Daily Comments 2020


Self Care




Life Is Not a Hallmark Movie





It’s Boxing Day




Thursday 12/24/20

Wednesday 12/23/20
Check this out  https://newclevelandradio.medium.com/i-am-amazing-are-you-b2f5e87b2b04






Tuesday 12/22/20





Monday 12/21/20





Sunday 12/20/20
I WISH YOU ENOUGH  https://youtu.be/fyzqk0thcec




Saturday 12/19/20




December 19, 2020
When one of our podcaster blogs we want to share the thoughts and wisdom they “Pontificate”.




December 18. 2020
Ten years ago plus, the beautiful and talented, Barbara Rose Brooker, established AGEMARCH.org.  Barbara has a vision like millions of us that AGE is not Just A NUMBER, and the NUMBER should not define us.  In fact, some people are old when they are young, and some are young when they are older.  AGEMARCH.org, Age Magnificently, be the person you want to be, and don’t let the number of birthdays you have celebrated stop you!  Celebrate each day and continue to evolve, and do it for yourself.

Please join Barbara and me on a virtual AGEMARCH Podcast coming to you on March 20, 2021.  As the month of March begins to blossom into Spring we along with the sponsors and committee members and various guests of honor some famous and some not so famous will provide the world with a message of vitality for all.  Please go to the website and join us.

**One day while podcasting with Barbara Rose Brooker, I suggested what about a virtual march?  Barbara snatched the concept and together we tried to put this together alone, but it takes a village and we are so happy to have the team that has developed.  Please take a moment to check out our team and let’s WALK the TALK together.  https://www.agemarch.org/bio

Her Name is Loretta










Tuesday 12/15/20




























December 7, 2020
As we age we change and that is part of the life experience.  Just think what happens in the nine months of gestation?  So why are we so surprised when we start to develop in our teens taking on characteristics that are very distinctively identified as male or female.  We continue to change throughout the years whether it be thinning hair, receding hairlines, crow’s feet developing around our eyes, and possibly grey speckles in our hair and that little pouch that used to be flat and taught.  It seems like it is an every lasting transformation that continues until the day we pass on.

Today I learned that I am in the beginning stages of osteoporosis. Osteoporosis is a  lack of calcium. Low calcium intake contributes to diminished bone density, early bone loss, and an increased risk of fractures. Eating disorders. Severely restricting food intake and being underweight weakens bone in both men and women.  (So what all this means I must-have treatment for it!)

To begin with, it was suggested by my physician that join “NOOM” to get myself on an eating plan that will enhance my wellness and slow down osteoporosis.

It was also recommended that I begin a medication regiment that I will take once a week for the next four to five years and have my situation re-evaluated at that time.  Some patients actually can reduce or reverse the medical condition with medication, diet, and exercise.

I will be following the guidance of my doctor who believes that this may truly enhance my life and emotional well-being.  I am looking forward to the positive alterations I will be making to my body, mind, and soul and it is just some lifestyle changes.

Many of us take life for granted and we accept what is – I refuse to give in to something that I may have the opportunity to change gaining healthier days ahead!

Growing up in Detroit, Michigan as well as spending four years of high school in the Minneapolis area (St. Louis Park to be exact,) I should be used to waking up on a cold December 1st morning to SNOW!  However, I would prefer a mild balmy day in the seventies with a lot of sunshine.  But, living in the Cleveland, Ohio area snow is part of the seasonal change whether I like it or not.  The initial look out of my bedroom and office windows the white snow was picturesque.  However, I also know with winter weather conditions the roads can be hazardous as many people driving to work or play do not take the precautions that they should.  I just turned off the news because all they are talking about are the numerous accidents on both the major freeways and back roads.  Working from home has its advantages and I know the newclevelandradio podcasters are happy we can do all of our shows remotely.  If needed I can close my curtains and believe I am in Sunny, Breezy, Beautiful Hawaii, or Fiji.

This past Sunday I recorded the first of many, “Lessons Learned” a new podcast that I am personally hosting.  I have chosen this theme of conversations to help all of us, including myself, to see the GOOD around us and to spin the goodness into the sunshine, just like the Miller’s Daughter in the story of Rumpelstiltskin.  The daughter’s father proclaimed she could spin hay into gold. Although as we all know it, it was not the daughter who had the talent to do such a thing, it was the little imp known as Rumpelstiltskin who spun hay into gold.  We too can make beauty out of something dried out and blah, it may be a challenge but challenges are gifts we can give ourselves finding achievement within.

Yesterday in a podcast hosted by Matt Jackson his two guests are prime examples of two women who have faced what could have been an obstacle and turned that obstacle upside down creating an opportunity that is leading to additional prospects.  Both Vicky DeRosa and Katherine Whitney opened my eyes to see beyond what is standing in front of me.  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8RLUbt6LX0&t=281s)

The snow outside today can be a problem for me, or I can turn it into an occasion to celebrate the beauty of nature and see beyond my dislike of the season.  In the 70 years of my life, I have lived in a city/state where there are four distinct seasons of the year with winter and summer being prevalent.  Although I would pick summer over winter I do not have that choice and so as my momma would say, “BUCK UP BUTTERCUP!”  (Ok you’re right my mother never said that but it sounds good!)

Today is a beautiful day to take the correct steps in the direction we want to follow.  Those steps need not be walking through the snow, or the sand, or up an incline; the steps we take begin from within our gut, that we sense in our heart and allow our brain to process.  Look beyond the snow and see what is available!







Happy Day before Thanksgiving!  My mother and father (more specifically my father) lived a life of being thankful for each day he lived and loved and cared for the people in his circle, family, friends, and acquaintances. My pops did not believe that we only give thanks one day of the year, known as the third Thursday in November.  In fact for many years – since 1934, except for 1975 & 77, as well as during WWII.  Although my father was a Detroiter and fan of the Lions it seemed to be a rarity for his home team to win and yet he was thankful for the entertainment and sportsmanship from the team.  Since I was a child that game played in the house whether my parent’s hosted Thanksgiving, or my Aunts Jean and Annie, or in the early days my Baube Freedman.  Today it remains a tradition in my home as well, bringing back beautiful memories and even the shouts at the TV from pops, my brothers, and numerous relatives.
Thanks should be given each day rain, shine, or even the aftermath of a storm.  Each day there is a positive note to create a beautiful harmony.  COVID has stricken our world and the anger, and sadness that it has caused is real, many of us including myself have known individuals who have either had a mild case or something more severe while they died alone or if lucky enough with loving caregivers by their side.  If nothing else this virus has taught me to live my life fuller and to appreciate each day while I find a silver lining.  I am blessed being married to my best friend, a life partner who I also LOVE.  Come February we will be married 37 years and together going on 40!  Ours is a marriage that many said would not work and yet it has and continues to.  That does not mean life is perfect and we do not have rainbows and lollipops every day.  Quite often we have sour patches that we turn into sweetness. IT IS NOT EASY BUT IT CAN BE DONE!
In my 70 years, I have been bullied, emotionally abused, and molested.  For almost 66 years I believed my mother and I had a love/hate relationship only to learn that I was wrong, we had a loving relationship, I just was blind to it, wanting and expecting more, and not able to see I had it all along!  Today I have no regrets because my past has brought me to the place I live in today, and although not perfect it is filled with love and kindness.

As the producer and host for newclevelandradio.net, I have had the opportunity to meet so many wonderful people.  It has been my mission in life to provide a hand to help and assist anyone in need, I on the other hand rarely ask for assistance, however, I have learned that for me to be strong and aide another, I too must learn to accept an extended hand.
For the last twenty-four hours, I have suffered from a migraine. I struggled through my day yesterday and last night I moaned and groaned with pain, reaching out to my husband for assistance.  The pain was so intense my body became weak as well as achy.  There were moments in the night I thought my migraine was much more and I feared what else it might be.  However, I gave myself the luxury to travel through the pain until it finally subsided, and now I am thankful as I take one small step forward.




November 13, 2020
WEAR A Fing Mask!
Arguments continue over wearing a MASK  to stop the spread of the COVID Virus.  There is a contingent of individuals who believe that the MASK MANDATE is a dictator mentality that forces ‘us’ to do something against our will/beliefs.  However, we have many laws that require us to adhere to socially acceptable rules.



  • “It is illegal to sell, serve, offer, or consume alcoholic beverages in public under the age of 18.”
  • “The minimum driving age is the minimum age at which a person may obtain a driver’s license to lawfully drive a motor vehicle on public roads. That age is determined by and for each jurisdiction and is most commonly set at 18 years of age, but learner drivers may be permitted on the road at an earlier age under supervision.
  • Speed limits “are enforceable laws, they are set by elected officials”.
  • “By law, all children in the U.S. are required to go to school.* Public education is free, as is transportation to and from school (in most communities), and breakfast and lunch programs are provided for qualifying students. Private school education is also an option, as long as the minimum state compulsory attendance requirements are met.”
  • “State Hunting Licenses. In most cases, to hunt legally in the United States, you must have a hunting license from the state where the hunt occurs and comply with the state fish and game department requirements associated with that license.”
  • “S. citizens and non-citizen nationals who reside in American Samoa, Guam, Northern Mariana Islands, Puerto Rico, or the United States Virgin Islands are not allowed to vote in U.S. national and presidential elections, as these U.S. territories belong to the United States but do not have presidential electors. The U.S. Constitution requires a voter to be resident in one of the 50 states or in the District of Columbia to vote in federal elections.”

These are just a few of the THINGS that we are required under law and no one seems to argue about these regulations.  However, when it comes to human kindness in stopping the spread of illness this contingent argues their rights are being violated.  Well, let me tell you, you are violating my right to live in a healthy environment.  Sadly we as citizens have not been smart enough to consider mask-wearing to stop the spread of the common cold, the flu, and other communicable illnesses.

Before COVID how many of us went to work ill because we were expected to push through our symptoms only to expose others and create a domino effect?  If COVID has taught us one thing when we are ill we must separate ourselves from others to reduce infection through exposure.  Businesses are learning that employees are often safer doing their jobs remotely, and noting they have less downtime as employees tend to be more productive.

Wearing a MASK is our right to a healthier community.  For those who choose not to, stay home, do not spread a virus that may kill you, your loved one, or your neighbor.  The scientist tells us when we wear a mask we are not spreading our germs, so when someone else wears a mask you don’t you are spreading your germs, they are not.

This argument must stop because we know that mask-wearing and handwashing often are helping reduce the spread of the virus.  However, grouping together and not observing social distance is a red flag and the COVID Tracers are identifying how an area wide-spread infection occurs.

I like many of you had hopes (and plans) for Thanksgiving.  Back in August when there was hope on the horizon that this Pandemic was slowing down, we planned to travel to Upstate New York to spend the holiday with family for the first time in almost 20 years.  However, as safe as we have stayed as well as our NY family, we have chosen that we will stay home and plan for next year or sooner if a vaccine provides us with the ability to travel.

Until that time it is not only necessary but now mandated in many states to WEAR A MASK.  WEARING A MASK is not an edict by a Controlling Government, it is a mandate to save lives, including yours!





November 10, 2020
OK, it’s a beautiful Tuesday morning, this November 10, 2020.  It may be the last warm, sunny day this year but I will rejoice with today and every day.  I am not a Pollyanna, I will have my cloudy days when the sun is behind the clouds and the temperatures fall, but I plan to gain my sunshine warmth with my many friends.

A salute to my friends.  If not for Melinda Smith I may never have met Amy Ferris.  Once Amy came into my life I gain a community of girlfriends and many boyfriends as well.  My life has become richer through these individuals who are all uniquely different while still being so similar.  They are truly human bringing their authentic selves into my life and yours through newclevelandradio.net

If you have been following my blogs on newclevelandradio.net you most likely know that in the Spring of 2017, my husband and I invested in our son Alex establishing this internet forum.  Alex’s vision was to make it the sports radio podcasting network and provided me an avenue to follow my passion for sharing, caring, and providing opportunities for our daily challenges through my podcasts.  However, about 9 months into our growth two things happened, one of Alex’s podcasters for personal reasons quit his show, and for those reasons, we made some abrupt changes in our projected path.  Additionally, Alex found the first step to his dream job working for the Cleveland Indians allowing him to create a new journey.  I chose to pull up my bootstraps and redefine newclevelandradio.net.  And so, a new plan developed and it continues to evolve.

Today we offer you a variety of programming and in 2021 we will be going above and beyond.

  1. We provide you the link to “BadAss Women At Any Age” with Bonnie Marcus – her messages are needed during this age of women and the growth they deserve.
  2. Care Notes from Cherished Companions a discussion with the Business Owner who created a home care community that provides dignity and compassion for individuals who choose to age and live at home. Life is not about nursing homes and segregated living, it’s about having a full life.
  3. Empowerment and More with Michael Gershe is not just about his journey of loss and finding the inner strength to reach out and guide others, it is about you and me and the people who meet daily.
  4. Heart Mojo with Melinda Smith begins with her journey of beating CANCER, facing CANCER as a newly separated, divorced single mom, but as a survivor who seeks other survivors to enrich our lives.
  5. Just for the Spell of It, it is not just about Scrabble, but when Gary shares his love for words, teaching, guiding, and mentoring you can take these tips and apply them to your journey. It takes a desire!
  6. K-yaks with Ken, you never know what you are going to get on this podcast – now a bi-weekly program, Ken welcomes you to join in the conversation. As a family therapist he will open up his show to guide you (for free), he will not tell you what to do but he will show you the options you have.
  7. Let’s Talk Life with Alica. Alicia Mindlin, Mindlin Wellness Center in Michigan, offers a fun forum about life. As a single mother with shared custody and a sister and daughter who is very family-oriented, she admits despite her training she doesn’t always get it right but she learns from her mistakes.  Mistakes are stepping stones!
  8. “On the Lot” with Matt Jackson will formally go viral in the next couple of weeks. Matt’s tag line is – ‘BE HEARD.  BE BOLD.’ We discuss diversity in various forms and collectively we believe awareness is the first step to acceptance.  We all want the same things in life, to be happy, well, and loved!
  9. Sherapy, with Sherry Amatenstein. Sherry is a therapist in NYC and she offers a special monthly podcast, allowing you to be the patient and share your story with her guidance.  There is no cost to you as the individual and many of the participants prefer to remain anonymous and Sherry will professional assure you of that.  If you would like to share your story that may assist you and others in the telling please contact us at newclevelandradio@gmail.com All information will be held confidential.
  10. The Intentionality Gurus with Candace Pollock. This podcast is not about therapy it is about becoming your own Life’s GURU, taking the steps to choose the path you want to travel, and learning how to accept both the positive and negative aspects as part of life’s lessons.  We welcome you to be a guest on this show by connecting with newclevelandradio@gmail.com
  11. “Tracing your Steps with Tracy”, the girl next door with a passion for happiness with family and friends while trying to accept herself as the beautiful woman she is.
  12. THE RANT with Barbara Rose Brooker is about AGING MAGNIFICENTLY. Barbara is an author and the founder of AGEMARCH.Org.  Her life’s goal is for people to be inclusive despite AGE or Life Choices.  She finds the best in the young and older and to not allow our Birthday Date to be an identifier of who we are.
  13. “What in the World with Paul Seaburn” is a weekly podcast of real, not fake news that is unusual, sometimes funny, but always interesting.

We are working on the following podcasts:

  1. Living through Addiction
  2. YOGA and other forms of self-care
  3. Couches – The stories they tell
  4. Redemption (we hope to have Amy Ferris return in 2021)

We will continue to do our entertainment podcasts with

  1. Caffe’ Lena
  2. EMPKT
  3. Hilarities

If you would like to podcast with us and have a message that will provide options and opportunities to our listeners – please contact us at newclevelandradio@gmail.com


November 3, 2020

I don’t want to believe that AMERICANS are gullible!  How did so many people 50% vote for a liar, cheat, womanizer, who has many negative attributes?  If you lied like him you most likely would have to pay the price!  Most of us were brought to believe lies are not acceptable, even the little white ones.  Although we all have lied at some point in our lives anyone whose behavior is predicated on falsehoods often has to pay the price and DJT should be paying it now.  But 50% of America went to the polls believing his lies even though they cannot prove the truth they perceive.  It is not that I needed to see a BLUE/DEMOCRAT become president I wanted to see an honest leader who listens to others and finds the truth. If the Republican Party would have proposed such an individual I may have voted RED – but instead, the REPUBLICANS have decided to be sheep and follow this despicable man and we will all go to the slaughter if he takes the CROWN again.  He will gloat and make fun of the YOU who voted for him as well as those of us who did not.  He will tear our democracy to shreds and there will be more unemployment and our economy will plummet but he will show you how the RICH are getting RICHER….. Did you know once your unemployment ends you are no longer counted as an unemployed American?  You just are not counted!  So when he says unemployment is going down if you have not landed a job you are not counted!  And what about landing a job that is not full-time or pays less than your last one?  Unemployment and Employment standards do not tell the whole story.

Out of the 50% of you, how can you believe COVID has rounded the corner, and it is not a killer? I have lost over 20 people to this VIRUS and I know another 20 + that have been stricken by it and are still recovering but with many side-affects.  Guess what, this is devastating because I cannot do anything to help these friends and family as the disease is so highly contagious, as ill as many of them are they are battling the VIRUS on their own.

Show me what positive steps TRUMP has taken and accomplished.  For the last four years, he has talked about abolishing the Healthcare Act stating he has a better plan, well if so why haven’t we seen what that is? Why are you allowing him to tell you he will make America Great again and yet he has caused the fighting in the streets.  He is an instigator and he sits backs and enjoys the ruckus!

I am praying that as close as the election is when it is all counted we will turn BLUE like the beautiful skies above and you will see what honesty looks like.  When Joe Biden and his team tell you they have a plan they will show it to you as well as the Senate & Congress.  If the PLAN doesn’t go through it will be because it was overruled by The Federal Government (Senate & Congress).  However, history shows Democratic Presidents tend to go back to their advisors review the reasons for being overruled and they collaborate on the plan to have a starting point that can be improved over time.  JUST LIKE THE AFFORDABLE HEALTHCARE ACT.  What we have today was not meant to be the final solution but Obama collaborated so we would have a start to affordable health.  The main issue in that ACT was to allow pre-existing conditions – whereas in the past once you got ill with heart issues, diabetes, cancer, or may have been treated for Autism, or Emotional Health keeping or getting insurance was denied or the cost was unattainable for the average American.  (So if The Orange Man wins we will have many people in the streets without the proper care they need and deserve.)

Many chose not to vote Democrat because they were fearful of Socialism, instead, they voted Republican which is more like a Dictatorship!  Welcome to Nazi Germany!

November 2, 2020
Good morning world – Although the earth is still spinning on its AXIS, whether you are Blue, Red, or Purple, much like me you are waiting to see what color our country will pick by the end of voting, tomorrow, November 3rd.  Never have I felt so passionate about a Presidential Election as well as so scared.  You need not agree with me to be my friend, but if you are voting RED I wish you could explain to me using the facts what DJT has done that is positive for this country rather destroying the semblance of humanity.  Four years ago, despite my disappointment and the fact that I promised my dying mother that Hilary (the blue side) would win against Trump, I could not keep my promise to her.  Upon learning of Donald’s victory, I pledged to myself to give me the benefit of a doubt, hoping that much that he preached was only rhetoric and that the four years ahead would be good ones.

However, listening to him preach about spending MILLIONS/BILLIONs for a wall to stop illegal immigrants most of who are fleeing persecution.  Also knowing that these same people who are seeking refuge here are willing to do back-breaking work that the average American never would consider.  Statistics show it is often the WEALTHY Republicans who hire and take advantage of these immigrants often suppressing their rights to become legal citizens.

Additionally, for the last four years, he has threatened to abolish The Affordable Care Act, with his plan, and yet he will only say he has a better plan but it has never been explained.

DJT claims our economic status is the best it has ever been but that is a lie!
“The national debt has increased by $5.2 trillion since President Donald Trump took office. According to the Peter G. Peterson Foundation, a non-partisan fiscal watchdog, the national debt rose from more than $19.9 trillion on January 20, 2017, to more than $25.2 trillion Wednesday, October 28, 2020.”

The Pandemic is real and yet he refuses to assist in stopping the threat!  Our government should have found a way to shut us down months before many States took the reigns and FACE MASKS must be mandated to stop the spread.  Can you imagine how many of us might avoid the Flu and Common cold if we wore face masks during the cold and flu seasons?  When the scientists provide the facts on how to control the millions who are getting ill and the hundreds of thousands who are dying by simply wearing face masks, washing hands, and minimize exposure to large crowds, our POTUS should be calmly asking us to follow the CDC Protocols.

There are many reasons I want to see our nation turn BLUE.  I want to see our society become more human again.  It is not about being better than the next person, it is about becoming better individuals, finding a common thread that brings us together, and stopping the continuous fighting across the aisle!  We must act like adults and not like spoiled rotten children when we don’t get our way/choices.

Tomorrow will be the day when America’s future is identified – if it’s RED we will only suffer, more will die from the Pandemic, more businesses will close down, more workers will be laid off, and we will become ANGRIER then we are now!  BLUE is my COLOR!

October 29, 2020
I have been a headache/migraine suffer for 50+ years.  When I was in my teens my mother’s favorite comment to me when I told her I had head pain, she would say it’s all in your head – meaning my thoughts.  In my momma’s 96 ½ years of life, she never suffered from regular debilitating migraines.  For her, it took two aspirin or Tylenol and she was good to go.  My pops, on the other hand, did experience headaches (almost daily) but for him, a snooze in his easy chair released him of any lingering pain.

I have been seen by numerous neurologists and I have been on just about everything medicine has had to offer and typically with little or no success.  However, about a year ago my current neurologist (love her to the moon and beyond) started me on a regiment of a once-monthly shot of Amivig.  If it weren’t for Amgen Foundation I would not have the relief I get about 60% of each month.  No, it is not 100% effective for me and I still resort to Imitrex, but I will take 60% of little or no headache to any other alternative I have tried in the past.

Last night I developed one of my extreme migraines, and yes it is in my head, and my thoughts are jumbled because of the pounding pain.  I do not have the typical auras to give me the insight that a headache is coming on.  It comes out of nowhere and not only does my head hurt but my neck, shoulders, and down to my fingertips.  And yet I am writing a blog to share this with you.  The reason for this blog is to beg those of you who do not understand CHRONIC PAIN not to assume if an individual continues to function ‘normally’ that they are not experiencing what you may consider life-altering.

I grew up not understanding why my cousin two to three times a month sequestered herself in a black-out bedroom.  She would take medication (at that time it was all about narcotics) and hide out until the pain subsided, often missing time with her husband, children, family, and friends.  She even would miss her favorite Mahjong afternoons.  (Not that is suffering.)

In the beginning, when my migraines occurred I too took to bed and whither in pain, and many times I would end up in the ER just to get relief and acknowledge I was not dying.  Wherever I lived the ER staff got to know me because I would try to beat the pain, continue working until my body collapsed.  Too often I got blamed by family and medical staff for attempting to work through it.  But, life is too short to give in if you can learn to muddle through, and to this day that is still my MO.  That is why it is easier for me to write about this, this morning as my brain fights against my medication telling me to stop.  But even if I stop I will still have pain and I will miss out on those precious hours of my life.  I’m not a hero or a shero – when it gets too much I will hunker down and let time pass until I experience the first waves of relief.

Please, do not tell anyone who says they are experiencing pain whether it be physical or emotional to just get over it.  We each have to find the path that takes us forward and no way is right or wrong, it is a journey that we experience.

I am not due for my Amivig injection until tomorrow so today’s migraine is somewhat expected and normal for me, however, that does not reduce my pain or give anyone the right to judge me for it!

Before my momma died in 2014 she told me she was sorry for not understanding what I had been experiencing the majority of my life.  One of her wishes for me is that medical science would find an answer and I would never have to experience a headache ever again.  Well, 60% is on track with her wish!


October 27, 2020
One week from today is the last day ANYONE can legally vote for the next POTUS.  According to the statisticians we may not have a final vote counted before December 1, 2020.  Personally, I am not sure how we will act during the waiting period if it truly drags on for a month or more… I’ve been waiting 4 years to bring change that will change the CLIMATE for all of us.  Not only will a Biden/Harris ticket be the beginning to reclaim Mother Earth, but it will also the first step to bringing calm and peace across our Nation.
Please understand I am not anti-Republicans what I am against are politicians and others who are following the lead of a Liar, Abuser, and a MAN WHO ONLY CARES ABOUT HIMSELF.  Think about him walking out of an Interview with Leslie Stahl on 60 Minutes.  The questions got tough and he walked away because he didn’t want to play by the rules, they weren’t his rules.  If you watched 60 Minutes you may have noted that Biden – who many are calling senile sat through the whole interview answering questions proficiently with grace.

I am feeling a lot of anxiety and each day as it gets closer to the final day of voting – my stomach hurts, my headaches and my HEART feels Weak.  I believe Biden/Harris has a chance to win unless someone like PUTIN rigs the election.  If the election is rigged we can expect a NAZI form of government.  The Rich will get RICHER and the poor will not have a chance – There is no more middle class and that will not change under TRUMP – so I ask anyone reading this – look at how he bullies us into following him.  He pushed through a Supreme Court Justice who has no place having a seat on the High Court – she will be the devil’s right hand.

MY THOUGHTS based on reality!

October 24, 2020
Recently I’ve been waking every morning feeling sluggish after having a night of dreams that make no sense to me, and upon awakening, my brain is still trying to figure them out.  My OCD feelings of having to know something or having to do something make me push through this lethargic feeling propelling me into what some may call SuperWoman Mode.  So even before the alarm on phone summons me to start the day I am jumping out of bed with my thoughts appearing to go one while my physical body goes down another path.

I have always been a do it now person, get it done because I know I will have more to do later. This sort of being is not conducive to being centered.  If I would ‘only’ follow the path of least destruction I may find myself calmer something I have noted lately I am not.  I reacting rather than being proactive and understanding this has stopped me as I journey forward to hit the wall.  It then and only then I seek the path that will lessen my impulsivity.

We all have weaknesses and acknowledging them and taking the steps to turn them into strengths is the essence of utopia.  I do not expect each moment of my life to be heavenly delightful, but I know it is something I must strive for to lower my blood pressure as well as keep a smile on my face.  (not a fake one for the world to see but for me and the wonderful life I want to share.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I do not know if it is the first of many or not.  But I miss live for the beauty that I feel within my being and share it with my truth.

2020 is not the year you or I planned and despite the Pandemic and the upcoming Election that has thrown many of us under the bus, for those of us clinging on we must find a way to find any silver lining we can expose and let the sunshine illuminate it!  Join me and let’s walk together into the beautiful tomorrows we can create!






Monday, October 19, 2020, was a monumental day for me.  No, I am not STAR STRUCK but I was honored to produce a podcast I have wanted since I began podcasting.  Matt Jackson is the host and if you tune in weekly you too will be starstruck by this wonderful human.  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iq1C3Q0BDR8&t=562s)

On the premiere podcast on Monday, Matt’s first guest was the one and only David S. Zimmerman please check out his podcasts as well at https://meetthebiz.net/.

The concept for this podcast came to me many years before I began podcasting.  As a mother to an exceptional young man today, at the age of six he was diagnosed and IDENTIFIED as AUTISTIC.  If you look up the definition of Autistic, many people (at least back in 1996) run in the opposite direction.  My family was treated as if we created a monster, even though the day before Alex’s diagnosis everyone who met him called him the “Kid who would Succeed!”  But a diagnosis created a label that followed him through his formative years.  It was the labeling that triggered me to become his ADVOCATE and advocate for anyone who was labeled, identified, and left out of the life they too deserve.

As a young child myself I felt different and odd.  Growing up Jewish in Detroit, I tried to fit in, and although my parents and brothers did not face the same scrutiny that “I felt”, I suffered from alienation.  Although we had a nice home, it was not the big fancy home of my contemporaries.  Although I never lacked for what I needed, my clothes were homemade (by my wonderful seamstress mother) but they weren’t purchased at the Pickwick Shop or one of the fine stores my school mates shopped for the newest trends.  So I felt like I was always one step behind (however today I would give anything to have my mother sewing and creating outfits just for me!)  However, alienation was part of my identification!

My high school years took me away from the few friends I had, and a comfort circle I was identifying with.  My dad’s job transferred us to the MIDWEST known as Minneapolis, and I looked at this as a new opportunity to be included.  I struggled and for quite a while I was identified as the new girl, and the new girl stood on the sidelines wanting to be part of the circle.  Although I do not have a medical condition that would identify me as Autistic or a choice for an alternative lifestyle, my growth was stunted feeling like the ODD ONE.

“On the Lot” with host, Matt Jackson has been created to open our eyes and encourage the conversation that brings us together in kindness and the willingness to learn from each other.  Labels must be eliminated from our vocabulary, many of us have resented the current POTUS for using labels from the onset of his campaigning before the 2016 election.  Labeling only creates anger, distrust, and violence whether verbally or physically, and violence is not the answer to inclusion.  Johnny may be living out his days in a wheelchair but Johnny is not the wheelchair, and the wheelchair is not Johnny.  It is up to all of us to come eye to eye with Johnny and meet him at his level.  And Dawn may no longer look in the mirror or her heart and see the beautiful baby girl her parents saw on the day she was born, Dawn knows she is now Don, and the pronouns change as he transitions from female to male.  As difficult as it may be for us to make the transition with him, it is more difficult for Don, but in the end, it will be his reality and ours.  No need to fight it, welcome Don who is now a happy male!

We cannot make another happy, it is up to each of us to find that inner feeling that allows us to be at our best.  We cannot make choices for those able and capable of making their own.  It is 2020, and despite the Pandemic that has infected our world, we can come together and make a difference.

***If we believe that Blacks Lives Matter, All Lives will Matter.

Open your heart to differences and find peace in life!

If you would like to participate in this podcast please let us know as the list is growing but there is always room for your Journey!  newclevelandradio@gmail.com


Did you sleep well last night?  I didn’t!  Ok, my husband is out of town/overnight for the first time since the pandemic and he had problems with making his reservation.  When he finally found a hotel (room, bathroom, and lobby clean – not so much the halls) he was so agitated that I picked up on his mood.  We have this deal that when we travel and if he is feeling lonely, frustrated with traffic or other circumstances that I am the lifeline he calls to work through the issue(s).

Although he did not mean to trigger me it didn’t help that the Indians struggled against the NY Yankees in game one of the playoffs, or that the Orange Monster was in Cleveland to DEBATE my Candidate Joe Biden!  Debate:  a formal discussion on a particular topic in a public meeting or legislative assembly, in which opposing arguments are put forward.

I took Debate Class in High School and college both undergrad and grad school.  If I had conducted myself half as badly ad DJT, I would have failed the classes.  However, last night’s moderator could not control DONALD the ASSHOLE TRUMP, and in turn, Joe Biden tried to make his points with a lot of blabbering from the man who wants to be G-D.  Just watching DJT’s face as he truly did not listen to the questions or answers from Biden made me gag!  I found myself shaking to the core and yet could not turn away.  This is the man so many call the POTUS and this maniac is running the United States like a spoiled BULLY!

Do you remember the bully in school who stole your lunch money, tried to stuff you in your locker, or told boldly face lies about you so he/she would look better?  That is the Orange Monster who sits in the White House.  He passes the blame, it is never his fault.  In fact how many times did he have to tell us what he has done for us over the last four years….I will have to fact check his comments but I can assure you they were all infatuations of his imagination.

I cannot understand how anyone can vote for him a second time, didn’t he fool you once and many times since.  Is your America looking better?  Can you honestly say he has made America GREAT AGAIN when foreign countries are laughing at him and us for supporting him?  It is time to open your eyes. 

Biden may not be your first choice, but, he is an excellent choice because he is not full of himself.  He surrounds himself with humankind.  When he is wrong he listens to the argument, but when it comes to lies about his family he will be a bull in the china shop, and so would the majority of parents in this UNIVERSE!  If Trump thinks it ok to mud sling about the family he better be careful because his family is immune, Eric Trump can’t use the presidential election to postpone testifying in the New York attorney general’s probe into the financial dealings of the Trump Organization (this week.)

Taxes, we all are responsible to pay taxes and although it is true the more money you make the more loopholes the wealthy are granted can reduce their tax burden, however, could you get away without paying taxes for a year or more?  The answer is NO – I will be honest my husband and I got behind in our business taxes during the year 2000-2001, we allowed an accountant to lead us in the wrong direction, and when the IRS came calling we had not only taxes to pay back but fines on top of fines.  Despite being in a bad place financially we sucked it up made the arrangements and cut back on our already simple lifestyle.  WE PAID UP!  Excuse me, what makes THE ORANGE MONSTER IMMUNE?  If for no other reason AMERICA this is one huge point to check out and not vote for a liar and cheater.

I have chosen to make my voice heard.  Four years ago, after my mother filled out her absentee ballot, my brother Joel and I promised her that we would do our best to ensure her Donald would not be elected.  My mother passed on October 11, 2016, and sadly, almost one month later to the date, November 8, 2016, we failed my mom’s wish.  This year I am making the plea that we all come together and stop the hatred that has been put into place by this MAN – his famous line is, “You’re Fired!”  Well, it’s time he is FIRED and sent away!

To my family and friends –

I have many fond memories of Rosh Hashannah and Yom Kippur as a young girl growing up in Detroit, Michigan.  Although my family was religious, pious as they may say, we were traditional and my parents combined their family customs into one household.  Before the High Holy Days, my mother would often take me to the fabric store where we would look through the pattern books of McCalls, Butterick, and Simplicity.  This was an excursion I looked forward to because I knew I would find an outfit in the pattern books and my momma and I would pick out fabric and voila I would have a new outfit for the Holidays.  Additionally, my mother would find a style for herself and commit to making two or three outfits for herself as well.  In the 50s and 60s, it was fashionable for women to wear hats, and mom would go to the millinery department of Hudson’s, Federal’s, or Sears finding just the right one that would go with her finery.

As a family, we would gather for dinner wearing our finery, and my brothers and dad would be dressed in their holiday suits, with a freshly pressed white shirt and tie.

I have shared with you that in the past my mother would spend days prepping for the Yom Tov, first by going to the shochet.  Driving down to the old Jewish Community off Dexter, we would enter the chicken slaughter where, chickens, ducks, and turkeys wandered until my momma and Baube selected just the right one.  It is not a pleasant sight, and most communities have done away with this act.  However, according to tradition, once a chicken (and or duck, turkey..) were selected, the Shocket holds the animal in his right hand and recites several verses, before slicing off the head.  According to Jewish law, this was the least painful of deaths for the animal.  Although this was somewhat traumatic as a young child, there was a comfort level in this procedure as I watched from the side tucked between momma and Baube.

Today, I plan to go to the store (not the shochet) and buy some ingredients for our small holiday meal that Rich, Alex, and I will share this weekend.  And just like many of you, the holiday will be much different from years past and most of us will be attending virtual services sitting in our living rooms, office spaces, and I am sure some will be watching from the comfort of their beds.  The need for new outfits is not as important to me this year as reconnecting with my spiritual self and finding personal redemption. For those that I may have wronged and for anyone who may have wrong me I share my forgiveness.

I send my prayers to all who may be ill or facing hardships and wish you all health, and wealth in life.  Wealth is not in the number of dollars you have, true richness is finding our inner-selves and feeling the beauty of life.

May God Place Us All into the BOOK Of LIFE…

19 Years
We did not record a podcast for, Just4TheSpellOfIt, today with Gary Moss.  Today being 9/11, like many of you we are rewatching the tragedy that hit our shores 19 years ago.  Although I know exactly where I was when I heard the news, saw the second plane hit the tower, worried for hours wondering where my oldest son was and my brother who was in the city for a concert he was working.  Since cell phones were not working I could not reach either of them and I knew my parents in Michigan were hanging on to hope and pray that our family was not a victim of this terrorist act!  I ran over to my youngest son’s school, pulling him out of class once we heard his brother Steve was still in his apartment getting ready for a meeting in the Towers.  Once we knew he was OK we kept vigil until my parents called to tell us that Joel and TL were safe as well.

Like many we sat in front of our TVs watching and praying that it was not as HORRIFIC as it seemed, only to learn it was worse.  We soon heard of a classmate of Alex whose father was killed in one of the Towers and that brought everything to close to home.  Unlike many who began hating the Middle East, my anger and rage only went to those who plotted and carried out this tragedy.  I refused to hate all Islamic people, they were not all involved and most were innocent despite being lumped into the tragic events.  Racial profiling got worse despite those of us who came together on that one day, September 11, 2001, looking for peace…Instead, we have created more strife which means are loved ones died for naught.  If we could learn from this tragedy maybe than BLACK LIVES, BROWN LIVES, DISABILITY LIVES, LBGTQ LIVES would not be profiled and ridiculed by our leaders!  What we should have learned is we are all one group of humans and we all deserve to live the best life we can without hurting another.

Today we are facing a worldwide PANDEMIC and we are still fighting amongst each other and this must stop.  So instead of a podcast on SCRABBLE and making friends over a common interest, I am writing this blog and asking you to be the Best Version of Yourself, You need not be better than anyone else, It’s not about winning or losing it’s about finding peace in our hearts and allowing it to be seen.  Share your light!


When I was growing up, still attending school, Labor Day was a bit anti-climatic for me as summer was ending and the new school year was beginning.  Although I was a social child, I had difficulty making friends (with the so-called cool kids).  Looking forward to yet another year of being out of the click increased my anxiety (which I didn’t know existed) and I just muddled through the year.  Since I was so focused on being part of something that I thought was so special, my focus on school work and learning became average at best.

I would not want a do-over because I know my experiences have brought me to a place in life that is more meaningful to me.  Many of those girls I wanted to be friends with don’t remember those years the way I do and we have found one another through social media and have connected as strong women should.  When you let your past be part of the journey bringing you to the best you, you are today, that is worth all the tears shed and doubts felt along the way.

For all the young men and women preparing to go back to school, whether in the classroom or sequestered at home (due to COVID) may I suggest you take this journey and know it is yours and only you can choose your experiences!  We all must learn at a young age that we have choices and it is up to us to take some forks in the road to control our anxiety.  YES, WE ALL EXPERIENCE ANXIETY it is normal.

Speaking of anxiety, if you haven’t experienced it during this Pandemic, you are most likely in denial.  You and I did not see this virus spreading and changing our paths.  However, we are living the reality of it now and we must be vigilant to what it is.  COVID has taken away not only a time in your youth, but it has affected all of us in the aging process.  No matter where you may be on the continuum of life it is altering our plans and expectations.  However, we do have choices as to how to walk, run, or skip through it.

COVID has taken me from the gym to walking outdoors and experiencing nature.  When not walking I take to my stationary bike and ride along the many trails that I envision in my head.

COVID has encouraged me to cook and eat healthier.  I have become one with salads that are much more than cut up lettuce.  Vegetables take on different tastes when I experiment with recipes whether served fresh or cooked.

COVID has led me on a more meaningful path with my podcasting, reaching out to individuals who have stories to tell and share allowing their experiences to provide opportunities as we all face challenges in life.

COVID has brought me closer to my husband and younger son, yes we are all living under one roof and both are unemployed (at the moment) while I am working from home.  We have an understanding of each other’s need for privacy as well as for companionship.  The dance of life is different but we are learning the new steps.

COVID has also given me a voice to express myself louder than I have in the past.  Life is too short to see it pass me by without peacefully vocalize my likes and dislikes when it comes to politics.  I grew up in a time when we were encouraged to keep our preferences private, behind the curtain at the polling place.  However, I have lived through 70 years of presidents, and although they weren’t all my choices I never felt threatened as I have the last four years.  You do not have to agree with me but all I ask is that you look back over the years and see the peril we are experiencing under the regime of DJT.  While I still have the freedom of speech I will peacefully ask that you #VOTEBLUE4U!  I will use my voice and my platform to repeatedly ask this.  Some may think that I should just hunker down and let life play out but hindsight has taught me you won’t get what you want unless you ask for it!  So I will continue to ASK…

Today is Labor Day and every day is a labor day for me.  Whether or not I am paid for my labor, each day I am working, as a business woman, wife, mother, sister, and friend.  The laundry will be washed and dried, meals will be planned and prepared, the house will be clean and neat, hugs and comfort will be provided, aches and pains will be tended to, and taking the road to a brighter future for all will be mapped out and followed.

When we work to achieve we are living life to the fullest!


We all have something that pains us whether it be physical or emotional pain can be very personal.  Last year at this time I started my day working out at my 24-Hour Fitness Center.  I was devoted to walking on the treadmill working specifically on my lower body to flatten my stomach, trim my hips, and strengthen my legs to increase my stamina.  As I pushed myself forward I noted my right knee getting weaker as well as painful (no pain no gain!)  However, if I had listened to my body crying in pain I would have realized I was not gaining the effects I desired.  It took another three months of pushing forward to realize I had an injury.  I did everything I could to avoid surgery, but on March 2 of this year, I underwent a total knee replacement.

The surgery itself went well and the first 48 hours I thought wow this is a breeze until the nerve block and sedation wore off.  I was determined despite the pain I experienced on day 3, I would exercise and keep the movement going for a fast recovery.  I should say that what I have learned since the repair, no two people heal the same.  I will admit once I noted the narcotics prescribed for me did not touch the pain, not even taking the edge off, I stopped taking pain medication and worked through it (kvetching along the way.)

According to my surgical team and the Physical Therapist the pain, discomfort, and swelling would go down but for me, it took not days or weeks, but months!  Over the last couple of days, five months post-surgery I am noticing I am almost pain-free.  I am sleeping through the night, occasionally taking Tylenol PM, but most nights without. I can walk up the stairs (normally,) not one step at a time, and walking down is getting more comfortable.  In the beginning, sitting caused pain in my thigh and calf and that is no longer the case.

I ride the stationary bike every day for at least a 30-minute session with tension.  I also start my mornings walking outdoors, not only working my stride but also enjoying nature.  I knew from the onset that my pain was minimal in comparison to others especially during this Pandemic, but I was determined to work through it.  I didn’t miss a beat although at times my tempo was slower, but I got back to my routine and was determined to feel better.

As I sit here writing this out I am realizing how strong we all can be when we focus on the end goal.

Yesterday I read that an acquaintance of mine who is battling cancer is experiencing another setback, however, his faith is helping keep him strong and moving toward recovery.  Since we don’t have a crystal ball to show us what the future has in store for us, we can set our sights on the future and find the positivity in our journey.  Life may not be fair and some of us may experience more trauma then others but if we dig deep enough we can perceiver.

It’s not easy!  However, visualize what you want to achieve and permit yourself to seek it one baby-step at a time.  Celebrate each step.  Reach out and let someone guide you through obstacles you may face.






Today is Day One Again

This morning I woke up asking myself why I continue to get these outbursts of frustration with the people who are so special in my life.  As I shared a week or two ago I had a meltdown,  raised voice and tears – sobbing!  Yesterday I came close to that but stopped and walked away – drove away to a safe spot in the park and sat there for 30 minutes before returning home.  I needed some me-time without someone else’s voice asking me questions that either I did not know the answer for or chose not to know.  Call it COVID MElTDOWN or ORANGEMAN MELTDOWN – what I have learned is I am not alone!

2020 was supposed to be the year of change (GOOD-PROMISING CHANGES), however, I don’t think 2020 got the message.  The changes we have seen have been radical, our lives are changing, however, the Pandemic has made these difficult to contend with.  While I was taking my time out at the park, I noted a group of bike riders gathering in the parking area (20 – 30) not one person was wearing a mask and they were not practicing social distancing!  This was the catalyst that sent me home, my first instinct was to put my mask on and yell at them but they probably believe they are safe from this “FAKE DISEASE”.

My choice to ignore them and come home to what is a safe spot for me allowed me to calm my nerves and breath.  Sorry about the thoughts that went through my mind hoping they all catch this horrid VIRUS and pay the consequences.  I know that is not a humane thought but these are the same people who may be exposing themselves to any of us in the grocery store, pharmacy, or the workplace.

I am depending on my support system to help me through these tough outbursts of frustration just as I am there for them.  I know I am not alone, but we must talk about it, and work through the angst we are feeling that fuels these moments of argument, tears, and evil words that may escape our lips.  Today is a new day and I must start over just as if I were an alcoholic who fell off the wagon or a recovering druggie who needed a fix.  Today begins a new cycle of working towards a calmer sense of acceptance.


The Beginning of the End – The Journey
4 years ago – August 2, 2016, started out as any ordinary day; however, it was a day that changed my life!  Around 9:30 am my phone rang and I heard my brother Joel’s voice – his words made no sense to me, he was telling me I had to get myself together and get up to Detroit, Mom had a stroke and I needed to go and access the situation.  My mom was strong like OX, she barely got a cold, and although she had experienced mini-strokes in the past, she was independently living.  A stroke?  How serious could this be?

I gathered my family together Rich who was out on an assignment and Alex who had plans to come home pack and sadly prepare for the worse.  I remember moving around the house in a confused state thinking what I should pack, what would my mother want me to wear when I visit her or sadly may have to put her to rest?

Our drive from Cleveland to Detroit started out with delays on the road with the construction that appeared to be excessive in comparison to the usual.  When we got close by late in the afternoon we ran into detours, and more delays until someone rammed into the back of the car.  This was one more adventure that I did not want to experience but as we waited for the police to arrive we realized that my husband who was sitting in the back seat suffered whiplash, and now my emotions were strained beyond belief.  Additionally, Alex was driving (this accident no fault of his) but it intensified his anxiety as my mom, his Baube was suffering just miles from this accident and we were delayed getting to her.

Upon our late arrival at the hospital, we noted a sign on my mother’s door not to enter until we spoke to the Nurse on Charge.  My heart dropped to my stomach expecting to hear we were too late!  But what we heard was, “Your mother lost her sight due to the stroke.  She believes she can see, so please do not upset her and tell her she CAN’T.”  This made no sense to me, but we followed the nurse’s order and entered mom’s room.  She was sitting up in bed “watching tv”.  I walked in with a smile on my face and in what I hoped was a cherry voice and said, Hi, momma, what are you doing?  She responded who is that, and I said your daughter KIKI, and answered of course what are you doing here?  I said well I hard you were in the hospital so we (Rich, Alex & I) thought we would drive up to see you.  Although she appeared to be a little confused, she thanked us and said, well I feel fine, you can take me home now.

Mom spent the four and ½ days in the hospital as they tested and retested her for causes and possible treatments.  Although her medical team was recommending, she be released to go to rehab we asked at 96 ½ years young – if you do not tell her she is blind how can she go through rehab?  So, after days of us watching my mom have ups and downs (nighttime was the worse for her), we chose to bring her back to Independent Living Apartment.  I decided I would move in with her while we hired caregivers to be with her 24/7.  On August 7, as mom was released from the hospital the doctors told us she may have a few days or longer until she would pass.

My mother had always been the independent individual that took care of others and never allowed anyone to care for her (I got her stubborn streak.)  However, now was the time for us to care for her but not take away her need to be independent.  Sadly, she was no longer independent and over the next two-plus months, my brother Joel, my niece Sue, and her caregivers and I would be there for her and travel this journey with her.  This is not how my mother wanted to spend the last weeks of her life, but I am blessed I spent those weeks with her.

August 2 will never be the same for me.  In fact, on August 2, 1964, my oldest brother Gary got married and it was also the day before my family (mom, dad, Joel, and I) moved to Minneapolis.  As joyous as the wedding was at the time it was a sad time leaving friends and family behind.  It is also the first time I got drunk, at the age of 14 I was drinking Screw Drivers and Frugging like a maniac on the dance floor.

This day has not had happily ever after attached to it for me, but on this day in 2020, I will not let it take me down.  I will remember the blessing I have experienced in my life and the wonderful mother who raised me with my loving father.  On this day four years ago, it was my mother’s transition to being with the love of her life.  It was also on this day that I transitioned and matured to be the daughter that my mother needed me to be.  As I have said I am blessed that I could spend that time with her as well as being with her as she took her last breath, I hope she knows how much I love her and always will!

Sending Love to All
Today I woke up to hearing and seeing the news about unrest in many U.S. cities.  I will agree COVID19 has brought some of us to our knees and not necessarily in respect to BLACK LIVES MATTER, but out of frustration and some lack of hope for today and the future.  COVID19, the havoc of mother nature hit many communities hard, and the fear of how many can keep their home(s) whether they are renters or homeowners as foreclosures loom in front of them.  Today is the day we must come together as we face an election in less than 100 days.  We must come together and stop fighting with weapons and destruction, and use our words that should be more powerful than gunshots!  We don’t have to like each other to come together for what we all want, JUSTICE FOR ALL.  But we must accept our differences and accept that we have more in common than not!

YOU MUST VOTE – DO NOT WASTE YOUR VOTE – And know together we can get back on the right path.








Yesterday was my oldest son’s birthday.  I cannot believe that 45 years ago I gave birth to him, where has the time gone?  Steve is the greatest gift I received from my first marriage and for that, I am blessed I was married to his dad, even though the divorce was inevitable going our separate ways turned out to be the journey we both needed.  For anyone reading this who may be in a questionable marriage, I suggest following your heart despite any heartache you may experience.  You can still find happiness to heal the breaks.

The journey I have been on has been bumpy with a lot of sunshine to pave the way and lighten aches and pains that I inflicted on myself or allowed others to throw my way.  Yesterday was a bright and sunny day, I had the opportunity to wish my son a Happy 45 despite the Pandemic and locked down he is facing in Chicago.  And although it has been two years since we have seen #1 son, we talk on the phone and text each other many times in-between visits.  Sometimes life happens and the plans on getting together are just not possible.

I love both my sons to the Moon and Back, or as Buzz Lightyear said, “To infinity and beyond.”  So to Steve on the second day of his 45th – may today be a brighter day and we step into the tomorrows.

July 16, 2020
36 years ago, yesterday (July 15th) – I said “I do” for the second time in 6 months.  Without providing all the details Rich and I married on February 3, 1984, in a private ceremony, but we officially renewed those vows before Family & Friends on July 15th, 1984.  Back on that day surrounded by the many who are no longer with us, it feels surreal to be looking back and say it has been 36 years!

A second marriage for me, a first for Rich, we chose to have a wedding that created our bond of friendship and love.  We both knew we wanted this to be a lasting bond but who would have known that we would travel bumpy, gut wrenching roads along the way.  However, as I sit here and review those ups and downs, I now know the journey needed to be ‘un-perfect’ to allow us to grow and love each other more.

I can honestly say I would not have wanted to take this journey with anyone else other than my best friend, Richard.  Richard has been my rock and support allowing me to develop into the woman I am today.  He has challenged me, and I have challenged him redeveloping our trust and love for each other.

We are not a romantic couple celebrating with champagne, caviar, roses, and dark chocolate.  Our romance is taking a walk in the morning, watching reruns of “I Love Lucy,” and an occasional dinner date out at Dairy Queen.  We talk about everything and anything and we agree and disagree and never go to bed angry with each other.

Rich has provided me with a wonderful life despite physical and financial challenges. He also shares my first-born son Steven as his own, as well as our son Alex.

Although my mother disapproved of our relationship in the beginning the two of them formed a beautiful bond and Rich became her third son.  Both of our families bonded, and Richard became my parent’s third son.

So, how do you celebrate 36 years together?  Well, Rich and I took our morning walk, I worked on newclevelandradio.net, and for a mini dinner celebration, we went to Mavis Winkle’s and shared a dinner followed by a visit to Dairy Queen.  This year we included Alex in our plans and made it a FAMILY AFFAIR – we would have included Steven, but he is still hunkering down in Chicago.

COVID did not interrupt our day and we are blessed to beginning our journey into year 37!



July 13, 2020

I am going to say my peace and you can ignore me if you wish – but until COVID is cured, or the threat of it becomes a blimp in the radar – my belief is we all need to listen to the scientist and WEAR MASKS properly when out of our homes.  According to the Mayo Clinic, “ Asking everyone to wear cloth masks can help reduce the spread of the coronavirus by people who have COVID-19 but don’t realize it. And countries that required face masks, testing, isolation, and social distancing early in the pandemic seem to have had some success slowing the spread of the virus.”  Web MD shares “Face Masks Reduce COVID infection Risk by 65%”,  So why are people not wearing them and spreading germs that could manifest into this terrible virus?

When I wear a mask I am being considerate of those who I may be in contact with outside my home. If you remember the Golden Rule, “Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do To You.”  So again I ask if you are the one choosing not to wear a mask do you realize that you may be a carrier of COVID and the droplets no matter how small from your nose or mouth may infect me (or someone else), how does that make you feel?

Just this weekend a young man died from COVID.  He like many thought it was a hoax.  He attended a COVID party and got infected.  Right before he died, he told the nurse, he thought wrong!  Are you going to wait until you get COVID to accept that this is real and we all must work together to stop the spread?

I did not plan that I would spend my 70th year sequestered in my home.  I like many of you had hopes and dreams and above all plans for this summer and fall but for now, they are all on the back burner because COVID is spreading like wildfire and I am doing whatever I can to stay out of the path of this vicious demon.  Despite your choice not to adhere to the medical scientist I ask that you stay your distance until it is safe to be together again.  In the meantime consider the order in many communities requiring the wearing of a face mask and social distancing, it just may save your life too.

I don’t want to hear that the community is taking away your rights telling you to wear a facemask.  Do you think your rights are abused when a business states:  No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service?  (It is the right of the business to place restrictions to maintain a healthy ad positive environment.)









July 11, 2020
Life Coaching is Right for ME
Sometimes we change, and sometimes we stay the same.  Have you ever found yourself repeating the same mistake (?) over-and-over again?  Whether you admit it or not, if you do, you are much like me, that is until I started podcasting with Candace Pollock, Life Coach, The Intentionality Gurus on newclevelandradio.net.

Let me explain what a life coach is, just on the off chance you do not know.  Most importantly, a life coach does not need to be a Psychologist, Psychiatrist, or have any specific degree to coach.  A dictionary definition may be “a person who counsels and encourages clients on matters having to do with careers or personal challenges.”  Counseling is in terms of guiding the client to observe their actions while reflecting on how their actions impact them both positively and negatively.  Coaching provides an opportunity for me, or the client to develop self-awareness while walking down the path of life.  As we move forward, we experience many forks in the road and we must decide which direction to follow.  Sometimes we go right or left OR decide to get off the path getting lost in the middle of the woods. The life coach does not encourage you to follow a certain path.  The life coach guides you to look forwards as well as backward and to feel and taste the decision you make.  The one you pick today may not be the same tomorrow.  Either the direction works for you or you adjust as you continue on your journey.

What you may have berated yourself for in the past is only a mistake or error if you continue to repeat it.  However, if you learn from it and appreciate the journey you now travel.  Your life coach provides you with strategies to change the patterns in your life that may need adjustments.  One area that I personally have experienced MAJOR ADJUSTMENTS for myself is not being, Karen-on-Demand.  Prior to working with Candace on her bi-monthly podcast, I would jump at command when I heard my name.  I was in constant motion helping and assisting others before I put on my own oxygen mask.  Others were flying safely as I continued to crash and burn to struggle for yet another breath of fresh air.  Today, I can breathe and when I find myself being suffocated by my own thoughts of responsibilities, I stop and pause and follow the path that leads me forward.

Life coaching if you are willing to accept can provide clarity to your thinking.  We often confuse reality with fantasy, making excuses for the WHYS in life.  However, the life coach guides us to think, shake out the cobwebs that confuse our thinking, and through exercises seek the truth of who we are and where we want to go!

Exercises are strategies that provide us the guidance to clearer thinking and development.  Your coach, much like Candace Pollock, will ask question upon question until you see clearly.  Clear thinking provides mindfulness as we seek which direction we want to take as we approach the fork in the road.

If you choose to work with a life coach you are making a commitment to yourself to break down the walls that may be stopping, you at the present time.  However, the life coach is there to guide you through the destruction and stop the total collapse keeping you in focus with the vision you seek.


The podcast link The Intentionality Gurus on newclevelandradio.net provides you the listener to experience life coaching and development that you may be seeking.  For me, my short fuse has grown, I am able to observe situations that previously I reacted to, and now I am more pro-active.  This does not mean I am perfect, there is always room for change.  Learning to be mindful I am more at ease as I trip and fall along the way.  I accept the bumps and bruises to lead me down a smoother pathway.

July 4, 2020
Happy 4th of July.
I know many of you that read this post are planning cookouts- family/friend gatherings, or you are vacationing somewhere amongst others.  However, this July 4th is unlike others we have celebrated because the year 2020 has been, and still is experiencing a Pandemic. Now, before you stop reading this “rant” I hope you will be open-minded enough to continue reading and take heed!  I too want to be out and about experiencing life and enjoying my time here on planet earth.  However, I understand the situation we are in and the only way we can stop the spread of this horrific disease is to SOCIALLY DISTANCE and if that means staying home, washing my hands regularly and wearing a mask and not touching others, I will do so and I hope and pray you will too.
Last night I experienced being out in a safe environment – I wore a mask and I only spoke to others that were wearing masks as well.  Those who chose not to, I stayed a safe distance away and did not engage in conversation with them.  If the theory is true and the virus is carried through droplets that come from oral cavities, mouth, and nose, I will not risk being close enough to be exposed.
I attended and photographed an outdoor, drive-in concert (Kenmore, Ohio).  The Kenmore Neighborhood is part of a revitalization that encourages music and entertainment. The musicians that gravitate to this community are talented Northeast Ohio individuals that perform and give back to their community and the surrounding area.  For many their incomes have been impacted the most as they are independent artists that depend on us, their audience to put food on their tables and diligently practice and create for our pleasure.  Music is the heart of the soul that nurtures us and brings us together in brotherhood/sisterhood.
The musicians were terrific, this was the first public performance for all of them since the March when Ohio was shutdown.  The messages they offered in their music selections were uplifting (original music) and the harmony of all was breathtaking.
I want to thank Jim Ballard for taking my suggestion of a drive-in concert to Tina Boyes, The Executive Director of the Kenmore Neighborhood Alliance, who made this event happen.  You see, I have been concerned about the musicians in Northeast Ohio, and elsewhere and I thought if graduations were being held in a drive-in atmosphere why not a concert?  I had no idea how to make it happen, but I knew it could be done so I threw the idea out and the masterminds got it done. I hope this will be the first of many, even when the Pandemic is resolved, it is not just going to disappear!
Some individuals sat in their cars with their windows open to enjoy the music charm well others brought lawn chairs to socially distance themselves and enjoy the evening sounds.  “Little Bites” provided carhops to take food orders and kindly with a smile behind their masks deliver food to those who ordered.  I felt like I was back in the fifties and sixties when neighborhood events like this brought people together to share a common interest without a political statement.

This morning I feel blessed to know that I could celebrate this holiday safely, make some new friends as well as connect with individuals I have not seen in a while.  I encourage everyone to be safe and celebrate not just today but every day, life is for the living and we need to take steps forward, while still being cautious.
Lastly, remember why this country is celebrating today, and the concept of our creation –  (“all men are created equal” is part of the U.S. Declaration of Independence, which Thomas Jefferson penned in 1776 during the beginning of the American Revolution.) To exercise our equality, we must accept THAT BLACK LIVES MATTER, once we embrace this as true, we can celebrate together in PEACE!


July 2, 2020

Will, we ever hold an election where the candidates stop name-calling?  Is it possible to stand on your own two feet without pushing your opponent off balance?  Aren’t we taught as little children to play fair?  And wasn’t the United States built on fairness and justice for ALL?  What would happen if we stopped hanging out someone else’s dirty laundry and look inside our closet!  No one in this universe is perfect.  We may strive for perfection but we are always on the search to reach one more rung on the ladder.  So if we are not perfection how can we call out another for what we assume is his or her imperfections?

I will freely admit I cannot call Donald J Trump my president.  As of this writing, he has done nothing but pat himself on the back for all he has done in his term as POTUS, however, not only does he not listen to the majority of the U.S. Citizens (he did not win by a majority vote!) he does not listen to his advisors and he has been known to fire them at will!  Personally, I do not choose my friends based on their political, religious, or various beliefs.  I select friends who are willing to be open-minded and understand the meaning of collaboration.  I accept the fact that I can learn from them and they may learn from me.  Wouldn’t it be nice if we had a President who was more open-minded and self-aware of his “own” imperfections?

I recently read that Mr. Trump is waiting for Joe Biden to misspeak.  Let me advise those of you who may not know, Vice-President Joe Biden has a speech impediment.  A speech impediment is a REAL MEDICAL CONDITION that may affect ‘normal’ speech.  What this means is words may be misused or misspoken not due to the lack of intelligence or not adhering to political correctness, but due to misfiring in the brain, often caught and corrected by the individual.  Do not take Joe Biden’s speech impediment that he is too old or displaying signs of cognitive decline.  Age has nothing to do with his medical condition.

Here at newclevelandradio.net, we do a weekly podcast called. The Rant with Barbara Rose Brooker, an author, activist, artist, public speaker, and founder of AGEMARCH.org.  Barbara is 83 going on 84 and is living life to the fullest even though she may believe she technologically disadvantaged she is up to date with the youngest on the internet! The Rant is about AGEISM and ABLEISM, and it is now time to become aware of ourselves and live them out with respecting others, and we cannot do that until we respect ourselves.  Donald J Trump does not respect himself enough to stand on his own two feet and if he doesn’t respect himself how can we as Americans expect him to care about our welfare?

Donald’s slogan, “Make America Great Again,”  should be changed to “It’s Time To Accept Our Differences and Work Together Again”.

In just five months it will be time to cast your ballot for President, Congress, and the Senate, it is now time to become aware of your future.  No one candidate is perfect, they all have imperfections, like you and me.  However, the question you must ask of yourself is what is best for me, my family, and friends – don’t fall for the sound bytes they will only confuse you and remember you too will need to learn to work through the differences of other people!

June 20, 2020

I begin my morning with several household and business chores and a small breakfast – I then talk a morning walk. When Rich is not working, we walk together. However, nothing has kept me from this routine except a PT appointment or early morning (senior) grocery shopping. My day is concluded with my stationary bike ride at medium tension for 30 – 45 minutes. I am also using an app to log my exercise and my food intake, which averages 1050 a day, and I am conscious of eating greens (vegies) and my daily need for fruits.
So why am I sharing this?
I know that keeping myself accountable, I need to voice my challenges and seek acknowledgment from myself that I am committed to this lifestyle. Although I have been working at this now for a month, the numbers on the scale are barely budging, but I am feeling healthier despite still having a lot of knee (leg pain).
My therapist and my surgeon seem to believe this is not unusual, and that pushing through the pain is positive. Although I keep asking myself when will the pain stop?
Pain and how we receive it and interpret it is subjective. When I am lying awake in the middle of the night, feeling exhausted from my disturbed slumber, the pain elevates to a 10! However, when I am walking and accepting no gain without pain, I often label it below a 5! For some, the results of discomfort can lead to taking drugs that may cause addiction (even Tylenol as needed!). For others, it may cause anxiety leading to depression or ignoring the source that may need attention. I have embraced it so I can work at making it less intrusive in my life.
I will not take medication that will ignore the pain putting me in a “LA, LA STATE” nor will allow it to control my life at the expense of being unhappy.
Since the age of 18, I have learned to accept specific maladies to be part of my life’s journey as a migraine sufferer. I have empathy for those who experience this form of headache (or any other). The throbbing pain in the skull can feel deadly; often, it is difficult to think as all your energy is focused on the pain itself. Having to explain to someone why I remain active during one of these episodes or how I refuse to give into a rating of 10 three months after knee surgery is complicated.
The only answer I can give is that I refuse to give up, I refuse to miss out, and participating in life is just my challenge for happiness.
Podcasting with Candace Pollock – The Intentionality Gurus -https://www.spreaker.com/show/the-intentionality-gurus-candace-pollock – I have had the opportunity to look inside myself and explore my motivations for how I want to experience my life. No one can do it for me – my successes are mine, and my failures are mine as well. If I fail, I am the one who must examine how and why and if I choose, learn, and try again to achieve success. Success, like White Privilege, is not an indicator that I have won the blue ribbon, a trophy, or I am financially secure, it just means I have been noticed and accepted for what I have achieved. As a white female, I have more of an opportunity to succeed in the eyes of the community than my black female counterpart. The black female bleeds the same color blood as I and experiences both physical and emotional pain.
Whether the pain we experience is physical or emotional, it is real. The color of our skin should not determine who is suffering more than another. We must find the fork in the road to travel to create a new dialogue, understand and stop asking someone “just to forget it, let it ride”. Not all hurts can be covered up with a band-aide.
We must allow the wound to open up, heal, and begin the process of renewal.

June 13, 2020

Before I post The Intentionality Gurus with Candace Pollock, I want to invite you to join us in our bi-weekly podcast. Candace Pollock is a Life Coach, and she has worked with many people to help them seek the changes they want to make both personally and professionally.
A Personal Coach is not a therapist. The object of the coaching sessions is to help YOU/ME with personal growth and relational growth. You can focus on business, career, family, finances, and health (just a few.) Your coach guides you through questions and exercises that allow YOU/ME able to make better decisions.
Candace Pollock is responsible for guiding (not leading YOU or ME) to feel the changes WE want to change or adjust. Through coaching, YOU/ME can improve the actions that will provide us with personal growth. The key to Life Coaching is Guidance, Self-Empowerment, and Personal Improvement.
Candace or the Life Coach of choice will not tell you to change – you decide for any change!
Candace has been podcasting with us for over two years, we are in our third year of programming, and I have developed more clarity, commitment, and vision for personal and growth. The goals I may have chosen when we began this journey have the option for change through growth and progression of looking into my heat, gut, and consciousness.
The exercises allow YOU/ME to self-reflect honestly; it provides us a path to expel the BULLSHIT! The goals and tasks I choose to follow is my mantra and not necessarily the journey you will take; that is why this is a Personal Coaching Experience. We each become our personal GURU. A GURU is identified as someone who is a spiritual teacher who drives others to initiate!
Therefore, we guide ourselves from the internal pit in our stomach to our conscious brain to initiate the changes we want!
Join us and contact us at newclevelandradio@gmail.com



Last night (Sunday, June 7th) my brother Gary wrote a beautiful Birthday Tribute to our Father (Pops) in heaven.  As I read his words it took me back in time to the beautiful memories of J Harmon Moss.  On June 8th, 1917 when our father was born his given name was Jay Moss.  However, during the year of 1917 and the Spanish Flu, my father became critically ill and his parents (Abe and Jenny (Cohen) Moss) were advised their firstborn son might not survive his illness.  By Jewish tradition when an infant is on the verge of death they are named after someone (often a relative) who had lived a long and prosperous life.  My dad known as Jay Moss now became Jay Harmon Moss, Harmon was the translation of a relative named  Hunkle.

It should be obvious to you that my father was one of the lucky ones surviving the Pandemic of the early 20th Century, however, the scaring of his heart caused him to suffer from Rheumatic Fever, and later in life with Angina and Heart complications.  But despite it, all my Pops was a survivor and an accomplished fellow.

Although my dad was not financially successful and as he termed himself a Jack of All Trades, he always provided for his family and those in need.  Even when money was tight and we couldn’t afford the ten cents Good Humor ice cream, my parents put money in their Pushka, to help others.  The lessons Pop taught us are his legacy to his successful life, and the reasons so many were drawn to him and loved him.

Harmon Moss was a writer, a poet, a lyricist, a furniture maker, as well as a Bus Driver, MilkMan, BrickWasher, Traffic Manager, Rabbit Farmer, Muffin, and Cookie entrepreneur, amongst many other jobs in his 87 years of life. He volunteered as a Den Master for many years as well as Youth Director at our Synagogue in Detroit. Additionally, both dad and mom became part of a group called the Mizrichards where he sat on the board and helped developed many social engagements for this organization surviving once again as a writer, producer, director, and actor.  (Yep, A Jack of All Trades!)

My Pops is my hero and I am sorry that I didn’t tell him that but I know I’ve told him how much I loved (still do) him.  His spirit lives on in me and my son Alex.  When Alex was 11 or 12 my dad had a massive heart attack.  My mother called us to come home to Michigan, we all thought we were coming home to say our good-byes.  However, Alex walked into his ICU room and looked at him all hooked up to lifelines and as only a child can do, scolded him for having yet another heart attack.  He told him that he would not accept that he was dying and he told him to fight.  I know this was difficult for my mom as she expected this to be the end of a long and beautiful marriage.  A few hours later the doctor came out to the waiting room to talk to us and we all expected him to tell us dad was gone.  Instead, he asked us to follow him and we went to my Pop’s room to find him sitting up in a chair eating a sandwich!  What the hell?  Yep, my dad was a survivor, until February 3, 2004, a day I will never forget because he left us (me) on my 20th wedding anniversary!

Dad would have been 103 today, and he has been gone from this earth for 14 years.  But he has not left us completely because we remember those wonderful memories of J Harmon Moss, including his golf course tantrums and his huge bear hugs!

I am one lucky girl!
I will always love my POPs





(Here is my Brother Gary’s Memories)


My dad, Jay Harmon Moss, was born on June 8 in 1917, 103 years ago, and passed away on February 3, 2004.

I am his eldest, born in 1942 during the crazy times of the WWII era, in Detroit, Michigan.

The carefree years that accompanied my childhood provided shelter to me that only now can I appreciate. I’ve been awakened by the reality of the events in today’s Pandemic, in today’s Economic Challenges due to the loss of jobs and income streams that people count on, Despotic leaders in the White House and Congress, Injustice personified in the ranks of our police forces (hiding in plain sight).

I find myself wondering . . . Dad, how did you manage to weather the storms that brewed during your lifetime? You were born in the midst of the Spanish Flu Pandemic and became critically ill as a baby. I am proof that you somehow beat that menace but sustained a weakened heart that challenged you again in your senior years. You waded through the Great Depression years helping support yourself and contributing to your family as best you could. You had to work and set aside your personal ambitions of becoming a veterinarian. And then WWII comes along. Your physicality marked you as 4F so you went off to work for the war effort while others went to the front lines.

You were always a hard worker, working long days for minimum wages. I remember you coming home from work, eating dinner, and drifting off fast asleep in your easy chair in the living room. You were a staunch family man. You always demonstrated love and affection for mom and we filled our spare time on weekends with visits to your parents and mom’s parents. Without a profession to rely upon you were always in search of a better job. I had a hard time keeping up with knowing what you were doing and you described yourself as ‘Jack f All Trades, Master Of None’. I loved working alongside of you, holding a flashlight while you repaired jukeboxes, and being your hopper, delivering milk in the wee hours of the morning before the world woke up.

And you were so creative. You wrote so eloquently. Your penmanship looked like calligraphy. You wrote notes and letters and poems. Mom prized the hundreds of poems you showered upon her. At family weddings and other celebrations, you wrote parodies to songs that left every eye in the clan weeping. You celebrated me at my Bar Mitzvah with a new version of ‘Mighty Like A Rose’. You gave a stab at becoming a MusicMan when you and next-door neighbor Paul Courtner collaborated on songs like ‘Doctor, Doctor’.

You were a dreamer and schemer. While working full time with a commute of more than an hour to and from work you taught yourself to become a rabbit breeder. And from the beginning of 1 male and 2 females, you built a rabbit herd of hundreds in a matter of months, right there in our garage on Ohio, in Detroit. When the neighbors caught wind of what you were doing (you know what I mean) you moved the herd to a rabbitry in Rochester Hills, MI right along the route to your day job..

Even in the most difficult of times, you managed to keep a positive perspective and believed that ‘THE BEST IS YET TO COME’.

There have been numerous times when I been standing, usually shaving, in front of the bathroom mirror, when instead of seeing myself, you appeared, looking back at me from within the mirror. It’s eerie, but oh so welcoming to be standing so near to you.

I believe that my passion for words is a gift to me from you. Thank you so much.

Happy Birthday, With Love,

#1 Son



Thankyou TEMPE Wherever YOU ARE
June 2, 2020

June 2, 2020, does not look like the day and year I had perceived it would be.  I thought that the turmoil of the McCarthy Era, The Cold War with Russia, the Bay of Pigs in Cuba, Race Riots, just to name a few of the civil unrest issues in my lifetime, would be behind us when I reached my 70th year.  Although I never planned on retiring, I always saw myself as someone who needed to identify with the work I was involved in.  Except for possibly one or two jobs that I have held down I have been compassionate about my efforts in trying to make this world, one area at a time a better place.
I remember the first and only time I called someone the ‘N’ word.  Her name was Tempe, Tempe was a wife, a mother, and a friend of many.  My mom hired her to do the ironing once a week.  In addition to the ironing, she would talk me through my daily challenges at school and provide me with hugs of kindness, compassion, and love.  One day either on the playground at Bagley Elementary or in the lunchroom I heard some students talking about the “N’s” that worked for their mothers.  (Many of my classmates were more affluent than I and their moms had these women cleaning their homes, scrubbing toilets, as well as preparing meals so mom could go to meetings, play cards, or have tea with her lady friends.  My mom hired Tempe because she worked full-time.)  So on this day, a day that Tempe was standing on her feet in our basement ironing or sitting down and using the mangle (ironing machine), I was introduced to the “N” word.  As I walked home alone I thought about it and how it was used and as an innocent 9-year old I came home, ran down the basement stairs to see my beloved Tempe.  I greeted her with the words, “You’re an ‘N’.”  All I remember after that was her sad look and her asking me to go upstairs and stay away from her

When my mom and dad came home I was brought into the kitchen where my dad threatened to take a belt to my BUTTE for the nasty foul word I had used.  My first reaction was to cry and defend myself but my dad kept yelling at me why would you say that word and why did you call Tempe an ‘N’? As I tried to explain I was sent to bed without dinner and all I could do was cry!  A little later that evening my father asked me to get my coat he was taking me somewhere, he wouldn’t tell me where.  We drove to a section of Detroit I did not recognize.  It looked old, and not as well kept as my neighborhood.  I asked my dad where are you taking me? With silence in the car, I had no answer until the car stopped in front of a house.  My father told me to get out and go knock on the door.  I was scared!  I knew I had done something wrong but was my father getting rid of me?  I started to whimper and he told me to do as he said.  So with tears flowing down my cheeks, and snot running out of my nose, my numb body approached the door and before I could knock there stood Tempe with her little girl.

As soon as I saw my beloved Tempe I begged her for forgiveness for using a word someone (my age) convinced me was OK and now I understood it wasn’t but I didn’t know why.  She invited me into her very humble home and I noticed some furniture that was once ours and the dress her daughter was wearing used to be mine.  I was feeling very confused but she took me into her arms and explained the ‘N” word.  She made me promise to never use it again.  She shared with me if I did she would not work for my parents and would never see me again.  I could not let that happened, she was my friend, and I didn’t want to lose her.  My father eventually came into the house and apologized and Tempe explained that it was a matter of misunderstanding and she was sure it would never happen again.

When Tempe explain the “word” to me I noticed her daughter (who was younger than I, she may have been 3 or 4 years old, had a look of horror on her face.  She knew better than I what a terrible word it was and that’s when I knew I would lose it forever.  This wonderful Black woman taught me that friendship, love, and humanity has no color, we are all G-D’s children and we all deserve to live in peace and harmony.

I have thought a lot about Temple and her daughter (I think her name was Kayla, and that is my Jewish name.)  However, in the summer of 1964 when my family moved to Minneapolis, Minnesota although I kept in touch via snail mail, there was no email, we eventually lost track of each other.  However, I will always remember the lesson she taught me, and although my father scared the living SHIT out of me, I have never disrespected another person in that way.  My lesson was learned and to this day I still believe we must #COMETOGETHERASONE #B_U_B_ME_B_US

MAY 30,2020
SHUT THE FUCK UP if you can’t say something nice!
As May 2020 is coming to an end, I sit here at my computer asking myself and those of you that read this and the other Blogs I offer up, when will we learn.  Why is it my way or the highway without forethought of awareness (compassion) for another human being?  I was brought up to do the right thing and respect the law and those who lead us, yet today too many in law enforcement, not all, believe they can do whatever they want to control a person (even if that person is cooperative!)  I fear this world we are living in where someone by choice can assume they are bigger and better than you and use old school tactics, BULLYING someone to death.

The protestors against the violence may have gotten out of hand, and burning down one’s city or accidentally killing or maiming a bystander is not the answer to the Civil Problems facing us today. What we are witnessing is a TRINKLE DOWN MENTALITY from the White House.  If the current POTUS can be abusive – shouldn’t I have the approval to do the same?  The answer is NO and our leader of the free world should not be encouraging the fighting and civil disruption that he has continued to do so since he came into office in 2016.  His followers are either vigilantes or individuals who refuse to think for themselves.  Some people like to be told how to think and live, until they DON’T.

I am amazed as we prepare to launch back into SPACE we are falling apart at the seams here on earth.  A friend of mine posted that if the astronauts are cleared for lift-off today they are the lucky ones, getting away from this unnecessary unrest.  I don’t care what color your skin is, what sexual orientation may be or the religion that you profess to believe in, we are all the same with having the ability to like or not like something.  Hate is not part of that equation, because to hate means you are not aware or accepting of others.  If you want to be accepted for being YOU, Then let me be my authentic self!  Together we can create a more peaceful union.

It’s time to put the weapons down including evil speech.  As my mother once said, if you having nothing nice to say, SHUT THE FUCK UP.  When you say something make sure you have the facts to support it!


MAY 24, 2020
Living in a democracy allows us to have freedom of speech, and for that, I am grateful. This freedom provides us the opportunity to become more aware of similarities and differences. Yet being different is not bad; it just means we may see a situation based on our past-history, culture, and understanding. The differences are not wrong! However, as the country and the global community begins to open-up, it does not mean we should be infringing on each other’s freedom of remaining safe.
Scientists have provided evidence that social distancing, wearing a face mask are the best solutions to limiting the COVID. If you choose not to follow the evidence-based documentation, that is your right, but that does not allow you to participate in activities that require these rules/standards.
I am a huggee person, and when I see friends and family, I would love to approach them with a hug, handshake, kiss, or whatever would be appropriate if not for this Pandemic.
But it is not safe, and therefore I will be socially correct remaining 6 feet away and wearing my mask. I do not want to get, and if I should happen to be an unknown carrier of this awful disease, I do not want to pass it on to you. I would hope you, too, would feel the same or at least respect my choices.
If you choose not to follow the guidelines for a healthier outlook on this Pandemic, that is your choice. May I suggest you step back from those who wish to follow the simple protocol that has been set before us (GLOBALLY) it is not just what our government is saying or not saying, the world-wide medical experts are providing us with a way to stay safer!
I look forward to the day that this will be behind us.


May 21, 2020
So, we had another mass shooting at an Arizona Mall! @StayatHome orders lifted just enough to get people out and about and an ANGRY individual (who may be one of the millions with mental health issues that have not been treated) ventured out with an assault weapon with the intention to KILL!
Have you noticed since we have been in the @StayatHome mode that mass shootings and crime have minimized? Now I am not advocating we should never leave our homes or open up businesses and allow ourselves the freedoms this country is built on, but we must do it safely with awareness.
I wish I had a plan for a safer reopening of our cities and states, the only comment I will make is we must be aware and mindful of where we are and what we are doing.
This attitude begins at home with us looking deep inside. We must be honest with ourselves as we feel and share both the good and bad thoughts that may be traveling from the gut to the brain.
Before we react, we must identify the what and whys of those feelings and choose to resolve them without death and dying.
For months as we have @StayatHome, we have had the opportunity to explore our thoughts and to become more aware of who we are and who we want to be. I am not medically trained to give advice, but what I have learned in the 70 years I have lived on this earth; we can make the changes we need to be happy. Changing does not include hurting another to achieve your goal.
Our happiness does not depend on how others treat us or relate to us; it is our job to create our happy place and accept that with happiness comes sadness, and sometimes sad develops into DEPRESSION. DEPRESSION is real, so take this moment to look inside yourself, feel, share, and express without harm to yourself or others.

Treat Others As You Want Them To Treat YOU!

May 16. 2020
It is Saturday morning, and Spring/Summer has finally arrived here in Northeast Ohio.  I don’t know about you but nothing feels real anymore, it’s surreal.  As I write this, I am looking out my dining room window and I see the fog that appears to surround the bottom of the trees with only the grass in clear view.  The eerie appearance is both comforting as well as not so much!  However, that is feeling I seem to be living with day-to-day.  Although it is a Saturday, the weekend, typically a time to run errands or get together with friends and family, that is not part of my plan today.  Each day seems to look much like another and if it were not for my calendar, computer, and phone reminding me of the date, I would say I am living in the movie, “Groundhogs Day.”
When I wake up in the morning, I try to remember the voice of my POP’s who would greet each day looking into the mirror and saying, “Good Morning Handsome!”  Each day was a good day because he woke up and he was determined that he would make each day his best.  I have tried to live by his influences as I wake up each morning after a restless night.  I know I only have control over how I react to life happening at this moment in time.
My friend Candance has influenced my news watching and the overwhelming thoughts that occupy my brain from information overloaded.  I start my working day with GMA, however when the stories are repeated each hour, I mute what I have already heard, once is enough.  I also watch the local 6 pm local news and the 6:30 pm national news, unless but often while preparing dinner when my focus is not as intent while I multi-task.  However, as COVID19 continues to attack and ravage ‘our lives’ it is difficult not to be overwhelmed.
Yesterday both my husband and son informed me of their anxiety about going to the grocery store and pharmacy.  Since I am considered “at-risk” the task of shopping falls upon them.  They both wear a mask and gloves and stay 6 feet away from others.  However, there are still many who are not wearing masks and not following the regulations.  Both my son and husband return home exhausted from the high anxiety they feel.  My heart is heavy, I feel like I am sending them out to battle!
I refuse to say May was supposed to be different.  As I noted above I can only control that which is my ability.  Personally, I am working at accepting that if I #stayhome, if I #stay6feetaway, if I #wearamask, if I #followtheguidelines, this too will change, and our tomorrow’s will be what we create.  The control we have is to be the best version of our self each day and that includes protecting not just ourselves but each other.

  • If I #stayhome there is less of a chance of getting ill or exposing someone else to an illness.
  • If I #stay6feetaway I am following the protocol to keep you safe
  • If I #wearamask my germs will stay within me and your germs will not infiltrate me.
  • If I #followtheguidelines we may be able to stop COVID in its tracks!

The fog outside my window is slowly dissipating.  I can see the bottoms of the trees more clearly.  Just like the cloudy mist, I know in my heart of hearts that this is way May needs. However, together we can create the sunshine making tomorrow sunnier!




May 14, 2020
Another Day of the Pandemic
There are many questions about COVID that we continue to ask, and researchers, doctors, and laypeople are seeking answers. However, there is a group of people who are choosing to deny the science of this Pandemic!
This is real, you are not sleeping and having a nightmare, #STAYatHOME, may not be fun after all these weeks and the expectation of another month or two is causing anxiety and depression for many.
Unlike the Spanish Flu Epidemic of 1917-18, we can #STAYCONNECTED through social media and all the new group meetings available. I agree it is not as helpful as being there – but it is the reality of 2020.
This is the time to be creative with our limited resources. My husband and I have made excuses for not losing weight, but now we are more aware of what he purchases on his weekly grocery trip. I have been more creative in the kitchen, and when the groceries arrive, I portion them out to keep us on track of our new routine of eating. Eating appropriately has helped us not just for now but for the future. Before March 2020, we found ourselves eating out 3 – 4 times a week, resulting in spending more money than we should, and we were not even appreciating the foods we were eating. Despite the cost of groceries going up, we are spending less.
My work pattern has not changed since I work from home. However, I have allowed myself to relax when I need and to keep busy to lessen the anxiety and depression that seeps in through our windows. Now that the weather is finally warming up, I plan to spend more time outside walking, composting, and enjoying the sounds of nature. Living on the edges of the National Park, I have a lot of beautiful life outside my door.
Many say the Pandemic is going to increase divorce rates, and I must say, even though my husband and I are not perfect, we are enjoying the time we are having together. We are also allowing ourselves the time alone. Our condo is not huge, but we have worked out spaces that provide this opportunity. With Alex still living at home and on furlough from his job, he is spending a lot of time alone, not unusual for him. Respecting each other’s needs, we are learning new communication skills and enjoying time with each other in new and different ways. I do not foresee the Pandemic causing a divorce in this family, what I see in our future is a get-away to experience a new life together!
I would not have chosen 2020 to begin like this; I had many plans for the year as many of you may have had, but it is what it is, so I pledge today to be here for you. I understand depression, as I have experienced it many times in my lifetime. However, I refuse to give in to it! I want to remember 2020 as the year we found our voices, and the strength to ACCEPT BLUE is NORMAL!

May 10, 2020
Mother’s Day

Mother’s day they say is every day!  I must agree that most mothers are so involved in the lives of their family members that they appear to be in the limelight.  Typically it is the mom who rises before her flock even begins to stretch and yawn to the new daybreak.  Although today’s mom may not look and act like a June Cleaver, she is very much the force that glues the household together.  She is not a perfect person and she does make mistakes but she is often expected to carry the load and she does.

Expectations may not come from her family they are often self-induced.  The maternal instinct is often inbred and not easy to deny. It’s important to remember Mom is just doing her best.

Although mother’s day maybe every day it does not mean that you (or I) appreciate this person who loves us unconditionally.  Too often we take her for granted or assume she knows how special she is.  It is mother’s day because she is guiding her family to find the happiness they deserve.  However, sometimes we look at that as nagging and intrusion and refuse to see the good in this woman we call mom.

Sadly for some this experience is not nurturing and scars of discontent invade their thoughts today and for those children (and even their mother’s) I am sorry that you have endured pain.

I am a lucky girl, I had a mother who although at times was judgemental and overbearing, she loved me completely as she did my two older brothers and our pops.  My mother had a heart of gold that touched not only her immediate family but the many that entered her life during her 96 years.  My mom, Dorothy -D’Vasha Friedman Moss, could be as sweet as honey, and occasional not so sweet.  But what I choose to remember on this day to celebrate is the sweetness that mixes in with my tears of loss.

This is my 4th Mother’s Day that I am without my mother on this earth.  However, I feel her spirit within me and I often ask, is that my mother speaking or me?  My son Alex has created a Yiddish accent and he will regularly say, “Call your mother, she is very worried about you!”  However, I believe she is not as worried as he comically applies, because she taught me well, and I love her!  Every day is Mother’s Day as I think of my Momma and speak to her in my thoughts.  I am living each day to be the best version of myself and hopefully someday, if not today, my boys will feel the same way about me.

“She may not be perfect, but she’s my mom, and she loves me!”

#It’s Too Soon
My #STAYATHOME began on March 3, the day after my total knee replacement. Initially, it was going to be a short stay, but COVID19 changed all that.
Like many of you, I am having anxiety and bouts of depression our whole world/life has been turned upside down, shaken, and tipped over with oozing of loss. I need to stop asking questions like WHY? And If? I must accept what is, is, and make the right choices by listening to the Scientist and Health Care Professionals.
I understand that this virus has financially impacted all of us, my family and I included. However, opening our country/world before we have this virus controlled in some manner, will only create more illness and deaths.
I am considered part of that vulnerable population; if you aren’t, I am sure you know someone who is, your parents, grandparents, or another friend or relative. May I ask, do you want to see them become ill or die? I am not in the minority with my thoughts, and I hope you will see I agree we are between a rock and a hard place. We are damned if we open, we are damned if we don’t. However, the curve has not flattened enough to OPEN, and when it does, we still must be vigilant about what we do and where we go.
If you are going to be part of the openings of business, please respect the majority who do not want to get this virus, wear a mask! Give a virtual hug, avoid contact, many of us may have the virus and are unaware of it because we are asymptomatic! If the POTUS and his cronies choose not to wear a mask or take the 6-foot minimum social distancing, that is their STUPIDITY; we don’t have to follow suit. I will not go out in public and put myself in harm’s way.
I will take the precautions, and if that means I can’t get together with you physically, we will have to accept virtual visits. For all the grandparents out there I know how difficult this must be for you, not being able to visit and hug your children and grandchildren, I can’t imagine, but this is only temporary to save lives.
There is so much about this virus we still do not know; now there seem to be additional forms of this illness showing up in children (babies), the innocent.
My father was born in 1917, and the Spanish Flu Pandemic occurred in 1918. When my pops was a year old (give or take), he got very ill, not expected to live, and he was diagnosed with Scarlet Fever resulting from the Pandemic.
The illness affected his heart, causing angina pain from a very early age on. My dad lived to the age of 87. However, not without complications that he pushed through up until his last breath. The Spanish Flu affected 500,000 individuals during a time when we did not have all the medical sophistication we have today. We must learn from the past and take precautions that will save lives!


COVID19 is not over –it is as scary as ever.  According to the CDC, there have been 1,122,486 cases to date reported in the U.S. 65,735 of those cases resulted in death.  It is not just older individuals or those with compromised health issues, the Virus is not selective.  It is up to us to stop it!  You and I can be part of that process by #StayingHome  #SocialDistancing #wearingafacemask #washingyourhands #keepingyoueenviromentclean and supporting the scientist and medical professionals to do their job.

Believe me, before the Pandemic hit my husband and I worried incessantly about our income and sometimes lack of it.  Both of us were forced into retirement and although we have looked for full-time jobs for 10 years we have not been successful due to AGEISM. Yes, AGEISM is a real thing, the presumption that you have celebrated X number of birthdays for many is an indicator if you (me) are eligible for a job offer.  You and I may have more experience and are best suited for the position but our birthdate eliminates us from consideration.

Finances are an issue for many and getting back to work and securing employment is a threat to many but at what cost?  If going back to “normal” increases our odds of being exposed to the virus, I personally would rather stay at home.  I have been housebound except for an occasional doctor appointment since March 3rd the day after my knee surgery.  My husband has taken me for rides in the neighborhood but to be honest with nowhere to go I would rather take a walk, or just step outside my door and listen to the birds and the sounds of nature.

I miss having my clients come to the studio as well as going to music and comedy venues however when the time is right It will be extra special.  I don’t believe life will be the same as it was pre-COVID19.  I foresee us NEEDING to wear facemasks until a vaccine has been approved and people are taking the precaution and getting vaccinated.  We know from scientific data that vaccines for polio, mumps, measles, and chickenpox have reduced the onset of these diseases.  For those who refuse vaccines, I hope they will quarantine themselves so they don’t threaten the rest of us.

We all are going to complain about something but I would rather complain and go with the plan than bust out and die!  Think of your options the next time you don’t wash your hands, wear a mask, or refuse to socially distance yourself like a SANE PERSON!

One Step At A Time

I must write this now and I hope someone can help rid the White House of the Cancer within. I cannot believe the POTUS also known as Donald J. Trump can say the things he does. Over the last four years as he began his campaign for the highest office in the land and “accidentally” won the election (still questionable in my mind,) he has used abusive language as well as making STUPID remarks. Over the last few weeks with his daily updates, he has name called news reporters using abusive words on national television broadcasts. He stands behind a podium reading the briefings as if he cannot read and obviously has not familiarized himself with the information as he babbles through it. If asked a question he makes up an answer and then if caught with his pants down, he says WE MISUNDERSTOOD HIM!

Would you let your kids get away with the lies, vial language, and disrespect he portrays as a leader? I doubt any of us would accept this and yet so many (his Republican Cronies) condone his ignorance. DJT may not have told the American Public to inject Lysol but he suggested. Does he not understand that there are people listening to him that may not have the benefit of understanding his SARCASM! Believe me, I have watched the video several times, it was not SARCASM, he was asking his advisors to agree with him. And although they did not agree with him, they did not publicly stand up to him and his STUPID (not SARCASTIC) comment.
It is a sad situation when the Parent Company of Lysol must make a statement that it could be deadly to inject or ingest any of their products or cleaning chemicals of any kind. I respect this corporation for making sure they informed the American public that this is not even a consideration. Our scientific/medical communities globally are working 24/7 to find a cure or some form of vaccine to protect us. If our President had taken heed to the information on COVID19 when it was first brought to his attention in November, it is possible we would have lost fewer lives. This virus seems to nondiscriminatory. If you look at the statistics the percentage of recovery is higher than those that have succumbed to the illness, but those that have died or will die suffer alone! Families are separated and the support and love that often helps in healing is not available. We have learned that the first responders, nurses, doctors, and aides are making every attempt to support and comfort patients. (These individuals are truly Angels sent from Heaven!)
The reason I am writing this and most likely will continue to is to encourage each and every one of us to become mindful of what is truth and what is not. We must not be fooled into listening to someone who is supposed to be our leader who may be leading us down the wrong path. This is not about party preference. I have said this before and I will repeat it again, I did not vote for Governor DeWine, however, I appreciate that he is my State’s Leader during this Pandemic. DeWine has proven to be a mensch who will not be intimidated by the POTUS. He looks at the facts, reviews them, and works with a team of Bipartisan that are working for the US the constituents. Whether we like the facts or not, we must deal with them and if #Stay-at-home is working to #flatten the curve, we must continue to #Stay-at-home. As difficult as social distancing maybe I would rather socially distance to save my life and the lives of others.
#WEAREALLINTHISTOGETHER, that includes loss of work and income, as well as difficulty paying our bills. This is not a sacrifice any of us expected to face in our lifetime and most of us are not prepared with enough savings to carry us through. We must be creative in what we pay and how we pay it. Communicating with creditors is a must and understand they are in the same situation as you and me. This is not a time to be too proud. Let us get this behind us and create a plan when this or some other Pandemic occurs in the future. #WECANDOIT #WEMUSTDOIT

The President says “you make your own decisions.”  Our country is indeed based on a democratic society of free speech, however, it is important to base choices on facts and when it comes to COVID19!  This virus is evil and it is attacking anyone and everyone.  However, the STAY-AT-HOME orders have proven to be effective in slowing down this battle and maybe the answer to elimination.  Staying at home separated from friends and family is not easy, but it is necessary and the statistics are proving that we are slowly recovering.  If you don’t agree, please be mindful of the choices of the majority to wait this out in a #SAFEPLACE.
If you are lucky you don’t know anyone who has suffered from COVID19, however, I do.  A dear friend and healthcare worker in Michigan (Robbin, #YOUAREMYSUNSHINE,) informed her friends and family she was tired, feeling ill including breathing difficulty.  She was self quarantined after being checked and tested at the VA Hospital, yes she is also a Vet.  I am glad to report she is recovering and it’s been a long journey, she is one of the lucky ones.  However, every day I read on Facebook of another individual who is succumbing to this #nastyvirus.
Last night I was informed that the newclevelandradio.net family is mourning for one of our podcasters.  Teresa and her husband Tom.  Teresa’s mother-in-law died yesterday of #evilvirus, and in the past two weeks, this is the third family member they have lost.  I ask all of you to please keep Teresa’s and Tom’s in prayers and #STAYHOME.  The inconvenience may save someone’s life!
#WEAREALLINTHISTOGETHER and the majority of us agree with the scientific facts and the results we are experiencing.  I have been confined to the house for the last eight weeks initially for my recovery and recuperation from surgery.  If we were living in “normal” times within two weeks I would have been in outpatient rehab and well on my way to recovery.  However, due to #STAYHOME, my rehab has been delayed and my pain levels have been intensely high. I had to make choices to remain safe and keep my family from any additional exposures.  We are not living in the “normal” times now, and until we create a new normal I will have to accept the NOW!
Like you, I would love to get my roots touched up and my hair trimmed, but I must weigh the need and the impact opening up hair salons, manicure parlors, bars, and restaurants may have until it is safe. I applaud the businesses that are struggling like all of us finding ways to meet our needs and stay essential in a safe manner. To all the face mask creators – so many have found a creative talent that they may not have considered and are supplementing their income even if it means making pennies. Support your friends and neighbors and I want to shout out to two, Tracy and Kate!

Next week is May 1st, and although Ohio will begin a slow return to work and play, I applaud Governor DeWine (yes he may be a Republican and I a Democrat) who has proven to be an excellent leader during this Pandemic.  May 1st won’t look much different from today, April 24th, however, a process of returning to a #morenormal lifestyle will be in place to keep us moving forward one step at a time.

Please remember it even took GOD seven days to create the world and
He/She only had two humans to keep safe!

If you don’t know who Barbara Rose Brooker is I suggest you google her and get to know her. Barbara maybe 81 years old but she has years of living to do and she wants you to do the same. As a writer, teacher, mother, friend, she is an advocate of AGEISM. AGEISM is a noun that refers to prejudice or discrimination based on a person’s age, male or female. Have you ever found yourself in an AGEISM situation? Not old enough, too old, or some other derogatory remark!
I met Barbara, virtually when I read a snippet on her newest book, “Love Sometimes”. I knew she was someone I wanted to get to know and also share with you the listeners on newclevelandradio.net. In March we began a weekly podcast series initially called “The Rant.” After a week or so Barbara decided it sounded to ANGRY and the theme was not given justice, therefore, “ VIAGRA FALLS” identifying how life changes but we are all still living so stop judging! Yet, we decided today, after a few weeks under that name to call the podcast, “VIAGRA DIARIES,” given that it is the name of one of her books that shares the theme of AGEISM.
So today we made the title change and we will focus more on how to overcome AGEISM and we ask you too for your thoughts and comments and encourage you to contact Barbara at barbarrose@aol.com or myself, Karen at newclevelandradio@gmail.com
In the coming weeks, we will be adding either a zoom meeting or something similar to the Podcast so individuals like yourself can join in the dialogue. Watch for this information to be posted soon.

From the files of Amy Ferris

So many women and young girls are in situations right now, this minute, that are horrifically brutal. Devastatingly brutal. Domestic Violence is on an upswing. Many women and young women and young children are forced to live with violent humans and sexually abusive parents and siblings. With nowhere to go. So many of these women, young women – children – will be raped by family members; beaten and battered and raped and end up pregnant.

I say this with every ounce of me: rape is NOT pro-life. Rape is a violent act, a horrific act, it is an act that causes unbearable pain and suffering and self-hatred. It doesn’t wash away. It is NOT an act of God or God’s will. It is a full-on forceful hateful act by men (and yes, some women) whose abuse of power is to intimidate and manipulate and annihilate another human.

Right now – all across this country – because of this pandemic and being isolated and quarantined girls and women and boys are being forced to perform sexual acts that are violent and disgusting and humiliating and these women and girls and boys have nowhere to go or turn.

They will be battered for trying to leave.
They will be beaten for trying to escape.
They will be forced into submission for fighting back.

As for the girls and women, this is not PRO-LIFE shit – don’t buy it. As for the boys – this is out and out rape. This is out and out violence and cruelty; an ugliness that leaves scars and welts.

During times like this, our sisters & baby sisters, and our brothers & our baby brothers – are not screaming, they’re not even whimpering – they are kept silent.

Silence kills.

In times like these hate bubbles up, violence bubbles up, anger bubbles up; people, children, babies get hurt.

Let’s all keep an ear open, an eye open… let’s all look for signs.

Thank you so very much.

Sending you all extra love.

To Amy Ferris- As you wrote the passage below I just learned a friend of mine who tested positive for COVID19 a Hospice Care Provider is recovering – However, both of my sons have friends who lost their fathers this weekend one here in Cleveland and the other in Chicago. Just like the beautiful woman you wrote about they passed over without family or friends by their side. Alone for them as well

I don’t know where to begin because I feel like life is one huge circle now.  Over the years, I, like many of you, have experienced what I describe as traumas, and yet the void and pain were interrupted by living life and moving into the future.  Today even though I am trying to remain positive, the pain of the loss of living life as I know it has changed and I have no control over it.  There are not many positives about this pandemic except it appears we are developing into a kinder, caring society, something that got lost in the shuffle of life before COVID19.  However, feeling out of control of my own destiny haunts me especially in the wee hours of the night, waking me up feeling a sense of fear.

When the STAY at HOME orders went into effect here in Ohio, I thought (wishful thinking like a Pollyanna,) in 30 days we would be back out and about living life as we knew it.  However, thirty days have turned into sixty and sixty will not be the end.  In fact, I do not see an end, I see a transition to a different way of life.  In some instance for me it will not change much, I work from home and skyping, zoom, and conference calls are the technologies I have used for years.  However, I ask myself will I ever feel comfortable again going to a large stadium, enjoying a sport or a concert with thousands of others?  Even going to a restaurant, somewhere tables are set up one after another, sitting among strangers, wondering if a silent killer is among us (a virus.)  Or am I going to fear traveling and miss out on living?

I want to believe if Dr. Fauci’s recommendation that a slow return to living life pre COVID19 is going to be the new norm.  The baby steps will most likely be the best journey to take moving forward well keeping us safe and concentrating on what it’s to make every attempt to avoid the pitfalls.  While this may be the yellow brick road it still raises the questions of if, when, and how?  How much longer can most of us afford to pay our bills, feed our families, and maintain a healthy mental and physical existence?  Yes, we are in this together, but who will we turn to when we can no longer financially keep it together affecting our body and soul?  Many have already hit their rock bottom, and the rest of us are right behind.

Despite this sounding like doom and gloom, and my dreams of fear waking me up early each day, I am working towards the positive.  I am hopeful that we will get through this despite the loss of life.  We all seem to be within an inch of someone we know who has been affected by this Viral War.  Personally, I have had friends who have contracted this virus, and I only know of two who lost their lives to it. Both individuals who lost their battle had compromising situations, however, that does not soften the loss!  For all the others they fought fierce battles, but recovery is their reward.

So, as I begin another week of work from home, podcasting, writing, and support those that need my strength, I believe that what has become normal for the last 6 weeks here in Ohio will change again and with positive anticipation.

Today, Tuesday, April 7, 2020, I woke up at 3:30 am, it seems I am getting up earlier each day and yet I have nowhere to go as we are all still in “The Stay at Home Mode.”  Although it is nice to have a quiet sleepy house around me, it also is very lonely.  I find myself laying on the couch with a Netflix movie or show playing in the background as I lose myself in thought.  Without the drone of the TV in the background my thoughts tend to be a bit haunting, the company of voices seems to soothe my soul.

My friend Barbara Rose Brooker () speaks of Ageism, and it is this subject I tend to be reflecting on.  As a child of the 50s and 60s, I grew up with certain fears leaving me with the symptoms of anxiety and depression.  Growing up with the fear of Polio, I remember one summer when my mother would not let my brothers and I outside during the noon heat.  Mom was convinced by the data shared that we would be at risk for this crippling disease, so until sunset we were indoor kids that year.  Just about the time, the Polio fear subsided the Cold War was for ever-present and families began preparing fall out shelters and gathering goods to sustain their families if a nuclear war were to break out.  My parents did not follow suit as my Pops once said, we most likely could not prepare to survive such a war, so instead, he encouraged us to live for the moment.  *That did not prevent me from being scared!

As I reflect on the last 70 years it depresses me to think that we are in this pandemic today.  I feel like I am at the apex of life.  It may have taken me most of my years to find the person inside me that I love and like, but I have found myself and the many new friends that are so important to me.  I am living my dream as my husband and I celebrated thirty-six years of marriage in February (and I still feel like a newlywed.)  I have two grown sons, each following their dreams, living life that so many others fail to do.  Also, both my brothers are still actively engaged in my life despite one on the Westcoast and the other on the East coast.  Emails, Facebook, and telephone chats keep us connected.

When I wake up after a few hours of sleep, eyes wide open and my brain churning I plan my day as if it were a normal day, however, I am not sure I know what that word means.  My brother Gary (Westcoast) is a word maven (Scrabble™,) and if I were to ask him to identify the word, he most likely would tell me how to play off the letters if they were on a Scrabble™ board.  When we use the term, normal, we often are relating to something that is part of a standard, it’s expected often seen as a routine.

The routine for many now is spending more time on the internet either schooling themselves or with their children.  Work from home is becoming a new standard for many, and cooking at home may become a new activity for some.  Spending more time with spouses and children is either developing stronger bonds or finding the weakest link that will define us as we move forward.

My routine has been to keep busy with podcasting, blogging, connecting with new and older friends and planning for the future.  I may have turned 70 this year but I still have a lot of living to do.  Survival for me is listening to the medical professionals and Scientist, while staying home and conforming to social distances.  Even when I take my daily walk, I am cognitive of my neighbors who may be out and keeping to the 6-foot rule.  I am finding I am more social, if I can add some sunshine to someone else’s life it will brighten mine.  My routine includes showering each day identifying my outfit for the day and even using a little make-up to highlight my inner glow.  This works for me!

I am looking forward to the future to finally meet the Beautiful Barbara Rose Brooker.  When we meet, I know we will be inseparable and we will be like two teenagers talking about everything from fashion, make-up, food, and what we want to be when we grow up.  I know Barbara wants to be a movie star and I want to be a famous author like her!

My new girlfriends, including some from the past, are very important to me:  Helene Light, Teri Silverman, Norine Stewart, Sharon DeMakes, Melinda Smith, Amy Ferris, Sherry Amantenstein, Suzy Unger, Lori Sokol, Sheila Weller, Tracy Williams, Barbara Rose Brooker, and so many more… These women keep me smiling and remembering who I am and that today is not forever, but it is the present that I must unwrap and cherish.  Please share with me how you will spend the day and continue to plan for the future.

We are all in this together and yet it can feel as if we are all alone.  Each morning I wake up wanting to do something, for me, the problem begins with not sleeping well and still experiencing a lot of knee and shin pain that is also disturbing my nighttime sleep pattern.  Too often I find myself downstairs laying on the couch watching some mindless movie on Netflix and dozing, but the dozing is in spurts and not refreshing at all.  When morning arrives, I turn on Good Morning America and I hear the awful COVID 19 reports that can turn any smile into a frown.  The only routine that is the same as the pre-virus restrictions is having breakfast with my husband watching METV or some other retro programming channel.  Breakfast followed by showering and dressing for the day makes me feel somewhat in control, but shortly after that the fatigue sets in and all I want to do is take a nap.

I keep thinking I have somewhere to go, and yet I am restricted as I continue to heal from my knee replacement surgery.  Some days it feels like a double Whammy, but seriously where would I go?  Like many of you, I am hopeful and praying that we reach the apex and begin the downward climb to health.  I have no idea what life will look like when the STAY-AT-HOME restrictions are lifted but just knowing it is safe to go out will relieve the anxiety and depression I am feeling.  However, on the other hand, I also ask myself will I feel safe, will my stress levels lessen, and will it be ‘OK’ to hug someone?

I know I am looking forward to eating out, it doesn’t have to be a fancy expensive restaurant, but sitting down and ordering what I want to eat and not have to cook, serve, and clean-up.  I want to simply enjoy it.

I am looking forward to feeling safe as I travel to visits family and friends, and I know this will not happen for a while.

Although we don’t celebrate Passover or Easter in the traditional manner when the all-clear is signaled I hope to create some new traditions to carry us through the coming years.

Most of all I am praying to feel ‘normal’ again and live my life to the fullest.

The weekend is tough for me, I am used to working from home during the week and only going out for meetings or essential personal reasons.  But the weekend drags on and I find myself binge-watching shows and at the day have no idea what I was watching, and not finding any enjoyment in it.

But for now, this is life as I know it and I will make every attempt to be positive as I look forward to tomorrow.

STAY HOME – I do not want to hear that you contracted the VIRUS-COVID19 is dangerous. We have indeed heard many great recovery stories, and for that, I am hopeful that this wicked pandemic will be controlled.
However, staying home and creating a new or temporary routine is crucial. I read on Facebook this morning from a reliable source, an ER Nurse in Minneapolis, as she was home recovering from symptoms (luckily tested negative for COVID19,) her neighbors were socially entertaining outdoors, with kids playing, touching, and ignoring the warnings. For this nurse and other healthcare professionals and volunteers, First Responders, and essential workers, this was devastating, and reading it made me ANGRY.
We must stop being selfish.
I am not a fan of the POTUS, but I am a fan of his medical team plus Governor Cuomo of New York and my State Governor, DeWine. This is not political; it is about doing the right thing as outlined by the Scientist and other Professionals! When I turned 70 on March 4th, I was unable to celebrate my milestone as I was two days out of knee replacement surgery. In fact, I was one of the last elective surgeries in NE, Ohio. Although I am grateful for that, this situation is extending my recovery as the needed physical therapy I would participate in may not be safe during this outbreak period. I am not complaining as I am finding personal coping skills.
You, too, can dig down deep and find a safe journey to take going forward.
I will admit I am not a good night sleeper, often waking numerous times during 5 hours, I am usually downstairs each morning by 5 am starting my day. Upon waking, I empty the dishwasher that I run daily on sanitize.
I also re-wipe down the kitchen and in-between wash my hands numerous times. This morning I wiped down the interior of the refrigerator with sanitizing wipes as well. From my kitchen, I sit down with the ABC news playing in the background, hoping to hear that the curve is flattening and staying aware of essential communication. (Have you noticed there are some people who you may talk to during the day or connect with on FB are reciting false information or at least distorted?)
My business day begins shortly after that, updating websites that I manage and posting social media for newclevelandradio.net. I have also opened up our virtual doors and mics to YOU to share your stories, display your talent, as well as keep moving forward as we do with many of our regular podcasts. Some of our podcasters have taken a short hiatus due to online teaching requirements or family health issues. No one in our group had contacted the VIRUS, although we all know at least one person who has had.
During the day when I am not working on newclevelandradio.net, I am spending time with my husband Richard, who is the connection to the outside world as he does the grocery runs as well as pharmacy expeditions. Alex, who suffers from spring allergies, is using social distancing even here at home as he does not want anyone to think he is ill. Since his symptoms are no different than what he usually experiences in the spring and fall, he is treating them as normal. On beautiful sunny days, he does run or power walk to remain active mentally and physically healthy. We all take our temperature every day just to keep tabs on each other. We are doing our part to STAY HOME and STAY SAFE.
What are you doing?
When we get the all-clear and can leave home, will you continue to wash your hands, keep your home sanitized, and maintain the kindness you have developed during this time? Will you be less judgmental of others and accept that we may not always agree, but we can agree to disagree and listen to each other?
Will, you still be willing to give of your time and talent, or will you revert to “I need to make a buck?”
Nothing wrong with earning a living; we all deserve shelter, food, and basic needs, but sharing can be so rewarding, and if we can continue to be a community, we will SURVIVE!
We are in this together so PLEASE –

  2. WASH your HANDS
  3. KNOW the Difference between the Blahs, Allergies, A Spring Cold and COVID19
  4. REACH out to Others through Social Media, as well as calling – skyping or facetiming

Newclevelandradio.net is busy producing new podcasts and continued segments bring you the listener what you want to hear.  This week tune into:

Monday Afternoon we will post:
I will be discussing Michael’s Book and how it has touched and changed my Life!
“A person’s grief never goes away. No amount of time ever fully heals a person.”  But, we can learn to prevent some of the grief from occurring as well as constructively learn from it  Join Michael’s mission http://www.themagicoflife.com/programs/the-magic-of-life-foundation/ A monthly Podcast

Heart Mojo “Don’t Forget to Laugh” with guest, local comedian,  Austin Roberts
Heart Mojo with Melinda Smith, Offers a Special “Don’t Forget to Laugh” Each month she provides us with information that motivates her and the path that she is traveling. The content of this show is not politically or religiously based, what Melinda will be sharing her choices, your choice to choose. Join us as we turn obstacles into challenges that you can achieve. LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE.
https://www.facebook.com/melinda.s.bilfield A bi-weekly Podcast

Tuesday Evening we will post:
Paul the funny man wears many hats – check him out at https://mysteriousuniverse.org/ just one of the many outlets he shares knowledge and turns it into humor.  Paul also is a writer for http://12thstreetjump.com/ – Jazz and more!
Paul provides REAL NEWS not FAKE and we attempt to avoid POLITICS as he brings you STRANGE and Documented Information- we all need to smile and laugh! A weekly Podcast

Wednesday Afternoon we will post:

Women and men of all AGES do not miss this wonderful series brought to you by Barbara Rose Brooker who at 83 is proving that AGE is just a number and Normal is only a setting on a dryer.
A renowned writer, speaker, and the creator of the Age March https://helenetstelian.com/barbara-rose-brooker/ – Barbara brings love and humor to her podcasts.  A weekly Podcast

Thursday Afternoon we will post:
Lori Sokol, Ph.D. will be joining us to podcast on current issues.  Lori Sokol, Ph.D. currently serves as the Executive Director and Editor-in-Chief of Women’s eNews, an award-winning non-profit news organization that reports on the most crucial issues impacting women and girls around the world, reaching 2.5 million readers annually.
Women’s eNews Live will provide expert information from professionals on issues that are critically important to improving the lives of women and girls including:

  1. Equality At Work/Equal Pay
  2. Equality At Home
  3. Women’s Health (Physical & Emotional)
  4. Domestic Violence & Sexual Harassment
  5. Parenting
  6. Financial Independence
  7. Immigration
  8. Politics
  9. Diversity & Culture
  10. Sustainable Living

Live interviews will be conducted with experts on each of these topics to provide the most current and in-depth information available. A weekly Podcast

SaulPaul, reformed man, musician, speaker, advocate, and all-round nice guy like you and me!  Share in his journey and learn how anyone can make a change in their life.  Don’t let the past define you, create the person you choose to be.   http://saulpaul.com/ Inspirational messages as well as following his journey and the many individuals touched by his Redemption.  A bi-weekly Podcast

Check out all of our podcasts at https://www.spreaker.com/user/newclevelandradio

*If you have an interest in creating a podcast with newclevelandradio.net please contact us at: newclevelandradio@gmail.com it is our mission to bring relevant interesting and motivational messaging to our listeners.  #WeAreNotJustCleveland #TOGETHER_We_Are_One

Robinski was a GOOD iRobot This morning

This morning I found Robinski docked in his area just as he should be with a message to my phone that he had completed his job.  I was so happy to see him content in the dining room and not in the middle of the floor that I might trip over.  I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciated this as he has not been completing his nightly rounds for the last few nights and if I am not careful when I come downstairs he may be hiding and waiting for me to trip and fall.

Well, all I can say is I will continue to work with my little buddy and remind him that he is very important to our house and home and just maybe he will complete his nightly routine as programmed.

Robinski 3/24/20 STUCK

Have you met Robinski?
Robinski is my iRobot! 

I know most women would take it as an insult or a slight against them if their husband or children gave them an appliance for a Christmas, Chanukah, Birthday, or Anniversary gift. However, I was thrilled to receive mine, who I named Robinski. Almost immediately, I began the process of nurturing our relationship as I took him so carefully out of his housing container and found a comfortable spot in the dining area of the kitchen to reside. I read all the instructions that came with my new buddy. I had a lack of information that came with my husband and our two sons. The guidelines prepared me to bond with my new little family member and to celebrate his accomplishments.

Robinski has the run of the downstairs of our condo every night beginning at 1 am. I chose that time to provide him the freedom to roam the dining and kitchen area as well as our living room. We did set up a barrier that came with him a few weeks after he began to get into some electrical cords under the TV cabinet, and another one under a chair that he would get stuck under. I thought his getting stuck was due to Robi just being funny and giving me something extra to do each day as he played hide and seek with me.

Robinski 3/25/20 Stuck -Hiding under the table

However, this buddy of mine has a mind of his home. I think he wants more attention because he will go about doing his nightly cleaning and get back to his docking station 50% of the time, but the other 50% he gets himself stuck, often just stopping in the middle of the room. Now I love my Robinski because 50% of the time, he is excellent, but the other percentage of time he is annoyingly frustrating. I have tried talking to him in a soothing voice, non-critical, so as not to insult his stupidity for getting stuck in the middle of the room. I mean, I understand if he got in a corner or under furniture that might not be so much his fault as the mine, but! However, that hasn’t worked.

I’ve even tried having Robi listen to The Intentionality Guru’s podcast, hoping that he may see a need to change or reconsider some of his actions based on learning from his errors. Still, no luck, he sits in his docking station, and I assume he is ignoring this opportunity to improve. (Sorry Candace, iRobots, or at least mine refuse to accept responsibility!)

Robinski 3/26/20 Sitting in the middle of the living room

So now I am reaching out to my public and asking for assistance. I love Robinski, but we need some help. If anyone has any suggestions on how I can get him to be more responsive, please email me at newclevelandradio@gmail.com . I promise I will continue to share the trials and tribulations of my buddy!

I am taking this quote from my FRIEND, Tracy William’s FB Page: “Life is not shutting us down. It is waking us up. This is not pulling us apart; it is pulling us together. This is our moment in time. I am not fearful. I am determined.” -Dr. Amy Acton
Dr. Amy Acton is the voice of reason and grace as she heads up the Department of Ohio Health, as the Public Health Director. When Dr. Acton speaks, she voices the facts in a manner to lessen our fears but to strengthen our resolve. There are many other health officials out in our public arena that are faltering over their words as the issue on hand continues to spiral. But Amy is correct that this pandemic is pulling us together. We are becoming kinder and gentler and washing away the difference as we make every attempt to beat this Virus.
On this Sunday night (3/22/20), as we prepare for a State-Wide Shutdown for many of us, it will be no different than yesterday or the day before but to keep us safer and to flatten the curve fewer people will be out and about and loitering in groups will not be allowed. However, the internet, through Facebook, Instagram, Facetime, Skype, and Zoom to name a few, can bring us together to share our morning coffee, a glass of wine, or even celebrate a virtual birthday or birth.
We must think with optimism and wipe the gloom and doom away. Begin with you and your family mending bridges and tying the bonds that may have loosened over time. Look around you and use your time to do what you thought you didn’t have time for yesterday or the previous day. Read, sing, play an instrument, paint, draw, build, clean, and tell someone, even yourself, “I Love You!” Share your joy, allow that to be the contagious germ.

Sunday, March 22, I don’t know about you, but I am not a good sleeper, and for the past six-plus months nursing my knee pain and now recuperating from surgery has added to my struggle, plus COVID19. No, I do not have the virus nor does anyone in my immediate family, but I am learning that some distant relatives (car providers) may have been exposed, and this brings the pandemic closer to home. We are living in scary times; however, we are not the first group of generations to experience a crisis.
I believe this time it is different because we are interconnected through the world-wide-web.
If you go back to World War II, information was not immediate to the world public, and each government treated the news in their partisan manner. That is not true today, and this is what makes this situation real! For those who believe this is FAKE NEWS or some form of hoax for the upcoming elections, you need to take your head out of the sand.
There is nothing FAKE about it, and the sooner we all do our part to flatten the curve, a new term many of us are using, the sooner we can get back to living a new normal.
Life will never be precisely the same as we knew it to be months ago. What we have learned through this is to become more mindful and less reactionary.
If we can work together with the scientist, the artist, laborer, and individuals in-between, it is possible that we can stop tragedies from happening, learning from the past and becoming a proactive global society. The term new normal was sharing with me about 7 or 8 years ago when I was interviewing a mom who had lost her son to childhood cancer. This mother shared her story with tears in her eyes while using the passing of her son as a catalyst to love deeper. She identified herself as a mother of five, even though her son, who no longer walked this earth, was still her child. Tyler was not set up on a pedestal to mourn but to learn from the heartbreak of loss and turn it into every lasting life. She works with other families who are going through a similar journey as she and her family offer them hope for recovery and experience in a new normal for them.
Normal is only a setting on a dryer, and there is nothing else that compares to that. We each are brought into this world with specific attributes through our DNA, but it is up to each of us to explore life and set forth on the path with the first step we make as toddlers. Others may guide each level after that, but it is up to use how to explore what lays ahead.
To flatten the curve, it means to take steps to stop something from escalating, and one way we can do that is through social PHYSICAL distancing. Just as if you had the flu, the chickenpox, or the measles, you would seclude yourself from others to prevent transmission. It is even more vital that we do that with COVID 19. This is our opportunity to come together (virtually) and spread the healthy emotional and physical vibes to ensure we conquer this pandemic.
We must stop spreading rumors of false hope and place our projections out into the world, creating anxiety, depression, or worse. It is up to the scientist and doctors to direct us with the most current knowledge and facts they are gathering during this time.
Am I angry that our President and his Clan held information back from us for months before attempting to act – YES, I AM!
Am I angry that our President is pompous to believe he is holding a cure (in his vest pocket) for us while the Scientist and Medical Professionals admit that they are hopeful but not ensured – YES, I AM!
Am I angry that our President is lying to us that when this is resolved (there may not be an end-all to this) that our economy will be stronger than ever – YES, I am!
These are just a few things that anger me and keep me up at night, but I refuse to give up hope that we will be sequestered in our homes indefinitely. I want to believe the new standard will be a kinder gentler population of individuals.
I want to believe the new forms of communication will be used to help lessen our threatening situations in life.
And most of all, we continue to wash our hands!

Monday, March 16th in the year 2020 and life is so surreal.  I wake up after a restless night’s sleep realizing I am not still dreaming.  Although I am somewhat housebound recuperating from my total knee replacement, with COVID 19 the focus of our global society, we are all in lockdown or should be.  We can sit and complain about where this disease got started and how it continued to spread without much action to stop it or we can act now.  I know I sound like a broken record but until we accept the status quo and do our part to create a change, nothing good will happen.  We cannot assume we will wake up from this nightmare overnight, therefore we must find a way to learn from it and capitalize on being part of the solution.

Social distancing is not a new concept and many young people are scratching their heads at the rest of us as this is the way they communicate and create lasting relationships in this world of technology.  It is not the millennial generation causing the havoc, it is their parents and grandparents who don’t want to be inconvenienced.  These are the same individuals that used TV, video games, and computers to occupy their children when they were young.  And we wonder why this generation of young people lack face to face communication skills.  The millennials will get through this crisis with ease and little scaring as many of their older counterparts will not.

Kudos to those that have created the internet, streaming communications to keep us entertained as well as in the know.  We now have this opportunity to create a venue that will reach not just one person but an infinite number of people who may be feeling left out and alone.  Performing a favorite song, reading a book for others to sit and listen to and enjoy is just one way to connect.  Bakers, artists, designers can offer up YouTube videos providing instruction and interactive communication.  If you have any opinions on a subject, a craft or business to share during these stressful times, newclevelandradio@gmail.com would like to feature you in your own podcast.  We care about making a difference, one person at a time.

The Ides of March
It is 12:52 am on this Sunday morning and I cannot sleep.  I was warned that after knee surgery insomnia is normal, and yet I have experienced this poor sleep pattern for years but now it is at his worse.  I try to stay in bed and relax an allow myself to doze off again for another 15 -20 minutes spending a 6 – 8-hour cycle of up again, down again exhausted me even more.  However, this morning I chose to come into the studio office to share the following:

Prior to my surgery on March 2, 2020, I made every attempt to be actively engaged and independent as I had been warned I would have limitations after a total knee replacement.  Despite the warnings and all I learned through the educational materials UH Hospital and Dr. Petersilge provided me with, I am still not as prepared or willing to accept the changes I am feeling physically, mentally, as well as emotionally.  Someone on Facebook told me I was lucky to be recuperating now as we as being shut-in, hunkered down to wait out the seize of this virus.  May I remind this person and anyone else that believes this, I am not sitting around waiting for the SKY to Fall!  I am not being reckless in where I may go nor exposing myself to others who may be.  But, as nice as our condo is, comfortable and clean, it can feel like a jail cell if I can’t walk (hobble) around the front yard or take a ride to DQ for an evening treat.

Changes are inevitable and despite what we may be told prior to tomorrow, nothing remains (exactly) the same.  I think I mentioned this in a previous blog but growing up in NW Detroit I believed I too would marry within my faith, live within blocks of my parents and friends, share in daily activities as well as holidays and times of distress like now.  However, what I thought in my mind and planned in my heart turn many detours over the years and I have never lived near my side of the family nor my childhood friends.  My fate took me to several different locations, and as a married woman, I lived in the same area as my in-laws and the friends of my spouse.  I carried an olive branch with me for many years and offered the comfort and safety of my home to others while not receiving the same in return.

Over the years I evolved from being open, kind and loving, to experiencing rejection and regret, isolating myself from what I needed, people!

When I opened my eyes one morning with tears running down my cheeks, I realized that no one, not you or anyone else can make me happy.  You may add to my delight and the experiences I perceive, but I must have the open heart and mind to feel the emotions that make me smile.  Also, you can’t make me unhappy unless I allow your negativity to filter into my mind-body, and soul.  If I choose to allow that, it is my decision and mine alone to deal with.  Others may attempt to guide me to a bright spot and if a hand is extended, I will be glad to accept the challenges that change us.

Change is not bad, it’s in our human nature to make detours while look for the path that compliments us the most..today this is just another part of my journey.  Join me or take the fork in the road.

Thirteen is a Lucky#
Friday the 13th! If my parents taught me one thing, the Omen that comes with this day are brought on by the negative thinkers. On Friday, December 13, 1974, my father was scheduled for open-heart surgery at the then, Harper Hospital in Detroit. My dad’s Cardiologist was Dr. Lee, an excellent Chinese individual who was God’s gift to Pop’s extended health. Through his guidance, he led my father to an excellent Heart Surgeon (I can’t remember his name…) who performed a multiple by-pass on my father. At the time living in Michigan, individuals who needed this new surgical technic were coming to Cleveland Clinic. Yet, my parents saw something in these two compassionate for life medical men. I stress this because what Jewish man in the day would pick a Chinese doctor and a surgeon with a stutter? I remember my brother Gary in his dry wit, saying, he hoped his hands didn’t stutter… and they did not. Despite the procedure being 12 hours plus and ICU for weeks back in the early 70s, the slow recovery my Pops made, was a miracle for a man who had suffered his entire life with Angina and other heart ailments. Yet, my father’s heart was so big those he met for a minute liked him and his words, “Words by Harmon.” Friday the 13th gave us another 30 years of love one-on-one with my dad! Nothing wrong came from that day; in addition to the extension of my father’s life, we learned to look past the difference of others and embrace them for their strengths!
Over the past eleven days, my positive thinking and reassurance have been challenged, but I did not give up. I knew total knee replacement was not going to be a ‘walk in the park.’ Whether I or anyone else wants to accept it, it is a major surgery that removes a part of your natural body, the kneecap, and all the destroyed cartilage, replacing it with a mechanical knee (not really bionic) that is attached to the femur and the tibia. Watching the video on knee replacement, you can see how the operative leg (knee) is manipulated during the surgery, and the bruising one may expect. For me, this included swelling and black and blue discoloration from my groin area to the tips of my toes on the right side of my body.
Initially, after surgery, I could feel nothing from the spinal and nerve block, a little worrisome but normal!!!! For the first twenty-four, I thought I was a Superwoman experiencing little or no pain, but soon after returning home 24 plus hours later, the nerve block wore off, and the tightness and pain increased. I’m not too fond of medication as I have had little success with narcotics, and many of the over counter pain meds either upset my stomach or increase my migraines, trading one pain for another obstacle.
Today, March 13, 2020, I believe I am turning the proverbial corner my brother Joel asked me about the other day. Following my post-op appointment and some of the challenges from the past couple of days, I took a more holistic approach to my extended recovery. 

Virtually one step at a time. 

Celebrating each step and the future of my new partner through life, my potential is to reduced pain. “The metals used in artificial knees are alloys of cobalt-chromium and titanium. The bearing portion of the joint is made of a high-grade, wear-resistant plastic. The metal-plastic bearing combination is the most common type used in knee replacement implants worldwide.”
This is in addition to my ageless body, which includes a rod and screw in my left femur/hip that repaired a break in 2015, as well as a titanium implant in my left reconstructed eardrum. Despite the cost, pain, and downtime, this may have caused me over the years it has also provided me with a better quality of love, embracing myself to go the next mile.
As of this coming week, I will begin a journey with one of my favorite people in the whole world, Barbara Rose Brooker, who be podcasting “The Rant” with us on newclevelandradio.net  https://www.spreaker.com/show/the-rant-with-barbara-rose-brooker . Just as beauty is skin deep, so is the power to overcome physical and emotional deep-seated issues. We will discuss many topics and encourage you to join in. A knee replacement is not because I am old or older; it is because of the wear and tear of a body part through misuse, accident, or genetics needing repair.
A rod and screws in my femur/hip have nothing to do with my sixty-fifth birthday in 2015, but the fact that I stepped wrong and slipped on a large patch of ice. And the loss of my hearing was more genetic than age as I suffered from adult ear drainage issues. Unlike a toddler having tubes to correct the problems, the tubes in my ears developed a more significant dilemma, hearing loss.
As I recover and continue to grow newclevelandradio.net with all of you, I will cherish the new parts that will provide a better quality of life and allow me to spend my days make each day a better day for us all.


This is not about you or me – It is about all of us – Globally!  Do not be Selfish now is the time to make the changes to sanitize our lives.
We are still living and breathing, and it is up to us to stop the panic and work within the limitations to prevent, control, and destroy the VIRUS before we are anymore infected. It may not be easy to accept these limitations because we (just like the millennial generation) have grown to expect the freedom of choice, which often includes instant gratification. I may not trust President Trump, and there is a little bit of suspicion that if anyone could be part of this Pandemic, it is HE and the people he plays with to control the world. However, he is not the only one who has made these recommendations to enforce the closings of schools, as well as multi-million-dollar sports franchises, to name a few of the changes we will are facing during this ERA of The Corona Virus.
Now is the time for us to come together and become strong, share with our family and friends, and stop the greed. Many (I believe a majority of us) will be facing financial deficits that we may never resolve. Whatever days, weeks, months, or years we have left on this earth will change drastically; however, as a community, we can stop the bleeding and become kind and caring humans!
The Coronavirus is not just affecting the poor and less fortunate of the world; it has no discrimination. However, we can discriminate on how it affects us. Sanitary conditions are necessary, and limiting the infectious spread of germs is paramount. We have become complacent as we cough and sneeze into the air, forgetting the hygiene rules we all have been taught as children. Washing hands is simple, cough, or sneeze into the crook of your elbow., not into the open space.
If you are sick, do not go to work, and yes, Risk a bastardly employer who may fire you for protecting their company and staff members.
A vast majority of us work virtually or socialize in this manner, so make the most of this time and keep yourself healthy and be kind unto others.
Newclevelandradio.net would like to begin a forum of discussions on how we can do this. It starts with getting the facts straight from the CDC. You may feel like our government has taken you hostage, but consider what will happen if we gather at sporting events, concerts, plays, shopping malls, etc.
Let us keep our exposure at a minimum.
If you are a religious person, YOUR GOD will hear your prayers from your home. Sitting in a beautiful Church, Synagogue, Masque, or Sanctuary is not as important as allowing spiritual guidance to comfort you.
If we take these steps to stop the spread of this horrific disease threat, we will once again gather in peace and harmony.

A Happy Salute to Barbara Rose Brooker – 70 is not old!
March 1, 2020, just three more days until I turn 70! I must say there once was a time that I thought 70 was old. I feared the fact that I would get old, wrinkled, weathered, and have nothing to show for it! Ok, I was not born with a spoon in my mouth, and when my mother went to work full-time in the early 60s, I became the family’s, “Matilda.” At the age of 10ish, I realized that my mom needed some additional assistance around the house, and I began to take on certain house chores to help her out. My two brothers at the ages of 14 and 18 were not much help. My brother Gary at the age of 18, did learn how to do his laundry; and a pile of it was always somewhere in his room. The same place he shared with Joel, who had plenty of dirty clothes lying around the same room.
I avoided their room because if I dared move anything out of place (out of the piles), I would get more than my hand slapped. However, I learned at an early age to be a Balabusta, a good housekeeper. However, if mom were still around today, she would tell you I was the only one of her kids that washed dishes that always looked dirty. (I refuse to accept that!) In some ways, I grew up quickly being a latchkey kid before the term was invented and feeling the responsibilities of keeping my family happy, doing chores.
Growing up quickly also included getting married at 21, before either my first husband or I was ready. However, in the 60s and 70s, it was not unusual for couples to marry young and begin producing their family. When we realized we were not a match made in heaven, nor would we ever be, we divorced as I approached the age of 30, and I was a youngish single mom. Not knowing how to be alone again, it was both difficult to date and be a mom and ex-wife. I was lost until I met my best friend, my soulmate, my husband of 36 years, Rich.
Rich is not a gift-giver on the special days designated on the calendar. He overwhelms me with flowers, just because or recommends a special night out, knowing it may be a stretch in the budget or encourages me to buy what I want, not necessarily needed.
My husband is my precious package in life who not only helped raise my oldest son, Steve but has been a loving father to our late in life production, Alex.
I am 3 weeks older almost to the minute of Richard, yet he has kept me young as we have both encouraged each other to stay on top of technology, the arts, and life as it is.
Because of my husband, when I met Barbara Rose Brooker, I knew “The Rant” her podcast with me, and newclevelandradio.net was kismet. Barbara is a proud 83-year young woman who continues to express and impress those she meets. I, like Barbara, have refused the yearly birthday number to get in my way to move forward and create something new and exciting.


I am fortunate that I have inherited the genes of my Baube, Ida Oleshanky Freedman, and my mother, Dorothy “D’Vasha” Freedman Moss. At the age of 96, most people mistook my mother as someone 20 years younger. I know I spoke about my mother yesterday, but to share one more comment, as my brother Joel noted, my mother always had something to say about everything and everyone.
She was a brilliant woman who did not always recognize her smarts. Her artistic talents, and her ability to smile and shine, are still felt by all who knew her. (I only hope I have inherited some of those genes as well.)
On Wednesday, when I turn 70, I will have a new right knee to go along with a rod and screw in my left hip and a titanium implant in my left ear. My added parts will provide me the ability to keep exploring my options. I will continue to meet new dear friends, love my family, and work to bring kindness to the audiences that listen to our podcasts at https://www.spreaker.com/user/newclevelandradio -click on the menu podcasts and this is just the tip of the iceberg for 2020!
I ask you all to stop looking at the year you were born of the number of years you have been on earth, if you do it right there is tomorrow so be part of the bigger picture and let the world know you are not OLD!  Join The Rant with Barbara Rose Brooker https://www.amazon.com/Love-Sometimes-Novel-Hollywood-Controversial/dp/1642934127

Today is February 29, 2020 
On March 1, 2015, when my Momma celebrated her 23 3/4th years or her 95th Birthday with friends and family, she spoke out as any D’Vasha would! My mother proclaimed she wanted to live to be 100 years old, and she was going to hang around to nag us. You see, my mother was a Leap Year Baby, one of the lucky ones who aged every four years.
Someone in the group, maybe me, asked why is 100 important, and she answered with pride, “The president will send me a letter of proclamation on that day, and The Today Show will announce my name on national TV.”
Going forward, just about six months, my mother informed us she still wanted to reach her 100th Birthday, kvetching and enjoying life with her friends at Jewish Senior Live (West Bloomfield Hills) and watching her children, grandchildren, and great grands fulfill their dreams. But, if the pattern that was emerging and Donald Trump ran for and won the presidency, she would not want him to mention her name or proclaim her “anything!” For the next year and a half, she discussed this with me every week when we spoke (I live in Ohio, Momma resided in Michigan.) Some of her conversations got a bit heated often ignited by a daily conversation she had with my brother Joel, who would call her while listening to CNN of MSNBC news, debating with the individuals on the news often discussing the emergence of TRUMP. My mother may have experienced early dementia episodes. When it came to politics and her country; she was adamant that she would never vote for “a shtik drek” (a piece of shit in Yiddish!) Mom was first-generation American and her parents, my Baube and Zayde migrated from Russia where they witnessed evil living in the pogroms and observing the raids by the Cossacks.
August 2, 2016, my beautiful mother suffered a stroke that left her blind. She was now 96 years young, or 24 Birthdays younger! Initially, the stroke only affected her sight; however, her brain told her she could see. Due to her age and the possibility of yet another stroke, her medical team implored upon us not to inform her she was blind. By the time I arrive in Michigan to be with my mom, almost 12 hours after her stroke, she was sitting up in bed having a conversation with her granddaughter Sue as if it were a ‘normal’ day. But for me, this was anything but ordinary.
This is the second day in my life I fell in love with my mother. The first day was on March 4, 1950, when she held me in her arms as a newborn, and I felt safe and loved. On August 2, 2016, it was my turn to take her in my arms and make her feel safe. It was on that day that my heart filled with so much compassion and love for this beautiful, strong tongued lady. Sometimes her words may have convinced you she was a bigot, but in truth, my mother opened her heart to many.  

In Judaism, we have a tradition of Tzedakah- Tzedakah is charity. Even when my mother had little for herself she was a giving person, whether putting her change in the ‘Pushke” the charity box or baking or providing her sewing skills, mom was always volunteering to be the help so many needed.
Mom knitted caps for newborn babies, produced rag dolls for the underprivileged children, and was a rocker for babies born with drug addiction and or in need of love.
After a week in the hospital, we chose to bring mom home. My brother Joel, cousin Kayla, and I spent some time looking at facilities that might be appropriate for mom. But after a day of total contemplation the decision was made to let mom live out her days at home, Joel and I chose to stay in Michigan and be there to oversee her care with professional caregivers on hand. Since mom was mentally alert, we could not see how rehabilitation or being moved to a facility where she would live out her short life ahead made any sense. Yes, the doctors informed us that mom would most likely spend her days, weeks, months bedridden, but it was up to us to provide her with a journey that would be painless and peaceful.
One thing I learned during the 12 weeks we shared with mom was to follow her lead. If she told me she liked my red blouse when I was wearing a black shirt, I would thank her or ask why she likes it. Mom drifted from mental competency to early signs of dementia, but for 10 of the 12 weeks, she was aware of the 2016 election, and each day she would ask if Trump was going to win. Both Joel and I continued to assure he would not (I hated lying to her!) When her absentee ballot arrived, she was very aware.
When she voted Joel, one of her trusted caregivers, and I were in the room with her. She reminded us that her vote was private. Joel sat next to her and read her the ballot and helped her fill it out as we witnessed her making choices. SHE DID NOT VOTE FOR THE TRUMPSTER!
The next weeks seem to be a blur because soon after her RIGHT to vote, mom slowly slipped away from us. Our conversations were more about the past than the future, but she did often repeat that we should not vote for TRUMP, this stuck in her brain!
My mother passed away on October 11, 2016, Joel and I were with her as she took her last peaceful breath along with one of her favorite caregivers. I sat by her side through the ritual of Hospice coming in to confirm her non-vital signs, the local police to ask questions to rule this as a natural death, and the Compassionate Ira Kaufman Staff who transported my Momma to prepare for her journey to join my Pops, her parents, brothers, sisters, and her special niece, Gloria, who passed away weeks before Momma. We laughed that when mom arrived in Heaven, she would be surprised that Gloria was there waiting for her too.
So today, as I “Remember Momma,” I will celebrate her Birthday as she would have been 100 years young today. What she didn’t know was that when Trump was elected president (Poo, Poo – Spitting on Evil,) Heir Trump discontinued sending Birthday Proclamations to Centurions.


However today I Proclaim my mother would be 100 years YOUNG and this would be her 25th Official Birthday.

I want to share a revelation with you! For most of my life (I will be 70 on March 4, 2020), I have been somewhat sheltered.

Most of my family was healthy and hearty, as were my friends. My grandmother seemed to have heart attack after heart attack, I spent many late nights as a youngster sleeping in the lobby of Harper Hospital in Detroit; however, by the time we arrived she was on the road to a quick recovery. My father also had heart problems (Angina), and yet he too was never down for the count too long. Even though I have had some health issues, knocking on wood, they have all been minor in comparison to what I have been experiencing through friends and family.
As many of you have read through my blogs and posts on Facebook I will be experiencing a knee replacement on Monday, March 2, my birthday gift this year is a new knee, almost as special as a new diamond ring, but much more useful. However, since mid-2019 I have witnessed directly or indirectly friends and family members battling CANCER (FUCK IT!); lost of spouse, parent and or children, learning of a diagnosis of Dementia or Alzheimer’s, making adjustments to divorce; and the responsibilities of being an adult in the crazy world that seems to be imploding around us. My problems and issues in life are minimal in comparison to so many that I love and care about. Some of the people I am referring to above I have known most of my life while some are new friends that I call family because of the bond we have created. It doesn’t get more comfortable when the person is older, because as my friend Barbara Rose Brooker says, mature and older are just words. Age has nothing to do with illness, death, and dying!
I am very proud of the growth of newclevelandradio.net. Although it is not the initial concept that my son Alex envisioned when we supported the venture of the internet podcasting media, it has taken on a form of its own. We provide a variety of podcasts that are meant to give the listener guidance to find their inner strengths and happiness. We all can get through the day with a smile on our faces and in our hearts even when it feels broken. We have the opportunity to heal the pain by keeping the positive moments in focus. We decide if we are happy or sad!
Locally, weather forecast Beth McLeod has been an inspiration in my life. Her husband, who was more significant than life, Fred McLeod, died in 2019. His passing was sudden, and the city of Cleveland and beyond felt the loss and pain along with Beth. Beth took the time she needed privately, and when she returned to Fox8, it was with grace and glory. When I read her words on Facebook or watch her give the weather report, I see a woman who may be struggling but has continued to live wholly and happily.|
Fresher, in my mind, is Vanessa Bryant, who spoke so eloquently at the memorial for her husband and daughter. A loss of a spouse is painful, and to lose both a spouse and child must be devastating. On the day of the crash, as I sat glued to my TV, I could not imagine did not want to imagine how she was coping. However, she is a role model who will show many of us that despite the pain of loss, we must go on. Those that have passed on would not want us to live in a state of limbo.

Another person who has touched my life is Amy Ferris, a fierce woman who has lived it, and continues to pursue happiness even when she uses her infamous “fucking language.” From a young child to a mature woman, she had embraced the ups and downs of life and has journeyed to keep climbing the mountain. Her soulmate iKen is her sidekick, partner, lover, and mate for eternity. If you read her blogs and posts, you may scratch your head and ask how she has accomplished all she has with the greatest love for REAL PEOPLE. I am blessed to be part of her circle, and I will never break the chain!

My friends Sherry Amatenstien, Suzy Unger, and the extraordinary Barbara Rose Brooker have been helping me heal from the loss of my mother three-plus years ago (my mom would be 100 this Saturday, February 29.) These women, including Amy, have allowed me to pour out my heart to begin to understand loss, and how loss can make you stronger, healthier, and even happier. What I do today is not just for me but for my mom, and dad who instilled in me to look in the mirror and see what others saw in me.
It’s FUCKING challenging to hear about the Tsuris (problems, pain) others are experiencing, but as a friend and compassionate person, I leave my shoulder open for you.

We open our hearts to you on newclevelandradio.net, and I believe I am more durable and better because of all of you!

I am listening to a podcast by Pre Coffee/Pre Wine: “REDEMPTION” hosted by Amy Ferris and Teresa Stack and their guest, Henriette Ivanans- McIntyre and I am so pleased that they are sharing their talents and influences with us.  Henriette is an extremely eloquent individual sharing her life stor(ies). (https://www.henrietteivanans.com/)

“In Pillness and in Health” and is a journey about finding her path.  She discusses that sharing stories is always us to recover and redeem ourselves.  We all have done bad things and doing bad does not necessarily mean we are bad people.  In fact, the majority of us are not good!  We must walk through our pain to recover and feel better.  We must forgive ourselves before we can expect others to forgive us.

When you listen to Amy and Teresa walk their guest through this episode it is amazing how I can find my life being shared in bits and pieces.  Unlike Henriette, I am not a medication or alcohol addict, but I have been an addict to my thoughts, and there are similarities.  We must work through our steps to find inner peace.  My drug of choice was negativity and it was destructive!  But I took the path to positivity, even when others were reminding me of the “bad things” I did in the past, at least that was what I was hearing!

What this conversation is providing for me is an honest dialogue that we can redeem ourselves and find the beauty in the dawn of each new day!

Thank you, Amy and Teresa, for being part of the newclevelandradio.net family!

I watched the debate last night, although it was not how I learned how to debate while in school as a communication major. Instead, it was an argument that one might witness in the boardroom or a bar. Sadly, we have not learned how to communicate civilly and present the facts to evaluate fairly and thoroughly. I see no reason to raise voices and accuse each other of wrongdoings unless the circumstances are stated or referred to so we the voters can confirm if the truth was presented or if we heard evil assumptions.

If last night’s debate was supposed to separate the Democrats from the Republicans, what it did was show us that those running for public office are all the same just with a different name badge. OK, don’t ruffle your panties, I am not voting Republican unless someone with integrity can step in and beat out Trump. I am betting on those left on the stage last night will come together behind closed doors and collaborate on beating Trump with honesty and a realistic vision to bring this country back together again.
We will never have everything we want! Health Insurance and Medical Care must improve, but it is not going to happen overnight. We must use what we have and build upon it and accept as we move forward, there will be forks in the road that we may need to detour down to make additional changes.
100% will never be happy, but we have to bring a majority together and assist the minority as well. In addition to health care, attempting to make wealth more even will take stronger individuals willing to work from the bottom up. The upper echelon must recognize these people (you and me) and pay us fairly as we make money for them. We should be paid for our efforts, shortening the discrepancy.
What I am suggesting is using common sense.
We have several good competent candidates running for President, and I am not including Donald Trump, who has proven himself to be incompetent. The Democrats need to discuss global warming in a manner that we all can understand. Eliminating emissions control will destroy the atmosphere. Look at what has happened over the past and how EPA control can make our world healthier- we may not be able to repair the OZONE layer. Still, we can keep from destroying it and us! Again, one step at a time. Recycling is not difficult. As a child of the ’50s, we had to separate garbage and trash. One day a week, the city picked up garbage and, on another trash, – trash is today’s recycling! We have paper and cardboard drop-offs in most towns, and it’s not difficult to pack this up in your car and recycle if you don’t have a community pick-up where you live.
Additionally, my sister-in-law TL (https://www.terri-lynnpellegriphotography.com/) has guided me to compost. I don’t have a real compost area where I live, but I use my coffee, tea, and eggshells, and biodegradable items to feed my garden. Just that little bit is a step towards a cleaner environment.
The Democrats and those on the fence who are not happy with the last four years need to communicate and stop using evil speech. Evil speech has become part of our daily conversation, and we need to focus on the positives. I applaud Senator Warren for calling out Bloomberg, “Elizabeth Warren skewers Michael Bloomberg, calling him ‘a billionaire who calls women fat broads and horse-faced lesbians.'”
Bloomberg is just another billionaire like Trump – Trump was a Democrat turned Republican, and Bloomberg, a Republican, became Democrat. Right now, it is not about Dems versus Reps; it is about getting Trump out of the White House and creating a playing field that will allow us to be free Americans!
Evil speech kills. I was bullied as a kid, and I have been bullied as an adult. As an adult, I was told by a woman that she would not choose me to be her friend, but since we had sons on the Autism Spectrum, she would have coffee with me! Really???
I don’t need anyone’s pity; you and I need awareness and passionate consideration. We are all in this life together. For all, we know this is the only chance we have, so let’s do it right.
Please open the door for another, be kind, smile, and in return, don’t expect anything; it takes time and work.

I am always proud to share information on the incredible Amy Ferris, “Post Coffee/Pre Wine” REDEMPTIONS https://www.spreaker.com/show/post-coffee-pre-wine-amy-ferris-teresa-s

From Lyena Strelkoff:

Every woman I know plays A LOT of roles in life. Mother, daughter, mentor, artist, wife, activist, business owner… And it’s very easy to get lost in these identities. Even when we are doing the “right” work and we’re in the “right” relationships, it’s incredibly easy to become defined by our roles and separated from our Essential Self.

But living like that leaves us depleted, uninspired and exhausted. That’s why I have created Coming Home and invited Amy Ferris to join me.

It’s a two-day, non-residential retreat meant to facilitate a return to who you really are. Beneath all the good roles you play, the stories you tell yourself, the world you’re holding up on those brave shoulders. It’s meant to nourish you WAY DOWN DEEP, with a beautiful, natural setting; delicious, nourishing food; stillness; ceremony; sisterhood; and the soulful work of writing your way back to what is real and right, to what matters: TO YOU.

It’s a writing workshop, yes, but with a deeply healing intention. A sanctuary for your soul. March 14 and 15, 10 – 5 both days, at a private home in the foothills of the northern San Fernando Valley; $425

I’ve asked this question before; have you ever been depressed? Depression does not mean you are suicidal or manic; what it refers to is a feeling difficult to describe, and often we cannot pinpoint the exact cause/reason for this mood swing. Statistically, we know abuse, of any kind, can lead to a life of depressive thoughts that often are triggered by sights, sounds, and fragrances. Medication can cause a temporary or even long-term cycle as well as food. Loss is another, whether by break up, death, or separation of some form.
Today I woke up feeling lost and depressed. I cannot put my finger on it, and I’ve been trying all day to appear fine, but my brain doesn’t want to go there. I’m tired, physically, and emotionally, yet I want to keep working, doing, and stepping forward in my journey, but the weight of something is pulling me down. I know depression, and I have experienced it a good majority of my life.
I allowed it to control me, and as a child, I was a crier. I felt like the world was against me, and when I didn’t feel that low, I didn’t allow myself to enjoy the moment, or as we say today to be mindful. The only way I knew how to function was to make someone else happy, I was the pleaser, and yet it was destroying me from the inside out, hence the tears!
My depression is under control, and I know that today is a blue day, not powder blue with white angelic clouds, but a dark teal almost black and storm-like. Yet, my body and mind are not hunkering down for protection; instead, I am battling through this fog. It’s real, and I can’t explain it, and I wish people would not ask me to.
Allow me my day (or two) to spear the dragon and get back to the calmer side of life. But know this can rear its angry flame breathing mouth at any time, it may be with a blink of an eye, a word uttered, or not. You will know when I am experiencing this storm because I will not be looking for perfection, I will have to face the demon first and return to a more tranquil existence when I have concurred it!
Please don’t count me out…I know you have had these feelings too!

Life goes on even if we choose not to take a walk down the path. Each morning when we awaken, we are greeted with a new day. We can treat each day as a gift, or we can trash it. I prefer to look at the sunrise as another chance to “Get It Right.”
Over the last couple of months, I have been faced with some health issues that are minor in the comparison of so many others I know. I refuse to allow a black cloud to hang over my head, and instead, I would rather open-up my eyes each morning and celebrate the person I have become. I used to be that whoa is me person, a Kvetch, as my father would say. That persona did not reduce my pain and troubles but instead fed the angst that poured from the inside out. It wasn’t until my oldest brother Gary kick me in the proverbial ass that I made changes and began getting it right.
Candace Pollock reminds me to observe where the feelings begin and trace them.  https://www.spreaker.com/show/the-intentionality-gurus-candace-pollock –
Bi-weekly newclevelandradio.net hosts Candace Pollock and The Intentionality Gurus, where we work through a personal coaching session. I have learned so much about myself over the past two years by delving into myself while I observe, think, process, and make the changes I desire…
When my mother passed in October 2016, my brothers and I shared that we were now the patriarchs and matriarch of our family. The generations before us had passed on, and now we are the elders. However, that does not mean we are old or incapable of living and following a new path if we so choose. The choice is a democratic right, and I was born in a country that provides me with many freedoms that other countries in this orb do not have. I had been on a path of experiencing and living life to the fullest before her death; I chose to make this commitment for me. I knew my momma and pops would shine their light down on me.
The biggest step I have taken is to be independent while still in a loving relationship of thirty-six years.
My husband and I do not have to like the same things, but we can share and collaborate while enriching our lives.
It’s OK to say NO when that is the right answer, taking the fork in the road may be Shangri-La.

When yesterday was a fantastic day, can today be any better? The answer my friends is yes because with each waking moment we can turn it around. “Who can turn the world on with her smile? Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?” Well, if you grew up watching Mary Tyler Moore and wanted to be in broadcasting and communications, these words from her theme song most likely inspired you as they did me. However, it took many years for me to take a leap of faith and do what makes me HAPPY. Is it hard work, yes, but it makes me smile, and I am hoping that is making it all worthwhile for everyone I meet.
Yesterday I picked up a new podcast, thankyou Myra Rosario for trusting in me to bring out your truth. https://www.spreaker.com/show/b-the-difference-with-myra-rosario  I was just a guide, a catalyst to assist you in what you are capable of producing. 

Additionally, I reached out to Robin Jay a guest on Heart Mojo this week, 

https://www.spreaker.com/user/10697139/heart-mojo-with-melinda-smith-and-guest-_3 and invited her to share her voice, vision, and compassion with our listeners. And the cherry on top of the cake was a referral from Suzy Unger https://www.spreaker.com/user/10697139/transitions-with-suzy-unger-with-barbara, not with just one potential podcast but for two. One with her guest Barbara Rose Brooker and also with a dear friend and mentor of hers, Eric Holmes, an extraordinary woman, professor, therapist, trauma expert, writer. Within the next thirty days, we will have grown almost 50% since last year, and we are not done yet.

To all my amazing clients working with newclevelandradio.net, I continue to learn from you as I guide you through this multimedia/social media process. It is still virginal, and I am so excited to be riding the wave with all of you, plus whoever joins us in our growth.
When I had the vision of completing my degree and advancing myself to follow my passion that includes; TALKING, LISTENING, ASSISTING, PROMOTING, WORKING, and DEVELOPING, I was told I was too old and even too naïve to think anyone would care to hear my voice.
I like Myra Rosario, and many of our podcasters have had negative comments made that often would keep anyone from taking the first step, but I chose that step. I was determined to prove to myself that I could create https://newclevelandradio.net/ #WEARENOTJUSTCLEVELAND – and I have. 

Currently, the company is owned by my son Alex who entrusted this format to me, and this will be my legacy for him.
I am walking the talk that I have attempted to inspire others with and that the word NO means #IWillTRY!
The men and women that I have aligned myself with are ordinary people; some may live in fancy houses; others may not. Success and growth are not the house, car, or awards you win; it is all about finding your inner happiness that will wipe away the tears that may form, the feeling of that internal hug that assures you, “You can make it after all.”

On a side note, my brother Joel Moss (http://managramusic.com/site/) has worked with some of the very best in the music business. He has won awards and has hob-knobbed with the Rich and Famous, but he is still my brother Joel, who occasionally likes to tease me. I have achieved my success having the love and friendship of both of my brothers, including Gary Moss (https://just4thespellofit.com/), my best friend and husband Rich, my two sons Steve and Alex, and all of you!

Women / People have strengths that they are often unaware of until they allow themselves to bare their truth. Over the past couple of years, since the death of my mom, I have opened myself up to listening, learning, and contributing with individuals to make a difference in my life and theirs. I am not afraid of being wrong, making a mistake, or even looking foolish because if I didn’t try, I would never know what I am capable of accomplishing.
When you surround yourself with people who are like-minded as yourself, you lean on them for strength as they lean on you for intensity and together unite. We may not have the same color skin, our religious beliefs may vary as well as our politics, but we find the common thread that binds us together to keep us secure. To be independent does not mean you are alone and lonely; independence is the ability to rely on yourself and to know your inner being that is your vital resource. A year ago, we had a handful of podcasts at newclevelandradio.net. Today, we are brimming over and still growing. Our podcasters know that it takes a team to build a mountain, and we are heading in that direction.

The better part of today I have been redesigning and organizing the website there is always a better way to tweak the system and I am always listening to those who surf our site and make suggestions.  Our site and our podcasting are growing by leaps and bounds and as a woman business I have a tendency to get a little behind but all it takes is a comment or a notation and VOILA, I am on it.

Just as I say that I want to share with all of you that the week of March 2nd, in fact on Monday, March 2nd I will be having knee replacement surgery.  Many of you followed my exercise and workout journey that got waylaid by a knee injury.  Originally, I had hoped some ice and rest would fix it up but neither cortisone, gel injections and Physical Therapy did not resolve the pain, limp, or injury.  So, the decision was made if I want a quality of life and get back to exercising and enjoying the outdoors this spring surgery is the answer.

I am hoping within a couple of days of surgery I will be capable of sitting up at my desk to podcast, blog, and keep business going, however, unofficially I will take the first two weeks of March off and many of our podcasts will pre-record and all I will have to do it post them for your listening pleasure.
I also want to note we have two more podcasts that will be starting soon one with Barbara Rose Brooker with the topic Ageism that is about all ages and how we think we are supposed to look…
Another podcast will be led by Sheila Weller and I recommend you google both women, they are amazing and the guests they will bring to our platform are incredible.
We are not stopping there; I surf Facebook and I look for men and women like you and me who are compassionate about living a full life while creating a positive community.  Negativity will not allow us to take the next step without falling down without a hand to prop us up.


Tonight, at sundown, I will light a memorial candle in recognition of the Jewish date that my father died since the Jewish calendar does not coincide (accurately) with the Georgian calendar. Although my dad died on my February 3, 2014 (my 20th wedding anniversary), the Jewish calendar this year is a couple of days off; however, sometimes it can be weeks different. We like the candle at night because once again, the Jewish calendar rhythm is with the setting sun, so the day begins as dusk turns into night.
My Pop’s was very influential in my life; to me, he was a giant, although, in actuality, he was only 5ft 11inches in his stocking feet, to me he was a giant of a man. My dad, like my brother’s loved words and he, wrote prose, and so much more if he had lived longer, I think he would have become a blogger. Friends, family, and his loving bride, my mom, DVasha received his written words not only for special occasions but just because he wanted to let her know how cherished she was. Despite his beautiful writing and setting my mom on a pedestal, my mother was an even and fierce partner in life and death.
This is the third year that I am feeling like an orphan with both my parents gone, and yet I sense they are with me on this journey of life experiences. The path that I chose to travel is not one that either my mother or father would have selected for me, and when they found out I was wasting their college tuition on communication classes instead of teaching, they cut me off. In the late 60s and early 70s, who would have believed there would be women in the media.
Today I am shouting out to my Pop’s that I am making it and loving each word I speak with distinction. I have taken this road to fulfill my dreams and prove to myself; I, too, can write and orate my words. Dad’s prose may be known as, “Words by Harmon.” Mine are a combination of yours, mine and ours!

Momma and Pops

Cousin Gloria

February 3 has many meanings for me ….
Until 1984, February 3 was the day before my cousin Gloria’s birthday, and one month and one day before mine. Gloria was very special to me as she so much more than a cousin to me she was a big sister, friend, mentor, and the beautiful person I wanted to grow up to be. However, since 1984 the day itself has taken on more meaning.
February 3, 1984, Richard and I, and two friends Debbie and Dave Meredith, stood in Rabbi Eisenberg’s study and got married. On that day, we weren’t sure how long our marriage would last. We were due in Custody Court on the 7th, we were ‘fighting’ to retain custody of my oldest son. Both my attorney and psychologist felt it was best that Rich and I walk into the court proceedings, legally married. (We had been planning on getting married, but I personally wanted the custody issue behind us, win or lose before I said “I Do” again.) We kept this information secret until my attorney produced the marriage license to the judge. And although we won this court case, it was bitter-sweet as we both had wanted to wait and as do it right! (We did it once again on July 15 of that same year, and now we celebrate twice.)

Momma and Pops

My momma with her fatherJump ahead 20 years on our wedding anniversary. My father, MY POPS, who had struggled most of my life with Angina, and other health issues, passed away on this same day, February 3, 2004. This day surely will not be forgotten because for the last severely weeks of Pops life while in Hospice Care, my mom and his nurse would have dad call us daily (he phoned all of his children individual,) we never said goodby we just shared our lives.
Today it is 16 years later, and I think of my Pops daily, and on this 36th Wedding Anniversary with my partner, my husband Rich, we will celebrate Pop’s life, our lives, and the love we have. Again, February is bitter-sweet because my beloved cousin Gloria celebrates her birthday in the heavens above. Not only is she missed by me, her family, friends, and those who were slightly acquainted, she left us memories of that signify love!

This February 29, 2020, was the one day my mom wanted to live for her 100th birthday. On her 95th birthday with family and friends surrounding her she proclaimed her wish to live to this momentous day. Why you may ask? She knew that when you turned 100 years-old both the President of the United States and Willard Scott would acknowledge her. However, in the spring of 2016, she pledged herself to Hilary Clinton or anyone who would beat our current President. She lived long enough that year to vote absentee and to have my brother Joel, and I promise that “HE” would not be voted in. However, on October 11, 2016, momma was too tired and left us to be with my Pops.
Today is a day of celebration and love and remembering those who shared in our 1st wedding and who supported us to have wedding #2. I will tell you we are not traditionalists celebrating with flowers, champagne, or expensive restaurant meals. Each year we promise to renew our relationship for another year even though marriage is not perfect, and love is like a rollercoaster; spending our time together is most essential and fulfills us.
Rich and I would not be together if not for Helene and Lanny Light – we met at their wedding, and the rest is history!

Have you ever responded to an email, a test, IM, or even voice mail and afterward heard the tone of voice and said, “What the F— did I just do? Well, folks, it has happened to me and specifically this morning. My dear friend Amy Ferris sent me a compelling message, and I responded in such a flat – bitchy -tone it was not until her response that I heard what I WROTE and knew not only did I have to apologize to Amy, but all of her friends who love her as much as I do. Ok, so I have been under stress both physically and emotionally, I know better to respond immediately but I did without thinking of my words and how they may be read. No, I didn’t use vulgarity or necessarily saying mean, but I sure think I sent a Mean Girl reply – and not my intention.
So, it only takes a moment to pause before replying, or if you need more, take it to get it right/write. I made a mistake, a huge one, and I cannot say I am sorry enough! Please send hugs to Amy Ferris!

To my Family, Friends, and Business Colleagues:
This is an open letter of apology and explanation. Right before the new year, I developed cold/allergy symptoms. I nursed them for a week until I could not handle the side-affects, which weren’t indeed side-affects but the beginning stages of pneumonia. After a doctor’s appointment and instructions on how to nip this in the ASS, I began a ten-day regimen of antibiotics. However, I have been struggling to find that equilibrium that would indicate, I am healthy again, or this is my new normal. This weekend I got ill again and assumed it was just a migraine, but migraine then felt like sinus, sinus like pneumonia, and pneumonia-like the flu. Yesterday was my worst day with fever and all – but rest, liquids, and Tylenol kicked it out of me, and I awoke this morning feeling like Karen, THAT’s Me!
My personal coach and newclevelandradio.net’s podcast, Candace Pollock, The Intentionality Gurus, has provided me with the insight of mindfulness, specifically when it comes to both emotional and physical symptoms. Since December, I have allowed myself the opportunity to feel the pain and discomfort so I could make some decisions. One of those decisions was to give me the time to heal. You may have been the results of one of those decisions when I either didn’t answer a call, respond to an email, or forgot an appointment. That is not the person I choose to be, except I had to make those choices while finding my path to health again.
Also, I am not complaining or kvetching as my mother would have defined my last thirty days. No, I did not sit around and moan and groan, in fact when I was moaning and groaning, (my heavy breathing) while in the middle of doing a task that I should have asked for assistance and didn’t. I was trying to prove to myself that I could do it, and in some ways, I am glad I did. However, there are times that we should take the opportunity to ask for help!
So today I want to share I think I am finally recovering from this nasty viral infection and I hope to be back in the saddle 100% by next week. However, as many of you know, I am still facing knee treatment since the gel injections for the meniscus tear, and arthritic joints did not provide the benefits of healing. I will keep you updated, but nothing is going to keep me down.
Happy Tuesday, one and all, make the most of your day and tell your family, friends, and colleagues how much you love them.

I love you all!

Kobe Bryant – We Must Not Lose
Whether you are a Basketball Fan or followed the Lakers, the news of Kobe Bryant and his daughter being killed today in a helicopter crash is devastating. It hurts for many as he was majestic as a player and known to be one of the human stars. Just last night, LeBron James surpassed Kobe’s Record of on the all-time scoring list, and Kobe tweeted his congratulations. As a wife and mother, I cannot even begin, nor would I want ever have to face the news of losing not just my husband but also one of my children on the same day. The only solace I can see is that Father and Daughter were on a journey together, sharing their passion. Basketball. To the other three that perished today, the pilot and one of G. G’s teammates and their parent, we all must send prayers of healing and understanding why such a tragedy occurred.
When my son Alex learned of this tragedy (my sports guru), he convulsively cried, repeating, WHY, WHY, WHY? Why Kobe? He is one of the good guys. Alex is not a little child, but watching my grown son feel so depleted made me feel helpless. I need to believe there is a reason for everything, but we may never know or understand it. (We may choose not to know or understand either.)
Every day someone dies, another is born, some have developed Cancer or another devastating disease; and, yet another goes into remission and is cured. We are mortals, and even with all the science and research that is performed each day, this is the journey of life. It will not heal the hurt many are feeling at this moment in time. For others, it may be another confusing aspect of life and death to be accepted for what it is. We each will take our next steps together; some will go straight others to the right and yet others to the left. We will breathe in and out; we must if we want to go on living.
Hopefully, we will take the short life of Kobe, and those on the helicopter that lost their lives today and pledge to be caring and compassionate individuals as he demonstrated to us that he was.
May they all Rest In Peace and may his family find the strength from their loving memories to continue in his name.

My poor family and friends, I’m not a real patient person.  I was brought up by parents that taught me to be ahead of the timeline, procrastinating was not an option.  Everything was prioritized as most important so before the term multi-tasking became a usable term, we all multi-tasked.  Although I have worked on slowing down and appreciate the sunshine, smiles, laughter, and solitude, I still jump in with two feet and my whole body is encompassed in the task(s).  Time is very definitive in my life while many others often don’t even know what day of the week it is let alone what the time of day is.  For me, if it’s not on my calendar and laid out in bits and pieces, my routine becomes hazardous and that will reflect on how I respond to my responsibilities.  So I Have Been A DO IT NOW PERSON!
I am working on patience with myself and others and I am getting better, but I sometimes imposed my standards on others and that is not fair.  However, what I think is fair is for individuals to be open about their expectations and using a word from yesterday, collaborate on how your differences can be utilized in a successful manner.  Without communication we make assumptions and we all know what is said about assuming.  I have no intention of making an ASS out of U and Me!
Today I am going to focus on being mindful which will slow me down me step one to being patient with myself and others.
Mindfulness will allow me to observe before reacting and when I do react, I will do so with true intentions, not expectations that often lead to frustration.
My decision making will be thoughtful and not reactive, calming my anxiety and that of others.
This is not an overnight change, it will take time and practice, but it is my word to a healthier tomorrow, PATIENCE.

My word for the day is S K E P T I C A L
Being skeptical is not a negative word, it is a positive term.  To be skeptical means you are not easily convinced, you may have doubts and reservations.  We can agree to work together even when we don’t agree.  It is not about compromise it is about collaboration. Let me give a very personal example.  I like a well-maintained home, I contribute to cleaning and organizing 85% of our house.  My husband and son collaborate with me, we work together to keep all common areas neat, clean and maintained.  My son’s room is kept in the manner in which he is most comfortable, and occasionally I may enter the room to tidying it up to my specifications, but within his comfort zone.  My husband’s home office has been taken over by the studio and newclevelandradio work site.  Since my husband is a collector of things this room is not designed in my image but we work together to make the studio copasetic.
I am skeptical when it comes to believing that my family members like living in chaos, what I have accepted is that it is difficult for them not create this environment and it makes them who they are.  However, we have collaborated on what works for us despite the doubts we may each have.
I am skeptical when people find it imperative to say, “it’s my way or the highway!”  We all have opinions and those thoughts and ideas are necessary for us to learn and grow and enrich our lives.  Why does someone believe they are Right when others are Wrong?  Isn’t time to all skepticism bring us together to agree to disagree?

My Word for the Day is Content!
What does content mean to you? For me, it is more than just being satisfied. I am happy and accepting of where I am today. This journey in life is not always satisfying, causing discontentment at times, but the moments of contentment are to be cherished and remembered no matter how big or small they may be. Memories can take us down a path that either brightens our smile or creates a frown of sadness on our lips. Both are necessary for us to find true happiness.
Happiness does not mean you are 100% perfect in your thoughts and feelings; however, it can lead you to that comfortable hug with or without human touch. We have the power to create that internal process that induces satisfaction.
Not everyone can get to this “destination” without taking a step in the direction. To make that first step, we must want to find that inner peace that ignites our endorphins with pleasant feelings leading to that sense of contentment. Please do not say it’s impossible because the word impossible really means I’M POSSIBLE. When you repeat that word in this manner, “I’m Possible,” then, and only then will you find your inner peace, which will allow you to be content.

MY Word for the Day DOIT
My DO IT List

  1. Wake up with my husband at 5 am and help him prepare for his day at work
  2. Emails with potential podcasters
  3. Extra today – remove tarnish from silverware – it’s overdue
  4. Shower and Dress for the Day
  5. Take a 5 – 10-minute break
  6. Work on JFTSOI.com website
  7. Write Blog for newclevelandradio.net
  8. Podcast with Hilarities – comedian Mike Vecchione
  9. Post and social media podcast
  10. Run personal errands
  11. Take a 5 -10-minute break
  12. Call to potential podcaster
  13. Prepare information for What in the World with Paul Seaburn
  14. 2 -4 record two sessions with new podcaster PaulSaul
  15. Post and social media podcast
  16. Break
  17. 6:30 podcast with Katie the Carlady and her guest
  18. Post and social media podcast

Candace Pollock, https://www.spreaker.com/show/the-intentionality-gurus-candace-2018-20, recommended an exercise for me as well as those listening to the podcasts that making a To-Do List allows us to focus on what is necessary for us to complete in a time frame and feel accomplished.  Although my list for today is only eighteen items, I know I will add more as the day progresses because nothing in life is consistent, there is always that little something that appears as a must-do, or I want to do, or should I do.

My word for today is actually two words, a phrase, “Do It!)  It refers to any task you want to achieve, including rest, play, and work. Although I may have appointments on my calendar for today does not mean that is all that is planned there is always something else.  Take for example yesterday, I had a meeting at 3 pm at Panera and a scheduled podcast back here in the studio at 5 pm.  In order to achieve those to items sufficiently, I added in purchase take-out dinner at Panera to give me the time I needed to complete my day.  However, a glitch in my system, changed the take-out menu I brought home to going out to east when my workload was completed at 7 pm.  Although a much-needed dinner out, it changed my To-Do List, and that is something I have to learn how to embrace.

I have shared over the years of writing and podcasting I am a do it now person, but I am learning to take the do it now and tune it down to do it (when).  Last night I put the takeout food in the fridge, went out to dinner, and tonight last night’s menu will be served.  The point I am trying to make if for some reason you have not read into it is the list of tasks provides me with a map just if I were on a treasure hunt.  Once completed I win the prize, the pleasure and peace of mind that I am accomplished!

My word for the day is self-conscious but not in the negative connotation. Often when that term is used, we think of someone insecure in their own skin. In fact, for most of my life, that was a pretty good definition of me. I would never have thought I would wake up someday and look in the mirror and see my inner beauty. While striving to be a good person and making others happy, I compared myself to others and saw their beauty and my flaws. My first recollection of feeling insecure I was only ten or eleven years old, my body still growing but not as shapely as I had hoped to be as I developed into a teenager. A friend of the family who was a year older had similar body issues, and our shared pediatrician put her on diet pills and voila, she was noticed. I asked my mother if Dr. Birnbaum would do the same for me, and without hesitation, she made me an appointment. Well, the miracle pill did not turn me into the svelte young woman I wanted to be as I stumbled into years of feeling less than others. Without much more detail, I will say my negative internal talk started at an early age and continued well in my adulthood.
Your mother and father, aunts, uncles, and cousins may tell you, you are pretty. However, you may interpret those words with a “but” at the end. Growing up in the 50s and 60s, there were so many “beautiful” role models, and yet I allowed myself to compare my hair to theirs, my eyes, lips, and all parts external, including my clothing and makeup. Sadly, I felt that I was falling short and not by a little but a lot.
I realized how much time I wasted feeling less desirable, and this became paramount in my life this week. I may have mentioned that I have started back on Facebook Live to share my word of the day and fulfill my growth and maturity. Selfishly I am doing this for me to focus on the good; however, if it helps one person in addition to myself, I have added value to this world. I would love to see children growing up with a positive sense of self.
When I dressed and showered on Monday and applied my makeup, I felt good about me. However, a cousin who watched the video suggested that I change the color of lipstick, her opinion was it was not becoming. I took her suggestion, why not, and used a brighter, darker hue yesterday. From the moment I applied it, I felt uncomfortable but chose to step out of my comfort zone. After recording my Facebook live, I thought about wiping off the lipstick, but I didn’t. Writing about this and discussing it on FB live, a very good friend started sending me websites that might help me adapt new makeup technics. I had opened myself up to people offering advice, and I realized that this was said and submitted in kindness.
However, the bottom line is I may apply some changes, and I may not because I am pleased with who I am. I am turning the word self-conscious into a positive term to mean I am conscious of myself.
Accept me for who I am!


Forgiveness is essential if we are going to create a community of peace and awareness. I once was a grudge holder, and all that did for me is make me sad, anxious, and depressed. I typically held in those unforgiving feelings until I needed to bring them out and attempt to prove I was right, and someone else was wrong. The problem with that was those thoughts festered deep inside of me and changed in color, texture, and meaning. When I spewed them back out, it was like I was talking in tongues, and not only did I not understand my anger, it created deep wounds where it should have been a calming touch.
Forgiveness is not a matter of right or wrong, it identifies that you/me are willing to agree to disagree while finding the common thread that brings us together. To be capable of forgiveness, we must accept our personal faults and values. It takes strength to admit to the errors of our ways, but it can bring a calming, soothing effect from the tips of our toes to the top of our heads.
Create a bond with yourself and learn to like you, and others will follow.

My word for the day is cognizant. I chose it based on a conversation my brother Gary, and I had during the recording of his podcast. Being aware of your surroundings is essential; watching where you make your next step may stop you from walking in “shit.” The word “shit” as a noun means feces or do-do. It also is a term for a mean and useless person. Keeping our eyes open and looking in all directions can provide us with a broader range of opportunities.
When we are open to new ideas and experiences, our world expands. Life is no longer one-sided; it is dimensional. Having dimensions in our lives provides us depth and additional substance broadening our abilities and providing us the tools to the person we want to be.
It has taken me a long time some sixty-plus years to become comfortable in my own skin. It is never too late for you!
Most recently, I have met several women who have turned my sense of self around. When I was younger, I would have thought these same women were out of our league. However, there is no league! F-those clicks and ratings we put on other people for being smarter, prettier, more accomplished, etc. Beauty is skin deep; the sad part is most of us are hiding behind a mask of make-up (clothing) that we see first and make that terrible assumption of whether that person is perfect or not. To become precise, one must go through a series of mistakes. We learn from the errors we make, and often from a mistake, an invention is born. Make yourself that invention if that is what you chose.
I’m not sure why I allowed myself to live with insecurities that kept me down, but I refuse to do it anymore. Life is an adventure meant to be experienced, and experience does not depend on wealth or having a significant other. I am blessed I have my best friend as my significant other (husband). Come February 3, 2020; we will celebrate thirty-six years of marriage. The secret to that is communication, and when we are misunderstood, it is not time to give up, misunderstanding is the opportunity to get it right.

I ‘m determined to get it right!

Saturday, January 11, 2020
When even the simplest changes in our lives occur, it can throw us off track or even worst feeling unbalanced. However, nothing stays the same. You may believe your lifestyle is routine and monotonous, no two days are exactly alike. Sometimes we need to heighten our awareness to notice the nuances that make living unique.

For a little over a year and a quarter, I was holding down a part-time weekend IT Rep assignment. In addition to the weekend hours, I spent an hour plus each week training and re-training myself on technologies that would assist me in being the best (or better) at my job. In addition to the work itself, I enjoyed the interaction with the consumers. Even the customers that may have been rude or refused to accept my knowledge since “I was only a woman.” The millennial staff at the store kept me feeling young as they received me as one of their peers. You can learn a lot from young people, even things you wished you knew nothing about! (LOL)

This is the second weekend I’m not working, and I am feeling lost. I had a routine of sorts, and now I am trying to fill the void. I am not trying to make things happen, in fact, thanks to Candace Pollock, The Intentionality Gurus, https://www.spreaker.com/show/the-intentionality-gurus-candace-2018-20, I have been coached and guided. The guidance leads me to think now before I leap and to be aware of the change and embrace it, even if it hurts. Once we become more mindful of who we are and what we want, then and only then can we make the best choices. If we are not cognizant and sense those feelings from the inside out, we may not fulfill our needs (and wants.)
Requirements are a necessity like nourishment and safety. However, for most humans, that is not enough as we can dream and create visions of what we want. We may wish to live in a Mansion, but we may only need a one-bedroom home. It is our dreams, and the focus to make those dreams reality is what may take us from that one-bedroom home to a larger home getting us closer to what we want. Each step forward is a success, but only if it genuinely makes you happy if you are not satisfied, it may be time to reevaluate and seek a more intimate awareness. Mindfulness!
To be mindful is to pay attention to our thoughts. There is no right or wrong (except in the case of hurting another or breaking the law.) Even if the next task you approach is difficult, and you cannot complete it on your own, it is OK to ask for guidance or assistance. Accepting the fact that no one is perfect at all things is allowing yourself to receive yourself for what you know and what you don’t.
If you are like me, you may have grown-up learning you needed to get perfect or near-perfect scores on your tests in school. For many like myself, this fear of not being excellent created average or below-average scores for me. The stress of having to have the correct answers somehow caused me to lack confidence, and all I remember from my younger school days is the phrase, YOU ARE WRONG! Sadly, I was not taught how to turn a negative into a positive, and I did a lot of downhill spiraling. However, it’s never too late to turn that around, and I have. I found my niche being mindful even before it was something discussed. I learned to reach for the happy moments and the things that shine happiness upon me.

So, despite the changes I have experienced most recently, I am looking through open eyes and turned up hearing aids for the next idea that leads me down yet another path in this journey called life.

Wednesday, 8 January 2020
This morning I am taking a few minutes to reflect, and I hope you will indulge me.
In 2012 I took a lateral promotion at the college where I was working. I move from one campus to another with the hopes and beliefs that this was my stepping-stone. However, I sensed from the first day I settled into my new office that a change of scenery may not have been the answer. From day one, I struggled to fit in, and I worked harder each day. I took on my tasks plus those of others, believing that this would prove that I was indispensable. Today I can look back and, with hindsight, realize this was a huge mistake. Within months I developed anxiety that I had never experienced before. Getting on the highway to drive to work took continuous self-talk that I was OK while my heart pounded as I visualized myself dying in an accident, not my fault! My direct manager at the time was a previous co-worker of mine who was almost a third of my age, and she treated me as if I was a child, at least that was my perception. Without TMI, there was no way I could explain to her or others what I was going through. I wasn’t sure I knew myself. I continued to demand more of myself and put those expectations on others, and this led to my illness, in name, DEPRESSION.
In February of 2014, I broke down. I was pathetic; I could not look at myself in the mirror. I could not go back into an environment that was toxic to me. It doesn’t matter if I made it toxic or the expectations of others for me created this situation, but I knew I needed a change. I wasn’t afraid to admit my weakness and get help from a doctor and create a lifestyle change with my family. I knew if I didn’t do this, I would die a prolonged anxious death going more in-depth into depression. I put myself in the hands of health professionals, and I went through a series of them until I found myself, and I have chosen to stay in their care to remain mentally healthy. Finding the right medical team to work with is essential. I knew the journey was mine, and although I needed guidance, I had to take the lead with their helping hands.
I will always be in recovery like any addiction, anxiety, and depression are mine. When I try to prove myself, I work so hard to be YOU that I leave ME behind, and I develop anger, which leads to depression. Since I have lived the majority of life in this manner, it felt natural even though it hurt and made me cry inside and out. I was a crier, today…not so much. Sappy movies bring me to tears, and real loss and change make me cry, but I don’t walk around with a black cloud over my head anymore. I look for the sun shining in the background, and I allow it to creep into my brain and visualize the inner beauty in all that surrounds me.
I have chosen to share this today as we will be beginning a new podcast series, “Sherapy,” and I will be the first patient/client to go through this session. I am excited because I know I am going to learn so much more about myself as I peel back the layers of the onion. Since 2014 I have come along way — that bleak February. I thought I was lost forever. When asked what I wanted to do going forward, I felt I had no other solution than to return to the college where I was working. The more I thought about that; I would decline in my recovery. However, trying to reinvent your self at the age of 63 initially felt impossible until my son reminded me, I was still only 39, I was just going to celebrate the 25th anniversary of my 39th year.
With my newly earned college degree and graduate studies in Communications, I turned to blogging and from blogging podcasting. I recreated myself to the person I could admire. This new Karen was not afraid to make mistakes; she was going to learn from them as they came along. This was when I knew I was healing, but to remain healthy, I must be open, share, and express myself. When I look in the mirror today, I see a warrior or, as Amy Ferris calls women like me, a Shero!

January 7, 2020, It was almost Pneumonia and because of that – we did not roll out our new shows yesterday, January 6th!  The Fing Cold was much more and I was hoping and praying it wasn’t but a trip to the doctor was what I needed to knock some sense into me.  Do not take a cold or flu lightly as it can turn deadly.  If I had waited an extra day or two I would be in the hospital with Pneumonia.  However, 2 days on antibiotics and I am almost back to normal, however, I am working at a slower pace.  This was a glaring reminder to me that I must take care of me.  My family tries but when you have two men in your life and they have been catered to, to a degree or more, they often do not see beyond the tip of their noses.  They love me and mean well, but they often believe that if they just leave me alone, I will get better!  (Didn’t they even notice the laundry was cared for, and the dishwasher run and dishes put away, along with make my own meals?)  Ok, it’s my own DAMN fault and when I begin “Sherapy” with Sherry Amatenstein on her podcast we will address the issue.  I also will discuss this subject with Candace Pollock on “The Intentionality Gurus,” between therapy and personal coaching I will get this down!

January 4, 2020, No Fing Cold will Stop Me
Well here it is the first weekend of the new year; a new decade and I am fighting a cold.  My husband had this not so wonderful virus that he passed off to me, he was sick over Christmas and into New Years and I’ve been brewing for a couple of days.  I can only hope that this runs its course quickly as I refuse to feel so DAM Fing Crappy!
Monday, January 6th
we begin to roll out some new shows.  The first is Sherapy an online podcast therapy session.  Our host Sherry Amatemstein  (https://newclevelandradio.net/sherapy-real-therapy-with-sherry-amatenstein-3/) will seek out individuals like myself that want to work through issues, sharing their stories and her guidance over a series of live recorded podcasts.  Individuals may remain anonymous or be an open book as I have offered to do.  I am excited to participate in this podcast venture and watch it grow for Sherry and those who join us along the journey of introspection.
Also on the 6th, I will reintroduce you to Michael Gershe, the founder of The Magic Of Life Foundation and author of ‘The Magic of Life: A Son’s Story of Hope after Tragedy, Grief and a Speedo ‘  Michael and I will explore not only his life but the impact he has made on others and we will invite those he has touched to participate in this monthly podcast.  Make sure you have a box of tissue handy, but also note Michael does stand-up comedy so he will also make you laugh.  Michael participates in the “Don’t forget to laugh” Comedy series that is part of Heart Mojo with Melinda Smith.
Speaking of Melinda, she will begin our 2020 season with Heart Mojo and her guest, Kelli M Davis.  Kelli is a Metastatic Breast Cancer Survivor.  Melinda will share Kelli’s journey with me and you as we grow the Heart Mojo Podcast now bi-weekly.  Also, look for a second podcast Melinda and I will be hosting together, “Are You Ready For The Future?”
On Thursday of last week, Carlady Talk with Katie the Carlady changed her podcast name from Coffee and Cars with Katie the Carlady.  Since most people identify Katie as the Carlady we are leading off with that.  I am so proud of Katie for taking the next step to grow this program as she has so many wonderful connections that will help us all become better educated in purchasing, leasing, or renting a car.  We all need to get from point A to B and if you live in a city like Cleveland, Ohio public transportation is not the best solution.  So when you need a car or must maintain your vehicle, or finance it and get the best insurance coverage for your needs, this is a podcast that will empower you! https://www.spreaker.com/show/carlady-talk-with-katie-the-car-lady
This is just the beginning as What in the World with Paul Seaburn (https://www.spreaker.com/show/what-in-the-world-with-paul-seaburn_1) returns on Tuesday, January 7th and we will be broadcasting from the newclevelandradio.net studios.  We have some big plans for this show, and we are looking for sponsors.  We are very lucky to have Paul with us as he has been in the comedy business for eons, and he once was a staff writer for Jay Leno, as well as other fine comics.  Please contact me for more information newclevelandradio@gmail.com

January 1, 2020 TRADITIONS
Just as New Year’s Eve is celebrated by tradition for many, so is January 1st, New Year’s Day. When I met my husband in the early 80s, he informed me that it was good luck to eat pork and sauerkraut on the 1st day of the year. Although I didn’t question him out loud, I wondered, even to this day, what happens to those individuals for religious or dietary restrictions do not eat pork? Ok, so it was his family’s tradition, and my family didn’t have a special meal, dance or ritual on this day, except to watch FOOTBALL, like the U of Michigan, as I am today. Since I don’t keep a kosher home and I enjoy the taste of pork, I use his mother’s recipe, and I make a pork tenderloin and sauerkraut bake with a roux (pronounced “roo,”) sauce.
What I do for my family today I do because I want to, not because I must. I have spent too many years doing what I thought I had to do to please others, so in return, they would like me. However, that did not work well for me as I spent much of my life resenting others as I attempted to make them smile while inside, I was filling up with tears. Recently I shared with Sherry Amatenstein, of Sherapy, that I was known as a cry baby in my family. It is only through self-reflection that I now realize those tears I shed were the identification of myself. I wanted to be the person everyone liked, and yet I didn’t like myself. I tried so hard to be someone I wasn’t that I caused my emotional havoc. Since I now recognize this about myself, I am looking forward to the first session of Sherapy on Monday, January 6th, when I openly participate in a therapy session via podcast. Future participants in this podcast may share their stories with Sherry anonymously. I have chosen to be an open book because I want to face my issues and not hide behind the truth. I like myself now, and I am anxiously looking forward to where this journey will take me. If I can assist just one person with my stories, I will have made the right choice.
My wish for you is that 2020 leads you to find your truths and happiness. Know that each day will not be perfect, and sometimes you will smile, as well as shed some tears. You will not agree with all you hear, but you will be aware of the differences and accept others as you want them to acknowledge you as well. This can be a year that brings us peace and happiness even with the imperfections and flaws that will accompany it. It is up to us make our heart swell with sunshine whether we keep the flames of a tradition burning or ignite new ones that will enlighten us all.