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August 2 What it Means to Me!
August 2, 2016, I received a call from my brother Joel. Just shortly before he called me, he learned that our mother had suffered a stroke. That morning still stands out in my mind, as Rich left for work, I went out on our back patio and decided to dig up and transplant a spider plant. The plant was barely growing between two well-thriving hostas. As I freed this struggling plant and replaced it in front of my patio doors, I felt as if I had just completed a decisive action. With a feeling of satisfaction, I smiled, knowing that it was going to be a good day until I received the phone call. That plant today is growing and sprouting new baby shoots each year.
I remember feeling a sense of disbelief; my mom was a strong woman who was 96 ½ years young. My brother had to have his information wrong. However, after promising him, I would get myself together and drive to Michigan to be with mom, I followed up with the hospital to learn her condition was concerning. (Now what does that mean?)
After getting my family situated, Rich, Alex, and I set out for Detroit. All we knew at that time was she had suffered what appeared to be a stroke, was blind, and had no idea what happened, or if anything happened. She had no concept of being blind; she saw what she wanted *in her mind.
Arriving hours later as I approached her hospital room, I feared the worst and hoped for the best. Mom was sleeping, as I slowly approached her and woke her up. She sounded like mom, although a bit confused as she began asking questions about why she was in the hospital. She said she felt fine and wanted to go home. I reassured she would be staying at the hospital for at least the night we had to identify what may have happened. Again, she still had no idea she was blind.
August 2, 2016, took us all on a journey we never expected or planned.
From August 2, through October 11, 2019, I was blessed to spend my mother’s last weeks with her. It was during this time I was able to talk to my mama in a manner I never thought I could. We went from what I depicted as a love/hate mother-daughter relationship to a loving, trusting, mother-daughter experience. I grew up during those weeks, even though I didn’t feel ready for the challenges I faced.
I have not felt the same since the transition from Summer to Fall in 2016. I have held on to the good memories from those weeks, the stories my mama told, some over and over again, while others were in fragments that I may never know the full meaning. During this period, I felt like I was in limbo just as much as my mom. Although there was no hope for her recovery, we also had no time table of her fate. Each day was a blessing and a miracle until she died.
I have been told by the rabbis and the scholarly Jewish community that my mother’s death on the Eve of Yom Kippur, October 11, 2016, was a mitzvah. My mother was absolved of all her sins in 2076, written into the book of life, and with 2077 on the horizon, she would leave this earthly world in the presence and acceptance of G-D. However, ever year, Yom Kippur rolls around as I pray for life,I now remember my mother’s life and the love she shared.
August the 2nd will always remind me of the opportunity I had to care for my mother and create a heartful of loving memories!
SEEDS by Terri-Lynn Pellegri
Seeds
I marvel at the idea of a seed. The power, the information, the possibility that lives inside a very tiny thing. It’s the beginning. It honestly makes me teary-eyed and shiver with delight. I get to use my imagination, trust and believe, dream of the future of what something, can possibly become. Whether this seed is one that is visible to me, that may grow into a plant or flower, or a seed of thought that has the ability to expand and become something more, to transform peoples beliefs, either way, the potential is there. A number of years ago, I was at the home of Bill Charlap and Renee Rosnes preparing for a photoshoot with Bill and his mother Sandy Stewart for their CD “Something to Remember”. I was in the backyard where these beautiful delicate lilies were growing and was overcome by them. It was September, the time of year when some had gone to seed, Renee reached in and plucked some off and placed them in my hand. We transferred them into a little envelope and I took them home. That next year I planted them in small containers so I could identify them and care for them while they sprouted. At the end of the summer, they had grown big enough for me to transplant into the ground. It took a few years of watching them, watering them until I actually got a flower. Now seeing them grow in my backyard, I think about that day when Renee handed me those seeds. It gives me a lift, it all has to start somewhere, and sometimes it’s just a simple gesture. That thought is the fuel that powers this little engine… “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can”.
@reneerosnes #lily #seed #seeds #believe #backyardgarden
#1 Going Forward
Today is the day I begin my dream. Dreams are not just for sleep or zoning out in the middle of the day. Although that form of dreaming can be inspirational if we focus on what we want and set goals to reach it. If we don’t, we can be stranded in the what if’s of life. I refuse to be trapped in my thoughts as I have spent a large portion of my life dreaming, wishing, and wanting. I have ventured out into the what appears to be the cold dark world with doubters. This time, I will not be stopped by those who chose to impact me negatively.
When I elected to take this venture into writing, I began with blogging. I believe the best blogs I have written are based on self-reflection that others may associate with. When I receive feedback, I experience an overwhelming sense of wellbeing that I am not the oddity I thought I was. Blogging, journaling, or writing a book can give me/you a clear picture of the meaning of life. (Don’t worry I am not going to get deep and dark here.)
So, have you guessed my dream? It is writing a book based on my blogging journals that may not only be my story but yours as well. I am beginning the climb up the mountain, and I will continue forging ahead.
I am looking forward to the feelings of achievement that only I am capable of producing for myself. I hope you will join me on my climb while I reach for the apex
ARE U LISTENING!
Yesterday I noticed someone (who I barely know) had posted that for his birthday donations to Autism Speaks would be kindly accepted. I privately messaged him and shared the following:
For almost 8 + years, my son and I supported Autism Speaks locally as well as at various walks, not local. We did so on our time and our dime, however, the more we helped them, the less we were acknowledged. We were not looking for a pat on the back, but we wanted to be heard because as the phrase goes, “Autism Speaks in Listening,” however they aren’t. They are just another 501c3 that pushes their volunteers to go out and raise money for the organization. The funds, in theory, are being assessed for research but how much of that money is going into salaries, and other upfront costs. The majority of families soliciting funds are scrapping by taking care of their children. Very little money donated to Autism Speaks goes toward helping individuals on the spectrum and families. “Only 1.6% of Autism Speaks’ budget goes towards the “Family Service” grants that are the organization’s means of funding services.”
When Autism Speaks about the spectrum, they dramatize the lowest end of the lineage, and they are ignoring those that may need it the most, the high functioning. And their counterparts may teeter-totter on the line. Out of 26 members on the board of Autism Speaks, only two are identified on the spectrum., and one may not have any connection to the malady known as Autism!
My son Alex pointed out to the local board that it was time to stand up to this organization and stop portraying individuals that have Autism as mysterious and frightening people. He was speaking for all and suggesting it is time to be aware of the realism that is associated with the Spectrum Disorder. It is also time to understand the mixed-bag of diagnosis labels given to children who grow up to be adults. If we assume Autism is mysterious, and we are frightened by their unique qualities, consider how they may be looking at the rest of the world. Who says we are normal and they are not?
My son Alex was once told he would not amount to anything by a local psychiatrist here in the Cleveland, Ohio area. Well, Alex proved her wrong, and he wants to help others escape the labels and preconceived notions. Alex has a dream (2 dreams). The first is to follow his heart and passion for baseball and grow within the MLB system. He will never be a major league player, but he wants to develop within the framework of this remarkable group of people. Also, he is determined to show you and the rest of this bigoted society that he and others weird. They may have symptoms of the disorder; therefore, they have unique abilities to function if we provide the pathway.
We must stop separating them and their families, leaving our communities disjointed. The value of their voices through art, music, sports, science, technology, and various contributions they can offer is invaluable. Autism Speaks must learn to speak their language and listen to their needs and wants. Do not assume that if you have a child on the spectrum, they will only have friends or acquaintances just like them. It is time to stop pairing one Aussie with another.
Alex is not in this fight alone. Here in Cleveland, Ohio, the brave and vocal John Keaney walks around this city with a sign that states his name and proudly displays he has Autism. Note, he has Autism, but Autism does not have him. John is able and capable of living on his own, driving, working as well as cultivating friends despite what some doctors and or scientist may have told his family. The word is out to stop the ignorance.
Creating a dating site for those on the spectrum is wrong! Get to know someone with Autism and learn how easy it is to love them. I fell in love with my husband 35+ years ago. I did not know what Autism was and neither did he, however as his mother said on numerous occasions, Rich marches to the beat of a different drummer. Although I agree, I learned to march with him, and last week we celebrated our 35th Wedding Anniversary. I am in love with my husband, who has Autism and functions like the typical population. Alex is living life as a regular individual. Isn’t it time we tell Autism Speaks to stop the chatter and listen?
Choose
A year ago, I was working out daily, sometimes too often and too long, causing myself some undue anxiety. I continued at this pace through the early Fall, using our trip to NY and starting a new weekend job as an excuse as to why I didn’t have time or the energy to continue. Along came winter, cold temperatures and snow giving me yet another “stupid” reason not to get to the gym. While working out, I was more aware and in tune what I was feeding my body as well as experiencing the good feelings, often referred to endorphins. Since the 1st of the year, I’ve been back but not consistently, until I chose to make it public that I am getting back into the groove. The best way for me to get healthier and maintain my positive energy is by working out and eating correctly. On Monday of this wee, I set a plan in motion to work out, treadmill walking at my gym, Anytime Fitness. The first step was putting it on my calendar for first thing in the morning, Monday – Thursday. I have left Friday, Saturday, and Sunday as off days, as two of those days I am on my feet walking for 3 -4 hours. I know it is essential for me to share my plan to help me stay focused and reach the goals necessary for my well being. I have learned through, “The Intentionality Gurus,” https://newclevelandradio.net/the-intentionality-gurus-with-candace-pollock/ this is vital, for me.
We all can make changes that will enhance our lives. It takes choosing to do so. Don’t waste your minutes, hours, and days waiting for the right time, it is up to you as it was up to me!
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WHY COMPLAIN? B – P_O_S_I_T_I_V_E
Complaining or voicing disagreement and frustrations seems to be the conversation of the day. We seem to be in a contest to prove to ourselves and others how tough we have it, even if it’s a half-hearted dialogue that sounds like a five minute bit for an open mic night. However, you don’t think it’s funny, and in truth, the person(s) listening may be thinking, wait till you hear what I have to say!
The person(s) are not listening they are waiting to pounce on you with, wait till I tell you what happened to me, or did you know…?
Tuesday, July 9th, Melinda Smith, the host of Heart Mojo and her guest Marc Alu recorded the monthly podcast of Heart Mojo https://newclevelandradio.net/follow-heart-mojo-with-melinda-smith/. Melinda is an inspiration to many not only is she a cancer survivor, but she is also a survivor of many aspects of life, and she motivates herself through sharing, caring, and compassion for life (her’s and yours!) Her guest Marc Alu is a two time survivor of cancer amongst life challenges. His first go-round to reach cure/remission was not enough to make this simple, talented man smile. As he faced his cancer demon for a second time, he radically changed his life physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Marc is a drummer and not only does he play in his band, but he is also associated with:
Drummer at Tracy Marie, Drummer at Graffiti, Drummer at Run Avril Run, Drummer at Reality Tour, Drummer at USA Country, Drummer at The Feedbacks Band; Cleveland Ohio
As we sat in the small home studio of newclevelandradio.net and discussed life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, I realized that millions of people are missing out on appreciating the life they have. You have heard we only get one, at least one in this form. It should be our mission to make our lives the best we are able without creating earth quacks, tsunamis, tornados, or unneeded rain! To do so, we must look at the bright side of life. We have too many cancers in this world, and that way to remain healthy is to remove the toxicities that are destroying us physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
If you want to share positivity contact us at newclevelandradio@gmail.com.
Depression is a STATE of Mind_Let’s Talk
Good morning world! As I shared yesterday, depression is a state of mind, and often the answer as to why we are feeling down, blue, and sometimes worthless is unexplainable. The feelings of despair are often like a rollercoaster they sweep us up and down until we reach a calm. Learning to journal and vocalize my thoughts has been my happy tool even when I sit here crying as I type the words on the screen. However, it cleanses me and allows me to be more aware of the changes that I feel both physically and emotionally.
I have identified myself as an open book, too often wearing my heart on my sleeve, but I am OK with that. It is my life and the way I choose to live it to the fullest. Join me in this conversation as I begin a new podcast with YOU about Empowering Yourself to FEEL! Let us mentor each other through the process, taking a journey with new adventures to fulfill ourselves.
Contact me at newclevelandradio@gmail.com and let’s talk!
U Are Not the ONLY ONE facing DEPRESSION
For some families, the 4th of July is for family, picnics or cookouts, and others it is still another workday. Even if it’s not another workday, you may find yourself alone with no plans either by choice or not. This holiday like so many others, can breed depression. If you are one of the millions suffering today (or any day) face your demons and take a step forward into the light!
Depression is more common than you might want to acknowledge, and you are not the only with these symptoms. Yes, indicators that may be causing you to feel down, worthless, empty, and utterly despondent. Statistically, 1 out of 15 adults experiences this sense of sadness annually. If you are one, it is essential to acknowledge it, embrace it, and get the assistance you may need.
I have been experiencing depression most of my life. However, while I was still living at home under the roof of my parents, their answer to this malady was to keep my chin up. It is easier said than done, and without the proper tools, it may be impossible. For me, it was all about reliving my feels and crying over my woes. Once I was cried out, I was too exhausted to feel miserable, so I put on my happy face and attempted to find the smile behind my mask.
After suffering for almost 64 years, I began to acknowledge my demons in the winter of 2014. Many of those demonic fears were self-imposed and yet I was unaware of that at the time. My journey began by acknowledging I was ill as I took sick leave from my corporate job that I loved; however, the environment was toxic for me. It was with this acknowledgment that I sought help.
Help came through therapies, including psychologically, medically, and spiritually. What I have learned is I am OK! Being OK does not mean perfect. It is the imperfections that make me special, unique, and astonishing. The opinion of others is not what should define me. This five plus year journey has taught me to be true to myself. It is not always comfortable.
Stepping out of my comfort zone was difficult, but I wanted to witness the amazement of loving life. These words are spoken and sung in various ways. Demi Lovato sings about finding the love and self-confidence inside yourself before you seek acceptance from anyone else. https://youtu.be/cwLRQn61oUY
Join me as I continue to share my journey, tell me about yours, and let’s create a safe and loving world. It’s time to become more aware of our needs while accepting that we are not alone. Hold out your hand and acceptance the guidance.
Depression is not a cookie cutter illness, nor is the treatment.
DANCE to Your New JOURNEY
Today is the last Friday in June 2019, half of 2019 is behind us, but there is always today, and tomorrow will come! I used to be a worry-wart trying to accomplish tomorrow’s business today just so I could have a day off; however, if you do that daily, you never take time off. Without taking the time to recuperate, refresh, and recharge each task often gets more complicated, and internal resentment builds up. (At least it did for me.) While I was so busy living for tomorrow, I was not fulfilling my own needs and reaching my potential.
They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, while I am not a dog, nor am I old in mind and spirit. Therefore I have been able to venture down a new fork in the road and experience this thing we call life. It is precious, and embracing it with all my heart and soul has allowed me to develop into a more empowered happier me.
I challenge you to ask yourself one question, are you happy with yourself? Do not criticize yourself when you answer honestly. Take your answer(s) and take a gamble on walking down a new path today. Instead of going straight turn right or turn left. Witness the landscape and breath in the newness. Feel what you see, feel what you hear, and feel from the depths inside. Experience those feelings that may have gone dormant while living for tomorrow instead of for today.
No judgments. We are all on a personal journey, and until you embark on yours as I have on mine, you will never become one with your body, spirit, and mind.
D5 Creation