Sunday – June 21, 2020
I think it was my paternal grandfather, Abe, who first laid this simple piece of folk wisdom on me, “If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, most likely…”.  Navel contemplators may have a burning passion to delve deeper into the spiritual or philosophical possibilities of that perception, but I’m pretty sure, most of the time, the feathery creatures, attempting to look adorably hungry to the strangers disregarding the “Do Not Feed the Ducks” sign, are ducks.  Ergo, racists are racist, liars lie, thieves steal, politicians spin, guns kill, bullies abuse and everyone poops.  At this unique moment in time, at the confluence of pandemic and racial unrest and mad king despotism in the White House, most of us are experiencing a moment of widespread clarity where it may just be possible to clean our very messy and disingenuous slate, if only we take this opportunity to stop trying to reimagine the obvious.  It is better to be at peace than at war.  It is better not to harm the life-sustaining nature of our planet.  It’s cool to be kind.  We can, should, must do better while abiding zero tolerance for inept, corrupt, ill-thinking public servants at every level of governance.  We are all created equal and everyone’s life is better when life is better for everyone.  Certainly, BLACK LIVES MATTER! Equally, blackened hearts DO NOT!  Quack

When you believe that #Black Lives Matter – you share your story – https://womensenews.org/2020/06/a-gift-for-my-racist-father-a-biracial-nephew

Now more than ever, we all need to take time to recharge. This week’s topic – sleep – is the body’s natural way of recharging our emotional, mental, and physical batteries every night.

Yet, studies show that one-third of American adults don’t get the recommended seven to nine hours of sleep each night. Just getting to sleep is an issue for many people. And physical problems, environmental disturbances, or emotional concerns can often interrupt a good night’s sleep.

I’ve had plenty of issues with sleep, and I’ve found that having a consistent routine around sleep hygiene has made a huge difference. Here are some things I do to help me get to sleep:

• Get plenty of exercise during the day. My goal is to get 3,000 to 10,000 steps a day.
• Turn off all technology at least one hour before bedtime … my goal is two to three hours before bedtime … and no TV in the bedroom!
• Limit caffeine. I’ve tried this in many ways, and no caffeine after my morning coffee works best for me.
• Don’t eat after 8 p.m. Did you know that some foods (citrus, spicy, fatty, and heavy) can disrupt your sleep? I’ve set a goal to “close” the kitchen after dinner.
• Control the lighting and temperature. I’ve removed just about all the ambient lighting in the bedroom and turned down the thermostat a notch. Did you know that cooler temperatures help you sleep better?
• Once I’ve checked the above boxes and tucked myself in to bed at night, I say a prayer of gratitude for all the good in my day.

Another way to improve sleep quality is to focus on your breathing. One thing we’ve heard over and over again from the participants in our breathing meditation classes is that they get their best night’s sleep of the week after the classes! That’s because of the great work of our facilitators – Polly, Sarah, and Cathy.

Here are some breathing techniques that have helped me:

• 2:1 Breathing – There are different variations of this, but in all of them, the exhale is twice as long as the inhale. For example, breathe in for a count of four, then exhale for a count of eight. Or try a five count for the inhale and a ten count for the exhale. Just be sure the ratio is 2:1. This stimulates the relaxation response and prepares the body for sleep.
• 4-7-8 Breathing – This is the same as above, but with the added step of retaining the breath for seven counts before you exhale.

I can tell you from experience that if I wake up at night, focusing on my breath instead of whatever is repeating through my head can help me get back to sleep.

Maybe it can help you, too. Consider joining us for a breathing meditation class soon. We’d love to have you!

Kristi Horner
Founder and Executive Director
Courage to Caregivers

Today is a SPECIAL DAY – one of my truly BFF’s and her Prince Charming got married 39 years ago today (and thanks to Prince’s mother the beautiful Iris,) I met my Prince Charming the day before at their rehearsal dinner!
I met Helene right after I separated from my ex-husband, she became not only my friend but also a sister, cousin, aunt, and sometimes mother of advice. Helene is the best friend everyone wants. She understands you (me), and even though we can go months and sometimes years without a real conversation, our connection is honest and robust. I have known my BFF 40 plus years, and we will continue this friendship for eternity.
It’s a funny story about how I met Richard the day before their wedding. Rich, the friend of the groom (Lanny), was also the videographer for their wedding, and in my life, at that time, I had a plant and floral business, so I was their floral designer as well. As we met at the Temple for the rehearsal, in walks Richard in a white suit – reddish cropped beard – looking like he owns the place and I mistake him for the Rabbi (only to learn later he was not, and he also wasn’t Jewish, OH MY!)
Rich and I collaborated on the ceremony details, and at the end of rehearsal, I went home while the rest of the party went to dinner. (This was in the days before Cell Phones!) When I walked into my townhouse, I heard a message playing on my answering machine, and it was Lanny suggesting I come to the dinner, Richard requested my presence, and Iris was quick to accept his wish. Without thinking twice, I turned around and went to the dinner.
At dinner, I felt like Richard, and I had known each other for years. We sat with four of his friends, and they included me as if we were all life-long companions. After the dinner, the guys separated and went to a mini bachelor party held in the hotel room of one of the male guests, and the women went back to Helene’s place, and chit chatted. I don’t think an hour elapsed before Rich and Will (Lanny’s brother-in-law) came over to Helene’s room, suggesting that it may be more fun hanging with the females, and slowly the other men converged on the room too.
By this point, Rich and I were on a mini date.
The next morning, I had to get up early to pick up the flowers and set-up the Temple (the Chuppah), and my new pal Rich, helped. That whole day we were inseparable, and when Helene arrived at the Temple to get dressed and have me prepare her make-up, she was smiling from ear to ear. Although she wasn’t sure, Richard was my perfect Prince Charming; she had witnessed the immediate connection. She gave me some words of wisdom, “BE CAREFUL!”
The wedding was beautiful, and the appropriate number of happy tears were shed. Rich and I took a stroll down the aisle right after I fell catching the bridal bouquet. I could say the rest is history because June 13, 1981, Rich and I met, and now we have been married 36 years because of the union between two of our friends and the huge heart of Iris Light.
Helene and Lanny have been extended family since that day 39 years ago, attending family events as well as accepting the honor to be our son’s God Parents.
In addition to Lanny and Helene, we gained Will and Cindy Metzger (brother-in-law and sister to Lanny.) We have been blessed because of their union on this day in 1981.
If you had told me on June 12, 1981, I would meet my Prince Charming, and thirty-nine years later, after many detours in our lives, the four of us would still have a lasting relationship despite – Sickness, Health, Richer and Poorer we are still standing strong!

Happy 39 years to Helen and Lanny Light, may you continue to LOVE!