Don’t Call Me a Widow  – Part 65–

Someone Hurts More than I Do!

The last twenty‑four hours have been rough. The discomfort from my fractures has intensified, but I’m managing it because I want to feel better — and I’m determined to heal.

As I sit here recovering, I find myself scrolling through social media, reading post after post from people I know and people I don’t. What strikes me is how many of us share similar stories of pain and grief. For some, the pain is acute — sharp, sudden, and temporary. For others, it’s chronic and relentless. I’ve lived with chronic pain since 1969, when migraines first entered my life, and I’ve spent fifty‑seven years learning how to coexist with them. We can adapt to the challenges life hands us, or we can succumb. I choose to adapt, and this past week has been no exception.

Growing up, if I complained or kvetched about life, my mother would remind me that others had it harder. If I didn’t believe her, she’d take me to the poorer side of town or to the children’s hospital to show me how blessed I was. I understood her point, but there were still moments when my pain felt unfair and overwhelming.

As an adult, I’ve learned to live more fully — even with physical discomfort — and to appreciate that pain is sometimes part of the healing process. Emotional pain can create physical pain too, and last night I caught myself holding in thoughts that were making everything worse. My breathing became rapid and shallow, which only heightened the discomfort. I had to consciously slow down, take deeper breaths, and relax as best I could. No one can do this for us. We are responsible for regulating our emotions, and positive self‑talk has become one of my most important tools.

Positive self‑talk is the practice of speaking to yourself in a way that is encouraging, supportive, and constructive rather than critical or fear‑based. It’s the inner dialogue that keeps us grounded and emotionally regulated, especially during stress or uncertainty. It’s a form of self‑care we all deserve.

Affirmations are the heart of positive self‑talk. I often repeat to myself, “I’m OK.” I don’t expect perfection — I just need balance, and “OK” is enough for me.

If you struggle to find your kind inner voice, seek guidance in mindful living. Find the path that brings you the peace and joy you deserve.

For those of us on the grief journey — and truly, that includes millions, even billions — we must give ourselves permission to be happy. As Oscar the Grouch sings, “Let a smile be your umbrella on a rainy, rainy day.” A smile can brighten someone else’s world, so why not ours?

As we strengthen our inner voice and reclaim our happiness, it’s also important to stay aware of the people around us and the impact they can have on our emotional state. But their impact only reaches us if we allow it. With mindful techniques and positive self‑talk, life becomes easier to navigate.

Please join me on my journey…#yesican Coaching with Karen

Kh.yesican1@gmail.com