December, 2018
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Thanking you
As I end the year and begin a new, I want to thank you the listeners, the podcasters, our sponsors and all my friends and family for allowing me to share with you this past year. I am looking forward to some new journeys in 2019, and I ask for your support as I Believe I CAN do Anything I set my Heart on. My Heart is set to enjoy life and live it to the fullest.
STOP ASKING WHY!
Please do not ask someone why they are anxious or depressed, often they cannot provide themselves with an explanation so why assume they will be able to communicate with you? Anxiety is normal it is part of the flight or fight process. Without a touch of anxiety, we could place ourselves in harm’s way walking up to roaring Lion or crossing the railroad track as a train comes towards us at full speed. However, anxiety that produces dread for seconds, minutes or longer can interfere with our normal routines. I know I went through this five years ago. Up until that time I pushed and prodded through often with tears and mood swings blaming it on trivial things like a broken nail, I gained a few pounds, or I was not included in an invitation. Oh whoa was me! However, those situations were just the triggers, they weren’t the reason, and sometimes we never figure out the whys!
Anxiety can affect us all in different ways including irritable bowel, obsessive-compulsive needs, and migraines, just to name a few obvious ones. In my case IB and Migraines are my malady and recently (over the past few weeks) I have had an increase in Migraine attacks along with this on again, off again of foreboding. My fear is my anxiety will deepen and take me into depression and I won’t and can’t have that as part of my journey.
The series that I am planning for 2019 will not only help me face the demons that invaded my thought pattern, but it will bring me closer to others while I share my story I will listen to theirs. It is only in this common thread of true and open communication that we can face this disease head-on. Yes, anxiety and depression by medical terminology are diseases, and although they do not need to be terminal without support, understanding, and acceptance, for some, it is life-threatening.
This week has been difficult despite the love, friendship and support of family and friends. However, please know there is still a brewing demon called anxiety living within in me, and I must become more intentional in my thoughts and living to extinguish what is not needed for survival.
DEPRESSION _ SUCKS
It came from out of nowhere – the feeling of something is wrong, but why and what. Sitting at my desk reviewing Facebook post and emails before heading off to the gym, this wave of ANXIETY hit! I could feel a low ebbing tidal wave approach, and I got up and said to myself, why now? This happened to me about five years ago during the winter of 2013, and I tumbled fast into a pit of despair! It took months of medication trials, a change of work scenery and getting my physical and emotional side to come to terms with the word DEPRESSION. DEPRESSION sucks! It is not something we choose, and often it sneaks up on us, and we are aware of the chemical both inside and out changes that are occurring. I can say all I want I will not go there, and this time I will fight like a warrior to stop this flood up unknown feelings!
Please do not tell me or anyone else you know who may experience this malady to get over it; they can’t just do anything, they will need to work through it as I will too. What works for me may not be the same course of action for another, but you must accept and tolerate that what we feel is real even if it is unexplainable. Some like myself may pretend to be ‘OK,’ well others will take refuge in solitary personal confinement. Sadly some will turn to self-medicate, beware and know you may need to pick up the pieces. I will work through this maze of discomfort through self-talk, journaling, sharing my voice out loud so I may hear my thoughts through a different filter.
Bruno Mars sings: “Is it strange that i talk to my self (oh oh oh oh oh oh)
Is it weird when I hear someone else (oh oh oh oh oh oh)
what do I do (what do I do)
There’s no more you (There’s no more you)
And I tell me you’ll be coming home (coming home)
Is it strange I believe them again (oh oh oh)
Voices in my head, the voices, the voices
Voices in my head.”[1]
Although Bruno wrote this as a love song, the refrain says it all; we allow an inner voice to invade us and tell us what may or may not be true. Through my podcasting with Candace Pollock[2], the Intentionality Gurus has taught me to be more intentional in my thinking. When this wave of anxiety or uncertainty hits me in the gut, it is time to take a deep breath and focus and cleanse the demons out. It may not be easy, and along the path, I may stumble and fall, but I will get back up, I will stand tall.[3]
[1] Read more: Bruno Mars – Voices In My Head Lyrics | MetroLyrics
[2] https://www.spreaker.com/show/the-intentionality-gurus-with-candace-po
[3]To prove or display one’s pride, confidence, or fortitude.
Changes for 2019 Join Me!
It will soon be 2019; it seems like it was just 1999 and the year 2000 was a potential fearful new beginning. However, despite all the hype 1999 rolled into 2000 without a hitch, the World continued to orbit although there have been days I have wanted to scream: “Stop the World, I want to get off![1]” However, life does not work that way, and the rotation continues.
I have experienced many life changes in the past 20 years, and as we head into 2019, I have plans for additional events that will not only allow me to grow but will include many of you. So here is how you can join me on a journey of friendship and love.
- If you like music and enjoy having company, contact me care of [email protected]. Newclevelandradio, LLC., we will plan a house concert for you to host in your home. A house concert is just what you think it is, a concert at your home. You provide us with the type of music you would like to have presented. Guarantee a minimum of $200 (which you can collect through ticket sales.) We will help you do the rest through social media. This is an opportunity to meet performers and host a private event that will enrich your life as well as your guests.
- Do you have a dream? “If you will it, it is no dream.”[2] Join us for a monthly series: “It’s My Life, I Can’t Do It Alone.” A special thank you to Sheila James [3], Sheila is my inspiration for starting this series. I have dreamt about who I want to be, and for the last five years I have been taking baby steps in that direction, well now I am taking a giant step, and it’s not just about me, but you too. We will share dreams once a month in a forum where you will get to know me and the people who inspire me.
- Adding new shows on newclevelandradio.net. We will be encouraging the inspirational people who you will be meeting to continue their stories and share information to help us all follow the path that is best for us.
- Beginning an Entertainment Series at Vista Springs. This is not just local school or church performers although I look forward to bringing them into Vista Springs to become part of the community, however, in 2019 I will be introducing the community members, staffers, the families as well as all of you to join us for monthly live music/comedy performances at Vista Springs.
Music is a universal language and comedy brings out the endorphins for physical and emotional healing. We cannot do it alone, and neither can you! We will create a venue that will provide us with sunshine even on a cloudy, gloomy day here in northeast Ohio.
- This is the year of positive living; we will touch on topics like healthcare and self-care. Self-care is not always a solo journey, as the name of this series indicates, “It’s My Life, I Can’t Do It Alone,” we will discuss the concept of asking for help and aiding another.
My journey is not unlike the one you may be traveling, however, let me guide you, and please feel free to guide me as well. Let’s live in our lives in harmony.
One of my very special guest speakers will be Candace Pollock from the Intentionality Gurus[4]. Candace and I have been hosting a podcast. Candace is a certified Personal Coach[5], she and I have been working together since March 2018, and I have learned so much about myself and the decisions I make, I have chosen if and what I want to change in my life. Never once did Ms. Pollock suggest or recommend that change was needed. As an intentional guru, I have learned to listen with my head and my gut!
Although he may not know it yet, Gary Wenner is another role model that I would like to include in this series. Gary may look like an ordinary man, but Gary has a heart of gold, and common sense to take himself from a depressive state to rekindling love and friendship when most would cower under.
Others that will be invited to share with me and you included: Melinda Smith, Katie O’Toole Smith, Katie Kramer, Jenny Bruce[6], Dorsena Drakeford[7], Denise Zarella[8], and another person who not only touched my life but changed it, Lorna Barrett[9]. I have a long list of individuals who will add to this series and maybe one of them includes you.
I look forward to hearing from you and have you join me as I continue
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stop_the_World_%E2%80%93_I_Want_to_Get_Off
[2] Theodor Herzl
[3] http://www.vistaspringsliving.com/vista-springs-greenbriar
[4] https://www.spreaker.com/show/the-intentionality-gurus-with-candace-po
[5] Coaching can be described as a relationship between a Life Coach and client where the coach uses specific skills to help the client achieve agreed upon results.
[7] https://www.wkyc.com/article/about-us/team-bios/dorsena-drakeford-wkyc-reporter/95-528061529
NO EXPECTATIONS December 25, 2018
As the story goes, a baby was born, the mother was Mary, and the father was Joseph. Although for some it seems, Mary was a virgin, and Joseph was not the biological father, God was. As the story continues, this baby boy was named Jesus, another word for Messiah. The Messiah is a leader of a group of people who need to be saved. History (through the Bible) creates a moving story of this baby through manhood who was a carpenter by trade as well as a first-century Jewish preacher and religious leader. However, upon his death, the Christians took them for their own.
Today, Christmas Day, Christians celebrate/commemorate the birth of Jesus by gifting to others as the Three Wise Men (Kings), presented presents to Mother Mary. Gold was provided as a symbol of kingship/leadership on earth. The incense, frankincense, symbolized deity, and myrrh an embalming oil signified death. These gifts exemplify the life that Jesus was destined for.
Today, many celebrate Christmas as a day of gifting that is more about receiving than giving. It is not that we do not have kindness in our hearts and provide for the less fortunate, but many ask the hollow question what is
in it for me?
As many will sit around their living room’s early in the morning, around a tree glowing with lights and shiny objects, they will be impatient to find out if the biggest or the smallest gift-wrapped box is for them and will it be the item from their long list of wants, not needs? In some homes, there will be looks of disappointment, in others satisfaction or ecstatic joy!
In our blended religion family, today is a day of caring and remembering each other. Often our gifts are not expensive surprises, but the acknowledgment of want and need combined. We typically spend the day alone, no big family gathering quietly in most respects. Sometimes we take in a movie, and other years we nap the day away, exhausted from work and other obligations. Our home is not a Norman Rockwell painting of what the holidays are supposed to look like, ours looks like the reality of the moment.
The reality of the moment sounds mysterious, but it is all about accepting who we are as individuals and not placing expectations in our way that may ultimately turn a Good Day into a Bad Day. I have been known to do just that over the years. I would listen to the PR hype and the comments, of co-workers, friends, and family and expect that today would be a “Hallmark Movie” day, when often it would turn out more like a “Twilight Zone” episode.
December 2016, after losing my mother two months earlier, and accepting the fact that I was no longer a child, I chose to enjoy life with all its ups and downs, and to stop assuming my day, Christmas or any other should be a certain way! Growing up we did not celebrate, being Jewish as we are, but we would enjoy the day in some small way, maybe even extending Chanukah beyond the traditional eight days and nights. Perfection is only a mindset, and sometimes I would dream about a repeat performance, and other times I could not wait for a redo. However, each day is a new day and unique from another. I am working on making each day bright and festive, not just for myself but for others, with a smile, a nod, words of acceptance, and a spirit of friendship and love that begins with self.
It is not selfish to take care of yourself when you share yourself with others, freely and willing!
May you enjoy your Christmas, December 25th, 2018 (and beyond) without expectations as you share your spirit to be felt by another.
The reality is we need a newer photo
Put on a HAPPY face
December 22, 2018, and now the days will begin to feel longer as we will experience more sunlight (daylight) now that the winter solstice has just passed. In years past I had allowed the doom of gloom of darker days change my moods without forethought of controlling the emotions that spring from the change in the seasons from warm to cool to cold which often means days were turning into nighttime when just weeks before nighttime was much later!
We still experience 24 hours in each day however our tilt in North America is farthest from the sun in the fall/winter, and for many, we experience a phenomenon that makes us think our days are shorter when it, in fact, is not, but the light of day is! The winter blues for many kicks in before the solstice and hangs on for many for another few months. There is a medical name for this called, SAD, seasonal affective disorder, often felt by the middle-agers as well as the senior population, of which I am one.
Yesterday during a podcast with Candace Pollock, The Intentionality Gurus, I expressed to her that this is the first year I have self-talked myself out of SAD. I have made an intentional choice not to hide and hunker down when the darkness invades my daytime hours. The decision to participate in life is essential for my happiness. You’ve heard the saying, “When mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” But when momma is happy she spreads sunshine:
“Gray skies are gonna clear up
Put on a happy face
Brush off the clouds and cheer up
Put on a happy face.”
Four Songwriters_My Honor!
Last night, Sunday, December 16th, 2018, I had the pleasure and honor to attend a concert at the GAR in Peninsula. To begin with, if you are not familiar with GAR Hall in Peninsula, Ohio, it is now time to draw your attention to this century plus venue. This building is now a Civil War Museum and Concert Hall. “The Peninsula Foundation supports the Arts Community by presenting Voices in the Valley, a showcase of traditional roots music.” A special thanks of appreciation must go out to Karen James Walters, Manager at the GAR, a Peninsula resident who believes in showcasing live music in a music listening room.
Last night’s performance was presented by Four Songwriters, friends for forty years. Each one is a talented genius in his own right, and they are humble to the point of disgust. I am blessed to know each one of them and to call them friends.
Alex Bevin is a musician, songwriter, poet, radio personality and happily married with a grown son. But Bevin is still a kid at heart, performing, creating, and enjoying life. A Northeast Ohio native and area resident, he fills a room with a voice that is distinct, warm and mouthwatering. As my friend Chuck Yarborough of the Cleveland Plain Dealer has written, “Cleveland’s favorite son Alex Bevan has done what I thought was impossible: He has captured the magic of a house concert in a recording. His newest album, “True Meridian,” was recorded with Bevan alone in his workroom and is, by his own admission, far from perfect.” As newclevelandradio.net begins scheduling house concerts this in 2019, we hope you will welcome Alex Bevin into your home. His imperfections are PERFECT.
Charlie Wiener, another hometown celebrity that only sees the perfection in others. A sixties style songwriter, a comedian for all ages, a published author, and he does it all with heart and soul. Charlie has a brilliant mind, if he didn’t, he could not do all he does with such excellence. When Wiener talks you want to listen, it’s like sitting outside at the old country store hearing the tales of yesterday and how they relate to today. Charlie Wiener and I grew up in the same era and yet in comparison to me, he is a walking, talking encyclopedia. Unlike me, he has the words and the charisma to turn his knowledge into words that soothe through music, illustrate in novels, and make you laugh when he does his stand-up comic shtick. Charlie is the father of two grown daughters. He speaks of his beautiful wife in glowing terms (as he should I have met her), and he is the proud caretaker of Greta his bearded collie.
Jim Ballard is a man filled with passion, and he is committed to the people he attracts in life, some of whom call him “UNCLE.” Unlike what the music industry has projected to the media, he too has been in love and married to his young sweetheart for thirty plus years. They have shared the moon from opposite sides of the globe while he served in Vietnam and after traveled to his gigs sharing his voice and talent for others to hear and appreciate. When you google Jim Ballard, it comes up with Jim Ballard, the quarterback, but you need to find: https://www.jimballardmusic.net/ . Jim has been on the music scene since the 1970s most likely influenced by his mother. The musical influence he brings to his audience are the influences of social justice and community. Listening to Jim perform is a unique experience and being part of his life is so much more! In his way, Jim is saving Akron and the world. Look up to the moon at night and connect with Mr. Ballard.
Jon Mosey, where do I begin. Jon was referred to me by another great musician, Andy Cohen. When I first googled Jon after Andy’s request that I podcast with Jon, I found bits and pieces but nothing substantial to tell me who he was. But within a few minutes of podcasting with Jon Mosey, I was mesmerized. I promised to come out and see him perform, I captured him on Facebook, just like I did with the others, but my mission was to get to meet Jon and hear him play. The photos of Jon tell one story, he is the most remarkable and talented man I have met (sorry Richard) in my life. He plays the Piedmont Blues and Ragtime, both of which I had to ask him to explain to me. Last night I heard the fingerpicking style he has acquired, and it filled my heart with sounds that I will not forget. Jon is married to his amazing wife Chris who not only supports her husband but supports so many who are just trying to live each day. She is the sunshine of life that is needed to keep the community together and caring!
Once again, I am blessed to know these individuals, to rub shoulders with them, break bread and call them my friends!
When a Book Speaks to you
THANK YOU, Charlie Wiener, for a magnificent read – https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/42684951-carrie-come-to-me-smiling
I am 2/3 through the book and although I want to get to the end of it, I don’t want it to end. Carrie is such a delight despite the fact she doesn’t know how positive and special she is. However, I want to thank this character for giving me the courage to look at the beauty in life and not let the pain from yesterday destroy my today or my tomorrow’s. We are brought to the earth for a purpose and it is up to each of us to make it the best not just for ourselves but all that we touch. Charlie, you have done that in the name of K Adrian Zonneville – I am blessed to know you!
D5 Creation