Don’t Call Me a Widow – Part 24

Finding My Balance in the Midst of Change

I’m taking a pause from the purging — not just the physical clearing, but the emotional unraveling that’s been woven into these past six months. I’m accepting my current status quo, recognizing that some changes were created by me and others were created for me. Since January, I’ve connected and reconnected with family and friends, and I’ve also stepped back where I needed space. Grief has a way of revealing who truly matters and what living fully will require. I’m choosing to surround myself with kindness.

This weekend, I realized that the purging wasn’t only about “stuff.” It included long‑held thoughts and beliefs that were keeping me from being true to myself. As these old ideas surface, I know I need to sort through them carefully and decide what no longer has value in the life I’m building.

I’ve been fortunate to meet new friends who are adding something meaningful to my days, and I’m looking forward to growing those relationships. But first, I need to sift through the emotions that are intensifying at this six‑month mark.

Depending on which philosophy you follow, grief has patterns. The well‑known Kübler‑Ross stages — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance — describe common reactions, but they’re not linear or universal. They’re descriptive, not prescriptive. Grief also comes in waves, rising and falling without warning. Sadness, anger, relief, guilt, numbness, confusion — they all move through me, sometimes all in one day. This is exactly where I am right now.

And when thoughts slip away, concentration falters, and conversations start sounding like the muted “wah‑wah” of a Charlie Brown adult, that’s grief fog. It’s real, and it happens.

Grief affects the body as much as the mind. Weight changes, headaches, allergies, digestion issues, sleep disruption — even heart complications. Broken heart syndrome is a real condition. A surge of stress hormones, especially adrenaline, can temporarily disrupt the heart’s ability to pump. Mayo Clinic explains that these hormones can tighten the arteries or “stun” the heart muscle, causing sudden dysfunction.

As I often remind my life‑coaching clients:

• Mindfulness matters.
• Being thoughtful isn’t being judgmental — it’s being aware.
• Mindfulness helps us function at our best when grief stirs our emotions.
• Allowing grief to ebb and flow is necessary and healthy.
• Seeking support is essential, and not all support is equal. Choose wisely.

Join me on this journey — through the clearing, the reconnecting, the waves, and the rebuilding — as I learn to live fully in the life that’s unfolding.

#YesICan Coaching with Karen

Email: Kh.yesican1@gmail.com

DONT CALL ME A WIDOW