Don’t Call me a Widow – Part 17

Migraine or Not? Learning to Listen to My Body

The last couple of weeks have been a maze of headache pain. Some mornings I wake up already knowing the culprit — the way I slept, the angle of my neck, the tension that builds into that familiar tightness and throbbing. When I catch it early and use my TENS unit along with medication, I can usually get ahead of it. But sometimes my mind drifts into that old pattern of “let’s ride this out,” and that isn’t always the wisest choice.

After decades of medication, I’m trying to find relief as naturally as possible. And sometimes, yes, it works. As a migraine survivor — a term I’m claiming for myself — I’m always searching for tools and practices that bring comfort without relying on anything or anyone. But pain has a strange way of playing tricks on the brain. Thoughts get tangled, anxiety rises, and the intensity can spike before it finally begins to settle.

We each have our own relationship with pain. Once we learn the language of our body, we gain a measure of control. I’ve accepted that migraines are part of my chemistry. Acceptance doesn’t mean surrendering to the discomfort or confusion they bring. It means understanding what I can do to reduce the pain, eliminate it when possible, or ride it out with intention.

What I do for migraine pain mirrors how I live my life — and how I guide others as a Life Coach. Comfort isn’t a straight line. To reach it, we often walk through obstacles that challenge us. But through searching, learning, and adjusting, we carve out smoother pathways.

These last five months since Rich’s passing have forced me to walk a new trail. I’ve had to make choices, including taking better care of myself. That care looks like listening to my body, resting when I need to, nourishing myself, and reducing anxiety wherever I can.

Rest, for me, means stopping. Feeling myself in the moment. Breathing slowly. Letting the toxins, the confusion, the intrusive thoughts release. Letting go of anything that doesn’t serve me right now.

Mindfulness is a practice — ongoing, imperfect, and deeply human. It takes patience and repetition, but once it becomes part of your rhythm, it creates a sense of lightness, even happiness. Mindfulness trains your body, your emotions, and your environment to exist without judgment. When you notice your thoughts, you get to choose which ones support you and which ones don’t. When you feel your breath, your neck, your shoulders, your back, you gain the ability to adjust.

Emotions will shift — from happy to sad, from calm to overwhelmed — and that’s okay. Mindfulness helps you understand those shifts and work with them instead of against them. Life isn’t a perfect system. But we can build a more comfortable path, one with fewer potholes to fall into.

Living with awareness and acceptance — not perfection, not silence — is how we keep moving. It’s how we stay present. It’s how we live.

Join me on this journey.

#YesICan Coaching with Karen

Email: Kh.yesican1@gmail.com