Don’t Call Me a Widow  – Part 60-

Envious

It’s Friday, and if you grew up in the 50s or 60s, you remember what that meant. Friday was freedom. School was out, work was done, and the weekend stretched ahead like a promise. There were dances, house parties, sleepovers, and the feeling that life was happening everywhere you looked.

Even when I became a young working wife, Fridays still carried that sense of ease — a chance to let my hair down. Over time, of course, life shifted. Raising a family, juggling responsibilities, and the economy nudging us into multiple jobs changed the rhythm. But the memory of those carefree Fridays stayed with me.

In the last couple of years, Rich tried to bring some of that magic back. He made Friday nights special again — taking me out to dinner, sharing a meal, talking about everything and nothing. It was simple, and it was ours.

Now, as the story goes, it’s just me. I have friends and family I spend time with, but there’s no routine like the old days, and Friday nights can feel a little lonely.

I’m learning to take that loneliness and turn it into me time — writing, reading, finding something that steadies my mind and softens the empty spaces. I’ll admit, I envy the couples who are out tonight, and I hope they appreciate what they have. As much as I loved Rich, I didn’t always appreciate every moment. I’m human. There were times I wished for more. But I won’t let those moments distort the truth: even if life wasn’t perfect, it was wonderful.

I think back to something Bill Gates said in 1986/87 when Rich worked at Microsoft. During a training session, Bill told the group that no one would ever receive all 5’s on their evaluation. Perfection, he said, leaves no room for innovation or growth. That philosophy shaped Rich’s career — and eventually shaped mine, and Alex’s too. Rich taught himself to design programs for Fortune 500 companies, always taking the next step, always learning. And on nights like this, when the loneliness creeps in, I remember that lesson.

If life were perfect, there would be no grief. Grief is simply the emotion we feel when something meaningful ends — and scientifically, life has a beginning and an end. We influence life, but we don’t control it.

What we can control is how we live. We have a responsibility to choose peace and kindness. We don’t have to like everyone, but we do have to stop hating. We don’t have to be happy all the time — sadness, overwhelm, and “blah” days are part of being human. Life isn’t perfect, but appreciating the moments can turn an upside‑down smile right‑side up.

So yes, I may feel a little envious of the couples out tonight. My life isn’t perfect. But I’m OK. And tonight, I’m choosing to lift the corners of my mouth and turn my downturned lips into an upturned smile.

Please join me on my journey.

#YesICan Coaching with Karen
Email: Kh.yesican1@gmail.com