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Why I Podcast
Why do I Podcast? Well, you opened it up so sit back and hear my purpose.
When I was 16 and unsure of my teenage self, I took both a Speech and Debate Class and I excelled in both. It was an awakening to me that I had a quality that I had never identified with and that was COMMUNICATION.
Two years later in 1968 (I have evolved), when I started college, I chose Communications as my degree path and somehow got into all my 300 and 400 level classes and aced them while struggling in the required science, math, and history. My parents were not happy when after my second year I announced I had earned my associate’s degree. In 1970 they felt as if I wasted two years of tuition because there truly were not women in Broadcasting which was my DREAM.
Fast forward in life to 2008 when my youngest son was graduating high school, and I was an Advisor at a For-Profit College. I saw my son advancing beyond my dreams as well as the students I was advising. I realized at that time how good I was at my job and how much better I would be if I completed my degree in Communications and advance beyond. Working full time, being mom and wife and volunteering in various organizations, in 2012, I graduated with honors and within 6 months lost my job at the college. Feeling lost and abandon by the system, I took my degree to the next level and established myself as a blogger, podcaster, and now a coach.
This is my purpose in life to share my story and those of others to help at least one person who is listening to take the steps to find and achieve their purpose on ‘their’ terms. Although we are all unique, we have similar needs, wants, and dreams and if we listen and allow ourselves to be mindful, we can take the steps to achievement.
I podcast because it is my purpose to learn and share and evolve into the best version of myself.
40 YEARS of MARRIAGE
February 3, what this date means to me.
Forty years ago on February 3, 1984, Rich and I got married by Rabbi Eisenberg (May he REST in PEACE), witnessed by friends Debbie and Dave. Although I had been living with Rich since 1982, and we talked about marriage it was extremely important for me that when he asked and I said, “YES”, it would be for life.
I came into our relationship with what is often termed as baggage. I had been divorced for almost 2 years and I had custody of my son from that marriage who was almost 5 years old. I was living in Cincinnati when we met and Rich lived in Peninsula, Ohio, a 5-hour drive that I took every couple of weeks leading up to moving in, in 1982. We made the long-distance relationship work so moving in was the next step.
We became an instant family, accepted by his parents and his friends. However, we faced numerous obstacles including the cost of transportation so my son (Steve) could visit his father. Rich was involved from the get-go, but it started to take a toll on our relationship. Soon after we settled in my ex-husband was not happy about our new living relationship and this soon turned into a custody issue dragging us all through the court system. Although the court continued to grant me custody, on February 8, 1984, we were scheduled to go to court and face the judge. My attorney at the time suggested if we wanted to retain custody, we should get married. This led to our marriage in the Rabbi’s study on February 3, 1984.
Rich and I agreed to go through the formality, however I did not want to get married until this issue was resolved. Since I did not have that choice, we agreed to silently get married, if it didn’t work, we said we would end it in the future or plan another wedding that would include family and friends. Yes, we won custody in court after spending a lot of money (well worth it for my son), we returned home and decided to plan a summer wedding and we chose the date, July 15th.
Yes, this year we will be married for forty-years twice, does that mean we have been married for 80 years????
Now let’s talk about marriage. I am grateful for my first marriage as my son Steve is a gift from that union. Although I initially blamed his father for not (never) loving me, time has healed those wounds as I realize we were young when we met and got married and we were so different from each other that those differences divided us and created what now I see as a toxic marriage. I have learned so much over the years and acknowledge the divorce was needed for us to find our personal happiness. My son’s father and his wife will also be celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary this year.
When I met my husband, Rich, I realized for me that the second time was the charm. I married my best friend, and I became his lover and go to person. It has not been easy, we have faced numerous challenges and we have tripped over the obstacles, but even when we have stumbled and fell, we got up and brushed ourselves off and kissed and made-up.
Kissing and making up doesn’t mean you have to give up your opinion and turn your differences into a mutual like, it’s ok to be different and not always OK with each other.
Rich and I made it through a custody issues, two weddings in one year, and bringing family and friends together to accept our union even when some said it would not last. (Thank you all for the challenge but somehow, we have made it.)
Rich and I struggled having a child, many rounds of IVF that we were told would be covered by my insurance only to find out that they weren’t, and we had a billed of $40,000+ to pay. Three plus years of dreaming, hoping, and praying, and a miscarriage, in December 1989 we were finally pregnant. (This pregnancy almost didn’t happen, the night before the insemination, I was molested by a doctor.) With the love and support of my husband and my OB/GYN I went through the procedure because we knew it was the right decision.
Not easy getting pregnant, and not an easy pregnancy. Sick for the first three months, and Braxton-Hicks’s contractions for the last three months, we brought Alex into the World in August 1990. And all went well for the first 30 days until our baby became violently ill and underwent abdominal surgery. When we brought him home all went well for 6 years. At six Alex was diagnosed with Autism/Aspergers and faced the challenges of what Special Needs meant.
Alex made us better and stronger as we did our best, adjusting when needed, and allowing him and us to live in a more traditional and normal state. Life is not like in the Hallmark™ movies, and Facebook has provided me with the insight that ‘perfect’ does not exist, well maybe for an hour or two when we are playing at something we like and want to do. I wouldn’t change a thing, well maybe a few tweaks here and there.
Today, I have three special men in my life, my husband Rich, my son Steve, and my son Alex. I love all three of them and I feel blessed they love and like me too. As a teenager all I wanted was that one special guy and I was living to find him. When I met Rich (at Helene and Lanny’s wedding rehearsal, I was not looking for a relationship) I was beginning to feel secure as a single woman, single mom, and being single. However, as fate may have it, once I met Rich something clicked, and that feeling is still within me. I am with my person, and despite the fact that not every moment in the day is perfect, I would be lost without this man who continues to provide me with my independence. I am blessed that he accepted my oldest son and has been a father and friend figure for him for 40+ years. Rich is a wonderful father and has been involved from the first moment we conceived. He has been by side when we experienced the loss and miscarriages. He developed a strong loving bond with my parents and brothers taking a seat at the table.
When I told my mother Rich and I were getting married she commented, “The first time you marry for love, the second time for money…” Although this was to be a long-standing joke between us, I told her this time is for a lasting friendship/love with a man called Rich.
Here is to 40 Plus!
I LOVE RICH
2024
WHY KILL?
I am frustrated, angry and getting myself worked up into a state of depression. I do not understand how humans can become evil barbaric animals. Why is it necessary to become satanic and demand that if you do not fit a certain mold you are not worthy to live? Why is there so much hate against Israel! Even though it was named as a Jewish state in 1948, the Jewish population had not denied non- Jews to live within the borders. The Jews/Israeli’s did not start the fighting, and in fact if you ask many Jews living or visiting in Israel that the population is welcoming to all. It is the extremist that cause the wars and killing, destruction and my question is WHY. As children we learn to share and be polite and yet somewhere along the way the EXTREMISTS world wide start pulling innocent individuals into their circle or they kill them! In every religion isn’t killing for the sake of killing a sin of some format!
I have never had the honor of making Aliyah to Israel. The one time I had hoped and planned to go to Israel was in my senior year of high school, 1968, not the safest time, and yet when is the safe time to go, with those who hate just because of someone’s religion, traditions, and heritage.
In a conversation I had with my son the other day we were talking about our various friends we have and not once did we identify them as Black, Negro, African American, Asian, German, Christian, Moslem, Jewish, or LGBTQ+. Through work, in our neighborhoods, in the groups we have joined for social justice we know a variety of people and we do not select our friends based on their looks or their differences. I just learned one of my best friends is on the opposite of the political spectrum than I am and yet we are friends and we share so many other things in common and she is nice, why would I throw a friendship away. I will listen her side and she will listen to my side if we choose to share or we will leave those topics for our own personal use.
I do not tell my friends, business colleagues, or family members what to believe or not to believe. I do not want them to tell me either, however; I believe we all should be in relationships where we can voice our opinions without judgement from self or others. Changing from hate to love is not going to happen over night but we each can take one step to stop the hate and peace will be the winner. Are you willing to stop your hate?
More Than a Blog- It’s 39 Years of Marriage
Yesterday, July 15, 2023
Richard and I celebrated 39 years of marriage, but we’ve been together 41 years – as they say “Oy Vay!” Rich and I are not much on celebrations. In fact, in the early years, just as we are now, we were both working to make ends meet. Sometimes we drive up to Detroit to see my family for a free dinner out, and other times it was my dear mother-in-law who always made sure we did something special. That meant not going to McDonalds, but maybe to Pizza Hut for an all you can eat buffet. (Do they still have that?)
Once Alex was born our celebration included him and we went out to entertain him more than ourselves.
This year was different. For the first time in 32 years, we were alone for our anniversary. Alex is working and living in Fort Worth and circumstances did not provide him with the opportunity to come home. Steve was just here for Mother’s Day and truly he should be on vacation (he works too hard.) However, last night we were joined for dinner with new friends Kristi & Rob (who are now our new family). I met Kristi a year ago through an online group and despite our age differences and backgrounds growing up I know we are kindred spirits. Dinner was fun as they got Rich to share stories on how we met (Thank you Iris, Lanny & Helene), how he proposed (a long story, anyone for a McDonald’s), and much more including his life before we met…
Kristi picked up on something I posted yesterday that it was our anniversary (not the original reason for going out), and gave us the sweetest loving card, but also had a piece of chocolate Oreo cake brought to the table with a candle. The dinner and evening were wonderful, and it was simple. (Kristi and Rob, we must do this again, before next year!!!)
I know for some birthdays and anniversaries are celebrated for days and I hear some celebrate the whole month. We have never been like that, nor do I think we ever will be. The reality is we love each other as well as like each other and spending our lives together is a celebration. This year I missed so many of the people who were part of our celebration on July 15, 2024, including our parents who became friends and family over the years. My in-laws and my mom and dad enjoyed the company of each other, and they would get together when they were both in Florida and when my parents came to visit us.
Sadly, in addition to our parents no longer being with us, we have experienced the loss of friends, and other relatives who made our day a true MITZVAH. On that day I never thought we would experience the losses we have in 39 years. Naïve as I was, I thought our parents would be with us year after year to continue to acknowledge the longevity of our marriage.
When we announced, we were getting married we had friends who swore we would never last. Well to those who thought it or said it out loud, “Looks like we made it” despite the Manilow lyrics – we did not leave each other to find another. In fact, our gift to each other was a renewal for yet another year. We are on to 40!
Left Alex in Texas – healing on his own
I’ve been home about 36 hours and I am trying to catch up. Leaving Alex yesterday was not easy, we both agreed the time I spent with him was needed, and not just for his recuperation from surgery. Although I am his mother, being in his home made me take a step back. I did help him get organized something he’s been trying to do since he moved in December, but with work, Christmas break, and returning after the holidays ill, he just never got his things in order.
I respected his need for privacy, and he respected my efforts to keep him comfortable and on the road to wellness. Knowing that he still has a few weeks before he will be feeling more normal, I had to return home and leave him to sail his ship.
Sometimes as parents we tend to jump in and do the work for our kids and then one day, they have a problem, and they don’t know how to handle it. However, Alex has been observing us all these years and he is navigating his ship, steering away from the ice burgs. As a mom observing her child who is a young adult live on his own and prosper is a warm feeling of well done!
I think my fatigue is catching up with me and a good night’s sleep is needed. Tonight, when I lay my head on my pillow I know my sweet dreams will include both of my sons and my husband who are very special to me.
Good night, Rich…
Good night, Steve
Good night, Alex
“you are my sunshine…”
Doctor Mom can fix everything
A week ago, last night my son, Alex, called me crying in pain. Just thirty minutes earlier he and I were kibitzing on the phone. Initially he was incoherent, and I had to just listen and soothingly ask him to slow down. He described his pain that suddenly hit him as the worst GAS pain he ever had. I tried using my coaching skills to help him through this. Unfortunately, he had nothing at home to take for GAS pain!
I suggested he call EMS. I may be “doctor-mom” at home, but I’m not a doctor. He suffered for 12 hours before he called EMS. Once in the ER they aggressively attempted to identify the pain source and quickly ruled out any heart issues despite the pain across his chest. However, the ultrasound pointed to his gallbladder, and yet they continued to run tests to confirm it was gallbladder, and they finally gave him morphine to mask the pain. The surgeon came in around 6 pm (21 hours after this pain started) and discussed removing his gallbladder.
My husband and I searched for airline tickets to take us from Cleveland to Dallas so we could be there with Alex. Leaving Cleveland at 7 am we got to Dallas by 10:30 and went directly to the hospital to find Alex waiting for surgery. They finally took him into surgery at 1:30 pm, and the plan was to do a robotic gall bladder removal that would be less invasive. However, the doctor found his gallbladder to be 2 to 3 times its size filled with stones, the gallbladder was ripe to burst and if it had it could have been fatal! So, a one-hour procedure turned into 3 hours.
Alex’s dad left for home on Tuesday morning, and I am here in Fort Worth until Sunday morning. Each day he shows signs of healing and taking less pain medication as well.
I’ve had this great opportunity to spend time with my son in his home which has limited furnishings which has tested my ability to get comfortable on an air bed and sitting on a patio type chair. But all is good, and I enjoy his company when he is not sleeping, tweeting, or playing a video game.
Today we took a UBER to his office so he could organize his arrangements to work from home for at least the next week. At his office today not one person, but everyone I met shared their love for Alex. Until today, the staff only knew he was sick but would be OK, his boss and HR knew the extent of it. So, as he shared his story of what has transpired in the last week, they were all so glad to know he really would be OK, and pleased to see that I was around to help him through this week.
When Alex left our home in December to drive the 1000 miles to Texas I cried like a baby, and thought my heart was broken forever. However, as any parent knows when your child leaves to follow their dreams, time will prove that your heart will heal. My heart began the healing process with each phone call hearing his voice and sharing his experiences.
However, the night of Wednesday, April 5th brought me the emotional pain Alex was suffering physically. Although I insisted, he call EMS he was choosing to suffer rather than go to the hospital and as he said, spend money… All I could 1000 miles away was attempt to comfort him as he asked me to stay on the phone with him, hoping the pain would subside. Tonight, I feel such relief that my son is healing and prospering. He is where he should be, creating his career path and living life on his own. Now I realize his father and I taught him well, and I am proud of the man he is, even without a gallbladder!
Getting Older means WE R ALIVE AND EVOLVING
Women can be beautiful and amazing – it is time WOMEN like YOU & I 2 Believe in OURSELVES – JOIN me!
Help US GROW!
Become part of the newclevelandradio.net family
Have you ever thought about being a podcast influencer? We all have a passion for something and my passion has always been about helping others. For most of my life, I put the needs of others first, thinking if I helped them, it would make me happy, and in return, I would not have someone who may be able to assist me in the future if I was in need. However, life is not always as simplistic as that.
When I was a senior admissions rep at a college, the average student told me that they wanted to be a nurse because they wanted to help others. Many of these students were not prepared for the educational requirements to earn their degree and often felt defeated if they were not accepted into the program or did not maintain the grade to graduate. I remember telling them that you don’t have to be a nurse or a doctor to help people. In fact, there is a huge world of opportunities where we can help each other as well as ourselves.
As a rep, I was helping each of my students develop a path that was right for them. It was my job to guide them and if nursing wasn’t the answer to follow the fork in the road and see what else may be hidden out of view.
As a podcaster, I am guiding individuals as we expand our presence and offer virtually unlimited opportunities. Each one of us has made mistakes along the way and often sharing those errors opens our eyes, ears, and hearts to positive change. Positive change is our theme and it cannot come about with sharing the missteps that have brought us here to contribute.
If you would like to join our network please email Karen at [email protected]
Saturday – September 4th 2021
This past week has been less than enjoyable however I sought to find Happiness and Joy in my podcast recordings and take some ME-TIME in bits and pieces. Although I may dream of exotic vacations, or a day of self-pampering when I take mini breaks I am happier and it refreshes my thinking.
This week I have been experimenting with social media and groups that have formed to help individuals like myself (newclevelandradio.net), expand our network, our reach, and deliver a better product whether it be my website designing business or my love of communication through blogs and podcasting. However, as I dove in headfirst I became overwhelmed and it is not taking a toll on me. However, it is Saturday and I am switching hats to work my training and sales support part-time gig. Due to the holiday weekend as well as Rosh Hashannah beginning at sunset Monday, I will not be back at the podcast wheel except for one recording on Monday afternoon.
I need this time to regroup, reflect (as we do during the High Holy Days), and find my inner peace. As I am writing this I am experiencing ANXIETY that often proceeds my depression, but I am present and I am prepared to face it head-on and move on. A very special thanks to many of my friends and extended family friends who under that there is nothing to be ashamed about when we are vulnerable if we prepare for it and don’t let it pull us down into the RABBIT HOLE!
D5 Creation