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40 YEARS of MARRIAGE
February 3, what this date means to me.
Forty years ago on February 3, 1984, Rich and I got married by Rabbi Eisenberg (May he REST in PEACE), witnessed by friends Debbie and Dave. Although I had been living with Rich since 1982, and we talked about marriage it was extremely important for me that when he asked and I said, “YES”, it would be for life.
I came into our relationship with what is often termed as baggage. I had been divorced for almost 2 years and I had custody of my son from that marriage who was almost 5 years old. I was living in Cincinnati when we met and Rich lived in Peninsula, Ohio, a 5-hour drive that I took every couple of weeks leading up to moving in, in 1982. We made the long-distance relationship work so moving in was the next step.
We became an instant family, accepted by his parents and his friends. However, we faced numerous obstacles including the cost of transportation so my son (Steve) could visit his father. Rich was involved from the get-go, but it started to take a toll on our relationship. Soon after we settled in my ex-husband was not happy about our new living relationship and this soon turned into a custody issue dragging us all through the court system. Although the court continued to grant me custody, on February 8, 1984, we were scheduled to go to court and face the judge. My attorney at the time suggested if we wanted to retain custody, we should get married. This led to our marriage in the Rabbi’s study on February 3, 1984.
Rich and I agreed to go through the formality, however I did not want to get married until this issue was resolved. Since I did not have that choice, we agreed to silently get married, if it didn’t work, we said we would end it in the future or plan another wedding that would include family and friends. Yes, we won custody in court after spending a lot of money (well worth it for my son), we returned home and decided to plan a summer wedding and we chose the date, July 15th.
Yes, this year we will be married for forty-years twice, does that mean we have been married for 80 years????
Now let’s talk about marriage. I am grateful for my first marriage as my son Steve is a gift from that union. Although I initially blamed his father for not (never) loving me, time has healed those wounds as I realize we were young when we met and got married and we were so different from each other that those differences divided us and created what now I see as a toxic marriage. I have learned so much over the years and acknowledge the divorce was needed for us to find our personal happiness. My son’s father and his wife will also be celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary this year.
When I met my husband, Rich, I realized for me that the second time was the charm. I married my best friend, and I became his lover and go to person. It has not been easy, we have faced numerous challenges and we have tripped over the obstacles, but even when we have stumbled and fell, we got up and brushed ourselves off and kissed and made-up.
Kissing and making up doesn’t mean you have to give up your opinion and turn your differences into a mutual like, it’s ok to be different and not always OK with each other.
Rich and I made it through a custody issues, two weddings in one year, and bringing family and friends together to accept our union even when some said it would not last. (Thank you all for the challenge but somehow, we have made it.)
Rich and I struggled having a child, many rounds of IVF that we were told would be covered by my insurance only to find out that they weren’t, and we had a billed of $40,000+ to pay. Three plus years of dreaming, hoping, and praying, and a miscarriage, in December 1989 we were finally pregnant. (This pregnancy almost didn’t happen, the night before the insemination, I was molested by a doctor.) With the love and support of my husband and my OB/GYN I went through the procedure because we knew it was the right decision.
Not easy getting pregnant, and not an easy pregnancy. Sick for the first three months, and Braxton-Hicks’s contractions for the last three months, we brought Alex into the World in August 1990. And all went well for the first 30 days until our baby became violently ill and underwent abdominal surgery. When we brought him home all went well for 6 years. At six Alex was diagnosed with Autism/Aspergers and faced the challenges of what Special Needs meant.
Alex made us better and stronger as we did our best, adjusting when needed, and allowing him and us to live in a more traditional and normal state. Life is not like in the Hallmark™ movies, and Facebook has provided me with the insight that ‘perfect’ does not exist, well maybe for an hour or two when we are playing at something we like and want to do. I wouldn’t change a thing, well maybe a few tweaks here and there.
Today, I have three special men in my life, my husband Rich, my son Steve, and my son Alex. I love all three of them and I feel blessed they love and like me too. As a teenager all I wanted was that one special guy and I was living to find him. When I met Rich (at Helene and Lanny’s wedding rehearsal, I was not looking for a relationship) I was beginning to feel secure as a single woman, single mom, and being single. However, as fate may have it, once I met Rich something clicked, and that feeling is still within me. I am with my person, and despite the fact that not every moment in the day is perfect, I would be lost without this man who continues to provide me with my independence. I am blessed that he accepted my oldest son and has been a father and friend figure for him for 40+ years. Rich is a wonderful father and has been involved from the first moment we conceived. He has been by side when we experienced the loss and miscarriages. He developed a strong loving bond with my parents and brothers taking a seat at the table.
When I told my mother Rich and I were getting married she commented, “The first time you marry for love, the second time for money…” Although this was to be a long-standing joke between us, I told her this time is for a lasting friendship/love with a man called Rich.
Here is to 40 Plus!
I LOVE RICH
2024
More Than a Blog- It’s 39 Years of Marriage
Yesterday, July 15, 2023
Richard and I celebrated 39 years of marriage, but we’ve been together 41 years – as they say “Oy Vay!” Rich and I are not much on celebrations. In fact, in the early years, just as we are now, we were both working to make ends meet. Sometimes we drive up to Detroit to see my family for a free dinner out, and other times it was my dear mother-in-law who always made sure we did something special. That meant not going to McDonalds, but maybe to Pizza Hut for an all you can eat buffet. (Do they still have that?)
Once Alex was born our celebration included him and we went out to entertain him more than ourselves.
This year was different. For the first time in 32 years, we were alone for our anniversary. Alex is working and living in Fort Worth and circumstances did not provide him with the opportunity to come home. Steve was just here for Mother’s Day and truly he should be on vacation (he works too hard.) However, last night we were joined for dinner with new friends Kristi & Rob (who are now our new family). I met Kristi a year ago through an online group and despite our age differences and backgrounds growing up I know we are kindred spirits. Dinner was fun as they got Rich to share stories on how we met (Thank you Iris, Lanny & Helene), how he proposed (a long story, anyone for a McDonald’s), and much more including his life before we met…
Kristi picked up on something I posted yesterday that it was our anniversary (not the original reason for going out), and gave us the sweetest loving card, but also had a piece of chocolate Oreo cake brought to the table with a candle. The dinner and evening were wonderful, and it was simple. (Kristi and Rob, we must do this again, before next year!!!)
I know for some birthdays and anniversaries are celebrated for days and I hear some celebrate the whole month. We have never been like that, nor do I think we ever will be. The reality is we love each other as well as like each other and spending our lives together is a celebration. This year I missed so many of the people who were part of our celebration on July 15, 2024, including our parents who became friends and family over the years. My in-laws and my mom and dad enjoyed the company of each other, and they would get together when they were both in Florida and when my parents came to visit us.
Sadly, in addition to our parents no longer being with us, we have experienced the loss of friends, and other relatives who made our day a true MITZVAH. On that day I never thought we would experience the losses we have in 39 years. Naïve as I was, I thought our parents would be with us year after year to continue to acknowledge the longevity of our marriage.
When we announced, we were getting married we had friends who swore we would never last. Well to those who thought it or said it out loud, “Looks like we made it” despite the Manilow lyrics – we did not leave each other to find another. In fact, our gift to each other was a renewal for yet another year. We are on to 40!
Join me: Karen the COACH ADVOCATE
Is it time to Make a Change? If so let me assist you in finding a COACH that will assist you! Take a few moments or more to listen to “AVOID the MAZE” https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSdL23sBfgglvxEjZXu-qhyXPYzGo0Exw as well as to “The Intentionality Gurus” https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSdL23sBfggmjrQLY_iaPtsrK-ls19Bh6. The more I work with coaches and the more I learn has exponentially increased my happiness and zest for living my best life.
Getting Older means WE R ALIVE AND EVOLVING
Women can be beautiful and amazing – it is time WOMEN like YOU & I 2 Believe in OURSELVES – JOIN me!
It is 5782
6 September 2021 The Jewish new year is not celebrated, it is observed. Depending on what sect of Judaism you practice you may observe for one day or maybe two. “Since the time of the destruction of the Second Temple of Jerusalem in 70 CE and the time of Rabban Yohanan ben Zakkai, normative Jewish law appears to be that Rosh Hashanah is to be celebrated for two days, because of the difficulty of determining the date of the new moon.” The Jewish practice is the day/holiday that begins at sunset and ends at sunset, Reform Jews typically observe for one day – that would mean beginning tonight at Sundown until tomorrow night at Sundown.
Many of us, especially those of us living in the U.S., are more cultural in our heritage than religious. I was raised in a conservative home – “Conservative Judaism, religious movement that seeks to conserve essential elements of traditional Judaism but allows for the modernization of religious practices in a less radical sense than that espoused by Reform Judaism.” My parents were not religiously observant however when it came to the High Holidays they were a bit more pious.
I have chosen Reform Judaism because it has enabled the Jewish people to introduce innovation while preserving tradition while embracing diversity. The Reform movement offers me a hint of the tradition I grew up with and yet allows me to live my life and observe in a manner that has meaning to me. Tomorrow morning I will be attending Rosh Hashannah services virtually. I have chosen to remain at home and observe in this manner as I am still not comfortable being in a large gathering, so I will offer up my prayers in front of a computer screen.
Religion, as well as traditional acts, are not important to everyone and I accept that we can choose to believe and pray to whomever. I share my love and kindness with all of you and ask that you find it in your hearts to accept others whether they believe in the same things you do. We need not clone ourselves – but we must be ourselves – authentic.
Podcast with newclevelandradio.net
10 May 2021
MAY THERE BE NO EXCUSES!
Ok Ladies and Gentlemen it is time to share your story, your journey, or your mission in life. We are not promised tomorrow, but we have today, we are in the present, and on behalf of newclevelandradio.net, I want to invite you to become part of our podcasting family.
Have you thought about starting a podcast but didn’t know where to begin? Are you motivated enough to invest in the right equipment, software programs, and editing tools to make your podcast stand out? Sure you can podcast on your Smart Phone and you may have a zillion and one friends but will you reach all of them when you post your link?
I have been podcasting now for over 5 years and recording for another 5 years before that and I am still learning the tricks of the trade. I have taken over newclevelandradio.net from my son Alex and I have grown the podcasts and listeners exponentially. When you team with other podcasters you are privy to their friends and contacts and they are privy to yours and together we can be successful.
Our mission is to produce only positive messaging shows. The majority of us are not experts in our field but we know enough about life experiences to share them and learn from them. If we touch just one listener we have created a decisive moment for them. Wouldn’t you like to help someone just by sharing what makes YOU FEEL GOOD?
We are not here to sell products but to share products, ideas, concerns, strategies, and a lot of smiles and laughter along the way. So it’s your turn and you are welcome to be part of something bigger than any one of us alone… TRY IT, YOU MIGHT LIKE IT! (Mikey tried and he liked it – the 70’s Life Cereal Kid!)
Email karen at [email protected]
LAWRENCE S. KATZ- Author- And So Much More!
I am pleased to introduce you to my guest on Lessons Learned this Friday, February 12, 2021, when my friend Lawrence S. Katz talks BASEBALL
Lawrence S. Katz has written numerous articles about baseball for publications including Sports Collectors Digest, The Baseball Research Journal, and Primo Magazine. He contributed a chapter entitled “When Immortals Returned to the Minors” for The Perfect Game, an anthology published by the Taylor Publishing Company in 1993 and by Barnes & Noble in 1995.
This work is a revised edition of his book Baseball in 1939: The Watershed Season of the National Pastime, published by McFarland and Company in 1995 and 2012. The book, and his abstract titled “Baseball & Cultural Change in the Late 1930s,” are included in the Baseball Hall of Fame Library collection.
Katz has spoken on a variety of baseball subjects, including Depression Era baseball at the Baseball in Literature and Culture Symposium at Indiana State University, the recent return of minor league baseball to the Detroit area, and the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League – featured in the movie A League of their Own – at a dinner honoring former player Rose Gacioch.
He realized his dream of appearing on a major league pitching mound before a packed house when he sang the National Anthem with a choral group at Tiger Stadium in Detroit in 1988.
He has been a member of The Society for American Baseball Research since 1983.
Katz received his J.D. from Wayne State University Law School in 1972. He lives in Michigan with his wife, author Karen Tintori Katz.
https://www.facebook.com/Summer-of-Change-Baseball-in-1939-100624328292095/
Contact: [email protected]
PETS by Kristi Horner (Courage to Caregivers)
“Have you ever thought that your relationship with your pet is one of the best in your life? Pets provide simple, supportive, confidential support without criticism, advice, or conflict. They provide unconditional positive regard and make us feel needed, wanted, and valued.” – Shawn Burn, PhD
This week’s topic is a fun one – it’s all about how much we gain from having a pet. Just think of all the physical, mental, and emotional benefits we get from pets. Pets have an incredible ability to calm and soothe humans. They don’t judge, they provide unconditional love, they are a source of empathy and companionship, and they’re great to have around during a pandemic!
If you don’t have a pet, there are many reasons to get one. Having an animal friend can help you increase your activity level, get out of the house more, be more social, and get rid of that lonely feeling. Pets are great listeners, and they can be great motivators to help you meet your goals. For example, if you need more exercise, try walking the dog a few more times each week. Or if you just need more self-care time, maybe some extra snuggles will do the trick.
If that’s not enough, here’s a list from Paws for People of some of the therapeutic benefits we get from the simple act of petting:
- Produces an automatic relaxation response
- Stabilizes blood pressure
- Reduces the risk of heart disease, heart attacks, and stroke
- Improves cardiovascular health
- Slows breathing in those who are anxious
- Releases hormones such as phenylethylamine, the same effect as chocolate
- Diminishes overall physical pain
And there’s more. According to HelpGuide, studies have shown that:
- Pet owners are less likely to suffer from depression than those without pets.
- People with pets have lower blood pressure in stressful situations than those without pets.
- Playing with a dog or cat can elevate levels of serotonin and dopamine, which calm and relax.
- Pet owners have lower triglyceride and cholesterol levels (indicators of heart disease) than those without pets.
- Heart attack patients with pets survive longer than those without pets.
- Pet owners over age 65 make 30 percent fewer visits to their doctors than those without pets.
Perhaps most important of all, Shawn Burn notes that “the emotional bond between people and their pets is particularly therapeutic because it’s nonjudgmental. Your pet won’t judge you for wearing sweatpants 24/7, being grumpy, or having that extra glass of wine.”
In other words, pets will accept you for being YOU.
Kristi Horner
Founder and Executive Director
Courage to Caregivers
MY VOICE and I WILL CONTINUE TO USE IT
Three weeks and one day is the last day you can make a difference and VOTE Blue! I am asking you if you have not voted yet, and if you haven’t requested an absentee ballot to consider early voting, call your local board of elections and get the information you need to make a change.
We have lived with Trump for 4 years and he made promises and he could have followed through on them but he spent so much time talking about his PLAN but never offered US the American people what that entailed. He gave us a tax break and took it back the following year when we paid our taxes, yet he has not paid his taxes!
Talk does not take care of the American People, you and me. Talk, discussion, weighing options, and listening to what the average Joe needs is what our President and the House of Representatives and the Senate should be responding to. Trump created such commotion in building a wall that is now crumbling and falling! What a waste of money that could have been on Health Care and or Job Creation.
Trump walked into the Oval Office with a strong economy, he made the economy worse for the average Joe but kept his cronies gaining wealth that was not shared! JOBs, let me tell you that the JOB market even before the Pandemic was meek. If you or someone you know what looking to garner a job (not even career) to put food on the table and roof over your head it was not easy, why do you think so many of us are working multiple jobs with no benefits, including sick days.
If Trump didn’t make the promised changes he eluded to over the last four years why do you think the next four years will be any better. Get a grip Trump and his cronies do not care about US. If Trump cared about you, and your well being he would, he would have listened to the scientists.doctors and would have shared REAL Information with us from the get-go. He has not taken the precautions that he needed to take and he continues to go out in public without a mask and not socially distancing, well making ‘fun’ of those of us who are trying to reduce this Pandemic!
I won’t even discuss his need to outbalance the Supreme Court and yet says he must do this because the Dems will do it if they win. The American People 52% to 44% believe the Supreme Court decision should not be made until after the Election. Why is he in such a hurry, have you caught on to his garbage yet?
Check this out and see the Republicans backing Biden https://www.cnn.com/2020/08/18/politics/republicans-supporting-biden/index.html
Also – “The last living former Republican president, George W. Bush, has said he won’t back Trump. Nor will his brother Jeb Bush, the former governor of Florida who was mercilessly ridiculed by Trump when they fought for the GOP nomination in 2016.” https://www.forbes.com/sites/andrewsolender/2020/09/27/all-the-republicans-who-have-endorsed-joe-biden-for-president/#3bc762557340
Consider the facts, Trump wants to cut or eliminate SS – if you are a senior or if you are approaching age 65 or know someone – do they have enough money to survive even one year on SS? What if they were to have less or none? Are you going to support mom and dad, your grandparents, or your neighbor next door?
Biden and Harris have a plan https://www.forbes.com/sites/johngoodman/2020/09/28/the-bidenharris-economic-plan/#28cb2dcc73ce
Yes, Biden will raise taxes for those that can afford it- if they earn 400,000.00 dollars or more a year. If you earn less like many of us – guess what our taxes will NOT INCREASE. Taxes are necessary without them infrastructure cannot be maintained or improved.
Make a plan now – VOTE Blue – If you have an absentee ballot if possible take it directly to your board of elections, I am taking mine to Summit County here in Ohio today. My son, husband, and I have completed our absentee ballots and I will take them all sealed to the DropBox, and I will track them to ensure they were received and ready for counting. If you cannot deliver them personally mail them and track them. If you can get someone to drive you to your Board of Elections – not your precinct, accept the ride to place it in the dropbox!
Please note – if you do not want Trump – a vote for anyone but Biden supports TRUMP – help bring the United States back in line with the needs of the Average Citizen – do not be bullied!
D5 Creation