Now more than ever, we all need to take time to recharge. This week’s topic – sleep – is the body’s natural way of recharging our emotional, mental, and physical batteries every night.

Yet, studies show that one-third of American adults don’t get the recommended seven to nine hours of sleep each night. Just getting to sleep is an issue for many people. And physical problems, environmental disturbances, or emotional concerns can often interrupt a good night’s sleep.

I’ve had plenty of issues with sleep, and I’ve found that having a consistent routine around sleep hygiene has made a huge difference. Here are some things I do to help me get to sleep:

• Get plenty of exercise during the day. My goal is to get 3,000 to 10,000 steps a day.
• Turn off all technology at least one hour before bedtime … my goal is two to three hours before bedtime … and no TV in the bedroom!
• Limit caffeine. I’ve tried this in many ways, and no caffeine after my morning coffee works best for me.
• Don’t eat after 8 p.m. Did you know that some foods (citrus, spicy, fatty, and heavy) can disrupt your sleep? I’ve set a goal to “close” the kitchen after dinner.
• Control the lighting and temperature. I’ve removed just about all the ambient lighting in the bedroom and turned down the thermostat a notch. Did you know that cooler temperatures help you sleep better?
• Once I’ve checked the above boxes and tucked myself in to bed at night, I say a prayer of gratitude for all the good in my day.

Another way to improve sleep quality is to focus on your breathing. One thing we’ve heard over and over again from the participants in our breathing meditation classes is that they get their best night’s sleep of the week after the classes! That’s because of the great work of our facilitators – Polly, Sarah, and Cathy.

Here are some breathing techniques that have helped me:

• 2:1 Breathing – There are different variations of this, but in all of them, the exhale is twice as long as the inhale. For example, breathe in for a count of four, then exhale for a count of eight. Or try a five count for the inhale and a ten count for the exhale. Just be sure the ratio is 2:1. This stimulates the relaxation response and prepares the body for sleep.
• 4-7-8 Breathing – This is the same as above, but with the added step of retaining the breath for seven counts before you exhale.

I can tell you from experience that if I wake up at night, focusing on my breath instead of whatever is repeating through my head can help me get back to sleep.

Maybe it can help you, too. Consider joining us for a breathing meditation class soon. We’d love to have you!

Kristi Horner
Founder and Executive Director
Courage to Caregivers

Today is a SPECIAL DAY – one of my truly BFF’s and her Prince Charming got married 39 years ago today (and thanks to Prince’s mother the beautiful Iris,) I met my Prince Charming the day before at their rehearsal dinner!
I met Helene right after I separated from my ex-husband, she became not only my friend but also a sister, cousin, aunt, and sometimes mother of advice. Helene is the best friend everyone wants. She understands you (me), and even though we can go months and sometimes years without a real conversation, our connection is honest and robust. I have known my BFF 40 plus years, and we will continue this friendship for eternity.
It’s a funny story about how I met Richard the day before their wedding. Rich, the friend of the groom (Lanny), was also the videographer for their wedding, and in my life, at that time, I had a plant and floral business, so I was their floral designer as well. As we met at the Temple for the rehearsal, in walks Richard in a white suit – reddish cropped beard – looking like he owns the place and I mistake him for the Rabbi (only to learn later he was not, and he also wasn’t Jewish, OH MY!)
Rich and I collaborated on the ceremony details, and at the end of rehearsal, I went home while the rest of the party went to dinner. (This was in the days before Cell Phones!) When I walked into my townhouse, I heard a message playing on my answering machine, and it was Lanny suggesting I come to the dinner, Richard requested my presence, and Iris was quick to accept his wish. Without thinking twice, I turned around and went to the dinner.
At dinner, I felt like Richard, and I had known each other for years. We sat with four of his friends, and they included me as if we were all life-long companions. After the dinner, the guys separated and went to a mini bachelor party held in the hotel room of one of the male guests, and the women went back to Helene’s place, and chit chatted. I don’t think an hour elapsed before Rich and Will (Lanny’s brother-in-law) came over to Helene’s room, suggesting that it may be more fun hanging with the females, and slowly the other men converged on the room too.
By this point, Rich and I were on a mini date.
The next morning, I had to get up early to pick up the flowers and set-up the Temple (the Chuppah), and my new pal Rich, helped. That whole day we were inseparable, and when Helene arrived at the Temple to get dressed and have me prepare her make-up, she was smiling from ear to ear. Although she wasn’t sure, Richard was my perfect Prince Charming; she had witnessed the immediate connection. She gave me some words of wisdom, “BE CAREFUL!”
The wedding was beautiful, and the appropriate number of happy tears were shed. Rich and I took a stroll down the aisle right after I fell catching the bridal bouquet. I could say the rest is history because June 13, 1981, Rich and I met, and now we have been married 36 years because of the union between two of our friends and the huge heart of Iris Light.
Helene and Lanny have been extended family since that day 39 years ago, attending family events as well as accepting the honor to be our son’s God Parents.
In addition to Lanny and Helene, we gained Will and Cindy Metzger (brother-in-law and sister to Lanny.) We have been blessed because of their union on this day in 1981.
If you had told me on June 12, 1981, I would meet my Prince Charming, and thirty-nine years later, after many detours in our lives, the four of us would still have a lasting relationship despite – Sickness, Health, Richer and Poorer we are still standing strong!

Happy 39 years to Helen and Lanny Light, may you continue to LOVE!

Why should you want to Make History with the Virtual AgeMarch™ on 9/12/20?  Because the AgeMarch™ is for you – ONLY YOU CAN HELP PREVENT AGE DISCRIMINATION!  At some time or another, we have been faced with prejudice or discrimination based on our birth date.  It is like the story of the Three Bears, either it is too hot (TOO OLD) or too Cool (TOO YOUNG), rarely is it just or right!

Too often age or the appearance of it involves treating a person less favorably and that is not fair, nor is it the justice we all deserve to follow our passion and or perform a job.  People should not be discarded because someone believes with age comes an inability to function, the number of years someone has lived should not be a factor.  With age often comes experience, a worthwhile asset.

My friend, Barbara Rose Brooker, founded the AGEMARCH.org in 2010 and she has successfully brought people together to celebrate and proudly promote their AGE of ABILITY.  This year on the 10^th Anniversary we will be hosting a VIRTUAL AGEMARCH, allowing people from around the world to attend.  We want you to join us.

MAKE HISTORY!

Sign up on www.agemarch.org, for the first GLOBAL VIRTUAL AgeMarch in history. This will be on September 12, 2020 – AgeMarch was FOUNDED by Barbara Rose Brooker in 2010. Send your photo and sign with your age printed on it. Also, check it out at https://www.facebook.com/barbara.r.brooker

You will be on global zoom (YouTube) holding up your sign and each of you will share your story about why you’re on AGE MARCH. Help change our anti-age culture into a pro-age culture,  age equality for ALL,  promote a generation where age doesn’t count, and where people aren’t defined by age!

JOIN TODAY.

I’m Tired

It’s 2:53 am, and I am up and awake. When I took one of my nightly walks to the bathroom, my son approached me as I was walking out and said in a somber tone, mom, we need to talk. When your kid (no matter the age) asks to speak with you, sleepy or not, you listen. Alex reminded me of me when I was younger. I allowed my head to conjure up all types of fear, and I would trash them around and develop them. My mind’s eye would photograph each thought in bright techno-color. If I didn’t talk them through out loud, I would worry to the point of anxiety and depression. Hoping to help my son avoid those lows, I let him talk…All he wanted was for me to listen.
Many of us are not sleeping well during this strange time in our lives. The last time I remember feeling a sense of control outside of my home was in the ’60s and the race riots that were ragging. The news information we received then was not delivered 24/7, and we were dependent on the morning or afternoon paper and the evening news.
Back in the 60s, we didn’t spend much time calling family and friends outside of our area code as long-distance was costly and often used for special occasions, not daily chatter. We didn’t have social media or email, so even a letter or a blog like this would need to be mailed to the person you wanted to share with.
Since my youth, in the 1950s, I have witnessed many changes in life and have experienced stress, anxiety, as well as depression, but I refused to let the situations destroy me. I took the opportunity to create myself, often taking the fork in the road to keep me on a path of growth. However, to maintain my health, I must now find a way not to let the needs of others invade my calm. I must place the oxygen mask over my nose and breath so I can be of assistance when someone calls my name.

Ok – if you have been following the saga of my total knee replacement here is an update.

After seeing the surgeon last Thursday it was determined I needed that I needed outpatient PT and to center on the swelling and what appeared to be nerve pain.  Well, yesterday I went back to PT – WellPoint part of the UH system where I have gone previously, and not only did I learn a lot in one visit but I already have some relief.

First of all, surgeons only are concerned with if the surgery was completed cleanly and properly – which in this case it was.  So as far as the surgeon is considered any pain or issues are no longer under his/her watch but it is up to PT and if they can’t or if they find another underlying issue they would notify my doctor(s) upon my approval.

To begin with, although I have been riding a stationary bike, I learned for PT I should ride it in shorter cycles, this is not a marathon.  I also need to ice 2 -3 times a day even 8 weeks beyond surgery to reduce the fluid and swelling from ankle to thigh.  The PT, Sara provided me with information that now makes me more aware of why the pain has lingered, as the knee and leg were stretched, moved, and manipulated many times during surgery.  Also having a foreign appliance in the body takes time for healing and releasing the trauma.

Sara showed me how to massage from the ankle up to reduce fluid in the ankle and also to ice after I massage.  She also explained how to work out the scar on my need assisting the skin to flatten and not buckle or wrinkle.  She also gave me a list of exercises to do, many that I have been doing but again not in marathon style – I will get there.  I will be having two sessions a week for 3 -6 weeks and if I can accomplish a little less pain each day I bet in three weeks I will be outside strolling on my own leaving Rich is in the dust.

If by chance the pain is nerve involvement according to PT, it is due to the surgery and the swelling, and with time and exercising properly I should have relief.  I am so excited and sorry COVID19 kept me from pursuing this earlier but I am on the road to Walking down a new path.  #JOINME

4/15/20 From Amy Ferris – She knows what the FUCK she writes!

When you pulled the lever for trump in 2016, did you realize you were voting against humanity? All of humanity? Donald Trump declared – during 9/11 – that HIS buildings were the tallest BUILDINGS in New York City. Holy fuck, right? You can google that. He actually said that and doesn’t deny that he said that. Did you know that the reason your family is getting money for being a first responder has nothing to do with Rudy Giuliani or George Bush, it has everything – everything – to do with Senator Hillary Clinton fighting with everything she had so first responders would be compensated. Yeah, you can google that. Go on… google it. Hillary fought for you. Donald Trump didn’t give a shit about your life, he cared about filling the tallest building in New York – his building and charging an astronomical amount of money for rent. Yeah, google that. When you pulled the lever in 2016 you voted against Women’s rights and human rights and probably human’s who you say you love but don’t support legally. Gay rights, trans rights, health care… yeah, google that. You voted against the people you claim you love.

Posting April 3, 2020

Gas price a mile from home was $1.69
All schools abruptly moved online.
Self-distancing measures on the rise.
Tape on the floors at stores to help distance customers (6ft) from each other.
Restaurants closed, take out only.
Limited number of people inside stores.
Non-essential stores and businesses mandated closed.
Parks, trails, entire cities locked up.
The entire sports season canceled.
All of Disney World Parks closed.
Concerts, tours, festivals, entertainment events – canceled.
Weddings, family celebrations, holiday gatherings, funerals- canceled.
No masses, churches are closed.
No gatherings of 50 or more, then 20 or more, now 10 or less.
Children’s outdoor play parks are closed.
Shortage of masks, gowns, gloves for our front-line workers.
Shortage of ventilators for the critically ill.
Panic buying sets in and we have no toilet paper, no disinfecting supplies, no paper towels, no laundry soap, no hand sanitizer.
Shelves are bare.
Manufacturers, distilleries and other businesses switch their lines to help make visors, masks, hand sanitizers, and PPE.
The government closes the border to all non-essential travel.
Airline tickets are under $20 but we can’t travel.
Fines are established for breaking the rules.
Stadiums and recreation facilities open up for the overflow of COVID-19 patients.
Press conferences daily from the President and Governors. (Wine with Dewine)
Daily updates on new cases, recoveries, and deaths. (Snackin’ with Dr. Acton)
Government incentives to stay home.
Barely anyone on the roads.
People wearing masks and gloves outside.
Essential service workers are terrified to go to work.
Medical field workers are afraid to go home to their families.
“Flatten the curve” is a daily saying, along with “We are in this together,” and “Let’s meet on Zoom.”

Every Wednesday is Viagra Diaries https://www.spreaker.com/show/viagra-falls-with-barbara-rose-brooker with Barbara Rose Brooker. I love Wednesday because Barbara makes me smile from ear to ear. At 83, she still has her eyes set on becoming a “STAR.” Well, in my life, she has accomplished that as a daughter, woman, mother, writer, painter, teacher, public speaker, and a friend to those who meet her. Age is not a number to stop her or scare her from living life. In fact, like a fine wine, she too gets better. Barbara Rose Brooker does not seek to be Peter Pan, but she is not willing to stop dreaming and doing what makes her feel whole!

Leave it to this precious human being, who is a sister to womanhood, to always take me by surprise. Today she enlightened me to a new direction she wants to take her podcast series. So when she suggested we add a Zoom Meeting Podcast to her weekly series, how could I refuse? I love the idea of involving you, the listener, friends, family, and colleagues to join us as we discuss AGEISM / Viagra Falls. Let’s discuss life at any age and the relationships we develop. Are they good, bad, or previously unidentified? What is important to us? And does living have to stop because we reach a significant birthday? (NO!) We have the opportunity to feel whole.

During this time, when many of us are hunkered down in our homes, we awake each day to a new grey hair, or what we may consider being bedhead that only our stylist can resolve. Pedicures and manicures are growing out, and many may feel less attractive based on the images the Ad Agencies offer up. When we come out of this, will embrace our grey, changing our beauty regiments, or will be lining up to be the first to make our self over? There is no right or wrong answer, ask Barbara, who likes to dress up and fuss with her makeup as I do too! However, I still love myself with a clean, washed face without makeup and wrinkle concealer!

Coming together via zoom will open the discussion and understand the many messages Barbara Rose Brooker has discussed in her various books. Take a moment to download the kindle version of her newest book, Love Sometimes, or any of her other finely written manuscripts. Fall in love with this beautiful woman, and let’s chat!

http://postcoffeeprewine.com/posts-2020/

Donald Trump spoke today at a briefing and said the very words I posted below. Those words came out of his mouth. I suffer from depression; I tried suicide when I was 15 and a few years ago I created and compiled an entire anthology (Thank you Seal Press!) around suicide and depression and thirty-six brave & courageous, bold & fierce as all-mighty fuck humans contributed to that anthology – and I will tell you right now that his words, the ones I posted below, do not inspire or encourage or ignite hope. They instill fear and sadness and worry and worse, they instill defeat. If I have said it once, I have said it a million times, he does not deserve to be sitting in the Oval Office. He is not a leader, he is a bully, and fuck him for using the Presidency as a bully pulpit. It is up to each one of us – each and every one of us – to help every single human being who suffers from depilating depression and great sorrow and unbearable worry during this horrific health storm; to help every single human who is falling to their knees out of hopelessness, whether they are in prayer mode or collapsing under the weight of their own pain and worry, it is up to each one of us to help get through this together, and shame on him for not having the decency and humanity to inspire us, to lift us, to help carry us through this horrific and dangerous time.