Don’t Call Me a Widow – Part 27

Tripping

I woke up this morning feeling like I’m tripping. No, I haven’t taken anything psychedelic, but my body feels queasy and my mind strangely disconnected. It’s as if I’m moving in slow motion — and what surprises me is that I’m actually okay with it. That’s not my usual rhythm. Normally I’m moving a mile a minute, or at the very least my brain is in overdrive. My instinct is always to figure things out, correct them, and move on. But today my mind is telling me something different: ride the wave. Maybe this is a reset, and maybe my body is finally insisting that I listen.

Ever since I completed my life‑coaching certifications over five years ago, I’ve been coaching myself through my own experiences — observing, adjusting, and asking the all‑time question: How is that working for me? What I’m sensing this morning is that this odd, trippy feeling is actually working for me. It’s nudging me to go with the flow. It’s giving me space to simply be — something I’ve spent most of my life trying to get comfortable with.

This experience is offering clarity: I need to nurture myself.

I talk about self‑care often, and I do practice it, but I still carry old beliefs that self‑care is selfish. Those old voices can be destructive. Yet this strange feeling today is helping wash some of those voices away.

The need‑to‑know part of me went searching for answers. What I learned is that it’s not unusual for the world to feel tilted. It’s the brain’s way of protecting itself from emotional overload — something I’ve been living with:

• Sleep deprivation (waking several times a night and rising at dawn)
• Emotional strain (noticing aches and pains)
• Behavioral shifts (wanting to cry or even scream without knowing why)
• Physical depletion (my nightly 30–40 minute bike ride has dropped to 15–20 minutes)
• Constant processing (my own thoughts and the emotional weight of others)

I’m approaching the six‑month mark, and studies show this is a time when grief often shifts. Shock wears off. Reality settles deeper. The body reacts in new ways. Feeling “off” can be part of that transition. Even if it’s normal, it doesn’t mean I’m comfortable with it — but recognizing it means I’m working through it. Awareness matters. Creating tools matters. Staying on pace with becoming the best version of myself matters. I am responsible for me. I’m not tripping — I’m grieving, and sometimes the ground beneath my feet is shaky.

As I continue down this path, I hope to be a resource for you as well as for myself. Even with this uneven feeling clouding my brain, I am determined to be okay. I can be, and so can you — but we have to make the effort. Nothing changes if we don’t step onto the train to tomorrow. Your past will come with you; your spouse doesn’t disappear. The future will look different and strange at first, but that’s what happens when we choose to live forward.

Join me as we walk this path together.

#YesICan Coaching with Karen

Email: Kh.yesican1@gmail.com

DONT CALL ME A WIDOW