WORD of the DAY 2023

Word of the Day was influenced by Gary Moss – https://just4thespellofit.com/word-of-the-day/

The word of the day is NICE – sometimes it’s just NICE to do ordinary things on your day off. Ordinary may include a doctor’s visit, running errands, and just hanging with your spouse. Last April my husband began working full-time at a job he enjoys (because the people he works with are NICE). He has an hour drive to and from work which means Monday -Friday of most weeks we barely have time together. On the weekends he is exhausted making, sleep, lounging, and minimal activity his ‘wanted’ norm. However, today he chose to be a more active version of his weekend self which made for a NICE day.

Too often we think having something special to do is what makes us happy. I learned many years ago if we wait for something special, that day may never come unless we create it.

I often see on Facebook, individuals, like me, posting about the spectacular day they are experiencing on vacation, or the entertainment with family, and how NICE things are in their circle. I enjoy seeing how other people enjoy their day and I welcome days like my husband, and I have had today. What also makes today so NICE is that I am currently spending some me time, feeling what makes me Happy and Glad that at one time made me SAD. Yes, there once was a time I thought NICE meant so much more. The ordinary made me sad, I allowed it to make me feel different and unacceptable, but I now know that was my brain that has been wired want my life to be a Hallmark™ movie. What I know now and understand is I enjoy watching Hallmark™ movies but I now see the flaws in what is supposed to look PERFECT & NICE. That’s entertainment, and what I do from day to day is real life.

Today has been NICE because I chose it be…

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

Yesican.ncr@gmail.com

440 526 1530

The word of the day is two words, Car Dealers! I hate the process of buying or leasing a new car. No matter what the deal is that they advertising there are hidden costs that bring the price up by 100s of dollars. Let me share a scenario; my youngest sone needs a new car. He has been driving and caring for his Mazda 2 since 2011, the car will be celebrating its 13^th birthday this year. The car has not been costly to repair over the years, but it has come to that point in its life that replacing it is a better financial step for him than keeping it.

Initially he had hoped the KIA Niro would be in his price range because the many Ads he saw on this model made it appear to be in his price range. However, when he walks into a KIA Dealer, they begin the pricing at almost twice his budget. Surprisingly after hours of really not listening but wanting a sale they tend to creep closer and closer to his budget. He (my son) tries to concede and recommends another choice that should be in the right price category and they flim / flam him and come up with the same pricing as his initial choice. When he states $300 a month is my top budget what does it take to get to that number, they tend to then tell him there are no cars in today’s market for that price point. Yet, on the KIA website it shows cars (some are his alternative choice) that are at that range and yet they tell him those prices do not include tax, dealer setup, etc.!

When you go to the grocery store or department store if the website or store circular says X = $ you know the price and either you buy it or you don’t. It is very rare that any other purchase is like getting a new car. Buying or leasing a car is an all-day JOB for the customer, you, and me. Too often the salesperson sits there and tells you about their financial woes and that they are willing to help you make this deal. (They have a goal to maintain or overachieve at.) The customer should not feel obligated to pay more because you may lose your job. The customer may lose their job if they overextend themselves to make a payment on a deal to please the car salesperson. I have been on the sales side of business myself and never have I pressured anyone to purchase something that they felt uncomfortable paying for.

The first car I ever bought on my own was a Chevy Chevette. I knew how much I could afford and I went into the dealership alone without any assistance and guess what I walked out with my car at the price I wanted to pay but didn’t realize that they moved into the cheapest model which was a Chevy Chevette Scooter – looking back I realized I tipped my hat in the beginning told them my maximum payment and I got it for just that. For the first year the car was great, by year two the computer driven engine kept failing. By the end of year two my soon to be Father-in-law who was a leasing agent, got me out of that car into something more appropriate that lasted me 4 years and I was able to turn it in and move into another new model. My father-in-law taught me how to approach a new car sale or lease and what I have learned is that you sometimes have to walk away and wait it out or find another dealer who is more legitimate.

The Ads we see on TV and many on the internet do not fully disclose the information a buyer needs when they go to replace or add a new car to their garage. For instance, there is one dealer that is advertising the KIA Soul for $111 per month but does not indicate that you need to put down $3500 in order to get that payment when I Just worked it out with taxes etc., the Soul comes in around $300. How can anyone afford a car today?

We bought a new car this past fall because my husband drives 100 + miles round trip to work and his car had over 100,000 miles on it. We got almost the full value of his payment when we traded the car in – but the new car payment came in $100+ dollars more than the previous car. Paying almost $600 a month for a car is outrageous and the Ad for this car that took us into the dealership showed a payment of $400 (the additional fees were explained to us at signing!) Why are cars sold in this manner and when are we going to get smart enough to know the CEOs of the Car Companies and their buddies are making huge bucks off of the everyday person like you and me. There is no reason for the huge mark up and added fees that sometimes makes buying a new car painful as we (the consumers) are getting squeezed for every penny!

I will be holding on to my 2014 Red VW Beetle for years – I never want to have to purchase another car in my life time!

Word of the day is Guest -Although you may not want to feel like a guest while visiting your parents or your children for the holiday season, keep in mind you are. As a mom, I know my boys do not maintain their home, condo, or apartment in the same way I keep my house. It is not for me to come in and disrupt their home and try to change things up.

This week I flew to Texas to assist my son in a move from one apartment to another. He invited me to come down and help him get organized and that is what I have done. He will have to make some final decisions but for now most of the boxes are unpacked or stored in his huge walk-in closet or his outdoor storage closet. While visiting we went grocery shopping, and I allowed him to lead the way on the products he prefers. (I say allowed since I was paying!)

It’s not always easy to be a guest, especially when your host has a different lifestyle from you. I have had to remind myself of that. However, I am finding it funny how accommodating I am and yet when my son came home for a visit a few months back I was accommodating him as my guest. It’s the little things that become annoying and after the fact you can laugh about it. However, at the moment I want to put on my “MOTHER” mask and reprimand him for messing up what he just asked me to organize.

Now, some of you may be guests when you read this, and others may be hosting their parents, children, cousins, or best friend from school. Keep in mind that the difficulty you will both face is one of you may be going against the traffic and you may need to turn around and go with the flow!

Be mindful of what your role is. If you offer to assist and your offer is refused it may be because your host needs to be in control. Do not take this personally, remember you are a guest in their home. However, the host, your parent or child, may ask for your help and provide you with instructions to complete it their way. Again, remember you are a guest. Be careful of offering suggestions, one too many may be the straw that breaks the Camel’s back

When you arrived or you greeted your guests everything was perfect with smiles and hugs and lots of happy chatter. However, within a few minutes, hours, or days that warm loving feeling may feel lame. The reason is the longer we are guests (especially family) we may tend to annoy each other. “No guest is so welcome in a friend’s house that he will not become a nuisance after three days.” Plautus ( I now understand why my parents always took a hotel room when they came to visit.)

As a guest or a host, we sincerely appreciate the invitation to visit because your invite allows us to fill a void for us both. Understanding that visiting may be a challenge, be mindful of the your role and the rule changes that may creep into your Happy Holiday.

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

Yesican.ncr@gmail.com

440 526 1530

The word of the day is Choices – plural! We all have choices even if we have limited control. We can choose to observe the laws and the acceptance/approval of others, or we can choose not to! With our choices come consequences and sometimes they are in a favor or not!

While visiting my youngest son this week I have made some choices that may not be 100% favorable to me, but I am mindful that I am visiting him, in his home where he has responsibilities of work as well as his personal needs. It can be difficult as a parent to be a guest in your child’s home despite the way you may have thought you taught them. (I am sure my mother may have had some of these thoughts when she was a guest in my home.)

I really like being home, not sitting in my house 24/7 or working 24/7 although sometimes that is my choice whether it be podcasting, coaching, preparing social media, or doing chores around my home. I prefer entertaining then being a guest, it is my need to have things my way, whether it the food prepared or brought in, the orderliness, or just having that CHOICE to have control.

I now understand why my parents, when they traveled to visit me or my brothers they stayed in a hotel. That bit of separation allowed them to make their personal choices that did not infringe on their children. Also, their children would still have their personal space. However, the choices I am making this week include sharing my son’s space with him while helping him get settled and organized in his new apartment. I cannot complain and will not complain because I am doing what I feel is needed at this time not just for him but for me too. I am choosing that at times I have and may continue to feel uncomfortable but for now that is OK!

We often make choices out of love or responsibility and as a parent sometimes those two reasons overlap. As a mother I feel responsible to help in ways that I can, sometimes it is financial, but mostly it is with assistance and knowledge, because some day I may not be here to help my child.

My child is a young adult, but both my boys will always be mt children and when I can, I will offer my support in the manner in which I choose.

To have a choice means I can select to do something or not.

To have a choice means I have an option(s).

When I have a choice, I am empowered and sometimes the decisions we make may be faulty but if we learn from them, they will become the building blocks of success and happiness.

The word of the day is Mother – Now, don’t get snarky on me. I know not all mothers are created equal as they are individuals before they raise their child(ren). My role as a mother has been very unique, at least in my eyes. I have two wonderful grown sons. I am not the mother who stands by and takes credit for their achievements. I know both of my boys have struggled and worked hard to gain the success they both have obtained. I am blessed that despite their age differences and being ½ siblings, as they have grownup, they have developed a mutual respectful and loving relationship.

I did not mother them/raise them in the same manner and yet I have a wonderful relationship with my two boys. I truly love and respect them even when we disagree.

This week I am in Texas helping my youngest son settle into his new apartment. A year ago, when he moved to Texas he was on his own and he said right from day one it did not feel like home. When he chose to move to a smaller more convenient location to work, he asked me if I would come down and help him get organized, now what this means is mom, come and clean up and sort through my stuff and show me where it all goes. (It also means once I am done, he will move things where he wants them!)

So, on day 1 I reduced the pile of boxes down to three and just learned he has a trunk full of items that need to be brought into the apartment, LOL. But all sarcasm aside, and not trying to be a ‘mother’, I am going with the flow. I look at this as creating memories and leaving him one more picture to reflect on in the future. I will be setting things up the way I would like them and hope he will too. The forty-year age difference will obviously be noticeable in my choices over his, but it is a fun experience, and one I did not have the opportunity to share with my oldest.

I think this is the best gift I can give my son – in addition to the extras I purchased to make this apartment look more like home for him. When I go home next week, I will know that there is a touch of mother love in this apartment and it will feel like home, his home.

The word of the day is Overwhelmed – I don’t know about you but packing for a trip overwhelms me. I am getting ready to go to Arlington, Texas for a little over a week and I have no idea what to take and I am packing for both my husband and myself and one minute it looks like too much, the next, not enough. I have been thinking about this trio for months and planning in my head as I am going down to help my son settle into his new apartment and my husband will come down and join us for the Christmas weekend. I know most of my week will be spent organizing his chaos and shopping for organizing tools. The main thing I must focus on is this is his home for at least a year (length of the lease). As long as this apartment is better than his first, he will settle in and be happy,

Less expensive, closer to work, less spending on gas, and he can sleep almost 30 minutes more each morning and he can be home before the sun goes down at night. However, the first two weeks of his move included no hot water as they had a major gas leak, and finally fixed it this past Friday.

Overwhelmed because after this visit it will be 7 -9 months before he comes home, or I can go back down there. Truthfully, I don’t want to be in Texas in the summer. I now understand how my mother felt when I would come to visit and when I left due to work and personal responsibilities, our time between visits was lengthy. Phone calls keep us in touch but once in awhile you just want to give your kid a hug, and both of my kids live out of state and a fair distance away.

However, despite the feeling of being overwhelmed and trying to organize myself I feel happy and blessed. Like many of my clients I have learned how to compartmentalize my feelings and become mindful of how I react to them, whether it be my OCD setting in or allowing my senses to trigger a migraine. Right now, I am doing my best using my tools to breathe and identify what I must do, want to do, and don’t have to do.

Journaling and blogging help me get centered so I may nurture myself with some self-care…it’s like an AHA Moment!

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

Yesican.ncr@gmail.com

4405261530

The word of the day is Magnificent – I am not sure if the support and love for Chanukah 2023 is due to the HAMAS War in Israel, the loss of innocent lives on both sides of the conflict; continued aggression against Ukraine, or the highlights of the war amongst each other that has been lighting the night skies with hope. The last eight days and nights have glowed with the magnificence of light from the burning candles displayed in menorahs as well as the light shining through so many wonderful messages on social media. We cannot let the light diminish our need for peace and love and eliminating hate.

Have you noticed that the words hate, and love are thrown around like rubber balls? Even as a young child I remember using the hate word when I didn’t like fish, or the dress I had to wear to school, or the interaction with another person. Even today when the majority of us use the word we do not mean to spew evil and contempt against anyone or anything, it just seems to be part of our language(s) like the word F U C K!

As a communication major, I learned that words are powerful and how we use them can ignite them creating an explosion that may destroy the very thing(s) we want. Look at the Middle East, our urban communities, and the destruction that has been and continues to be committed. The need to be #1 has created a world that we build up and destroy in the name of what?????

I remember feeling angry (maybe hate) as a child when friends would leave me out, just like Rudolph, I often was not part of the games other children played. However, I learned to resolve these feelings, I did not turn them into destructive acts against my friends. Yes, I may have thrown some things around my room to get my anger out, but the end result was I had to put it all back together again! However, on a much larger scale through human destruction and mother nature’s rath it is time to STOP HATE and view the magnificence of the light.

We each have the ability to bring light, love, happiness, and peace into the world. Do not wait for someone else to begin the journey for you, you must take the step forward and keep on going. Allow others to join you as you walk the path that will benefit all of us. Let your lighted candles continue to burn and light a new one each day because light is Magnificent!

Chanukah and Christmas are not about the gifts, the wrapped boxes with things inside, that may be an extra. What these two holidays have in common is the MIRACLE of light, the oil burning brightly like the North Star.

Continue to burn brightly!

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

Yesican.ncr@gmail.com

440-526-1530

Word of the Day is Preparing – Too often we put the important things off. We forget to say I’m sorry, I love you, I forgive you, or just asking someone how they are at the moment. Don’t go beyond the moment, be mindful and use what you have just learned to take into the future as you walk the path of life.

We often desire control, and yet when we have the control to maintain our thoughts and focus on positivity, we allow the outside forces to trip us up along the way. Learning to place our hand up in the form of STOP is something we tend to forget as we get tangled in a spider web of emotions. However, we can learn to control our mindset and become mindful of our inner feelings to what may be happening on the outside. The outside will always try to creep in and disrupt our thinking too often causing negative effects.

I have been preparing for every holiday (or significant) occasion. Like many of us we play out in our head how things will evolve, however, if we are honest, it is never the way our thoughts took us. Sometimes it is much better, other times it is not! There is a saying: “Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.” The problem I have with that phrase is that preparing for the worst brings out the negativity that may cause us to stumble and fall, turning the best into the worst. So, what is the answer?

As a coach we talk about creating our too box that will assist us in these incidents. One tool is creating a positive space/word/image that will assist you when things are not as expected. Accepting that life is not perfect and that errors have a huge value often helps me look forward on my path and know when to take a detour. Detours are not a mistake they help resolve the errors we have made along the way. Preparing ourselves to be mindful is a strength that provides us joy and happiness.

Take a moment and prepare for something you need or want to do.
Give yourself permission to make mistakes along the way or allow outside forces to create mishaps.
Be mindful of what is happening both inside and outside of your mind and body.
Allow any discomfort you may feel physically or emotionally to find resolution. Resolution sometimes causes additional pain until it is allowed to escape.
Practice mindfulness – become aware of your feelings
Provide yourself with love and acceptance…this will prepare you for wellness.

“By failing to prepare, you prepare to fail.” Benjamin Franklin

The Word of the Day is Worry – My father used to recite a quote to us (my brothers and I) when we would focus on something that caused us to worry. I have searched for the quote and could not find it, it went something like; “Why worry – There are only two things to worry about – either you are healthy or you are sick – if you are sick either you will get well or die – if you die either you will got to heaven or to hell – and if you go to hell you will be busy shaking hands with all your old friends – Why Worry!” In essence my dad was telling us to work through our situation and to stop worrying because when you worry you have no time for anything else.

This time of year, we tend to do a lot of worrying. If we are gifts givers we worry, if we will have enough money to buy and or make the presents, we want to share with others, or will this affect us financially causes other problems that we can worry about.

We worry about preparing for those we have invited to share the season with. Will family and friends like what we offer, or will we be adjusting to satisfy others for their enjoyment (what about ours?)

My parents labeled me a ‘worrywart’ as a child and teen. Not only did I obsess over things, often they were challenges that weren’t mind. I never wanted nor do I want today to see anyone overwhelmed with thoughts that create both a physical and emotional breakdown. Here is an example; when I was 9 or 10 years old my mother took me to Hudson’s Department Store to buy me a new dress for my birthday. Typically, my mother took me shopping to look for styles then she would recreate them for me sitting up late nights sewing a new outfit. But this time it was different, and I remember it was a cold night in late February or early March when we went out on a mission. Not only did my mother find one dress but she bought me three. (Those were the days when we had to wear dresses or skirts and tops to school, no pants allowed.)

I remember coming home with my new items brimming from ear to ear, I couldn’t wait to show them to my dad. What I remember after that is dad being a bit angry with my mom for buying me the dresses since I had a closet full already. I really don’t remember if they had a ‘real’ argument or a difference in opinion, but what I do remember was the thought my parents were going to divorce over this situation. I remember offering to take the dresses back, but my mom and dad reassured me I could keep them. But to this day I still worry over the reaction my father had on that day (regarding the dresses) and my mother defending herself on the purchases. Like I said, it was rare for my wardrobe to be purchased at a store, my mom was the creative designer that kept my closet full. I can still picture the dresses; one was an orange/coral color with embroidery on the bodice. The second one was like a gold color jumper with an organza sheer blouse with puffy sleeves. The third one was blue, I think velvet, but I am not sure. I don’t remember any further discussion over those dresses ever again, but my brain still conjures up these memories.

My parents were right for most of my life, I worried about something(s) and often the issues were out of my control. It has not been until recently that I have become mindful of this trait, and I have been working diligently to not like it consume me as it has in the past. However, when your friends and loved ones are dealing with something that causes them anguish, I tend to do more than empathize and I know worrying does not resolve anything. Coaching my clients, I have found this is a reoccurring them for many of us and learning how to detach is one key to healthier living.

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

yesican.ncr@gmail.com

Or 440 526 1530

Word of the day is WAIT – so your day started out OK then something happened that upset you. You become so upset you are fighting tears and all you want to do is yell and scream at the person who has upset. But you get interrupted holding back the rage that is boiling to the top of your head, ready to blow off, and you do your best to act as normally as possible. After the interruption you choose to face this situation, not in anger and withholding the feelings of rage turning them into identifying what this took you to the edge of your emotions and back! Yes back, realizing that anger or extreme rage would not resolve this. Too often it is our reaction to something that hurts us so deeply it’s the idea of getting even which often makes resolution harder.

Truthfully, I am feeling very proud of myself. I used my toolbox to work through an issue that could have escalated beyond what it was or could have been. Instead of taking out the hammer to pound it into the ground, or a chainsaw to cut it up into a million little pieces, I took a step back and analyzed how I could fix this. In the past my toolbox had a lot of negative instruments but today I work towards positive incomes. It’s not always easy, but the solutions for me are healthier and happier.

The word WAIT came to be when I was hit with this incident this afternoon. I knew even without the interruption I needed to step back and wait out the feelings of a volcanic eruption, knowing that the overflow would be destructive and not the results I wanted. Only I could stop the eruption and I did.

I will not downplay the incident that upset me, in fact I will be more cautious moving forward, I have seen that my new tools work for me and in the end that is what is important. My personality (the judge inside of me) often tells me to react, however that part of my personality has caused me problems in the past. Waiting allowed me to process the incident and think it through, my first reaction is stop and think. It’s strange how much better I feel when I wait! It’s taken me the majority of my life’s journey to do what I know is best and the pain and hurt I felt earlier has lessened and I’m OK.

It makes no difference what the issue is that stirs up anger that builds into rage waiting to explode…I know for me that the feeling I have now, hours after this incident, are calm and I have a different perspective on what is and what will be. But I am confident that my toolbox has the solutions that are right for me.

Wait – to pause
Wait – to be ready
Wait – to be patient
Wait – to stop
Wait – DO NOT REACT YET

I encourage you to find your tools to WAIT – you may need to wait during the holiday season.

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

Yesican.ncr@gmail.com

440-526-1530

The word of the day is ACCEPTANCE – Now this doesn’t me we have to approve or believe someone is right or wrong. For me ACCEPTANCE means that we may have different opinions, wants, and needs, and it is OK to agree to disagree, a phrase used often but not adhered to. Somewhere in our human psyche we have this tendency to want others to think the same way we do and react in the same manner. We may have similarities but that does not mean we are clones of each other, we are independent human beings who make choses that fulfill our needs. If we don’t too often this leads to bitterness towards those, we are agreeing with just to avoid conflict. However, the conflict brews within and until we resolve our personal issues, we are a powder keg awaiting to explode.

When I was getting married (the first time) my paternal grandmother’s advice to me was to create a happy marriage and lifelong commitment we never should go to sleep angry with each other. She told me it was not about resolving but for the wife (me) to put all hurt feelings away and provide my husband with love and kindness. For the seven years we were married I practiced this method of loving longevity until I exploded and put all my hurt out on the table, the result was divorce. Today as I look back at my journey, I understand my relationship with my first husband was something I needed to experience, and my reward is the son we share. When I say I needed to experience it, it is because it taught me a lesson about myself and what love is! Today I look back at my seven-year marriage and I am happy to say I have released any anger I ever had for my husband and myself. Today we are both happily married to our spouses and in 2024 both of us will be sharing our 40^th Wedding Anniversaries. The pain and anger I felt 40+ years ago is just part of my journey that has made me believe in myself – ACCEPTANCE.

My husband and I have been married almost 40 years, and the year we got married we had two ceremonies. One privately in the Rabbi’s Study, and five months later we renewed our vows in front of friends and family celebrating life. Right from the beginning of meeting Rich (my husband) we encountered numerous obstacles that challenged us. We have learned from them and have accepted that life is not a Hallmark™ movie, and happily ever after includes, disagreements, as well as some hurt feelings. The challenges have made us stronger, although there are times, I wish we could have a few less.

Rich and I are in an interfaith marriage. That probably was the biggest hurdles we had to overcome; he thought his father would have a problem with me being Jewish when instead he embraced me for loving his son. Initially my mother disapproved and threatened to sit SHIVA – stating her only daughter was dead. But that did not last long and soon she was accepting and treating my husband as one of her sons. These two individuals truly showed us the meaning of ACCEPTANCE and went beyond it nurturing us with love.

Sometimes we produce our own challenges, and we create mountains out of mole hills. (“Making a mountain out of a molehill is an idiom referring to over-reactive, histrionic behavior where a person makes too much of a minor issue. It seems to have come into existence in the 16th century.”) Over the past couple of years, I have been working at creating a toolbox (which includes blogging) to help me turn obstacles into resolutions that will help me through this journey of life.

As a coach I share with my clients the necessity of finding your way down the path you choose to travel and to remember there are forks in the road that you can take as well as learning how to climb over the stumps that might make you fall. If you fall, stand up and brush yourself off and keep going.

Growing up my family would sit around our black and white TV and watch Ralph Edwards Host on, “This Is Your Life™”. This was an American reality documentary series broadcast on NBC radio from 1948 to 1952, and on NBC television from 1952 to 1961. Typically, his guests were from the movie and entertainment fields, and Ralph would present tidbits of their life and the friends and family of the individual would surprise them by coming on stage and participating. Of course, we only heard about the GOOD things that happened in this person’s life, but it provided us all with a road map often comparing our accomplishments with shows guest.

For my mother’s 80 birthday I put together a birthday party inviting her friends and relatives and I hosted a what is your life segment at this party. Again, we shared stories about my mom, and she shared stories about herself. We can each take a look back at where we have come from and where we want to go next…Learn from our past and accept what we have done as opportunities for our best tomorrows.

If I can accept myself, why not accept others as well?

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

Yesican.ncr@gmail.com

440-526-1530

The word for the day is Resilience – Until I reached my mid to late fifties, I did not understand how this word applies to me, but hindsight has proved me with a window to see that I am RELIENT. “Resilience is the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands.” We all have the capacity to overcome adversity, but we must travel the path to get there.

When working with a Coach, Therapist, or Psychiatrist, the key to getting the results you want is based on wanting it more than anyone else.

I have been talking to a friend, on and off, over the past couple of years. I see potential in this individual, but she only sees the negativity. She refuses to look beyond her previous mistakes and learn from them and create new opportunities. She has people around her pushing and prodding her to see the opportunity for her to love herself and care for herself as she continues her journey down a new path. The path she is on continues to take her in a direction that is harmful as she spews self-hate.

Most of us want change in our lives but too often we get stuck following the same road that is full of potholes causing us to fall and stumble. We keep waiting for someone to rescue us, but no one can, we are the only ones who can resolve our problems and that is what Resilience is all about.

I have fallen, I experienced divorce.
I have fallen, I experienced loss of custody.
I have fallen, I have been rejected by jobs/careers I strived for.
I have fallen, I have experienced miscarriage.
I have fallen, I have been through bankruptcy.
I have fallen, I experienced broken bones.
I have fallen, I have lost friends due to a difference of opinions.
I have Resilience – I got through my divorce, met new friends, and recreated my journey.
I have Resilience – I restored my relationship with my child and stopped feeling the anger and hate from divorce.
I have Resilience – I improved my education and gained career positions as well as creating my personal business plan.
I have Resilience – From miscarriage to loving the sons I have and cherish.
I have Resilience – With the support of my husband we climbed our way out of bankruptcy and although we will never be wealthy, we are rich in love and friendship.
I have Resilience – Falling and stumbling has proved me with strength and my bones have mended and I feel stronger.
I have Resilience – Although I may be open minded, not everyone is and others choose to reject me for not following in their footsteps I will not feel rejected!

Resilience is our personal willpower to try a different path, taking the fork in the road and experiencing life at its fullest! If we want to be resilient, we can be. For some it’s making a vision board and taking one step at a time. Resilience is not always successful with that first step; we have to be willing to make mistakes and learn from them. We make mistakes for a reason and until we accept that to succeed it takes learning, we will never move forward.

If I can do it, why can’t you? Being resilience does not cost you a penny, what it costs is your time and energy to be the best version of yourself.

If you are ready #YESICAN coaching with Karen

Yesican.ncr@gmail.com

440 526 1530

Word for the Day – Self Criticism – I know I am not the only one that has, and still does, but not as often, put myself down. I don’t even have to look in the mirror and I can create a list of the things that are wrong with me. However, I know that is not who I want to be, and I have been working on being nice to myself.

Yesterday I reached out to an acquaintance and made an offer to assist them in their self-criticism/narcistic feelings that they have shared very openly with me. I do understand where these feelings and self-degrading emotions are coming from, but I also know if said person were to allow themself to move forward, they could teach themselves how to dismiss the awful feelings they are experiencing.

In less than 24 hours this individual and I had been texting and this morning I could not cope. Sadly, this person does not believe they are capable of change. “Typically, people who score highly on self-criticism experience hurtful, self-defeating thoughts when confronted with a personal weakness.” (https://PositivePsychologyProgram.com) However, when we want to make a change in our thoughts we can, but we must commit.

The difference between this individual and myself, despite my self-criticism, I made the choice to stop sabotaging myself and living a miserable life.

I have been working on my image for over 60 years and I am 73 (at this writing). I am also happier at this age than any other even when wonderful things were happening to me. When I took The Positive Intelligence Coaching Program, it was my facilitator, as well as the others in our pod that led me to look even deeper inside and expel my inner judgement. I now realize my inner judgement does not have to make me feel bad, instead I can learn from the messages that once caused me self-hate and hush them. I have control because I choose to like/love myself.

If we take our mistakes (big and small) and learn from them and not repeat them, we can stop the self-criticism that only produces negativity.

The inner voice:

Blames you whenever something goes wrong – even when you were not involved.
Calls you names that you would not wish others to call you -ugly, fat, stupid, or worse.
Compares you to others even if you don’t want to be like them or look like them…
Reaches for perfection knowing nothing is perfect but still expecting it of you.
Only sees your weaknesses, never identifies your strengths and or accomplishments.
Allows you to exaggerate your weaknesses and issues that you have self-created.

When you zone into your weaknesses you tend to make mistakes which cause you to identify failure nor a challenging opportunity which it is.
Weaknesses lead to anxiety and stress as well as isolation. Fear of others seeing you as you see yourself. When you share with others / ask for help mole hills will not develop into mountains.
Self-care is ignored, feelings that overwhelm you and may stop you from taking care of your personal hygiene. Ignoring your basic needs not only is affecting you emotionally but your physical appearance and health may be in danger.
Your thoughts continue to escalate, and you may find yourself in a continuous loop of self-defeat. If you yield and stop before you accelerate you may avoid the dangerous curve…

Think about the above points. Are you ready to say, #YESICAN?

#Stoptheselfcriticism

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

Yesican.ncr@gmail.com

440-526-1530

The Word of the Day is – Imperfect/Perfect that is the true meaning of our journeys through life. From the moment of conception until our death we will evolve through a cycle of ups and downs, as well as in-betweens. When I got pregnant with my youngest it was through insemination. After years of infertility and miscarriage the choice to have a child challenged my husband and I but we forged on, and the night before our insemination I was molested by a doctor. (I almost cancelled). However, the love of my husband and the trust I had in my medical team got me through the procedure. (I was molested, not rapped!)

I remember as I laid on the exam table and the doctor inserted my husband’s semen into me, I felt excited with anticipation while thinking about the disgusting act that happened the previous day. I tried to forget, as difficult as it was, I challenged myself to believe this time the little ‘buggers’ would swim towards my eggs and in nine months we would be parents.

Truth be told we were already parents, my first born had not only his biological father, but a true and loving stepfather relationship with Rich. However, we had the want and need for a child to complete our little family.

I remember this quite clearly as this procedure took place almost 34 years ago to today’s date.

From the beginning life felt imperfect and yet the procedure went perfectly. Two weeks later I tested positive for pregnancy, and we shared the news with my oldest son, Steve on Christmas Eve of 1989. Steve already had two siblings on his dad’s side, and now he was genuinely happy for us as well.

Our pregnancy was not perfect and within 6 weeks I found myself in the hospital with cramping and excruciating pain. Rich and I both feared we were losing our baby but within days I recovered, and life went forward fairly smoothly. However, due to infertility issues and my illness, and my age (40), I had an amniocentesis to determine any genetic abnormalities. When the results were shared with us, we were told our baby was genetically fine and growth status was normal.

Alex, our baby, was born with minimal complications and we began our ‘new normal’. Six weeks later we faced an emergency with our perfect baby boy as he was suffering from pylorus stenosis. After two days of diagnostic tests Alex underwent successful surgery. Those ten months from pre-conception to caring for a newborn were both imperfect as well as perfect. Everyday since has followed that pattern.

As I look back at this period in my life I felt as if there was maybe a dark cloud hanging over my head and I waited for the cloud to open up and create a storm that would take me down. However, it didn’t happen, and I know it will not! I know this because I believe that in order for us to strive for PERFECTION, we must experience the imperfections of life. These experiences help us face adversity and turn them into positive challenges with positive outcomes.

It took me many years to understand this theory on imperfections/perfections. Some people like to quote, “God will not give you more than you can handle”. However, this message can be of comfort or lead you to ask… “Why me?” or “God I’m ok, I don’t need anymore!” What I just learned about this quote is the following: “No temptation has overtaken you, except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” – 1 Corinthians 10:13 NIV

Life is not seamless; it is the imperfections that allow us to create a more perfect life. We must learn from our mistakes, and we must not be afraid to make them.

“Practice makes perfect.” “Everyone makes mistakes.” “To err is human.” “Nobody bats 1.000.”

One mistake that has saved many lives is the invention of Penicillin. Scientist, Alexander Fleming, “learned he’d made an error. More importantly, he realized that in one petri dish, a island of mold had formed. This mold was surrounded by an area that was completely free of bacteria. Upon examination, he realized that this area was filled with a secretion of a mold called Penicillium notatum.”

I challenge you to make mistakes and find the answers and path that takes you on your amazing journey of life.

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

Yesican.ncr@gmail.com

440-526-1530

The word of the day is Thoughts- wow my brain is a jumble of thoughts, ideas, as well as confusion… I know I am the only one who can control my thinking and yet I am hearing the voices from the past. Maybe it’s the time of year. Holiday season and the end of 2023 with the hope and dreams for 2024. However, I have tried not to dream too far ahead as my dreams may not truly reflect my goals I would like to achieve. I may dream of riches and elaborate vacations, but what I want is contentment and for the most part I have succeeded in obtaining my want!

Growing up I did not live in wealth although I never felt poor or deprived. Gifting in my family was never over the top. My parents were frugal but not to the point of disappointment. I remember Chanukah truly was an 8-day celebration, and it began with mom and dad creating Chanukah decorations with Styrofoam and glitter making dreidels and 6 pointed Jewish Stars. We made chains out of paper, and even strung popcorn adorning our mantel for the festival of lights. For 8 nights we would gather as a family and light the menorah sing songs like, “dreidel, dreidel, dreidel”, “Rock of Ages” (in both English and Hebrew), and “Chanukah, OH Chanukah”. Each night we received a gift. The first night I got a coloring book, the second night I got new crayons, the third night may have been gelt (money) a dollar was a lot back in the day. Each night it was something different and on the 8^th night it was climatic, one year I got a Betsy Wetsy Doll. What made the celebration so perfect were the potato latkes my mother made – grating the potatoes adding a bit of onion and frying them in oil until they were hot and crisp serving them with sour cream for some and apple sauce for others (my favorite).

The wealth I felt was the love and camaraderie within my family!

Just as we evolve through life the customs, we once held dear change. As we grow older and extend our lives outside that inner circle of family, change happens, and we have the choice to embrace it or mourn the past. I have chosen to embrace change and to create new customs that reflect who I am today.

Before I met Rich, I never would have thought I would be in an interfaith marriage. Whether it was due to the respect I felt I owed my parents, and grandparents, or something I felt would be too foreign for me, I never suspected that falling in love with my best friend would change that for me. We had both friends and family that tried to convince us to separate early on but there was a magnetic field that pulled us together. For Rich it was not true love, but a need to be with someone who cared and accepted him for who he was, not who he may be molded into. For me, if I am honest, that was the person I was looking for as well and we both met those conditions. I am not sure when I fell in love with Rich, but almost immediately I fell in love with the kindhearted person he was and still is today. I know it took Rich beyond our wedding to fall in love with me, and I was and am OK with that.

I was lucky when I met Rich and began our life together, my in-laws were loving people who accepted me from day one. I had a very special relationship with my mother-in-law, and if not for her I would not have recognized the deep love I had for my mother. In fact, these two wonderful women became friends and shared time together, as I heard so many times before it was ‘Beshert’, meant to be.

The thoughts running through my brain this morning began with realizing it was one year ago today that Alex packed up his Mazda 2 and headed to Fort Worth, Texas. Except for a short period in college, and for another job, he had lived at home. I knew the move to Texas meant he was now truly on his own and it was time for mom to accept her ‘baby’ the young man he is, was now flying the coop. The tears flowed for days and the ache I felt in my heart felt empty. But we have all evolved since that day and the emptiness is now filling up with the times we will have together and watching him succeed.

My thoughts are not only about yesterday but the steps I continue to take down my path of life. I am still on a journey, and I am blessed to have Richard in my life is has encouraged me to take the opportunities I have created. I refuse to wait for something to drop into my lap, I do not want to live in wait. I am a mover, and sometimes I shake too.

This past year I have expanded newclevelandradio.net and I am using my skills and passion in Personal Coaching. I am developing a clientele of individuals much like me who want to find the best part of themselves. When we choose to change, we do not have to throw away our past, in fact I believe keeping it in our rearview mirror allows us to become the best version of ourselves.

Join me at #YESICAN coaching with Karen

Yesican.ncr@gmail.com

440-526-1530

The Word of the Day is Football – Although it was many years later, almost a lifetime of years, that I understood my Auntie Annie’s love or commitment to Football. For her it was University of Michigan and the Detroit Lions. Her husband, my Uncle Ben, I believe was the influencer, as were his children, nephews, and nieces as well as extended family who were spectators of the sport. For me, until my 30s I found the game boring, and refused to gain any interest. But forty-two years ago, my husband, who was my significant other at the time introduced me to the CARDIAC KIDS aka The Cleveland Browns and I began my interest in the sport which included the University of Michigan where many of my family, friends, and even ex-husband went to school. As part of the BIG TEN they were dominant players each year, providing entertainment on cold Saturday afternoons.

While my oldest son attended U of M I became more of a devoted fan cheering on his college team and my youngest son was developing into a sports buff and drank up all the knowledge he could obtain and has continued being a sports encyclopedia. Since living in Ohio (from 1975 – current status), I have learned I am living in the minority here as U of M and OSU are rivals to the nth degree. However, even with all the football controversary and rivalries, U of M made it to the BIG TEN finals and won against Iowa which will take them to the National Title Series. Despite my surroundings here in Ohio I am excited and celebrating for my team.

When I was growing up my Auntie Annie was an oddity for being so into the game of Football and understanding it as well. She continued her interest even after her husband passed away. Back in the day women, wives, and girlfriends often found themselves widowed on Saturday and Sunday during the football games. However, times are a changing and the female population has become intrigued with the sport. The stats I found show that 51% of American men are avid fans while 24% of women are avid fans while another 35% are casual fans. (I just learned that women began playing competitive football in the 1920s!)

My youngest son has introduced me to many sports and of course is love for baseball has always been a passion of mine, growing up in Detroit I attended a number of Detroit Tiger games at Briggs Stadium, and when attending high school in the Twin Cities I followed the Minnesota. Harmon Killebrew, played for Minnesota, and my father’s name was Harmon, so my logic was to root for them until I returned to Detroit in 1968.

Baseball has always been my love but Football for 40 + years has become an interest as well. I may not understand all the rules, and I do not like some of the brutality of the game, but I get pulled into the action and excitement. When I think of Football, I see the struggles and challenges we all face in our lives. We are all trying to be defensive when we drive, avoiding the offensive drivers who believe they own the road, and we just need to get out of their way. Defending (defending ourselves to keep what want in tack) and Offensive (aggressively holding on to what we believe is our right) personalities are seen in daily journeys. But life is not a game, and we are not here to tackle others to the ground to gain points in life. Football is a game but for some the aggressive sport spills over into our daily routines.

As the word of the day, we must remember Football is a game and only one team can win a game. I have to remember that some games we win and some we lose, but even a loss can be a victory when we learn from it.

As a personal coach it is important to stress that winning is not the end of it all!

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

Yesican.ncr@gmail.com

440-526-1530

The Word of the Day is ENOUGH – As we come into this holiday season which concludes the year of 2024, I want to wish you all ENOUGH. Please take a minute to listen to the words of Jeff Brisbin’s song, https://jeffbrisbin.com/track/2532233/i-wish-you-enough

When Jeff wrote this song and recorded it, it was not about my mother or the emptiness I felt when she was dying but from the moment, I heard this I saw mother clearly in her last days, wishing me enough. I had spent so many years waiting for a sign that my mother and I truly loved each other, and this song is my comfort and answer that we did, and still do for eternity.

Like many of you I have wished for more and more. Until recently I never took the time to see that what I had was enough. I am not talking about things, a big and better house, fancy cars, exotic trips, jewels, etc., I am talking about love and friendship and my true passion for life.

We all experience a form of anxiety and depression throughout our lives and for some the experiences are intense and run deep into our blood stream while for others it may just be a passing twinge refusing to internalize. Personally, I know the feeling of depression and luckily whether it is something in my DNA make-up I have been able to journey through it and see the sunshine in the daylight and the bright stars in the night skies. However, for the majority of my life I did not feel enough for my mother. I made assumptions when I heard her words and my interpretations were mine, not necessarily hers. The words I misinterpreted caused me a lot of pain and anguish, but I no longer feel that.

Caring for my mother in final weeks of life and redeveloping a bond I thought we never truly had has allowed me to look at life with wider eyes and gain a better understanding of the word, “ASSUME”. Assuming I knew what my mother meant when I allowed her kind words rip through my heart made me the ASS. However, I cared for her with love, and she shared with me stories that I never heard before. (The first time my father asked my mother out she said, No. She didn’t like him!)

My mother, who once claimed she had never been depressed in her life shared stories of her life and I heard the pain she had experienced under a different name than depression. Listening to her I also realized that my mother, Dorothy, aka D’Vasha & Baube, truly experienced, ENOUGH with her loving partner and husband, my pops, J Harmon Moss. Life may not have been perfect, but they found their perfection. They provided my brothers and I with a home filled with love and joy. It was our choice to accept it or not.

Today as I thought about my word of the day, I knew it was ENOUGH.

Last week while traveling to be with family for Thanksgiving, initially I felt something was missing and I kept trying to piece it together which interfered with my appreciation of having ENOUGH and being with the special people in my life. I chose to be mindful and breathe in all that was around me and to find the special meaning of that word. It was my friend, Jeff Brisbin, who reminded me that I had ENOUGH and when he hugged me, I knew I was where I was supposed to be and nothing was missing,

Now back home and catching up on life again I am feeling blessed with all who are part of my circle or who may be joining my circle in the days to come.

I wish you and yours ENOUGH – cherish your life, it is yours to conquer and be happy.

#GivingSeason

#GivingTuesday

Word for the Day is Giving –I am not sure when #GivingTuesday began. So, I chose to look it up before explaining #MYGIVING. “What is the history of Giving Tuesday? According to GivingTuesday.org, this day of giving was founded in 2012 by New York’s 92nd Street Y in partnership with the United Nations Foundation as a day that encourages people to do good.”

I chose the word GIVING as it is something we all should be doing on a daily basis, including GIVING to ourselves. So let us begin with SELF-GIVING. This does mean we are being selfish but before we can truly give to someone else, we must be healthy and prepared.

I have a friend who is very giving, in fact he has offered up a spare room in his home to friends, and sometimes strangers who need a place to live for a short time. He does this out of the kindness of his heart and knowing that he too has needs that he believes will be met sometime by someone (maybe even himself). This friend is not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination, but he gives back sharing the little he has hoping to bring happiness to another human being. (Sadly, too often his giving is repaid by damages to the property of his home. And yet, he continues to want to give!)

There are the wealthy people who write a check once a year (sometimes more) to a charity they support and believe in the cause. Money to some is like sand on the beach abundant and if they don’t give it away – what will they do with it? So, giving to some is a tax-write off that may help others if given to the right cause. But so many of us don’t have the extra money to donate and yet we too can still give.

At age 73 I have never had a lot of extra money, but I have made small donations to charities as I learned about giving as a young child. I used to walk our neighborhood streets with my mother collecting for The Mother’s March of Dimes. In our house we had a cannister known as a ‘pushkie’ where each week we would add out extra coins and when it was filled my mother would take it to the Temple/Synagogue where the money would be available to others in need. Even when my parents struggled financially, they taught my brothers and I tzedakah. “In practice, most Jews carry out tzedakah by donating a portion of their income to charitable institutions, or to needy people they may encounter. The perception among many modern-day Jews is that if donation of this form is not possible, the obligation of tzedakah still requires that something be given.”

Today, even if we give a little of ourselves to someone else to make their day a little sunnier is GIVING.
Sharing an idea, a thought that may benefit another is GIVING.
When making a purchase and rounding up is GIVING.
Doing a chore for someone is GIVING.
Weeding out your closet and donating your unneeded belongings is GIVING.
Creating a care package of $ toiletries and bringing them to a homeless shelter or your local community center is a form of GIVING.
Volunteering in a Soup Kitchen is another way of GIVING.
Become a Foster Family – there are children of all ages that are in need – this could be your GIVING.
Befriend a neighbor or someone who may be aging alone – Friendship is GIVING.
Volunteer your time at the food pantry this is GIVING and Helping fill a role.
Become a listener for friends or relatives who need to speak, when your ears listen, and your mouth remains mute this is GIVING.
Volunteer your skillset to teach others so they may gain additional expertise is GIVING.

Develop your own list and mix kindness and gratitude in it and our world will be a better place when we GIVE because we will RECEIVE in turn.

Let us make #GivingSeason & #GivingTuesday everyday!

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

Yesican.ncr@gmail.com

The Word of the Day is Home – Do you dream of going to Grandmother’s house, or mom’s, your sibling’s or to somewhere special to celebrate a holiday or life event? As wonderful as all the planning and anticipation may be, do you often think if I were home, I could do this…because I am here, I must do this. Now being away from home has a number of positives because often you are the guest and that means you are relieved of your everyday duties that may include cleaning, cooking, laundry, and going to work. However, being at home for some may feel lonely, isolated, and sad.

As crazy and sometimes uncomfortable as I might feel when I visit family or take a mini vacation, I always look forward to coming back home. Home is my safe space, my space with ‘my things’. When I wake up in the morning I can stay in bed and just think, or come into my office/studio to write, podcast, or just think (alone). When I want my coffee, I can go downstairs and use my Keurig™ to make my coffee. I have breakfast food to eat when I am ready, or not…and I don’t have to shower and dress before I eat. Home is my routine and once I get caught up and feel overwhelmed it will be time for me to go visit family or take a mini trip again.

Dreams of far away places and the opportunity to run off and be somewhere else help me appreciate what I have. I don’t live in a big fancy house, nor do I have help cooking, cleaning, or catering to me. My husband and I live comfortably in our condo townhome. We are two peas in the same pod with an open invitation to our friends and family to visit us and enjoy our hospitality.

HOME: “the place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household.”

The holiday times remind me that there are people (our friends and family) who may be wondering the streets, “without a home, and therefore typically living on the streets.” Whether by choice or circumstances, no one should be without a home, a family to embrace them in finding a safe and comfortable place. This is a reminder that may have been us if we tripped up along the path of life.

As a single mom between marriage one and two (the forever after) I have found myself close to the brink of homelessness, however, when I came close to hitting the wall face forward, I was able to blink and change my direction. The love my parents shared with me, and my brothers has been my life preserver, and I realize not everyone has had that experience. If I can do one thing in my lifetime it is to offer up the positivity that often is lost when we become overwhelmed. We each can offer a hand and assist someone in need.

Coaching is the path I have chosen, and I welcome you to reach out:

Yesican.ncr@gmail.com

440 526 1530

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

The Word for the Day is Understanding – We do not all think the same. We have daily variations with the people we love known as family and friends.

Webster’s dictionary states: “What does have differences mean? To disagree with someone on one or more matters: We’ve had our differences, but we’ve learned how to work together very well.

If we can accept someone else for their variations on life, they in turn should accept our thoughts and viewpoints. One of our podcasts (now on Hiatus) “Thoughts, Theories, and Queries”, hosted by Steve Valdez begins with this introduction. https://newclevelandradio.net/listening-links/thoughts-theories-and-queries-steve-valdez/

For most of my life, I’ve kept my opinions and ideas to myself and was happy to do so. Sure, I’d spout off from time to time at my wife about one thing or another. But over time, that silent, head-shaking audience of one became a little weary of being the sole brunt of my rants. So, I shared my ideas with a friend who encouraged me to put my ideas in writing. And so, it began.
There is a difference between having an opinion and someone wondering, “How in the hell did they come up with that B.S.?” I think it’s a combination of age, wisdom, cynicism, and just a pinch of senility that gives us the latter. Well, that’s me. But my opinions are more like theories because rather than just complaining about the way things are, I try to pose alternate ways that things could be. Right or wrong, agree or disagree, they are the ideas buzzing around in my head like a #5 clipper in a barbershop. There will be theories from everything from Einstein’s Relativity (#14) to toilet paper (#3),
I post one theory per week, along with a quote and photo relative to that theory. I put them out into the ether purely for entertainment purposes, although I truly believe in everything I say. I am passionate about what I write and try to cite sources as my fleeting memory serves. If what I say upsets you, that’s ok, too. At least it got you to emote. Emoting is good. Let it out. But at least read them. You never know; you might just say, “That Old School S.O.B. just might know what he’s talking about.”

The Theories have been developed by Steve Valdez – thought-provoking and worthy of conversation.
To comment or connect with Steve Valdez please email newclevelandradio@gmail.com in the Subject: Theories

As we approach Thanksgiving dinners, holiday parties, as well as Christmas, Chanukah, and Kwanza, many of us may be in situations where the conversation may be controversial leaving you to smile and nod against what you believe or to rebuttal which often turns into loud voices and fracturing the event. It’s not that we should discuss subjects that have various opinions but to allow each of the participants to speak without judgement and alleviating any deep wounds. Words can be as destructive as any physical wound may be.

As a coach I find myself listening to my clients and at one time I may have been judgmental. However, my training and the toolbox I have at my disposal helps me listen while being mindful that I do not have to agree or disagree. My job is to help you, my client, explore your views and identify how well they are working for you. We explore what works and what doesn’t and together we will develop tools to assist you in moving forward.

“Positive Intelligence”, has taught me to refocus when I hear something that my initial reaction is to disagree often needs thought. Before I speak, I may need to take a deep breath, focus on something other than the subject in discussion, a few second pause may provide me the mediation I need before being the Bull in the China Shop. Also, through this training I am more mindful of my strengths and weaknesses and a weakness I have is that of a “Pleaser” and the peacekeeper which has led people to what they think I believe. Sometimes it is best to not speak or to walk away. (Did you know that those are tools?)

Coaching is the first step to understanding ourselves. What do we want. How do we want to achieve it. What will we do when we reach achievement. Is achievement a dead end or is there something that follows? As humans we often jump into making a change before we understand if it will affect us positively or negatively. Today I offer you the opportunity to begin to understand yourself and become the best version of yourself.

The Word for the Day is Anticipation – Carly Simon made the song, “Anticipation” her own but the title often fills hearts with joy and too often with anxiety. Since 2021 when we (my family of 3) decided that we no longer wanted to spend Thanksgiving alone, we created a new tradition and we have traveled to be with my brother and his family and friends. From the moment we began planning this journey in the summer of 2021 it has filled my heart with love and hope despite the fact that we are not a Hallmark™ movie family. The lyrics:

“Anticipation, anticipation
Is making me late
Is keeping me waiting”

is the feeling I have all year round. From the moment we arrive we start talking about next year when we should be enjoying the moment. Tomorrow is not promised, we have this moment, and it is up to all of us to make most of each moment, find the positive joy, set aside the sorrows, for minute, for an hour, for a day…Anticipate how you can make the memories that will fill your heart and focus on your positive thoughts.

Now, if we are all honest family gatherings / friend gatherings are not always as perfect as they are in a Hallmark™ movie. While family holidays are intended to be fun and special, too often one member of the family (or two) creates stress and anxiety for the group. If we can enter the holiday without preconceived conceptions and agree we are all unique individuals with likes and dislikes, we should be able to create our Happy Holiday.

As we prepare to hit the road this week to spend our third Thanksgiving in our favorite place, Saratoga Springs, the only thing I am anticipating is to appreciate the individuals we will be feasting with. It’s OK if I don’t like turkey and I prefer to eat the side dishes as well as desserts. It’s also OK that some of us may like pumpkin pie, and some do not. It’s OK that some will want an alcoholic beverage and others will prefer water, tea, coffee, or soda. It’s OK when the conversation turns in a direction that we might not agree we do not have to pursue an argument, silence is golden.

My anticipation is to make the time as positive as I can and to put off planning for next year until we are traveling back home. Being with my family has always been important to me. As a young child, holidays were spent with many aunts and uncles, grandparents, cousins, and friends of the family. We would gather around an extended dining room table at my Aunt Jeans, Auntie Annie, or my mom’s. Sometimes the seating was tight, but we were at a family gathering for a holiday experience. Looking back at those holiday meals I remember the Hallmark™ essence. (That’s a child’s mind seeing all the beauty and ignoring whatever stress and anxiety may have developed unbeknownst to me.)

So, as I get prepared to pack for our holiday trip I an pledging to use my child’s mind and just enjoy!

I am wishing you all a BEAUTIFUL HOLIDAY experience whether you plan to spend it solo, with friends, family, or a mixture …Anticipate Happiness and Create Happiness…

The Word of the Day is Peace – I do not understand why we cannot live in Peace. I wish someone could explain to me why the smartest animals on the planet (humans) must act savagely and demand that it is their way or the highway. The word means: “freedom from disturbance; tranquility.” It is also referring to “a state or period in which there is no war, or a war has ended.” And yet in my lifetime of 73+ years, there is always warring, whether it is as explosive as the wars in the middle east, on the Russian borders or in our own backyards, neighbor versus neighbor, there is death and dying among us.

Growing up I was taught the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” And yet there are fractions worldwide who do not believe or observe this rule. Instead, we have people who believe that they are superior. WHY? What makes someone better than another?

If I don’t agree with someone or I dislike the stance they may take I have the choice to accept our differences or walk away and allow them to their beliefs with no disturbance. If we all could learn to be mindful of others and accept our differences accepting, we would not agree 100% of the time, wouldn’t we be living in a Peaceful world?

My maternal grandparents migrated to the United States from a city in Russia (now Ukraine) called Horodok. My grandfather (Zayde) migrated first to the U.S. sponsored by a cousin who lived in the Boston area. The story goes he left my grandmother (Baube) behind with their baby girl Jean. (Unbeknownst to them Baube was pregnant with their daughter, Ann.) My Zayde walked to the port in Kyiv and came to America via steerage (that was the only accommodations he could afford). He chose to immigrate as the Cossacks had been raiding their villages and killing Jews. Once he settled in the United States he went from Boston to Detroit and began working in his trade of Tailoring. When he was settled and made enough money to return to Horodok he brough my Baube and their two daughters to Detroit where they lived and raised their family, leaving other loved ones behind.

America offered my Zayde and Baube a more peaceful life, although they lived through the atrocities of Word War I & II, as well as the Korean War, into Vietnam. Although feeling safe in Detroit, the riots of 60s produced fear for my Zayde, reminding him of his youth in Russia.

So, peace for some may not being in the middle of the fight but in today’s society the fighting seems to be all around us. Where are safe?

- Road rage has killed – “A total of 12,610 injuries and 218 murders have been attributed to road rage over a seven-year period in the United States (SafeMotorist).”
  - In 2022, someone was shot and killed in a road rage incident every 16 hours. (Everytown Research)”
- Domestic Violence killing – “In 2021, 34% of the estimated 4,970 female victims of murder and nonnegligent manslaughter were killed by an intimate partner.

In comparison, about 6% of the 17,970 males murdered that year were victims of intimate partner homicide.”
Gun Deaths – “20,726 -The number of gun deaths, excluding suicides in 2021.

We are not living in a Peaceful world, yet if I were to ask the majority of you reading this do you practice peaceful living, the answer would be YES. So, my question again is why can’t we develop Peace among all people? It starts with each of us being mindful that if we want to have an opinion it’s ok for someone else to believe differently but we need not war against each other. We have nothing to prove except to live our lives in PEACE.

The Word of the Day is Thanks -When my husband Rich and I got married holidays were spent with either his parents or mine. Since my in-laws lived just a few miles down the road when we were both working, Thanksgiving itself was with my in-laws and a weekend visit to my parents in Michigan often happened weeks later to celebrate Chanukkah. Christmas was once again spent with my husband’s family, and we fell into the routine of family holidays.

Our holiday celebrations were nothing like the Hallmark™ movies in fact they always had their own drama.

My husband’s family was small but his brother who marched to his personal beat often threw a wrench into the celebration. If my mother-in-law invited us to be at there house at 2 pm, sometime around 3 pm, David with call with some excuse as to why he was running late, but eventually he would show up and act as if he was the ‘star’ of the family Hallmark™ holiday.

Once we were all together, we opened up a zillion packages, my in-laws were givers and in giving they believed they had to give equally. I love and miss Loretta and Ed Hale there were not just my in-laws but my friends and my family.

A trip to Michigan to see my parents could be just as tension filled. Upon arrival My mom gave me a list of relatives to call and let them know we were in town. The reaction I got from Aunts and Cousins was, “enjoy your time with your mom and dad.” My parents always invited others to sit at our holiday table, my nieces and nephew and their significant others and eventually their children. Since both my brothers lived out of town as well, we rarely all got together at the same time. When we did all the Moss and Friedman cousins were involved and my parents would rent out their apartment party room to accommodate us all. My brother Joel enjoyed being the holiday cook and baker with the help of my mom. We had enough food to donate to a homeless shelter on these occasions.

Holiday time changed in 2007 when my mother-in-law passed away just before Christmas that year. Our holiday traditions changed and Alex, Rich and I felt lonely. We tried creating new traditions, but nothing seemed to work. Even visiting my mom for Channukah was anti-climatic as she was now a widow and living in a smaller apartment, not ideal for family gatherings, but we spent time with her, and we would go to the Deli for Latkes.

In 2021 we began a new tradition, and we travel to Saratoga Springs, NY to enjoy Thanksgiving with my brother and his wife and my niece and her children. There are always extras around the table as my brother invites friends to join us rather than be alone on the holiday. The feast my brother prepares could be part of the casting for a Hallmark™ movie, his feast always is topped off with home made pumpkin and apple pie. Everything is made purely and as TL would say in a sustainable environment.

So, my word for the day, “Thanks” is a plural noun that means an expression of gratitude or acknowledgment of services or favors given.”

Today I give thanks for the loving relationship I have had with my husband of almost 40 years, not counting tomorrow. He is my best friend, confident, and not to be too mushy, my lover.
Today I give thanks to my first-born Steve who has traveled a bumpy road with me but in the end has made our mother-son relationship strong with love.
Today I give thanks to my youngest son Alex who has taught me how to be strong and face my challenges with positivity. Our mother-son relationship also comes with love.
Today I give thanks to my brothers Gary and Joel who put up with me as their baby sister and accepted me as adult sister. I feel blessed that we keep in touch with each other and enjoy each other’s company.
Today I give thanks to my sister-in-law TL. From the first day we met she has been my friend and the sister I always wanted.
Today I give thanks to my niece Rachael. Although I missed many years of her life as she was growing up, maturing, and becoming a mom, the times we had in the past and the times we have today make me smile. She is like the daughter I always wanted.

This part is difficult for me to write because I do not want anyone to feel slighted, however I can only mention a few.

Robbin Kuhlman and Kafia Renay – thank you for being the best caregivers for my mom and becoming my friend. Your love and support fill my heart!
Candace Pollock, you are more than my client, you are my friend, my coach, and having you in my life has made my world sweeter, just being you.
Kristy Doolittle Anderson, since getting to know you I feel a connection that often is something someone feels for another who they have spent years together sharing. However, you have opened my heart up in ways I never knew I could love so deeply.
To my Bagley Friends, I am so appreciative of our connections growing over the last 60+ years, you keep the flame burning and the memories to fill the emptiness as we age together.
To my St. Louis Park Friends, whether we were close as friends in high school or we passed each other in the hall changing classes, you bring such delight to my life and I have been lucky to reconnect with some both virtually and in person, (I love you Carol Wexlar Kalnow.)

I have learned it is easier to be happy than to be sad. Sometimes sadness prevails but looking through the tunnel we can see happiness if we focus and walk forward.

To be thankful you may have to be the one who reaches out and take a grip on the thing that makes you smile.

The Word of the Day is Frustration – As a mom, as a wife, as a friend, and as a businesswoman there are days that the chatter you are hearing from those around cause you unsurmountable frustration. My coach, Candace Pollock uses the term, ‘out of cope’. Yesterday and today, I am “out of cope”.

Most mornings when my youngest son is driving to work in Dallas, Texas traffic he calls me to check in and has a sounding board to get out his frustrations on the drivers and gridlock they are causing. It seems no matter what time he leaves for work there is always an accident or unexpected road repairs delaying his travels. Some mornings I can let it roll off my shoulders and let him expound on what he calls the worst drivers in the world. However, yesterday as well as today, I had no cope to listen or react.

Additionally, my husband loves to call me in the middle of his one ride to work to share some comedian’s line he just heard on one of his Sirius Stations. Typically, his version is not nearly as funny as he intends it to be…

Today I had a want to be podcast host contact me asking to be part of newclevelandradio.net but placed conditions on how the podcast would go and what they expected from newclevelandradio.net. All I can say is, I need some cope. The definition of frustration is: “the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of the inability to change or achieve something.”

Luckily, I have a toolkit that I can open up and release the frustration with coping skills that include deep breathing, or meditation which for me is looking out into the skies and connecting with my parents (in the heavens above) for the comfort that loving parents often provide. Sometimes like my husband I will listen to comedy or music to lift my spirits and change my thought pattern to feel more in control. However, being human means that I will not always be perfect and use my tools or even use them properly. But knowing I have them allows me to get back to space where I “have cope” again.

The Word of the Day is AH! Is there a day of the week that causes you to smile? Is there a day of the week that you dread? Is there a day of the week that gives you a pause?

Most days bring a smile to my lips, and Monday is my day to pause and reflect and begin again! However, Sunday has been a day that I dread! However, the two times I got married, I got married on a Sunday. Ok, my first marriage didn’t last but it did bring me the opportunity to learn and search for myself. Also, my oldest son Steve is a gift from that union. My current marriage going on forty years has brought me everlasting love and happiness. Yet, Sunday is not my favorite day of the week.

As a young child Sunday meant returning to school tomorrow on Monday. I am not sure why, but the thought of going to school the next day seemed to carve into any enjoyment I had on that day. Sunday school was just OK, but after class I always snuck into the men’s club brunch which had just ended and my dad would find me a bagel, a kaiser roll, or some Danish to nibble on, and that was so good! Most Sunday’s we went home and I either played by myself, did homework, or fussed over the fact there was nothing to do. My dad owned the TV on Sunday and he planted himself in front of the game of the week whether it was baseball, football, basketball, or hockey season. One Sunday a month for years I would travel with my grandparents from Detroit to Toledo to visit with my Aunt Leiba’s family, but as the years passed by much changed and Sunday was just a day that I dread because my responsibilities for school or work loomed in front of me.

I still feel a sense of dread on Sunday’s, and most Sunday’s I wait for the dread to be lifted from my memory bank.

Monday is my AH Day! It is the opportunity to brush off the off feelings stored up over the years for Sunday. It is the day that I wake up and look forward to what I want to accomplish. Sometimes I set my goals a bit too high to reach and I have to make the choice to step up on the ladder or prioritize my day and week ahead. I may feel anxious and depressed on a Sunday, but I have learned to limit those feelings by using some of the tools I have picked up along the way.

Yesterday, Sunday, I was in an ACE Hardware store with my husband. We were buying some needed items to repair some items in our home. I took a long pause while in the store thinking of the tools, I have that could begin to repair my Sunday dread. It was standing in that store I heard my internal voice tell me that I had the power to not feel anxious, fearful, unhappy because of something long ago that triggered the feeling of dread. With my tools I could enjoy where I was in the moment, and almost immediately I saw that hardware store filled with promise.

The paint could be used to brighten my outlook.
A hammer could be used to knock out some of the memories that were not working well.
The screwdriver could tighten up or loosen the walls that were holding me back from enjoying the day.
A shovel could dig a hole to bury the unwanted thoughts and memories that to this day caused me unhappiness.
I saw light bulbs and Christmas strands of lights that I could decorate myself with and provide me with brightness and a new outlook on what the day truly is.
There were so many tools of different shapes and sizes that were offering me the opportunity to challenge the thoughts that made me feel alone even while standing in a busy Ace Hardware store.

We all dread something in our lives and when we allow it to make us feel bad when we have the opportunity to feel good it is time to reach out to someone who understands those feelings. It is time to become the best version of yourself and unleash your power to find excitement, contentment, while pushing those demon thoughts away!

Contact: #YESICAN coaching with Karen @ yesican.ncr@gmail.com

440 526 1530

The Word of the day is APPRECIATE – Growing up as much as I loved my family, I never truly appreciated them. I grew up wanting to be like someone else. Watching Father Knows Best, I wanted my dad to call me ‘Kitten’, and when watching Donna Reed, I wanted to be cute and vivacious as Mary Stone (played by Shelly Fabares). When it was fashionable for mothers to stay at home, cook, clean, shop, etc., my mother did all those things plus worked out of the house. Not only did I live in a two-income family, but it was a necessary two-income situation. Additionally, my mom spent many nights at her sewing machine either making me a new outfit so I could dress like my peers, or she was creating a cocktail dress for herself so she and dad could attend parties. It was because my mom had creative talents, she did that our closet was filled with stylish clothing. However, I would beg to go shopping and buy a store made skirt.

Growing up we (my brothers and I) had a roof over our head, food for our bellies, and a lot of love. But even growing up in the 50s and 60s we all wanted to live like most of our neighbors with a bit more affluence. One of the lessons I learned early on was not to judge or assume you know what your neighbor has or not. That is why my word for today is so important for me, as I do appreciate what I had then and what I have now.

To appreciate means, “To understand the worth or importance of something or someone.” I believe my awareness that money did not grow on trees and that working often is a necessity, had made me the person I am today. I like beautiful and fine items like most people, but I have learned how to turn simple things into fine items and that shine. One of the finest things I have had in my lifetime is love. My parents were affection and that trickled down to my brothers and me. As different as all three of us are we are connected through love.

My sons and my husband are my gems, and they shine brightly.

My friends are an extension into my beautiful life, and I trust our love for each other, and the world at large will bring at least a fraction of peace to this mother earth we live on.

I believe my appreciation for what I have, not what I want, brings me daily happiness.

I hope and pray my little ray of sunshine will warm your soul and provide you with a life of appreciation.

Contact me: yesican.ncr@gmail.com

Or 440 526 1530

The Word of the Day is Reflection– I have been taking some time over the past couple of weeks to prepare me for my journey that I have paved ahead. Although I announced in April, I was beginning my coaching practice I did not do it in the manner I truly meant for it to formulate into something that is truly important for me. In fact, when I made the announcement, I was waiting for the phone to ring and my email box to fill up with clients and I knew that was not going to happen, I had to put the work into finding my clients and providing coaching that would encourage them to retain me as well as refer me. I have created some coaching client relationships however, I felt like something was missing and it has taken me until now to see what that missing puzzle piece is.

A few weeks ago, I started a TikTok doing brief announcements for #YESICAN coaching with Karen, https://www.tiktok.com/@yesican_coaching

As much as I enjoy promoting my services on TikTok today I realized the missing puzzle piece was not being honest with myself. I knew I had to stand proud and be vulnerable and reach out to friends, family, and colleagues and ASK for referrals. I have never shied from helping others out when they were building and promoting their business so why was I shying away from asking. Was I insecure in my abilities as a coach?

As I reflected on the WHY the answer came to me, I was taught not to depend on others and if you want something you should step up to the plate, formulate your plan and go for it. What I forgot was the messages I learned growing up were a bit flawed because sometimes you need assistance, and support to achieve your goals. Just as I want to assist others as I coach them along their pathway, I needed to reach out and ask for referrals. I also had to ask if they themselves were looking for a coach and would they consider hiring me.

In reflection I also had to remind myself why I want to coach, and I know my answer will sound trite, but I want to help other people just like me become the best version of themselves. It’s never too late and I for one waited a long time to allow myself to want and dream and take the steps to achieving. Once I gave myself permission to be me, I found happiness that no one else could provide me.

This afternoon I looked in the mirror and I noticed a smile in my eyes, and I felt a weight off my shoulders because today I am not afraid to ASK. My reflection told me, #YESICAN.

Contact me: yesican.ncr@gmail.com

Or 440 526 1530

The Word of the Day is YES Despite the fact that our Republican Governor and his party in Ohio wanted to control the health and reproduction rights of women, the people spoke and voted YES to Issue 1. Abortion is not legal in Ohio! Now that is not to say DeWine and those that believe as he does cannot be Pro Life what this passage means is we (women) have a choice. Pro Life is a Choice as well as Abortion as needed.

My Jewish culture believes in the health and welfare of the mother first. However, if your belief is different that is your choice. I’ve shared before that I had an unexpected pregnancy in the 90s, a multiple pregnancy and although unexpected by choice we were going to see it through, however; Mother Nature took our choice away from us. I learned of my pregnancy at 8 weeks, at 9 weeks I started spotting and bleeding. Upon examination one of the fetuses died and it was suggested I have an abortion to remove the dead fetus to assist the other 3 to survive. We made the choice to do so, and the day after that procedure I spontaneously lost a second. Although this pregnancy was unexpected/ not planned we now felt that we were safe until a week later while I was leading a training session I started cramping and the pain intensified, and the bleeding weakened me to my knees. At this point my doctor told me I had no choice but to abort the two fetuses that were playing havoc on my body and health. By week 12 I had three what in today’s terms would be called abortions.

I am grateful that in the 90s Roe/vs/Wade was still in affect and my medical team and I could make the choices needed to be safe and healthy.

Yesterday, the people of Ohio spoke out loud and clear that Abortion as a need is acceptable. We are not killing babies. Women are not getting pregnant in order to have a baby and abort it. And for those who do not understand by passing Issue 1 medical teams can provide reproductive healthcare for all women. I saw my college roommate go through a back-alley abortion and we almost lost her as she hemorrhaged excessively ending up in the hospital. My roommate was Catholic, and she took all the precautions taught to her in her religious training and yet little did she and her partner know that she was at risk. No one should have to go through back-alley health procedures. Thanks to the majority vote our women in Ohio are safe!

Today when I say YES, I know I have a choice and living in a democratic society provides me with the freedom of choosing. I do not have to agree with my neighbors but in our communities, we must respect each other for their beliefs as we want to be accepted for ours.

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

newclevelandradio@gmail.com

440-526-1530

The Word of the Day is ENOUGH Not every day is filled with excitement and energy. In fact, I find myself struggling with not doing enough. I hate thinking I should have, would have, when I find myself questioning my purpose. 2023 has thrown obstacles into my path which I have turned into challenges which I have dealt with, sometimes not as positive as I tried to convince myself were.

2023 our nest emptied out and I found myself redefining my purpose. I will always be a mother, but I don’t have to deal with the day-to-day issues and that has been both a blessing as well as a hardship for me. I think I knew at an early age, 2 or 3 years old, my path in life led to being a mother. However, I thought I would be more like June Cleaver (Leave it to Beaver), or Carol Brady (The Brady Bunch). What I didn’t know when I was that young Karen planning my life that I would travel down numerous windy roads to get to where I wanted/needed to be.

Yesterday was a long day of production with the joy of meeting new people and sharing their journeys and seeing some of the parallels that connects us as humans. Waking up today with a less than productive calendar calling to me I have this sense that I should be experiencing more! This has been happening more often than not. I have lived my life as a Type A personality and committing/over committing to STUFF. However, two of my personal coaches, Candace and Kristy often ask me if STUFF is my purpose or is the productivity of yesterday my purpose. When I answer yesterday’s productivity, I have been encouraged to recreate it, to take the path that will lead me there. I’m reminded that stuff is not my purpose, it may create a busy schedule but at the end of the day where has it led me?

My purpose is working towards that feeling of accomplishment, the planning, execution, and the wrap up where I can sit back and appreciate how I got to this moment in time. It can be enough for me to take a moment, an hour, a day or more to breathe in the accomplishments and examine what may lie ahead for me in my journey. Today I am enjoying taking in my success that includes slowing down the hamster wheel and relishing in what has happened and how I can enjoy ENOUGH.

My dear friend Jeff Brisbin wrote and produce my favorite song https://jeffbrisbin.com/music “I wish you enough…”

Jeff, I have discussed this song and what I hear in it is not the story he is telling. When I first heard the song, I connected with my momma who passed away in 2016. I heard her telling me I didn’t have to prove myself anymore – I sensed her unconditional love that I should learn to accept enough. I didn’t have to bury myself in stuff to legitimize myself, all I needed to do was live my purpose and that includes being mindful and enjoying MY purpose.

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

I encourage you to step out of the hamster cage and find your purpose and live, YOU’RE ENOUGH!

newclevelandrdio@gmail.com

4405261530

The Word of the Day is Support Now this word can take on many connotations, “to bear all or part of the weight”. However, when it is your spouse and friends providing you with support, it takes on a broader meaning.

On Thursday I had minor ear surgery and on Friday evening I had my COVID vaccine. Now I should be surprised because I have gotten 6 for 24-48 after each of the vaccines and this one took me down. I spent the whole day, Saturday, in bed and drinking fluids. This morning I woke feeling like I was on the mend, however I am still feeling week and headachy. I rather be ill for a day or two than to be sick with COVID!

My husband was and is stoic, he knows what I need when this happens, and he provided me with a lot of space and replenished my liquids. This morning he took me out for a protein breakfast, and he has been by my side when needed, however when I feel like this, just leave me alone and let my body fight it.

I have some wonderful friends who either texted, emailed, or left voice messages for me. I feel blessed to have so many people in my life that sincerely care. As I am sitting here in the office putting the Word of the Day out, I am finding my inner strength to get back to my normal mental and physical health.

My entire life I have been the pleaser of the crowd with that 6^th sense of what someone else may need and all the years in the past I never recognized the wonderful people who are there for me.

My husband, my sons, my brother (only one knows what I went through) and friends with a special, very special thank you to Kristy. Prior to taking Positive Intelligence (thank you Candace Pollock) I was not mindful of the support I was getting; I was focusing on the support I was providing. However, Positive Intelligence has taught me to be more mindful and to appreciate those who truly care.

Although I physically needed my husband’s support over the last 48 hours, I appreciate that after 40 plus years together he knows how to read me and provide for me, it’s about the little things.

As a coach I remind my clients that we all have someone(s) in our life that cares about us and when we realize how special those relationships are it is important to nurture them as they provide us with happiness. When we are happy the healing takes place and provides us with the life we deserve.

Think about your support system and keep them close.

#YESICAN coaching with Karen

newclevelandrdio@gmail.com

4405261530

The Word of the Day is Worthy. Let me dig deep and explain.

I have always identified as a Type A personality. “A Type A personality is a pattern of behavior and personality that’s associated with high achievement, competitiveness, and impatience.” I identify with impatience and therefore keeping busy, multi-tasking before it became a thing. I wished for high achievement, but hindsight shows me that I never truly applied myself to one thing at a time to attain that status. As for competitiveness, it comes out in some scenarios but as a pleaser, I chose to make others happy over my needs.

For most of my life I would tell myself I was worthy but unless I was busy accomplishing something I didn’t believe it!

Over the best 20 years I have learned to like myself, love myself, and to truly accept that I am a worthy person; however, there are weeks like the last couple that I find myself still searching for something.

I don’t know if intuition, or an inner need slowed me down. I was not aware that this was happening until this week when I looked at my calendar and it was sparsely filled with activity work as well as personal. Now as it turns out I did need to plan for some personal time off, but I did not know this until two weeks ago. Typically, my calendar is filled out months in advance, so this has left me feeling a bit empty. Empty because being busy and productive is what I related to worthiness.

This morning after my husband left for work, I felt the emotion of guilt. Rich, my husband has an hour drive to and from work and he works an 8-hour day. When the alarm goes off at 4:30 a.m. I get up with him and begin my day too, however this morning I fell back to sleep. I awoke in time to have a quick breakfast with him and kiss him goodbye. Now on what a call a productive day I would have gone into my studio/office, checked my calendar arranged for the day, shower dress, and get my worthy self into gear. However, this morning after clearing the breakfast dishes, I slowly walked upstairs into my office and sat down to write my Word of the Day post.

I was not feeling worthy, the guilt that influenced my life as a child seeped into my brain and began traveling throughout my body. If worthy was related to accomplishments, and accomplishments were related to being busy, if I wasn’t busy, I must not be worthy. If I’m not worthy, then what am I?

I AM WORTHY. Multi-tasking and being busy are not synonymous with worth. When I looked up the definition of worthy, I noted the following: “it refers to something or someone with good qualities to be considered important or useful.” You and I are the only ones who can determine our worthiness. It is when we allow ourselves to be compared to others, we judge ourselves more harshly than others would dare to judge us.

If keeping a calendar filled with to dos every moment of the day identifies my value, then I think it’s time to reevaluate myself. I think I needed this time to refocus on what is important and what isn’t and to allow myself the self-reflection time. Self-reflection allows us to focus on the things we want to change. What I realized as I began writing this, blogging and journaling provides me the opportunity to challenge the feelings (I connect with guilt) and focus on what I need. Yes, I needed this time.

For the past year or two I have been adding things to my calendar as I searched for Karen. I’ve always been here but at times I’ve been invisible as I whirled through the many tasks, I invented to prove my worthiness. However, I do not have to prove myself, what I need to do is recognize when I am falling out of grace with myself.

Positive Intelligence has helped me focus on what is important, my coach Candace Pollock has provided me with guidance and mentoring that allows me to challenge my thoughts and feelings (physical and emotional). Being human means, we will have experiences that will take us to the heights of happiness as well as to the depths of depression. However, when we reach out for the lifeline to emerge to the top, we can begin to focus on what is important for us!

#YESICAN coaching with Karen – I can assist you as I have been there and will be there again, but I have tools that bring me back to the surface. If you are human and would like some of the tools email me at newclevelandradio@gmail.com or call 440 526 1530.

The Word of the Day is WHY?

My word of the Day is WHY? WHY with a big questions mark. Do we really believe GOD, Allah, Budda, Christ, or the various spiritual deities truly believe in evil? Evil personalities have always been around since the snake convinced Eve to take a bite from the apple. I do not believe our spiritual leaders encourage hate that is identified as war, and antisemitism. Why are the extremist calling for the end of Jews? Didn’t we learn anything from the Holocaust, Jews are people like Christians, Buddhist, Muslims, etc. There is no one group that is better than another, but all should be provided with the opportunity to believe and live in peace.

Anti-Semitism is prejudice and/or discrimination against Jews as individuals and as a group. Anti-Semitism is a stereo type of belief against a group of people (practicing the traditions or not), who have followed the teaching in the Old Testament for a Jewish State, Israel was proclaimed that in 1948. Prior to that date and since, the non-Jewish Extremist have continued to attack Israel and the Jewish population as a whole.

These past few weeks we are seeing Jews around the world be targeted by these Extremist. They are small in number but loud in their actions as they are creating fear and terror around the globe. Because the group known as Humus are Muslim, does that mean I should hate Muslims? My answer is no, it is not about a religious sect, it is about the individuals that have chosen to take an evil path. Why can’t we stop the fighting (words) and killing (guns and bombs) and share mother earth in peace.

In my neighborhood we have people of all ages, sexual identities, various religions, and political backgrounds living in peace. However, outside my little condo village I am not sure what awaits me?

Why? I was taught to live my the Golden Rule – how do we stop the hate, fear, and answer the question WHY?

The Word of Day is CHOICE

When we are born, we have no say as to who our parents/family will be. We are innocent little beings and the majority of us are very blessed/lucky to be part of a nurturing family. It is important to note that nurturing takes on a variety of definitions based on the culture and environment we are born into. The word nurture means: “the process of caring for and encouraging the growth or development of someone or something.”

There is a saying, “You can’t choose your family…” and that relates to our birth family, but family is not just blood relations. Many of us create family through relationships defining commonalities and gaining trust and acceptance. Sometimes the biological family fails the newborn, and that human may struggle until he or she finds their core of individuals often called extended family.

Family is a community of individuals who come together supporting and encouraging each other to be their best version of themselves. If we all can follow the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” a biblical concept related to many religions and spiritual beliefs, our communities would be mindful of the needs of each other and support and guidance would prevail for all, not just for some.

Some days I feel like I am writing just to convince myself that ‘we’ can live harmoniously and in peace with acceptance. That our differences will be accepted, and we will grow with the knowledge of that uniqueness is alright. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we lived in a non-violent world where it is their way or the highway? (And what if the highway is blocked leaving us no choice!)

I grew up in Jewish Conservative home. My parents provided us with Jewish learning, customs and traditions and my brothers and I attended Sunday and Hebrew School where additional education was provided. My brothers and I all received the same messages at home with love and yet as adults we took our education and the messages, we received from them and chose to live our lives differently from our upbringing but never forgetting what we learned. We assimilated our religion to create a meaningful life experience, yes, we are Jewish, and we are American, we are peaceful humans interacting with our extended families of unique individuals.

When I married my husband who was raised in a non-practicing Christian home, we brought together his learnings and mine and we cultivate a life that shares equally. When we met, we were both told our relationship would not last. Interfaith marriages can be confusing and cause dramatic issues for some. However, we chose to be friends, lovers, and soulmates and we have combined our differences into a mutual respect as we honor each other. My husband was going to convert before we got married. We attended conversion classes together and at the end I asked him not to convert. I would not give up my faith, and I did not want him to give up his and that is why we will celebrate our 40^th Wedding Anniversary in 2024.

When we are born, we do not have the choice to be born into wealth or poverty. We don’t have the option to have two loving parents. Our choices will come later in life when we can make changes that suit us, our uniqueness. When those choices are made, we should be allowed to be the best versions of ourselves without judgement. Choice does not need to be war against what was or is. Choice is a possibility, an action taken to create a solution. Solutions should be peaceful.

My word of the day is Choice – I have the right to live my life as do you, but it must be in peace!

The Word of the Day is CAN

Not like a can of soup, but the ability to do something/anything that will bring some joy into your life. For some that may mean just getting out of bed on a Monday morning. Early birds may have gone out jogging, running or power walking. And for some just thinking it’s another day!

I am having a difficult time realizing it is almost the end of the summer (weather wise). Kids and teachers will be returning to school in the next couple of weeks. College freshmen will be packing their bags and leaving the cocoon of their home…it will never be the same!

We all have the ability to do something today. Doing does not need special skills, it just takes courage to do whatever it is. For me I would never select climbing a mountain, bunging jumping or anything that has to do with heights or extreme excursion. What I might select is mindfulness, allowing my senses to experience the touch of the computer, my conversations through podcast, and the modified discomfort I am in 9 weeks post-accident. I am lucky that I was healthy to heal from the accident/fall and now even with a bit of a limp I CAN DO!

When I chose to coach, I also knew it was I Could Do/Wanted to Do/ and I am doing it. I’m a realist and although I can dream, I am steady on my feet looking for the next opportunity to come my way, turning obstacles into welcoming open arms.

There are some worldwide that may read this WORD who may be experiencing traumatic issues in life caused by health, or by mother nature. Even at our bleak moments we have the opportunity to turn things around. The word for day does not imply it’s easy…but it provides us the pathway to move forward and live for today!

The word of the Day is Fuzzy

Now what do you think of when you hear the word FUZZY? Warm and cuddly like a soft blanket or your favorite stuffed animal from childhood. Or does it mean the pilling of your favorite sweater that once looked nice and now it is full of nubs and fuzz? Today what It means to me is feeling a bit out of it, not lonely but feeling alone.

There is a difference between being lonely and alone. Yesterday even with Rich in the house I felt alone, the two of us were spending the day doing what we each wanted to do and did not need the approval of anyone else. We were not quite two ships passing in the night, because when we passed, we acknowledged each other knowing that it is OK to share space but not be 100% engaged with others in your space.

Today is different, it’s a Sunday and Rich has an assignment at work that is scheduled from 4 pm – midnight or longer. Because his office is an hour plus away, he will be spending the night. Typically, Rich is home on Sunday’s, so I am feeling alone (not lonely). If Rich were home, I am not sure our day would be any different from yesterday, however when our ships pass it gives us the opportunity to be together. The challenge for today is taking this occasion and enjoying the time I have to myself. One of those opportunities is writing this blog without feeling as if I must explain what I am doing.

Although Rich does not ask why I am doing what I am doing, as his wife, partner, and someone who enjoys spending time with her husband, I often feel as if I must provide a reason…something that I need to rethink. (I need to rethink it because I find myself feeling angry for justifying my actions, especially when not asked.)

I have shared in my blogs and the word of the day blogs, that participating in “Positive Intelligence” has made me confront myself in the areas I want to change. One of those traits is the harsh self judgement in my life. We all have a judge within us that comes out when we begin to question why we are doing something or why we are not. When you share space with someone, a parent, siblings, roommate, spouse, children, etc., many of us feel as if we must have an explanation to limit or prevent their judgement. (We have no control over what others think or say!)

The Fuzziness I am feeling today is enjoying my alone time but missing the comfort of having my husband at home. I am feeling that tug and pull, as the weather clears up, I could go out to pool and exercise and relax with no demands on my time or can sit her at my desk and work. The work I am choosing to do today is to fulfill my need for accomplishment. I have a personal need, task, goal each day to feel accomplished. My need for accomplishment varies day to day, it may be work, it may be play, it may be taking a day to do nothing and smell the roses.

Today I am spending a portion of time navigating my need for accomplishment. Why do I feel that it is important to complete certain tasks? Let me begin with a typical day:

I have a need to make our bed each morning within a small window of time from awakening. It is important for me to have a bedroom that is clean with little to no clutter and that the bed is inviting at the end of the day.
All laundry needs to be in the laundry basket in the laundry room and if I have the allotted time to put together a load of laundry.
Preparing breakfast for my husband and I usually consist of a banana and muffin or pastry for him and ice coffee for me with a muffin or toasted bagel.
Clean up after breakfast and make sure all dishes are in the dishwasher and all trash is thrown out.
Most days this allows me alone time to shower and dress for the day ahead.
Check email and answer important messages and prioritize all other mail by deleting what is junk.
Currently two mornings a week I go to Physical Therapy but everyday I spend recording or preparing a podcast as well as connecting with my clients.
Take time each day for social media for the business…
Recording podcasts and listening to other podcasts for ideas and guests…
End of day preparing dinner for my husband and I taking into consideration we are both watching our calorie and sugar intake (also I like fish he doesn’t!)
Cleaning up is a learned trait my mother never allowed us to leave dishes in the sink or the strainer. I do the clean-up and my husband helps, however I am faster on the trigger than him, so I do most of it.

At the end of the day, I feel accomplished and successful if I can check this list off in my head. If I do more in a day that is a plus and it makes me feel good.

I have never been on a vacation that was not connected to work…I would love to go to a warm sunny island and do nothing, but the truth is, I would be miserable doing nothing!

Word for today is SELFCARE

No, I am not talking about being selfish – although for many like me, we have not listened to our own needs and we have created a selfish rhythm, looking out for everyone else before putting on our oxygen mask.

As a little girl I remember my mother telling me to be nice to my brothers. It was ok if they tormented and teased me – according to my momma – that meant they liked me and loved me. That was the beginning of a very bad pattern I created for myself moving forward…I believed that if I acknowledged you and assisted you in anyway you would like me (or in some situations love me.) It took me well into my 50s to realize that this was not working for me.

I remember in high school having many male friends only to help them win dates with my girlfriends. My mother thought I was popular until she learned the truth on New Years 1968. As I sat crying my eyes out that day, I shared with her how many of those phones (all of them) were my guy friends needing my assistance in getting a date for New Year’s Eve of our senior year. And although I had started dating someone just a month or two prior, he had already asked someone out for New Year’s Eve and did not feel he could cancel his date.

Now you would have thought I would have learned a lesson from all this but no, I still heard my mother’s voice that being nice/kind/caring and all those other cliché’ words would make me feel happy. Momma was wrong. I kept beating myself up and asking would it be my turn?

10 years ago, I started seeing the light for the first time. I was on medical leave from work and while on medical leave I had a secondary medical issue that extended my leave. The friends I thought I had at work did not call or check in with me. I felt disserted and began falling into depression. When I was able to return to work three months later, I felt as if I was being treated as a stepchild. When someone needed help, they didn’t ask me, they just put the extra work on my desk. Although I had created a situation for myself that I would do whatever was given to me, I kept getting more and more of the hand-me-downs and I became overwhelmed!

Leaving my corporate job, loving my role and my interactions with student made me happy, the culture was killing me from the inside out. When it was brought to my attention that maybe I had overstayed my welcome, I was encouraged to take Medical Leave again and forced out the door. My depression became acute, and I recognized I needed to change. I could not expect others to change to make me feel whole and happy again. It was on or about January 0f 2013 that I chose to stop being Selfish to my needs and create some Selfcare. I was not OK with being depressed and anxious and no pill was going to find the answers. I worked at it – taking self-help courses online and blogging. I chose to find the little girl who was told to be nice to others and tell her to be kind to herself.

Selfcare includes creating boundaries and although I still have a difficult time drawing lines in the sand, I acknowledge that I still have work to do. I cannot blame someone for stepping over the line if I welcome them. However, through Positive Intelligence training I am learning that it is often easier to positively tell someone that you need to take care of yourself first before taking care of them.

When I chose to hang up my virtual coaching sign (#YESICAN) it was another new beginning not just for me but for my clients. I can empathize with them and help them navigate to find the path that provides less resistance and better outcomes for the opportunities that lay ahead.

After my recent accident I had the choice of coming home from the hospital and finding a method to receive the Physical Therapy I need or to go to a Rehab Center. I went directly to Rehab because I knew I had to give myself the opportunity to gain additional tools to use in my Selfcare. Currently I am having therapy 2 times a week and getting strong in body, mind, and spirit. PT is not fun, many of the exercises add pain to my existing pain. However, if I want to feel well again, I must continue to work through the pain seeing the bright sunshine at the end. That is the same for coaching. Often as we move forward and take a different pathway the newness, the strangeness, and sometimes loneliness may signal for us to turn around and go back. However, going back will not resolve the problem and the obstacles will continue to block us until we slay them, just like Don Quixote.

These lyrics ring true to me. My father was a man like Don Quixote.

“To dream … the impossible dream …

To fight … the unbeatable foe …

To bear … with unbearable sorrow …

To run … where the brave dare not go …

To right … the unrightable wrong …

To love … pure and chaste from afar …

To try … when your arms are too weary …

To reach … the unreachable star …

This is my quest, to follow that star …

No matter how hopeless, no matter how far …

To fight for the right, without question or pause …
To be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause

This is my quest, to follow that star …

No matter how hopeless, no matter how far …

To fight for the right, without question or pause …

To be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause …

For more information on scheduling a Coaching Session please email me at:

newclevelandradio@gmail.com

In the subject line put: #YESICAN

The Word for Today is Hopefulness

Hopefulness, a word that is explained using the word to define it! “Having qualities that inspire hope” or “Full of hope!” When broken down hope is a desire for something to be received (or happen).

An example of hopefulness may be the anticipation of a new job. Another example may be that you are hopeful that the weather will be sunny and bright!

If we can wake up each day with the ability to appreciate what lies ahead of us with hopeful anticipation, we may limit the disappointments that veer us off our path. We may be praying, wishing, and hoping that the new job we want (hopeful of receiving) becomes ours. However, if it does not come to fruition, we must see the silver lining in the outcome. This is not an easy path to follow as the voices in our head bombard us with the negative talk. Today more than ever before, many of the things we hope for may not be in our reach. We need to reach out and continue to stretch ourselves outward as we look for the next opportunity with a hopeful mindset.

Wishing to win the lottery is something many dream of. To win we must first buy a ticket.

“In a lottery in which you pick 6 numbers from a possible pool of 49 numbers, your chances of winning the jackpot (correctly choosing all 6 numbers drawn) are 1 in 13,983,816. That’s 1 shot in almost 14 million. If you were to buy one lottery ticket each week in such a scenario, you could expect to win once every 269,000 years.” It may be wiser to use our wishes in a more practical way…

Not only am I hopeful for great things to come my way, but I am also willing to put in the work to create them. I have learned that when I put in the effort to reach for the stars what I gather along the way tends to be valuable and appreciated.

Word for the Day is Vienna

When you hear the word Vienna what comes to mind? I think of this romantic place in Europe where the beauty of the past mingles with the present as well as progresses into the future.

Vienna, Austria where the history goes back in time to The Roman Empire. It is the home of famous composers Haydn, Mozart, Beethoven, and Schubert.

However, that is not what I think of or see, instead Vienna, Ohio, just outside of Warren, Ohio, and this is where my husband works. Traveling from our home to work, Rich drives through The Center of the World, Ohio. (Center of the World is an unincorporated community in far eastern Braceville Township, Trumbull County, Ohio, United States. It consists of several houses and a few retail establishments centered at the crossroads where State Routes 82 and 5 diverge. Wikipedia)

According to my husband Vienna, Ohio is not the tourist attraction like Vienna, Austria. Driving through the Center of the World, as noted above, is a one blink town.

There are 17 Vienna’s in the United States

Vienna – West Virginia
Vienna – Virginia
Vienna – Texas
Vienna – South Dakota
Vienna – Ohio
Vienna – North Carolina
Vienna – New York
Vienna – New Jersey
Vienna – Missouri
Vienna – Michigan
Vienna – Maryland
Vienna – Maine
Vienna – Louisiana
Vienna – Indiana
Vienna – Illinois
Vienna – Georgia
Vienna – Alabama

So today when I think of Vienna, I will be channeling and connecting with my husband because mobile communication does work there, and we are in 21^st Century!

The Word for the Day YES

Say YES to yourself. Find the courage to throw your hands up in the air and feel the victory in finding YOU! Know when not to say YES – It is not selfish to put yourself first – to be selfish =

Concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself: seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.

Arising from concern with one’s own welfare or advantage in disregard of others.

The Word for the Day is MOVEMENT

If I am moving life is good. I got up and walked down to the kitchen where I proceeded to make my iced coffee for the day.

At 4:45 am when my alarm went off on my phone, I walked upstairs to remind my husband it was time for him to rise and shine for work.

At 6:15am I made breakfast for my husband, and I warmed up a muffin for him and a cinnamon roll for myself (the cinnamon roll did not agree with my stomach!)

At 6:45 am I kissed my husband goodbye wishing him a good day.

I proceeded to the living room where I sat down to watch the last segment of The Diplomat. I hope they continue with the story!

By 9 am I was showered and dressed, put a load of laundry in the washer (and that damn cinnamon roll is still wreaking havoc with my stomach!)

Since my daily/business computer is at Geek Squad getting setup again due to some errors in the original setup, I am working on my previous computer, which is not as nice as my Samsung i7 EVO…

Now, back to the word of the day. I believe it is important for all of us, despite any disabilities we have we can find something in our being to move. Your legs, arms, eyes, mouth, and for those that can, wiggle your ears. It may even be the thought of movement and getting your brain thinking and creating. With movement we can make what looks like a grey and cloudy day into a day of sunshine. Look out at the clouds and know on the other side of the grey sky is that big yellow ball of fire we call the sun.

When my internal alarm clock goes off, I get up and move around. I can always find something that needs to be completed and that just might include Netflix. Making that first move of the day is your way of welcoming new beginnings. Each day is a gift we receive and it is up to us to make it our best.

Word for the Day is Confusion

Have you ever noticed that your way of explaining something or learning something new is different than how others perceive the same information? I have been struggling over some directions for a project I am working on. The documentation is 100 pages plus and yet there is this quick guide that is one page long however it is not complete – except for a small portion of the project. And the information in the additional 99 plus pages is poorly written and the screen shots provided are not exactly the same as what you will encounter when attempting the project. Yes I say attempting because I have not been able to get a large portion of this assignment completed and or correct.

Every time I ask for help, and yes I am asking (not too proud), I get a lot of verbiage that is not answering my questions confusing me further. So today I tried again and reached out to the lead on the project who masterly confused me and without suggesting that I go to page 30 and follow the directions up to page 40 that I will be successful, however that it was I have garnered from his Gobble -D Gook!

I don’t mind making mistakes if I can learn from them however, when the instructions are not clear and you guess at each step – well that is Confusing and Frustrating, but I will leave the word at CONFUSING.

I love to bake and using a cookbook is the best way to learn to cook and bake. A well-written cookbook will identify the ingredients you need to complete the project.

Then it will provide instructions that may state – add 1 cup of butter into the mixing bowl. Add 1 cup of sugar with the butter run the electric mixer on medium to high and allow the butter and sugar to look smooth and creamy. Each step tells you what to add, how to add it/mix-it as well as describe the consistency. If you don’t like to follow instructions learning how to cook and bake may not be the activity for you, but it can teach you how to follow instructions.

Instructions should be laid out simply for the first time user and as you repeat the instructions over time you will also learn how to add your personal touch, taking a short cut it needed or wanted.

When we become confused, confusion can lead to frustration, frustration to anger, as well as poor self judgement on our abilities. Life need not be filled with misunderstandings and together we need to learn to communicate with each other and that begins with listening and not assuming.

The next time you are feeling confused step back, avoid the maze but looking around and looking for the clues that brought you to the place of uncertainty. Sometimes the clear answer is in front of us and all we need to do is step away and look at it from another angle and sometimes that includes asking for HELP!

Word for the Day is Home

Today I traveled with my husband for an assignment in the Detroit area. Last week when he accepted this assignment the weather was warm and balmy in Cleveland, today when we left at 9 am it was rainy, windy, foggy, and cold. Arriving in the Detroit it is icy, flurries, cold and slippery. What should have been a 3 hour trip between weather and construction took 6 hours. Upon arriving he was told I could not assist him as the bank to not authorize me. I was planning on meeting up with our friend Dennis after the assignment but now I am sitting in a Starbucks while Rich goes off to his assignment. Dennis is meeting up with me and I am sure when Rich finishes this project he will be exhausted. Luckily, we did get a room for the night …

The word HOME has many different meanings for me. I was born in Detroit and lived here until I was 14 years-old, we lived in St. Louis Park, MN, for four years and I returned to the Detroit area (Oak Park) for the last three months of my senior year, living here until I got married (to husband 1) in 1971. Detroit is home because my parents and grandparents lived here and are residing at Machpelah Cemetery in Ferndale, Michigan. Great grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and my baby niece Laurie are laid to rest there as well.

I have lived in the Cleveland area the majority of my life and although it is where my home is my heart is still here with my Bagley School Mates, many of us are connected through Facebook despite the city, state or country we may be residing in. I have cousins in the area as well as friends who are my surrogate family met through youth group 60 yeas ago. (How can that be I don’t feel like I am about to turn 73 this Saturday.)

Home to me is where I share my heart. To my classmates and youth group friends in Minnesota, I am grateful for our Facebook connection as well and many of you have taken a piece of my heart and I feel blessed. One such friend is Carol Wexler Kalnow, who now lives in Ohio, small world!

Home is also in Chicago, Fort Worth, Southern California, and Saratoga Springs…My children, brothers and their families are a significant part of my life and purpose. Purpose is the reason for taking the steps towards the future. Purpose gives us hope and allows us to set a direction and timeline. Purpose is the Reason we choose to be self-aware. With purpose comes intention and the intention is ours. Being home whether in my physical house or with the people who provide me purpose, happiness regains in my heart.

Word of the Day is Appreciation

To truly appreciate something or someone it is important that you are mindful. If you just begun reading my Word for the Day page, please note as a human with flaws, I do not write or post daily. I am working to add this to my daily tasks, however; some days I just don’t feel like writing, or I allow myself to become hijacked by other thoughts, situations, and individuals.

The training I took through Positive Intelligence this past summer and continue to work on in a small group weekly chat has opened doors for me, some of which I did not realize were closed. I love the fact that by listening to our brain we are Happy, Sad, or teeter tottering between the too. Sometimes SAD is so far down into a black hole it feels as if we will never see the light of day again (depression/anxiety). Even happiness can be negatively perceived as we question all the Whys, Shoulda, and Coulda’s. However, this 6-week training and the continued discussion within a small group setting has opened my eyes. (There is a big beautiful world in front of me and I can learn to enjoy it!)

The Judge is often our own thinking, hearing the voices from years past, like in the cartoons of the 50s with the Devil (Negative Voices) on one shoulder and the Angel (Positive Voices) on the other. When we are mindful, we can listen and choose what path we want to take. The opposite is true when we allow the negative chatter to dominate our thoughts. Unlike a therapy session, this group coaching practice on Positive Intelligence may be the answer for so many of us who shut ourselves off. (Since taking the course I have learned so much about myself, the most important thing is I have a voice.)

When the word Appreciation came into my realm of thinking today, I believe it was because I have chosen to be mindful. Mindfulness allows me to see and hear and evaluate my thoughts and decisions. When my thoughts are mine, and not those of others around me or past negative thoughts still in my head; that is when Appreciate my capabilities of being right or wrong as I navigate down the path of my choice.

I have a lot to APPRECIATE, life may have it’s ups and downs but when you allow yourself to venture for those UP Moments….

The Word of the Day is two Words, I CAN!

I have a history of saying “I Can’t” but every time someone needs help I don’t stop to think if I CAN OR I CAN’T, I volunteer! This has caused me nightmares and some harm along the way because I was not taught that we learn from our failures, so I always had to find away at minimum complete the task at hand.

Let me provide a quick story. I have been working as a training, sales support, product influencer for almost 6 years. Recently I was told of an additional project I could lend my time to (and get paid) I chose to jump in head first. After feeling like a failure due to the many hardware and software issues I encountered I chose to quit. However, with in a week I ask the lead on the project if I could come back. I chose to return because I noted something in the project documentation that indicated many of the problems I was facing were not issues for me to deal with and I was to concentrate on what I could do, not on what I couldn’t do. Now this is not my attitude in life. It is important for me to do a task well and see it through completion.

Last week I returned to this assignment and I concentrated on what I could accomplish and not what I couldn’t. I took the initiative to document the information to explain why certain tasks were not completed/ not ignored/ but observed for a future remedy.

With this mindset I am not going into the project feeling defeated and if fact when I walk out now I am proud of what I can do. I had to remind myself I am only human and I have a variety of skill sets. It is important to be self-aware. I need not make excuses and it is not about right or wrong it’s being able and confident to see the glass half-full.

For me gaining confidence began with listening to the people around me and choosing who complimented my needs and who didn’t. I realized that I had a circle of people that included too many negative thinkers and that enhanced my poor self-image. Over the last two years I have been treated for an autoimmune condition and the medication blew me up like a big balloon. When I looked in the mirror and stood on the scale I wanted to cry but I had to accept that this was temporary and it was important to treat the disease. I found that I had to focus on other “things” that I saw in my reflection. I focused on my eyes, my hair that I’ve been growing out and I wore clothing that had some camouflaging results if only in my eyes.

I began looking inside and bringing out what was meaningful to me and when necessary prepared by asking questions and asking for help.

When I chose these two words for today, I saw myself, just like Marlo Thomas in “That Girl” finding her reflect on the Marque in NYC; and Mary Tyler Moore, smiling and twirling and throwing her hate in the air. To be confident is to be yourself, the one you love.

The Word of the Day is ME

The word ME is not a selfish word, even if the subject is about thinking about ME! How often do we take care of our personal needs, not including:

Brushing our teeth, taking a shower, dressing appropriately in clean cloths, and starting the day with a cup of coffee.

When do we go above and beyond the routine, taking a moment to breath in, hold, and release to remove the toxins in our mind and body? When do we allow ourselves a few more moments of sleep/rest before taking care of someone else? When do we stop and look, and listen for the beat of our heart? And when do we stop listening to the voices in our head that say, “NO”, “CAN’T”, “STOP”, or “Who the Fuck do you think you are?”

When did I buy-in to the bullshit that helping everyone else was my purpose in life while putting myself last?

When did I last look in the mirror without seeing, fat, ugly, and stupid?

In 2006 I accepted a job from a private college as a High School Presenter. It was my job to go to local high schools and talk to 11^th and 12^th graders about the importance of a college degree and hopefully signup at the college for which I worked. I love presenting and answering their questions honestly and my success at the college led to a full-time recruiter. I was good at my job and within a year it was my career. However I was feeling like a fraud working at a college and only having an Associates Degree. In 2008 I took a year of online Educational Credit courses convincing myself I could study, learn and retain so why not finish my degree. In the Fall of 2008 my youngest son was a Freshman in College, my husband re-enrolled to complete his Degree and move on to a Masters, and I did the same. This is the third time in my life I took a leap forward for ME!

The first was my divorce in 1978, scared shitless and alone, I knew I was not happy, I felt unloved by my husband, and I need to escape.

The second time was meeting my current and last husband, and picking up and moving into his circle, I needed a new start. (40+ years ago)

In the Fall of 2009 I was convinced I could manage college, work, family, and whatever was thrown at me and began my journey to a Bachelor’s degree and a Master’s License in the field of Communications.

Until recently I may have said I did these three things but I was selfish. Divorce was not easy on me but caused problems for my oldest son. Meeting my current and last husband, moving to his city with my oldest son but I did it despite the consequences that came with it. Receiving my degree often meant that some of the tasks I did at work and home suffered a bit, but I always found a way to pick up the pieces.

Since my youngest son’s diagnosis in 1996 of being on the Spectrum (at that time it was called Asperger’s, today it is now as on the Spectrum,) I became his advocate trying to slay dragons and often get burned by their angry fire. Even today as he is navigating life in a city that feels strange, and loving his new job (career) and the accolades that come with it, I find that the ME I want to be gets diminished with his needs (as well as others).

In a perfect world I would not feel as if I was being pulled in directions I do not want to travel, and yet I am the only one who has the chose to take another path. This is my journey, and my journey includes the interruptions from people I care about and for. It is my choice when to say yes or no. I have learned that I am not making good choices when I am not mindful of my response.

I am not selfish; I am creating boundaries to keep ME safe. If I need time to take a nap, a walk, or listen to music, or say NO, it is to provide me with the strength I need to keep moving forward. I am the only one who decides if I am Happy or Sad.

There may be someone who is trying to take a piece of me for their needs and it is important that I am self-aware and choose ME!

When I choose ME, I will consider if you may walk the path along side of ME.

The Word of the Day is Music

There has always been music in my life. My father was a would be poet lyricist and he was forever producing something for someone’s birthday, or mitzvah of any kind. My dad was even ballsy enough to send a poem to President Richard Nixon and to President Jimmy Carter. He may have written to others but those two I remember well, and wondered what they thought of, Words by Harmon.

I chose the word music because of my relationship with the many sounds that speak to my heart.

What is the true meaning of music?

music. noun. mu·sic ˈmyü-zik.: the art of producing pleasing or expressive combinations of tones especially with melody, rhythm, and usually harmony.

When I was younger I could carry a tune and singing and swaying to music brought me happiness. I would often close my eyes and dream of performing on stage, or dancing with my Prince Charming in the most Romantic Way. I was part of Glee Club all the way through 12^th Grade, and I considered taking a music performance class in college, but I got cold feet. I was diagnosed with thyroid disease when I was 20 years old and I have sub total removal of my thyroid gland in 1970. As I was recuperating from surgery I went through a voice change and learned that my vocal cords were nicked and my voice and range were impacted by it. Although I didn’t think much of it over the years when I have tried to sing the notes I could hit early on are just not available to me. Possibly if I been treated by a voice specialist I might be singing in and out of the shower.

However, when I know I am not irritating others I sing/ especially alone in my car. Music is the medicine that sooths me and directs me to see things/life more clearly.

Today I was honored to have Lauren Taslitz and Danny Ursetti on my podcast, to very talented writers and producers of music. I shared with them that I grew up in a home that played records and I watched my mother and father dance in the living room to music of Como, Sinatra, Mathis, and more. My brother Joel has been in the music industry as a performer, engineer, producer, writer, etc., for most of his life. My oldest son manages music groups (mostly alternative music), and my youngest has performed, as well as writes lyrics to the sounds playing in his head interrupted by other fellow musicians who assemble it as one piece.

And while I was podcasting, Burt Freeman Bacharach an American composer, songwriter, record producer, and pianist passed away at the age of 94. He lived a good life, a long life, and he left behind music that will be part of our tapestry.

As I age I am more aware of the talent that has left this sweet earth and I kindle those memories to keep their spirit alive. Tonight, the lyrics, “What the World Needs Now is Love, Sweet Love!” plays in my head – I heard the melody and Burt’s expertise at the piano… I pray his beautiful music will provide us a path of goodness and begin turning our lives around so we can experience Love in our World.

The moment I wake up Before I put on my makeup I say a little prayer for you While combing my hair, now And wonder what dress to wear, now I say a little prayer for you Forever, forever, you’ll stay in my heart And I will love you Forever, and ever, we never will part Oh, how I’ll love you Together, together, that’s how it must be To live without you Would only mean heartbreak for me I run for the bus, dear While riding I think of us, dear I say a little prayer for you At work, I just take time And all through my coffee break-time I say a little prayer for you Forever, forever, you’ll stay in my heart And I will love you Forever, and ever, we never will part

Oh, how I’ll love you Together, together, that’s how it must be To live without you Would only mean heartbreak for me I say a little prayer for you I say a little prayer for you Forever, forever, you’ll stay in my heart And I will love you Forever, and ever, we never will part Oh, how I’ll love you Together, together, that’s how it must be To live without you Would only mean heartbreak for me My darling, believe me For me there is no one, but you Please love me, too I’m in love with you Answer my prayer Say you love me, too. Why don’t you answer my prayer? You know, every day I say a little pra

The Word for the Day is TRY!

I cannot promise anyone, including myself that what I have on my schedule, my path for today will be achieved. As we all know and have experienced life comes with little surprises, it’s the bleeps on the radar that can take us off the track; walking in circles trying to find our way or taking the fork in the road that may not lead to the destination we thought we were aiming for.

On my podcast, Avoid the Maze, I have referenced on a number of the shows that as a young girl, age 9 -13, I pictured myself getting married one day and living down the street from parents. I clearly saw my husband and children having dinner at my parent’s house every Friday night, and on Sundays they would come to my home for brunch, bagels and lox galore. I identified with that plan until I was 14 years old and my family moved to Minneapolis. The pictures in my head changed over the years, and if I am honest they continue to, that is what living is all about.

Each day I wake up with some form of a plan, my work schedule and my husband’s are noted on our work calendar which prepares me for day, week, and month. Even though they may be recorded as important, or need to do, or want to do, they may not be completed if we change our paths.

Have you ever taken a walk through the park, and I choose the shortest path, you know if you TRY the shortest path, you will be successful. However, along the way you see something to your left and turn in that direction as you TRY to locate the ‘item’ that distracted you[1]. Sometimes what we thought we saw never appears again and now it is up to us to try to determine if this is the right path or not. If it’s not, what can we learn along the way. You’ve heard the expression, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” Each adventure even if it was considered wrong, finding a positive element means. ‘WE TRIED’.[2]

For the last couple of months I have wandered off my path, some days walking in circles and other days not moving at all. Hindsight has revealed to me that I intentionally made the choice to wander, and develop new milestones just by trying. The success I have witnessed is being less of a stickler, and onloading what I have called my OCD habits, to be less rigid and more mindful of my emotions.

All I can do is try to find the path that best suits me without the risk of loss for the people around me who may be surprised by the changes in my daily routines. I am trying to be more flexible and adaptable and enjoy the moments when I have nothing planned or turning something planned into something else. I have the choice[3] to feel free as the wind or to establish a task that is pleasing to me.

What Have you Tried Today?

[1] Is it a mirage -something that appears real or possible but is not in fact so.

[2] To try means to make an attempt – trying is not winning or losing!

[3] To make a selection

The Word of the Day is FRIEND

39 years ago today, Richard, my best friend and soul mate and I got married in Rabbi Isenberg’s office with Dave & Debbie Meredith standing up for us (although at the time it was a secret). The marriage in the Rabbi’s study was planned by Rich and I as the court date to secure being my oldest son’s (Steve) primary legal guardian was scheduled for the following week. The family therapist and my attorney both agreed in 1984 that going to court married would be an added benefit for retaining custody in the Cleveland area.

The following week when we went to court – the judge approved that the custody arrangements remain as they were and Steve would continue to live with us as his primary home. Did we need to get married? No! But we did, because we loved each other, and we were (and still are) best friends. On that rainy Friday morning, February 3, 1984, Rich was not in love with me, and I did not want to get married to retain custody. I wanted the Judge to approve the status quo because Rich and I were providing him with a happy home.

Once the court session was over and the status did not change – Rich and I began talking of having a wedding and inviting friends and family to join in our love and friendship. We began seeking venues and ideas for another service and reception. Unlike many couples at the time we chose to do everything on our own from the venue, food choices flowers, photography as well as my dress and the blue contacts he got so I would look at eyes and see a deep blue and magic would happen. (It turns out Rich had a difficult time with the contacts and they were worn one time prior to the wedding and never again.)

We asked Rabbi Cherise to marry us as Rich and I formed a bond with her at the Temple and she led the conversion classes I attended with Rich, although I asked him not to convert, which he did not. Our love has nothing to do with religion.

In July on or about the 15^th of the month I will write about our second wedding. What you should know about wedding number one, is that we went into giving each other permission to end our relationship as Rich continued to say he loved me but he was not IN LOVE WITH ME.

Even on July 15^th as we said our “I Do’s”, what may have been missing in love was secure with compassion and friendship.

So why did we get married twice well I think it was to show family and friends and ourselves that this relationship was meant to be. We have been through some lows and found ourselves challenged to the point of frustration, but we have never given up. Our marriage is the one thing that Rich and I know we can count on. We have accepted that we may not agree and we may get angry but in the end we kiss and make-up. Rich was not and is not my Knight in Shining Armor. He is the part of me that has completed my Whole!

The Word of the Day is APPRECIATION

In July of 2022 Rich was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. He was told he was in the very beginning stages (1 or 2) of the disease, and he could wait to see if it stabilized or have it treated. Treatment could be AGGRESSIVE, or PINPOINT RADIATION 5 days a week for 9 weeks would non-evasive. We chose the RADIATION, as we both wanted to ensure that the CANCER Treatment would do its work, KILLING the CANCER.

Today Rich went for his first check-up, Radiation Concluded on January 6^th. He took a PSA test on Thursday and today he met with his Urologist. His PSA prior to Radiation was 4.1, today it is 1.7 and dropping. His level should be blow 1.0 within 6 – 12 months of finishing treatment. (WE ARE APPRECIATIVE!)

[PSA levels under 4 ng/ml are generally considered normal, while levels over 4 ng/ml are considered abnormal. PSA levels between 4 and 10 ng/ml indicate a risk of prostate cancer higher than normal. When the PSA level is above 10 ng/ml, risk of prostate cancer is much higher.]

We are Appreciative for Rich’s Doctor for providing the guidance for the treatment and to the Cancer Center for treating him and providing him with positive energy. Waking up at 4 am to get to the Center by 6:30 am for nine weeks was worth it when we received the good news today!

To all our friends and family please take your health options seriously. I know that sometimes we choose to ignore symptoms and believe no news is good news. The truth in knowing what is or isn’t allows us to make choices. Rich had a variety of choices to treat or not treat his Cancer. Together we took the time to review his options and make a choice.

Rich’s younger brother also had prostate cancer. His was not caught early, and his only choice was radical surgery. His brother had additional health issues that led to his early death this past December. Rich and his brother Dave were total opposites. Richard has always been proactive with his health where David chose to ignore his medical history.

Today I am Appreciative that Rich and I can continue to plan and play and continue to make memories together. We know there are NO GUARANTEES, but we continue to make choices to keep us healthy and together!

The Word of the Day is BELIEVE

I remember a quote I learned penned by Theodore Hetzel, “If you will it, it is no dream.” This quote was directed at the founding of Israel as the Jewish Homeland. Although my belief mays not be as lofty as my ancestors wanting a land to identify with, my wishes may be and unless I believe I can obtain them they may slip through my fingers.

If you believe in a peaceful world and dream of the many ways this could become a reality it begins with the will to make the first step. Don’t wait for someone else, begin the journey and others will follow. Sometimes we need to set the pace. And if you believe and no one follows, let me take their path while you are honest with your beliefs.

I have shared that when I was younger I didn’t have the self confidence that I embody today. I grew up in a community where it appeared to me that someone (everyone) was better than me. Because I assumed I wasn’t worthy I created my own sadness while believing someone else was causing my tears. It’s not unusual for pre-teens/teens/and young adults to compare themselves to others and identify with being less of a person. Our society has encouraged those thoughts selling images rather than authentic values.

Well today I am not as influenced as I once was with the media, social as well as through advertisement. Today I tend to use my brain to filter through the other beliefs and weight the situation. The more accurate information I obtain will provide me the awareness and step through the process. To believe does not ALWAYS lead to the pot of gold. We may have a vision and believe in the process and the end results, however not all pots are equal.

Someone suggested to me she once had a goal to own a Ferrari, however what was important to her than is no longer. Today she wants to drive a Ferrari around the racetrack, and she believes she can and will. When her dream/goal was to own a Ferrari, she had no plan to achieve it. Her plan to drive the Ferrari begins in her network and she is taking one step/contact at a time. She is a believer and so am I.

The Word of the Day is BLAH

There is nothing wrong but today is what I call a BLAH Day. Nothing ‘bad’ has occurred in fact I wish for a day like this often and yet when it comes about I feel like something is missing when in fact it’s a day where I don’t have to do anything, and yet my brain keeps trying to tell me to do something, something productive. I know we all need down time, to get out of the hamster cage and slow down. However, I have programmed myself to believe that busy equals a step up the ladder to success.

The word success means to complete a task; accomplish an item towards your goal/purpose. My goal and purpose for today was to be laid back, so if I feel BLAH is that a bad thing, or a positive manifestation for today.

The word BLAH refers to something boring or without meaning and yet I am not truly bored and my life has meaning…So why then do I feel out of sorts?

I know why! My parents laid the groundwork for busy and even my father’s daily naps were part of the routine. Back in the day before cellphones and my mother planned her day around working, shopping, cooking, and phone calls. After dinner my mom had her routine of calls to her sister Annie, (some days she added her sister Jean), her girlfriends were called as well and it may have been Rosie one night, Blanche the other, and Sylvia the next. Occasionally her busy schedule include a Maj night out or a meeting with one of the many organizations she was actively involved in. At least one night a week you would catch my mother at her sewing machine until 11 pm or midnight, completing an outfit for herself, me, or one of friends or family members who requested something new. My dad’s busy began getting up early in the morning to be first in the bathroom and prepare for work. For many years his busy time came after he dressed for work and before his morning coffee. He would Davin (saying the morning prayers to G-D, the divinity.) Dad’s was mapped out that even his after to dinner nap was part of his schedule.

Just because my parents were SOOOOOOOO busy, I have finally accepted that keeping yourself active and engaged in things that provide you the positive energy to enjoy your life, is the key to happiness. When we add tasks to our list that provide us with little to no energy, we find ourselves associated BLAH with something negative and it doesn’t have to be…

As I sit here writing about my word of the DAY I am enjoying the memories flashing in front of my eyes of my mom still dressed from work and often still in her heels, sitting in the kitchen with the long telephone cord, as she chit chats with my Auntie Annie (Deja Vue’), I think I heard this conversation yesterday, and maybe the day before. I can visualize my Pops napping in ‘his’ recliner snoring softly while Dragnet or Wagon Train played on the TV. When dad woke he had time to answer our questions we may have about our homework or something that happened to us during the day. Part of his routine was to a bed time snack always prepared by his loving wife, my momma who would stop mid-stream on whatever she as doing , threw something yummy together.

So my BLAH has now turned to smiles and pictures filming in my head and reminding me that we are all busy in our own way walking towards our dream!

The Word of the Day (Feeling of the Day) Pressure

Although I have worked very hard on being mindful, and in touch with my physical, emotional, and mental health this week has been difficult for me. I have been explaining myself repeatedly to those around me (in my home) and those I work with (colleagues and clients) as well as friends and strangers in various locations I have been to. At one time I would blame this ANGST on the Grey Skies and Cold of a Cleveland Winter, and yet I refuse to do that because the feelings I have are not from Meteorological Cosmos.

Personal Intelligence has shown be that something is brewing, and I may or may not know why and if I want to change the state of this feeling, the word I have chosen for today, I need to tap into it and I hope this blog will lead me there.

I see in front of me many opportunities all coming with CHALLENGES that I wish were not there. However, since they are blocking my path, I have to find a way to slay them or turn them into opportunities.

I have recently learned that empathy, exploration, innovation, navigation, and, activate are the Sage Powers of Positive Intelligence – a 6 week course I have attended and I recommend highly.

The empathy must be for myself as well as for others so the connects I am making will have a combination of emotions (it is not one sided.)

It is time for me explore and process in ways I may have restricted myself from doing in the past. This means exploring what I know and what I am learning and find a path where the positive and negative meet to create a stronger thought process.

I can be innovated, I do not have to take the same road, journey that others may choose to follow. Mindfulness will provide with several paths (ideas) to follow, and this is my opportunity.

The tools I have gained along the way will allow me to navigate the path I am traveling down. It may not be easy, but the GPS will provide me with the chance to go forward or take the multi-prong fork in the road.

And with the knowledge I have I need to take this opportunity and activate it and see where it leads me.

There is not one outside force that is pressuring (maybe many that I have not connected to) me as I attempt to leap forward. I know we talk about baby steps but the baby steps I have been taking for months has not been positive and I must take the fork in the road and run, leap, at my pace. My activation sage will see me through the process as I proceed.

Today I announce freely that I am reaching out to the many Coaches I have worked with on Avoid the Maze, and the many individuals that have reached out to newclevelandradio.net thanking me (and my podcasters) for sharing information that has not only be enlightening but has allowed them to find more positivity in their daily life. Today is the day I offer up my services to be the COACH ADVOCATE I created. Please accept me into your circles, I will help connect you with a variety of coaches that I hope will fit your needs. I will do the vetting for the Coaches and help them streamline doing what they do best COACHING! What I do best is help you in seeking out the best coach for your current needs. Today I ask you to email me at newclevelandradio@gmail.com I will set up a time to meet with you over zoom and we will talk about coaching as well as your expectations. Let me assist you in becoming the person you want to be if you are struggling with the how’s and whys of change.

As the month of January is fading into the distance let’s choose to be our best and to live our lives with purpose.

YOU ARE MY PURPOSE. Let me take the pressure off you as we focus on the positive.

My Word of the Day is TIME!

How often have you said “I need more time to do this…” Have you wished that there was more then 24 hours in a day? Why is that some of us fill up our time often pushing ourselves over the edge?

I used to be envious of others who use a Day-Timer, or some form of calendar that captured all the To Do’s and What If’s in one holy grail of a book. When I began tracking what I perceived had to be accomplish each day, I felt as if I was on my way to SUCCESS. (Boy, was I wrong.)

My large (Maroon) Day-Timer held so much information that I felt I was in overload each day and my OCD tendencies required me to fill up my hours and not allow excuses to change my “Holy Grail”.

To be honest I was not able to accomplish all I planned in an 8- or 9-hours day and soon I was expanding my day to 12 hours putting in time to eat (usually on the GO) and to spend time with my husband and son. I was sure I was Super Women, the problem I had was I had no time to launder my CAPE.

Little did I know at the time I was creating not only bad habits, but also poor health issues. If I think my sleep pattern is poor now, it was worse. I kept my Day-Timer next to my bed and every time I woke up thinking of something I would write it down. Sometimes when I wrote it my brain was not functioning with my hand and the scribbled notes would take a chunk of my TIME each day to decipher it.

With Smartphones, laptops, and iPads, I became more enthralled with filling up my hours so I could show off to others how busy I was/am to prove I was on the path to Success, another word I will address soon.

As some of you may know specifically if you follow me on social media and or listen to the podcasts at newclevelandradio.net, I am working very hard at breaking the myths of Success. For instance, this weekend working my IT Sales/Support job, I had a goal to train a minimum of 8 employees during my 4-hour shifts at the store. Knowing that training is the last thing employees want to do, and management wants their staff to do, I chose to go in with the mindset that I could do this. Instead of adding it to my calendar, I accepted it was already on my calendar for my time at the store. Before proceeding with my task, accepting this was not an extra step I was adding to my workload. My approach was I am here to do this now and my attitude was I will do my best. I did not allow myself to be pressured as time ticked away on electronic watch as well as my laptop. Day 1 Saturday I was able to train 6 individuals, this meant that on Day 2, Sunday my goal was to train 2 or more and again I didn’t need more hours in the day because this task was included in my 4 four-hour shift. Day 2, not only did I train 3 staff members upon arrival, but I also trained an additional 5 (and all this with little effort except for a positive mindset.)

Last year I chose to start a new podcast at newclevelandradio.net, “Avoid the Maze”. At the same time, I joined Podmatch.com where I have met some wonderful coaches, mentors, podcasters, and podcast guest. In all my excitement I began booking podcasts that were filling up my days (and this also included the podcasts that are part of the newclevelandradio lineup. Additionally, I was recovering from some health issues, my husband was diagnosed with early-stage prostate cancer, and our son was moving out of state. My electronic calendar was constantly reminding me of one more thing I had to do…or did I?

June, July, and August, my favorite time of year is all a blur. I added to the mix a seminar series on, “Personal Intelligence”. I was so consumed with everything else on my plate I was not giving myself the opportunity to learn, or at least that is what I thought. However, I while continuing with ‘PI’ I realize that I was learning and using the techniques that are helping me make changes that enhance my ‘time’.

Personal Intelligence has provided me with a better understanding as to why I do things the way I do and to be more mindful of my actions and interactions with other people. I have been open to seeing what I may have been ignoring and possibly missing out on. Thinking more clearly and allowing myself ‘to change’ even though change can be intimidating.

One of the major changes I have chosen is to look at is my “time” in a more productive manner. My calendar does not need to be full, from the moment I get up until I lay my head on my pillow at night. It’s ok to have items/chores/tasks on my calendar but I must be willing to give myself the “OK” if I chose not to do something or move it to another day and time. It is about choosing when to say YES and when to say NO to myself.

My OCD tendencies have been my biggest challenge. Spending much of my life trying to be successful so other people would like me, has not worked. I have been a do it now person as well as constant volunteer and saying YES to prove I Can Do It! This behavior has worn me out and made me angry, because I was not taking the necessary breaths I needed. My oxygen mask was being used by everyone else except me.

Join me in learning how to use TIME wisely. Join me in learning how to enjoy the little successes and not dwell on the big ones. Today my biggest success may be writing this blog. If you were to look at my calendar, there will a number of other tasks to complete today – but I have a CHOICE!

Selfcare – self-care includes everything related to staying physically healthy — including hygiene, nutrition, and seeking medical care when …

Take a Nap
Eat Healthy
Exercise
Smile
Participate
Inclusion

These are just a few ideas as we begin 2023

WeRNotJustCleveland

NewCleRadio

WORD of the DAY 2023

Word of the Day was influenced by Gary Moss – https://just4thespellofit.com/word-of-the-day/

“By failing to prepare, you prepare to fail.” Benjamin Franklin

Today as I thought about my word of the day, I knew it was ENOUGH.

Contact me: yesican.ncr@gmail.com

The Word for the Day is MOVEMENT

Word for the Day is Confusion

Word for the Day is Home

Word of the Day is Appreciation

The Word of the Day is two Words, I CAN!

The Word of the Day is ME

The Word of the Day is Music

Burt Bacharach – I Say a Little Prayer© lyrics

The Word for the Day is TRY!

The Word of the Day is FRIEND

The Word of the Day is APPRECIATION

The Word of the Day is BELIEVE

The Word of the Day is BLAH

The Word of the Day (Feeling of the Day) Pressure

My Word of the Day is TIME!