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Today was an amazing day, the first of many Sherapy: Therapy with Sherry Amatenstein. Sherry is an NYC-based psychotherapist and author. Her podcast is a little unconventional for some. Still, it is becoming more traditional, especially to Millennials, as well as working professionals who want to participate in therapy but are limited on time and travel. Each episode of Sherapy is a 50-minute therapy session. The aim is to demystify and destigmatize psychotherapy. Too many people in distress still suffer silently. None of the participants are her private patients. On Sherapy, a person can receive complimentary therapy and remain anonymous. If interested, please contact Sherry at firstname.lastname@example.org
I am so excited to have Sherry Amatenstein on our podcast show real she may be heard by clicking on https://newclevelandradio.net/sherapy-real-therapy-with-sherry-amatenstein-3/real-therapy-with-sherry-amatenstein_podcasts/ – choose a streaming service to listen to this podcast.
Sherry Amatenstein (Licensed Clinical Social Worker) is the author of The Complete Marriage Counselor: Relationship Saving Advice from America’s Top 50+ Couples Therapists; Love Lessons from Bad Breakups; and Q&A Dating Book.
She writes advice columns for www.womansday.com, www.thirdage.com andwww.brides.com, and is frequently called upon to give relationship advice on many national radio and TV programs, including The Today Show, Early Show, Inside Edition, GMA Live, CBS News, and HuffPost Live.
I hope you will enjoy the show and learn more about yourself by listening to others share their journeys.
We have some news to report, and much we are excited to be offering here at newclevelandradio.net
*Beginning next week, we will be rolling out SHERAPY with Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW is an NYC-based psychotherapist and author of The Q&A Dating Book, Love Lessons From Bad Breakups, and The Complete Marriage Counselor (www.marriedfaq.com). She edited the anthology, How Does That Make You Feel: True Confessions From Both Sides of the Therapy Couch. Before becoming a therapist, she spent two years volunteering at a suicide hotline. She was also an interviewer for Steven Spielberg’s USC Shoah, a foundation dedicated to taking audio-visual testimony from Holocaust survivors. She is a former editor at Hearst and ivillage.com, and longtime journalist who has written for, among other publications, The Cut, Hemispheres, Brides, Good Housekeeping, The Week, vox.com, and Washington Post. She runs workshops on defanging your trauma and tapping into your inner strength and has offered advice on Today, CBS, and NPR. When pressed, she admits to having conducted a pre-marriage counseling session on an episode of CMT’s My Big Redneck Wedding.
*In January, Amy Ferris will begin podcasting with us as well, and her first series will be on REDEMPTION with her co-host Teresa Stack.
In getting to know Amy, she is more than an author, editor, screenwriter, and playwright. She is an amazing sister to many as she tells it like it is with words some may choose not to want to hear, but it is time to listen. Amy Ferris understands the human spirit; she has and continues to live it and share it. You will fall in love with this new podcast series as it exemplifies the mission of newclevelandradio.net. Our mission is to encourage living in a manner that provides you with happiness while not infringing upon the life of another.
Additionally, Teresa was the President of The Nation and continues to write and advocate for what is right and just. This series should be a dynamic conversation and help enlighten and encourage pure awareness and forgiveness for us to heal emotionally and become a fair and robust community.
*Also in January, Michael Gershe, Speaker, author, comedian, advocate against impaired driving. Landscape photography is his passion, as well. As the Founder and Executive director at The Magic of Life Foundation, Michael will share his stories and bring on guests who will discuss what impaired driving means. As the new James Bond trailer states, “No Time to Die,” this should be our time to live!
*2020 is going to be our year as Melinda Smith will be expanding her Heart Mojo Series and adding, “Are You Ready for the Future?” This is not just about estate planning; it is so much more. Let’ s begin planning for where we want to be as we walk/run through this journey of life. Not everyone has a partner, children, or relatives that are part of their inner circle, and it will be up to us, the community to come together to lend a helping hand if needed. Senior life should be the next stage and experience everyone can cherish, but we must prepare for ourselves, our parents, and grandparents. Are you Ready?
*We are in negotiation with Comedy Mike Conley for a bi-weekly comedy show, including helpful hints, tricks and coaching of the trade. Mike and I will encourage other comics, and Open Mic Want to BE’s to join in on the discussion.
*Have you heard of Saul Paul? If not, you need to check him out – He is a musician with a message but more than that he has transformed himself to be the person he wants to be and the person you and I can admire. He has seen tough times and good times, and he is not afraid to speak of them and help guide us. Also, check out his book, “Be the Change: A Story of Transformation.” I admire this man so much. I need to know more, and so will you! We hope to have him join us this coming year.
*Sheila Weller is impressive, and if we are lucky, she will join us as well, bringing us information, discussions, and interviews with and about Iconic Women. Sheila Weller is the best-selling author of a ton of books, most recently: Carrie Fisher, Life On The Edge (a stunning book!), and her very exquisite book: Girls Like Us – which is the definitive book on women in rock n’ roll – Joni Mitchell, Carly Simon, Carole King.
- We will continue to bring you a new version of Care Notes – Doug Wilber and his staff at Cherished Companions have been winners in the Home Health Care Field. We are living in a time when this a vital need for many. Care Notes took a mini hiatus, but we look forward to their return in the new year.
- What in the World with Paul Seaburn and John DiNallo will continue their weekly gig, this is the only show we currently record on location at Joe Maxx Coffee Company in Brecksville, Ohio. Joe Maxx is the current sponsor of this REAL and STRANGE COMEDY NEWS Show that also includes SPORTS, unlike the way you may have heard sports before.
- Lyft Diaries with Morgan is a monthly series on the life of a Lyft and Uber Driver. Morgan shares her experiences as well as inviting other drivers to join in her humorous manner of retelling the incidents that may happen in a Lyft or Uber. Dental Works is now sponsoring this show.
- Katie the CarLady with Coffee is a bi-weekly series on cars (and coffee). Katie has been in the car business for 20+ years, and she is not your average Car Salesperson. The Car Lady treats you like she would want to be treated. She ensures you are educated and engaged in the car purchase, Lease, or maintenance program you may need. If you want to understand how to buy or lease a car, this is the podcast for you. If you want to know how to find the best mechanic to care for your vehicle (remember this is an investment), she will lead you. If you’re going to become more versed in the process and language of car sales well, tune in.
- The Intentionality Gurus with Candace Pollock continues, and we welcome you to join in. Candace is a personal coach. Each session, she walks me through an exercise, and I have the opportunity to explore what works for me, what doesn’t, and delve into the reason WHY. This podcast is gaining great success; it is not a therapy session; it is about becoming YOU as you understand the dynamics in life and how you choose to view them and respond.
We expand on many of our music interview shows as well, including:
- Café Lena Meet the Performers & More
- Conversations with Comics with NO COFFEE (Hilarities)
- Entertainment Talk with EMPKT
- JFTSOI with Gary Moss _ SCRABBLE more than a Game, a Way of life
- The Universal Language of Music
- Original Music with the Approval 2 Play
Amy Ferris, thank you for sharing your words. In Memory of beloved cousin, Stuart Freedman Colby, you were loved by many and recognized for the kind and wonderful individual you were. I think Stuart often and my heart hurts that he had to hide and live without the support of his parents. We all should live our lives to enrich the community we are all part of.
World AIDS Day- Amy Ferris
A day we remember those we loved & lost; friends and family, neighbors and co-workers, lovers and partners.
A day we stand up for and with – alongside – those we love & cherish who are living with HIV/AIDS.
A day we honor all the activists & all the warriors & all the human rights champions – all the extraordinary humans – all the men & women – who fight every single day of their lives against discrimination and the stigma; who showed us and taught us that silence is not golden – to be loud and noisy and to make a fucking ruckus.
What is a podcast? Why Should I list? Why would I want to create one?
A podcast is a digital recording. Here at newclevelandradio.net, we have several podcast hosts who record with us and place their recordings on our site that where it is distributed to various listening platforms such as iHeart, Spotify, Google, Spreaker, etc. Each podcast has a host, and I (Karen Hale) produce, engineer, and develop social media for each program.
Check out https://newclevelandradio.net/podcasting-line-up/
Gary Moss (https://newclevelandradio.net/jftsoi-taking-you-on-a-journey/) suggested to me that this would be an ideal platform for parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends to share their legacy/life journey.
When Gary began podcasting with us, he had just started his 77 Sunset Trip, driving cross-country to play Scrabble™, meeting up with friends and family from the past as well as finding new and exciting individuals along the way. One such individual was a mechanic who fixed Gary’s car during his travels for under $5 (who would have thunk?)
This is when our proverbial wheels started to turn. We all have so much to share (not the FAKE NEWS,) but the journeys we have taken in life and our experiences that have helped influence us and others. So with the assistance of Gary in Southern California, and specifically in his Senior Citizen community, we are offering this service to YOU!
What a great holiday gift this is for your family as well as for others.
Too often, we forget that our elders have the wisdom to share by leading us down the path they have traveled. The stories they will bestow will enlighten as they explore their past. The history recorded will allow them to leave behind their thoughts and wishes. A podcast will provide them the venue to remember and share their memories guiding us all through our tomorrows.
Contact email@example.com for more information or firstname.lastname@example.org
A lot of my friends – tons of friends – are alone this year, this Thanksgiving. Many folks are estranged from their families; from friends or from a life they once had & held.
I know this feeling. Estrangement.
And I will tell you that there were many days – many days – more than I care to count – where I’d rewind, replay, re-adjust, re-calibrate, recall, & review all the crazy ass-shit that went down, all the shit that went sideways & just blew up. Imploded. The pain was unbearable. And what I can tell you, what I know – most of the guilt & shame & regret we carry around – schlep around – is not our own. It’s not. We inherited it; a collection – a greatest hits album – an entire lifetime of family history: the anger, the shame, the guilt; years of he said, she said, they said. Fuck you, no, no fuck you. fuck you more. Years of crap. Years of garbage piled on top of more garbage.
Years of mistakes & wrong turns & rebellion that are treated like felonies instead of misdemeanors – without forgiveness, or acceptance. There is nothing worse than having the past thrown up in your face over & over & over again. To be reminded of all the crazy crap you did when you didn’t know better. When all you wanted was to be seen, to be heard, to be held – when all you wanted was to be loved.
And the truth is – the rub is – everyone has their own shit.
Everyone has their own guilt.
Everyone has their own crap that they have dealt out, that they spewed, that they tossed into the heap.
Everyone has stuff that they need/want to hide, keep secret. Everyone has stuff they want hidden deep – way deep – kept in the darkness.
We are all broken. We are all filled with shards and jagged edges and sharp pointy pieces that can hurt like a motherfucker. We are all imperfect creatures. Each & every one of us, and my heart breaks, cracks, for all my friends who will sit alone this year wishing for forgiveness over stuff they said or did when they were younger. Foolish. Over mistakes they made because all they wanted was to be loved or liked, over actions they took, words they said, because they wanted a piece of a memory, a token of a love from someone they once cherished, adored. A reminder to hold. Wishing to hear the words: I’m so sorry. To hear the words: I was wrong. To hear the words: I hurt you, abused you, mistreated you.
We treat our own so unkindly and we wonder why the world is so deeply chaotic, so deeply troubled, so deeply wounded, so deeply steeped in pain & suffering; so unforgiving, so horribly mean-spirited.
So for all my friends and all the folks out there who are deeply, deeply pained, who are sorrowful during the holidays because they have been discarded, dismissed, forgotten, left out – please know this – we get to choose who we wanna share our lives with. We get to choose who we want in our lives. We get to choose the folks who lift us, inspire us, make us feel like we swallowed the sun. We get to choose who we walk side by side with, and stand with. We get to choose who we love. Blood may be thicker than water, but water is so much easier to clean up.
So, please, love yourself.
Please, forgive yourself.
Believe in the greatness of your own life.
Believe in your beauty.
Believe in your own amazing, stunning, messy, complicated, gorgeous life.
And if anyone – one soul – makes you feel that you are not worthy, not enough; if anyone makes you feel small, insignificant, less than – they do not deserve the privilege of you.
I hold you tight.
I had my flashlight to warn approaching cars that there was an idiot walking on the road, I had my mobile device tracking every step and change of location, I even had a bright blue jacket and some soiled day-glo yellow gloves to give me a much more formidable appearance than I usually try to project….. but still…. at one point… when i looked up to the sky and saw Orion….and felt the fickle kiss of the changing breeze on my cheek….. I looked for the darkest place I could find… not to hide… no…. … not to hide…. sometimes the best place to be is where you can watch things happen around you and try to decipher the confusing signals all around you…. waiting for the right moment might be a lost art…. i don’t know…. I just don’t know…..
Ray, thank you for allowing us to post the link to your story https://medium.com/@rayngoldberg/the-three-stories-where-i-have-to-deadname-myself-644985dc26eb
You are an amazing individual that I am proud to call friend, and almost MISPACHA (family.) As we approach 2020 many changes in our world/society are evolving and if we are lucky we can journey in life that makes us feel whole. Too many of us have traveled down many paths taking right turns when we felt the urge to turn left, or going straight when we saw something on the horizon to our right. It takes courage to climb a mountain but when we do and we reach the APEX we can agreed that the sight is beautiful.
I hope your beautiful story will enlighten and encourage others to live life and dance as if no one is watching!
Donald trump is not “feeling up” America, people, he is FUCKING her; he is fucking her and he is abusing her and he is raping her and he is doing this every single day. He is trafficking her. He is trafficking America, selling her out – selling her, period.. This is how he treats women. Enough of this horrifying ugly nasty shit. Enough of this vulgar man. Enough of him and his ilk. Any man who can claim that he can grab a woman by her pussy because… he can – because he has the fame and the means and the money, any man who mocks the disabled, any man who claims the truth is fake news, any man who leads his followers to chant consistently and repeatedly Lock Her Up Lock Her Up Lock Her Up, any man who demeans & disgraces & devalues women, any man who throws his allies under a bus, any man who stands with White Supremacists & White Nationalists, any man who tosses babies into cages, any man who lies through his teeth…any man like this would be out on bail awaiting trial.
I don’t want him impeached, I want him impaled.
It’s been a long day, filled with some unexpected turns & doctor appointments and here is what I wanna say to each & everyone reading this:
I was in Walmart today, feeling up the fruit in the produce department, when the news came that there was another shooting, more dead – in another Walmart outside Oklahoma – and I was standing next to a woman who stared down at her cell phone and shook her head and said: It scares me to go out. Yes, I said, I know, I know. And with that, she left her cart in the middle of the produce department and ran out of the store.
She ran out of the store.
And please, I do not want any shit about being in a Walmart feeling up some fruit.
This is not how we should be living. In worry and fear and panicking and watching our backs and waiting for our children to return home from school and holding onto our hearts and texting friends and family who live near the shooting and calling our partners’, lovers, husbands, wives, just to hear their voice because … because… you just never know, you just never fucking know, and no one is immune to this god awful horrific shit.
No one is immune.
You just never know.
Another shooting, another day filled with fear & panic and worry, another day with the lying lowlife conman grifter sexist, racist rapist motherfucker living in the White House who doesn’t give a flying fuck that folks are being massacred in this Country.
This is not how we should be living.
To quote Elijah:
We are better than this.
Hey reader, I have a question for you. What is it like, being cisgender in the tech industry? What sort of challenges have you faced? Do people treat you well? It must be really scary, being yourself in such a competitive and high-speed environment.
If you’ve never been asked these questions before, then congratulations; you are not an out transgender person who works in tech. In fact, it’s possible that you may have asked somebody else these questions in the recent past. That’s OK! It’s natural to be curious, and I’m sure you want to be a good ally to your trans coworkers. How will you know how to act if you don’t ask questions, right?
Today’s your lucky day, because I am going to tell you the definitive answer to “what does it mean to be transgender in the workplace?” After you read this, you will never have to ask another trans techie about their experiences, because you will already know the answer, and will be able to act accordingly.
Are you ready?
Being a transgender person in the workplace means having this exact conversation, over and over and over, forever. The question can only be answered by the question itself, ad infinitum. We often spend so much time justifying our presence to others that it begins to feel like our reason for being there in the first place. Why are we here? We’re here to tell you why we’re here.
I’m not here to make you feel bad for asking these questions. Well, maybe a little bit, but I want you to understand when your well-intentioned allyship stops being helpful and starts being intrusive. The fact of the matter is that we’ve got a job to do here, same as you; we just have a few more obstacles to maneuver around as we do it.
If you are serious about making your office a more inclusive environment, remember that changing these things is hard work. Your LGBTQIA+ coworkers will probably want to help or advise you, but it’s as unreasonable to expect them to do it all for you as it would be to have employees with mobility issues to commission handicapped parking spots. We can do it, but it’s not in our job description, and it’s an unnecessary amount of physical and emotional labor to demand of us on top of the actual work we are there to do.
With that in mind, here are some easy steps you can take towards making your workplace welcoming to transgender people. This list is by no means exhaustive, but you’ll find that even these small changes can have a remarkably positive effect on morale, engagement, and teamwork.
First and foremost, respect people’s pronouns. Yes, including the singular “they”, and yes, including ones you haven’t seen before. Consistently misgendering people is the fastest way to make them feel that they are in a hostile environment. Model correct pronoun use yourself, and reprimand cisgender employees who refuse to do so themselves.
Will you get pronouns wrong? Almost certainly. Contrary to what the media may tell you, transgender workers can tell the difference between mistakes and malice. When you do slip up, apologize, correct, and move on. Dramatic mea culpas do more to make us uncomfortable than using the wrong pronoun now and then ever could, because it makes us feel like the jerks in the situation.
An easy way to head off these confrontations is to normalize including pronouns when introductions are called for. This might seem odd to you; one complaint I’ve heard several times from cisgender people is “but my pronouns are obvious.” Good for you, but this isn’t the case for everybody. If the only employees in your company that introduce themselves with their pronouns are transgender, then that’s a way they are othered, a marker that they are separate from everyone else. By making pronouns a default part of introductions, then this barrier between cis and trans workers is torn down.
Does this seem like a lot? It really isn’t, but be prepared for pushback. For some people, even this small amount of consideration will be far too much. The people who push back hardest will probably surprise you; some of them will be people you’ve worked alongside for years, people whose politics you thought you understood. Transphobia isn’t limited to any side of the political spectrum, and can be found in even the most empathetic and liberal individuals.
This leads us to a harsh truth. Transphobia cannot be tolerated in the workplace, whether it manifests as refusing to respect a coworker’s pronouns or harassing them for using the correct bathroom. When it occurs, if you really are serious about fostering an inclusive environment, then your transgender employees will look to you for support. Be prepared to offer sensitivity and diversity training to employees who exhibit transphobic behavior. Stricter disciplinary actions may even become necessary.
Being an ally isn’t easy; as somebody once told me, it’s a verb, not an adjective. It means putting yourself out there, to serve as a shield between your marginalized employees and those that would harm them through actions and words. It also means being open to criticism, and accepting that you do not understand transgender people’s experiences the way you understand your own. If you have the strength, humility, and empathy, then you can make your workplace a beacon of inclusion.