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February 3, what this date means to me.
Forty years ago on February 3, 1984, Rich and I got married by Rabbi Eisenberg (May he REST in PEACE), witnessed by friends Debbie and Dave. Although I had been living with Rich since 1982, and we talked about marriage it was extremely important for me that when he asked and I said, “YES”, it would be for life.
I came into our relationship with what is often termed as baggage. I had been divorced for almost 2 years and I had custody of my son from that marriage who was almost 5 years old. I was living in Cincinnati when we met and Rich lived in Peninsula, Ohio, a 5-hour drive that I took every couple of weeks leading up to moving in, in 1982. We made the long-distance relationship work so moving in was the next step.
We became an instant family, accepted by his parents and his friends. However, we faced numerous obstacles including the cost of transportation so my son (Steve) could visit his father. Rich was involved from the get-go, but it started to take a toll on our relationship. Soon after we settled in my ex-husband was not happy about our new living relationship and this soon turned into a custody issue dragging us all through the court system. Although the court continued to grant me custody, on February 8, 1984, we were scheduled to go to court and face the judge. My attorney at the time suggested if we wanted to retain custody, we should get married. This led to our marriage in the Rabbi’s study on February 3, 1984.
Rich and I agreed to go through the formality, however I did not want to get married until this issue was resolved. Since I did not have that choice, we agreed to silently get married, if it didn’t work, we said we would end it in the future or plan another wedding that would include family and friends. Yes, we won custody in court after spending a lot of money (well worth it for my son), we returned home and decided to plan a summer wedding and we chose the date, July 15th.
Yes, this year we will be married for forty-years twice, does that mean we have been married for 80 years????
Now let’s talk about marriage. I am grateful for my first marriage as my son Steve is a gift from that union. Although I initially blamed his father for not (never) loving me, time has healed those wounds as I realize we were young when we met and got married and we were so different from each other that those differences divided us and created what now I see as a toxic marriage. I have learned so much over the years and acknowledge the divorce was needed for us to find our personal happiness. My son’s father and his wife will also be celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary this year.
When I met my husband, Rich, I realized for me that the second time was the charm. I married my best friend, and I became his lover and go to person. It has not been easy, we have faced numerous challenges and we have tripped over the obstacles, but even when we have stumbled and fell, we got up and brushed ourselves off and kissed and made-up.
Kissing and making up doesn’t mean you have to give up your opinion and turn your differences into a mutual like, it’s ok to be different and not always OK with each other.
Rich and I made it through a custody issues, two weddings in one year, and bringing family and friends together to accept our union even when some said it would not last. (Thank you all for the challenge but somehow, we have made it.)
Rich and I struggled having a child, many rounds of IVF that we were told would be covered by my insurance only to find out that they weren’t, and we had a billed of $40,000+ to pay. Three plus years of dreaming, hoping, and praying, and a miscarriage, in December 1989 we were finally pregnant. (This pregnancy almost didn’t happen, the night before the insemination, I was molested by a doctor.) With the love and support of my husband and my OB/GYN I went through the procedure because we knew it was the right decision.
Not easy getting pregnant, and not an easy pregnancy. Sick for the first three months, and Braxton-Hicks’s contractions for the last three months, we brought Alex into the World in August 1990. And all went well for the first 30 days until our baby became violently ill and underwent abdominal surgery. When we brought him home all went well for 6 years. At six Alex was diagnosed with Autism/Aspergers and faced the challenges of what Special Needs meant.
Alex made us better and stronger as we did our best, adjusting when needed, and allowing him and us to live in a more traditional and normal state. Life is not like in the Hallmark™ movies, and Facebook has provided me with the insight that ‘perfect’ does not exist, well maybe for an hour or two when we are playing at something we like and want to do. I wouldn’t change a thing, well maybe a few tweaks here and there.
Today, I have three special men in my life, my husband Rich, my son Steve, and my son Alex. I love all three of them and I feel blessed they love and like me too. As a teenager all I wanted was that one special guy and I was living to find him. When I met Rich (at Helene and Lanny’s wedding rehearsal, I was not looking for a relationship) I was beginning to feel secure as a single woman, single mom, and being single. However, as fate may have it, once I met Rich something clicked, and that feeling is still within me. I am with my person, and despite the fact that not every moment in the day is perfect, I would be lost without this man who continues to provide me with my independence. I am blessed that he accepted my oldest son and has been a father and friend figure for him for 40+ years. Rich is a wonderful father and has been involved from the first moment we conceived. He has been by side when we experienced the loss and miscarriages. He developed a strong loving bond with my parents and brothers taking a seat at the table.
When I told my mother Rich and I were getting married she commented, “The first time you marry for love, the second time for money…” Although this was to be a long-standing joke between us, I told her this time is for a lasting friendship/love with a man called Rich.
Here is to 40 Plus!
I LOVE RICH
Join in to the listening of AVOID the MAZE –
A week ago, last night my son, Alex, called me crying in pain. Just thirty minutes earlier he and I were kibitzing on the phone. Initially he was incoherent, and I had to just listen and soothingly ask him to slow down. He described his pain that suddenly hit him as the worst GAS pain he ever had. I tried using my coaching skills to help him through this. Unfortunately, he had nothing at home to take for GAS pain!
I suggested he call EMS. I may be “doctor-mom” at home, but I’m not a doctor. He suffered for 12 hours before he called EMS. Once in the ER they aggressively attempted to identify the pain source and quickly ruled out any heart issues despite the pain across his chest. However, the ultrasound pointed to his gallbladder, and yet they continued to run tests to confirm it was gallbladder, and they finally gave him morphine to mask the pain. The surgeon came in around 6 pm (21 hours after this pain started) and discussed removing his gallbladder.
My husband and I searched for airline tickets to take us from Cleveland to Dallas so we could be there with Alex. Leaving Cleveland at 7 am we got to Dallas by 10:30 and went directly to the hospital to find Alex waiting for surgery. They finally took him into surgery at 1:30 pm, and the plan was to do a robotic gall bladder removal that would be less invasive. However, the doctor found his gallbladder to be 2 to 3 times its size filled with stones, the gallbladder was ripe to burst and if it had it could have been fatal! So, a one-hour procedure turned into 3 hours.
Alex’s dad left for home on Tuesday morning, and I am here in Fort Worth until Sunday morning. Each day he shows signs of healing and taking less pain medication as well.
I’ve had this great opportunity to spend time with my son in his home which has limited furnishings which has tested my ability to get comfortable on an air bed and sitting on a patio type chair. But all is good, and I enjoy his company when he is not sleeping, tweeting, or playing a video game.
Today we took a UBER to his office so he could organize his arrangements to work from home for at least the next week. At his office today not one person, but everyone I met shared their love for Alex. Until today, the staff only knew he was sick but would be OK, his boss and HR knew the extent of it. So, as he shared his story of what has transpired in the last week, they were all so glad to know he really would be OK, and pleased to see that I was around to help him through this week.
When Alex left our home in December to drive the 1000 miles to Texas I cried like a baby, and thought my heart was broken forever. However, as any parent knows when your child leaves to follow their dreams, time will prove that your heart will heal. My heart began the healing process with each phone call hearing his voice and sharing his experiences.
However, the night of Wednesday, April 5th brought me the emotional pain Alex was suffering physically. Although I insisted, he call EMS he was choosing to suffer rather than go to the hospital and as he said, spend money… All I could 1000 miles away was attempt to comfort him as he asked me to stay on the phone with him, hoping the pain would subside. Tonight, I feel such relief that my son is healing and prospering. He is where he should be, creating his career path and living life on his own. Now I realize his father and I taught him well, and I am proud of the man he is, even without a gallbladder!
Is it time to Make a Change? If so let me assist you in finding a COACH that will assist you! Take a few moments or more to listen to “AVOID the MAZE” https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSdL23sBfgglvxEjZXu-qhyXPYzGo0Exw as well as to “The Intentionality Gurus” https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSdL23sBfggmjrQLY_iaPtsrK-ls19Bh6. The more I work with coaches and the more I learn has exponentially increased my happiness and zest for living my best life.
Women can be beautiful and amazing – it is time WOMEN like YOU & I 2 Believe in OURSELVES – JOIN me!
Become part of the newclevelandradio.net family
Have you ever thought about being a podcast influencer? We all have a passion for something and my passion has always been about helping others. For most of my life, I put the needs of others first, thinking if I helped them, it would make me happy, and in return, I would not have someone who may be able to assist me in the future if I was in need. However, life is not always as simplistic as that.
When I was a senior admissions rep at a college, the average student told me that they wanted to be a nurse because they wanted to help others. Many of these students were not prepared for the educational requirements to earn their degree and often felt defeated if they were not accepted into the program or did not maintain the grade to graduate. I remember telling them that you don’t have to be a nurse or a doctor to help people. In fact, there is a huge world of opportunities where we can help each other as well as ourselves.
As a rep, I was helping each of my students develop a path that was right for them. It was my job to guide them and if nursing wasn’t the answer to follow the fork in the road and see what else may be hidden out of view.
As a podcaster, I am guiding individuals as we expand our presence and offer virtually unlimited opportunities. Each one of us has made mistakes along the way and often sharing those errors opens our eyes, ears, and hearts to positive change. Positive change is our theme and it cannot come about with sharing the missteps that have brought us here to contribute.
If you would like to join our network please email Karen at firstname.lastname@example.org
This past week has been less than enjoyable however I sought to find Happiness and Joy in my podcast recordings and take some ME-TIME in bits and pieces. Although I may dream of exotic vacations, or a day of self-pampering when I take mini breaks I am happier and it refreshes my thinking.
This week I have been experimenting with social media and groups that have formed to help individuals like myself (newclevelandradio.net), expand our network, our reach, and deliver a better product whether it be my website designing business or my love of communication through blogs and podcasting. However, as I dove in headfirst I became overwhelmed and it is not taking a toll on me. However, it is Saturday and I am switching hats to work my training and sales support part-time gig. Due to the holiday weekend as well as Rosh Hashannah beginning at sunset Monday, I will not be back at the podcast wheel except for one recording on Monday afternoon.
I need this time to regroup, reflect (as we do during the High Holy Days), and find my inner peace. As I am writing this I am experiencing ANXIETY that often proceeds my depression, but I am present and I am prepared to face it head-on and move on. A very special thanks to many of my friends and extended family friends who under that there is nothing to be ashamed about when we are vulnerable if we prepare for it and don’t let it pull us down into the RABBIT HOLE!
I may wake up feeling BLAH – and I may not understand why – BUT even the BLAHS are an opportunity for me to make my FUTURE the best – starting now!
Please take a moment and check out https://darcyluoma.com/
Darcy was a guest on Matt Jackson’s Podcast BE BOLD/ BE HEARD https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZogUanjoMs&t=384s
Her words, her story, her journey is worth a listen..
10 May 2021
MAY THERE BE NO EXCUSES!
Ok Ladies and Gentlemen it is time to share your story, your journey, or your mission in life. We are not promised tomorrow, but we have today, we are in the present, and on behalf of newclevelandradio.net, I want to invite you to become part of our podcasting family.
Have you thought about starting a podcast but didn’t know where to begin? Are you motivated enough to invest in the right equipment, software programs, and editing tools to make your podcast stand out? Sure you can podcast on your Smart Phone and you may have a zillion and one friends but will you reach all of them when you post your link?
I have been podcasting now for over 5 years and recording for another 5 years before that and I am still learning the tricks of the trade. I have taken over newclevelandradio.net from my son Alex and I have grown the podcasts and listeners exponentially. When you team with other podcasters you are privy to their friends and contacts and they are privy to yours and together we can be successful.
Our mission is to produce only positive messaging shows. The majority of us are not experts in our field but we know enough about life experiences to share them and learn from them. If we touch just one listener we have created a decisive moment for them. Wouldn’t you like to help someone just by sharing what makes YOU FEEL GOOD?
We are not here to sell products but to share products, ideas, concerns, strategies, and a lot of smiles and laughter along the way. So it’s your turn and you are welcome to be part of something bigger than any one of us alone… TRY IT, YOU MIGHT LIKE IT! (Mikey tried and he liked it – the 70’s Life Cereal Kid!)
Email karen at email@example.com