each podcast as she would walk me and our listeners through personal coaching scenarios. As a certified coach, Candace not only helped me see the changes I wanted to make but also showed me how I could. Once I saw the path and the forks in the road I began evolving into the person I am today and I am still walking the path.
Before meeting Candace I was not quite sure what a coach did, I had assumed they were a therapist (Psychologist or Psychiatrist) until I learned anyone can call themselves. However the coaches I am referring and to and those I will be advocating for are individuals who have taken courses and have become certified in this field of study. They are the individuals wh0 sought out this program of assistance often due to an obstacle or challenge in their own life.
For the past year as the host of Avoid the Maze (my podcast) https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSdL23sBfgglvxEjZXu-qhyXPYzGo0Exw I have been hosting coaches across the United States an beyond in Sweden and Australia to name a few areas. What I have learned as I have conversed about what led them to this new profession, many leaving high powered corporate positions as well as i figure salaries, we helping others as they continued to heal. The more I spoke to these wonderful and very vulnerable individuals the more I have gained an immense respect for them and I chose not only to help them grow by referring clients, maybe you, to them, I would be fulfilling another bucket list of mine, helping others!
Today I took an assessment today and I was not surprised to note that one of my Saboteur’s is pleasing others. I used to believe that if I helped others and fulfilled their needs and dreams I would be happy. For most of my life I wasn’t able to identify my happiness and what this assessment showed me (today was not the first time I took this), that I was being sabotaged by the thought and commitment to attempting to make others happy. In fact our HAPPY MOOD may increase our endorphins and that look joyfulness may be contagious but you have to be mindful to let the joy seep in. What I have been learning over the last four years is that if I want to be the assistant that guides, supports and leads you, I must be able to lead myself or reach for the hand of someone to coach me through “my angst.”
I love the aspect of coaching and I have opened my mind in ach conversational podcast as I hear, listen, and savour the words. I may not be in 100% agreement with someone’s delivery but being exposed to the variety of people who are successful coaches brought me to this realization…I can lead you to bounty of support, all you need to do is acknowledge you want to make changes in your life and reach out to 1, 2, or 100 while seeking someone to keep you accountable. A good coach will not tell you what to do or how to do it, a good coach will ask you opened ended questions that you must answer.
Now since this is a new career move for me and most careers have a financial component to them, I am still in the stage of putting that piece together. Since I am not a coach, and even if I take the certification courses, I do not see that as my pathway. My path is to keep finding more coaches and expanding upon their specialty and the whys that brought them to this practice. Then through networking I can guide individuals like yourself to ones that I believe would be a good fit.
I am excited and I hope you are too.
Karen [email protected]
D5 Creation