TRADITION_ IN The BEGINNING
For me, it is not so much about religion as it is, “Tradition,” or the customs that were passed on through my grandparents, to my parents, and then to me! They say (whoever they are) that we either remember the best things in our life or the worst moments, and although I may have some somber lingering thoughts in the crevices of my mind, when it comes to synagogue (or maybe in your case church) I chose to remember the happy, warm feelings,
Attending high holiday services this year at Temple Israel in Akron, Ohio I was blessed to find something I have been missing for a long time. With the passing of my father in 2004 on my 20th wedding anniversary and the loss of my mother on 2016 on the eve of Yom Kippur the holiest time in an observant Jews life, my personal need for tradition, warmth, and family became apparent. It was my weekly phone calls to my mother that had been filling the void, and my visits to Detroit to visit her that filled my heart and soul with “Tradition.” And although my father was not a pious man, he was a man of words, “Words by Harmon,” that fulfilled my needs, Pops may not have received a college education, but he was a learned observer. Sometimes he would get into heated discussions to share his thoughts and prove a concept, but in the end, he loved and respected not just his children, but everyone for their thoughts and opinions. It was with the death of my mother that an empty pit in my stomach needed nourishment. Nourishment for me included making numerous changes experience life on my new journey.
Although we are still the same today as we were yesterday, we can evolve and modify ourselves to fulfill those personal needs. Personally, I may have felt bullied, abused, even unloved during my life, but, I found a way to trudge through the dark forest and climb the rugged terrain. I am no different than anyone else except I have chosen not to be a victim. It’s an easy choice to make, but it does not stop the voices, thoughts, and the past experiences, to impinge upon that journey. Even when I felt weak and alone, somehow, I took a step each day to find my “Tradition.” For my survival and my happiness, I must continue taking this journey.
My parents made a choice to have children, and I was the third of their three, following the birth of my brother Gary and Joel. As a young child, I use to tell my brothers I could have been the oldest, but I pushed them out first! Although that idea of mine drew laughs in the past, it was another survival mechanism I had when my brothers (naturally) picked on me as siblings do. I would bring up this subject when I was feeling left out, when my parents would include my brothers, but left me out because I was too young, I was the baby girl.
This baby girl has spent the better part of life trying to be the good person, the friend, and achieving the best results, not to out best someone else but to be on an equal playing field. I met success along the way, but I did not nurture it as I felt unworthy. So, just like Hertz, “I tried harder.”
As long as I live and breathe, I will continue walking through the mysteries of life but thanks to inner strength, I have reached out to find a home. I have a house that I live in with my loving husband and my youngest adult son. My heart and soul has been with them as well as with my oldest son, many miles away. I am not giving up that part of my heart, but I am now filling the void that has been gnawing at me for a very long time.
This takes me back to Rosh Hashanah services of this year, just a few weeks ago. I chose to experience what I hoped to be missing piece in my life. I went to Temple and although the beauty of the service was welcoming, and Cantor Kathy’s voice seeped into my bloodstream, sitting alone was just like the song says, “One is the Loneliest Number.” I looked around me and saw families, friends, and acquaintances sharing in a “Tradition,” well I observed and craved for the community. My need to belong led me to contact Rabbi Brown (and I cannot say enough about how special he has made me feel!) My contact drew and introduction to Elaine, who put me in the sweetest embrace of Teri, who has become my sister from another mother. But it has not stopped there…I have met (do not give me a test on names, but I do recognize the faces and the friendship) so many kind, and warm individuals that have allowed me to develop some new “Traditions.”
We are living in a troubled society as 2018 rapidly becomes 2019 and the Jewish year of 5779 just begins. If we look at our history, “In the Beginning…” life has always been challenging, more so for some, and less for others. Or that is what we believe. We look at the outside and make assumptions creating much of our own angst that seeps into the veins of those around us. I can’t and do not desire to go back and be a child in the home of my parents to find the loving warmth that filled my soul, because I know that there were cold, damp days that sent chills up and down my spine as well. But as Rabbi Brown shared with us yesterday Yizkor Services (memorial services), for us to evolve, we must remember the good and the beauty and weave a pattern that will bring us the peace and fill the voids. If we do this, we will evolve and expand our friendships and find Shalom.
Temple Israel is not a magical place, however, for me, it is like walking into OZ, I see color that is fulfilling my soul.
I must share a few thanks:
- Candace Pollock – The Intentionality Gurus – for sharing her podcasts with me on newclevelandradio.net. It is through the coaching from Candace that I am more intentional. I am observing life and selecting pathways that I chose to explore because I can!
- Rabbi Josh Brown – Temple Israel, for finding the time to answer an email from someone he had never met who felt lonely. Not all Rabbis are created equal.
- Rabbi Robert Barr – Although, Rabbi Bob has no idea that he influenced me the teachings go back over thirty years. However, on Yom Kippur Night when I streamed Temple Beth Shalom’s Kol Nidre service, I knew that I was on the right path. Your sermon and words were relevant, and as I heard your story about running for office in Ohio, I connected with you and knew that even from a distance we were still family.
- Elaine and Teri, no last names needed, you are so special to me. I have a few women in my life I call girlfriends. This is not the time and place to go into this, but I can say you are my girlfriends even though we are just getting to know each other. I cherish your warm spirits, and I look forward to many years of growth.
- Cantor Kathy & Scott Fromson, the beauty and tradition style of chanting brought me joy and delight. Surprisingly many of the tunes were the same, or like those, I learned in Hebrew School some 50+ years ago. Your voice rings in my years, and for me, it is a delightful sound. When Scott was introduced to me he was identified as the Mayor of the Temple, however, unlike many Mayors, I have met, his warmth, smile, and sincere handshake melted my heart.
This adventurous journey is just beginning, and only as my past as has many bumps, turns and roadblocks along the way I do not expect this to be any different, but I will be resilient because I am a survivor and “Tradition” makes me smile.
“There is no place like home…”
Finding a home. I have repeatedly said, I am not religious, I grew up on traditions set in our home by my mother and father. They created their customs based on their upbringing. As a young girl growing up on the Northwest side of Detroit, I believed I would marry someday and live just blocks from my parents and friends and raise my children in a similar manner, while adding some personal choices created by my husband. However, planning is often just a dream as life is not static, constantly evolving.
Since my first marriage in 1971 to my divorce in 1978, and my second and last marriage in 1984, my search for a home (not a house) has been important to me. I am very blessed that my husband Richard of thirty-four years (not counting tomorrow,) has remained by my side as I continued to look for that missing piece. Every time I went up to Michigan to visit with my parents and extended family and friends I thought that the only place I would ever capture this feeling of mispacha was up North.
Fast forward to the past two weeks, the Jewish High Holidays, and the Hebrew anniversary of my mother’s passing. What I have been searching for has been so close by that I am surprised I did not fall into if before. I found a home (not sure I can afford the mortgage) at Temple Israel in Akron. A special thank you to Rabbi Josh Brown who heard my plea for friends and family and put a plan in place. On Yom Kippur the holiest day of our year I met not one (Elaine), but one multiplied and became, many new friends. For the first time since 1971, I feel connected and I want to share the feeling of joy that fills my heart.
I need to also thank Candace Pollock, show host for “The Intentionality Gurus” https://www.spreaker.com/show/the-intentionality-gurus-with-candace-po. Candace has helped me find the GURU in me to explore what is important in my life and out my natural fears aside. It is not easy walking into a room filled with strangers, as the song goes, “One is the Loneliest Number.” However, not only did I walk in, but I reached out to Rabbi Brown asked for something I needed, a connection. It is the understanding of intentionality that provided me with the courage, strength, and perspective to ask. If we don’t ask we will not get!
I am not any different from many of you. Too often in life, we wait for the right time to move forward and many of us miss that time as we are too busy waiting for something that has no specific time or place. It takes stepping forward and asking, sharing, and being aware, and I am now walking through life with my eyes wide open and my heart prepared to allow connections.
I offer each of you to enjoy each day of life – allow yourself to be aware and feed your heart and soul as you find the place…
As Dorothy from the Wizard Oz says: “There is no place like home…”
YOM KIPPUR – will never be the same
Yom Kippur will never be the same for me, and although I am told it was a mitzvah (blessing) that my mother passed on Yom Kippur Eve, the holiday and the Day of Anointment take on a whole new meaning.
As a young girl, it was tradition to observe the High Holidays. From the time I was old enough to attend what they called “Junior Services,” I, just like my older brothers and our parents participated in the ritual of asking for forgiveness. It was this act and speaking it from the heart that would gain G-d’s attention and write our name in the Book of Life. For the many years I did not attend High Holiday services as an adult I practiced this ritual silently. I also followed a custom my parents believed in, and that is to ask for forgiveness if you do something that may be “sinful” in the eyes of G-d. (On Yom Kippur Eve 2016 I asked myself why was my mother’s life ending?)
I am not a religious person although when asked what religion I am I proudly say Jewish, and not because it is a better religion and according to the Old Testament the Jews (Hebrews) were the chosen people. It is because my upbringing and the family traditions still warm my heart and make me smile.
Last year the first year of my mother’s passing (her Yahrzeit) brought me back to Temple for the Holy Days. Although I could have stayed home and recited the mourner’s Kaddish (prayer), I chose to be in a setting that might embrace me. What I learned in the last 12 months, people need to know what you want they cannot read your mind. So, in planning for 5779, I sought out another Temple, and although on Rosh Hashanah I felt lonely, there was a warmth in the sanctuary that told me I had to speak up.
I immediately contacted Rabbi Brown, and within days I was connected with a member of the Temple that surprisingly has connections not to my home, family, and friends in Michigan, but to Minneapolis where I lived during my high school years. This has added a definite glow to my life in the past week and has opened my heart that has felt closed off for the last two years.
I had written numerous blogs about my mom (D’vasha) and the relationship I rekindled with her during her dying weeks (when she was unaware of her critical health.) The love and affection I felt for my mother while living with her for two and a half months was such a gift, and yet sadly she passed. I have been holding on to her, and I refuse to let go, I believe she is watching over me with my pops, and they are keeping me on G-d’s good side. Hopefully, I will be written up in the Book of Life.
As I stated above Yom Kippur will never be the same, in addition to asking for forgiveness. “Al Chet.” This is our form of confession. One of the sins we recite is: “For the sin which we have committed before You by false denial and lying.” Sadly, it is not just today that we hide our dishonesty with coverups that we deem acceptable. However, if we believe there is a G-d, there is nothing we can hide, and it is our obligation to ourselves and mankind to find peace and share it.
Tomorrow I will attend Yom Kippur services, and I will fast as is the tradition. I do this, so I may prove to myself that I am capable of making amends and finding peace. Now through the love, I found in my relationship with my mother, let me extend my hand in peace.
L’Shanah Tova – Happy New Year 5779
Adding a new Podcast with Cody Cooper & Bill Squire
I had the pleasure of interviewing Cody Cooper today, a local comic going who is spreading his wings. He has given newclevelandradio.net permission to share his podcast: Gabbing with Grandma. We think you will enjoy the dialogue. Please listen and share: https://newclevelandradio.net/gabbing-with-grandma-cody-cooper-bill-squire/
soundcloud.com/gabbingwithgrandma
Don’t Remember 9/11/18 Unless You Choose to STOP HATE
Do not remember 9/11/01 only on the anniversary date of such a horrific event. Do not remember the terrorist as a race or religion. Do not remember if you choose not to turn our global society into a kinder one. Let us not just remember those that lost their innocent lives and others who put their lives in danger to save lives on one day each year. It is time to remember and honor what we have learned over the last 17 years!
If we have not learned that we are not born evil and grow-up to terrorize others, it is time we learn the truth today.
We are all conceived when a male sperm fertilizes a female egg. Although not all conceptions are mated through love, the result is the same. As stated above we are not born with evil in our DNA. However, we learn to hate and love from those that nurture us. Isn’t it time that we begin nurturing with love, kindness, and respect and bury the hate in the past? Hate has many other terms including despise, detest, loathe, revulsion, etc. However, what causes this intensity? Must we be the one that is right, perfect, and has the last word? The last word that produces such feelings is a death sentence!
Hate trickles down as does love, friendship, and respect for ourselves and others. Studies show that it is healthier to smile and be kind. We are all unique snowflakes, that means despite our culture likes there are differences, and it is the differences that make us a stronger global population. We can learn from each other and collaborate without the hate and destruction. Just as we teach our children, we are not entitled just because we want something. Not everything is meant to be possessed. However, if we begin to work together, fewer will have less, and those that have more will share.
I am not a Pollyanna. I believe in the natural goodness of each of us despite, gender, religion, race, and the environmental and cultural differences. To believe we must remember our past and ensure we do not repeat what hurts and destroys others. It is time to share our strengths and put out a hand to change.
Sharing a Link from Rabbi Joseph Krakoff
Senior Director Rabbi Joseph Krakoff was interviewed on the Simplify Cancer podcast. Listen or read a transcript at: http://simplifycancer.com/ep034/
And They Call Him Dr. Bryan Boatright
What do you do after you receive your doctorate? http://mixlr.com/new-cleveland-radio/events/and-they-call-him-dr-bryan-boatright
TRADITION
The other day I posted on Facebook that my husband and I took a short get-away. Vacations and overnight trips for us have always been about family and or business. I am not complaining, however, for the last 34 years our life has a financial, and we chose to live it within our means while not sacrificing the hand that feeds us (business) or missing out on family and the traditions that are important to us.
With the Jewish New Year (Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur) just weeks away I had a personal need (a tradition that I learned from my momma and pops, to visit the cemetery and stand by my parent’s graves. I remember as a child a couple of times a year around The High Holy Days as well as Passover (in the spring) my parents would make their visit to Machpelah Cemetery to pay their respects. Richard and I did the same yesterday.
When my pops died in 2004, I felt an emptiness and loss, but because my mom was still in full bloom, the impact was not as significant for me until two years ago when momma had her stroke, and I spent weeks with her as she fought her battle until the end. As I have shared in the past it was not until I moved into my mother’s apartment and spent hours by her side did I recognize the immense love I had for her, and her for me (even though she would tend to forget my name, and often called me Gittel, Gittel was her grandmother).
Today I feel close to my parents in a very spiritual (not religious) way. I often seek their advice by asking myself what would they think or say, and although I don’t always follow it, I appreciate the memories and the loving connections that allow me to hear their thoughts in my mind.
The 24 hour trip to Detroit gave Rich, and I time to chatter about topics that were important as well as those that were just inane to keep us occupied on a 3+ hour trip up and back. We stayed at a familiar hotel, one that we would stay at when visiting my mom at Hechtman, the only difference was we would not be sitting in her apartment shooting the breeze and hearing her tell us how much she disliked the food. Instead, I would be visiting her in my thoughts as I stood next to her and my father’s resting place.
Today is a new day and one that I hope my parents are observing from the heavens above knowing that Rich, Alex, Steve and I are happy, healthy, because of their influences.
To all who celebrate Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, may you have a Healthy and Sweet New Year. For those who don’t my thoughts and wishes for you are the same, may we all live in peace and harmony.
Changes of the Good Kind
When newclevelandradio.net first launched, the concept was that the format would be sports, with a sprinkle of opportunity talk shows and entertainment interviews. In the last 14 plus months, there have been various changes of the good kind. We have added many new shows while saying goodbye to others that chose to re-invent themselves or let someone else step in with a new format. We are in the process of evolving and we are excited to inform all of our advertisers and prospective advertisers we now can calculate our listeners not only for a live record show but for all podcasts. I am still creating this format and as of today, we have the following show’s setup.
Care Notes – Homecare assistance – The Elderly and Senior Citizens (Cherished Companions, Doug Wilber)
https://www.spreaker.com/show/care-notes-from-cherish-companion-s
Just B Cuz with cousins Jeff & Steve sharing family stories, sports, business, as well as featured guests
https://www.spreaker.com/show/just-b-cuz
Lyft Diaries – Stories of a Lyft & Uber Driver with Morgan
https://www.spreaker.com/show/lyft-diaries-morgan-a-lyft-uber-driv
What in the World with Paul Seaburn – Real stories, not fake new, weird and humorous
https://www.spreaker.com/show/what-in-the-world-with-paul-seaburn
D5 Creation